Spyro email/Skydiving

Spyro email #21: Spyro goes Skydiving off the Sarah-Copter, and learns something from Homestar.

Cast (in order of appearance): Spyro, Sarah, Drake, Bad Boy, CATS, 3D Printer, Strong Bad, Peachy, Stinkoman, Homestar, Gravity, 1-Up.

Places: Sarah-Copter, Sky, A bush

Computer: Main Computer

Date: November 10

Number of Lines: 169

Transcript

{Shows Spyro standing at the control panel of the Sarah-Copter.}

SPYRO: {Takes a deep breath} SARAH!

{Pans right showing that Sarah is sitting right next to him.}

SARAH: {Immediately} What?

SPYRO: Are we there yet?

SARAH: No. In an hour or so.

SPYRO: {Complaining} Aw…but an hour is like…uhh…7 hours in Spyro years.

SARAH: Get used to it. Do something what the others are doing.

{Cuts to a different room showing the entire main cast playing cards at a poker table.}

DRAKE: How much is the pot?

BAD BOY: 50 dollars.

DRAKE: Cool. I bet 1 dollar and…{Reaches below for something, and puts his boxers on the table} my boxer shorts.

{Silence}

EVERYONE ELSE: I fold.

DRAKE: Horray! {Takes his winnings} I got money!

{Cuts back to Spyro and Sarah.}

SPYRO: But playing poker is like…7 dollars in Spyro years.

SARAH: Well then deal with it.

SPYRO: {Inspired} Hey, I got it! Does this place have a computer?

SARAH: Uhh…I think the main computer doubles as a regular computer.

SPYRO: Sweet. Main screen turn on.

{Cuts to a front view of the main computer in front of Spyro and Sarah. After 3 seconds of static appears, CAT’s, from Sigma Star (or commonly known as All Your Base), fades in on the screen.}

CATS: How are you gentlemen…and lady.

SPYRO: Uh…Who’s that?

SARAH: The computer always does that when you say that command. {To the computer} Computer, activate.

{Cats fades away and a regular Mac computer desktop (similar to the Tangerine Dreams) appears on the screen.}

SPYRO: What is this?

SARAH: It’s a computer.

SPYRO: Yeah, but, it’s all…Macintosh.

SARAH: Macs are much better than Pc’s.

SPYRO: I don’t use PC. I use Dragon P.

SARAH: Just use this operating system.

{Clicks on Mail button.}

Subject: skydiving

Jyo, Spyro.

Have extreme sports ever caught your eye?
You should attempt skydiving. It's fun.
You fall out of the sky and parachute down.
It's like being weightless.
-Greggo and Dmitra Yunharla

SPYRO: {reads} Let’s see here…Skydiving? How very coincidental. But I never tried it. I think now is the time. {To Sarah} Can you sky dive?

SARAH: No. I don’t even have equipment.

SPYRO: Look, I’m gotta-{Pause} Oh, you are letting me do this. Well, I always come prepared. {Reaches in his pocket and pulls out the 3D printer.} The 3D printer!

SARAH: Jeeze, how much stuff can you fit in that pocket?

SPYRO: I don’t know. {Sticks his head in his pocket, and speaks with a muffled voice, and with a little bit of echo} Wow! There’s an entire ecosystem in here! {Bitting noise} Ow! {Takes his head out of his pocket with a yellow snake attached to his nose} A snake bit me! {He pulls off the snake and throws it behind him}

DRAKE: {Off-screen} AHHH! Snakes on a helicopter!

SPYRO: {Plugs the printer in to the screens side} Now printer, print me skydiving equipment.

PRINTER: Sure thing dude.

{The printer prints out a backpack and goggles.}

SPYRO: And print out a skydiving instructor.

PRINTER: Did you check the manual?

SPYRO: {Sarcastically} Let me guess. I can’t say I want to print out a person that has a job that involves jumping out of a plane.

PRINTER: But-

SPYRO: {Continuing} And if I did say that then I will get crushed by a heavy lourde. Not only that, but if I’m in a helicopter, then I will be crushed by 2 heavy lourdes.

PRINTER: But-

SPYRO: {Continuing} And if I saying this right now, I will get crushed by bosses and heavy Lourdes simultaneously.

PRINTER: Dude, I was just saying that you need to be specific about who you want to print.

SPYRO: Well why didn’t you say so? Print out…Strong Bad.

PRINTER: Ok.

{Strong Bad pops out of the 3D printer on a cell phone.}

STRONG BAD: {To the phone} Listen, that job I had was a world record. And it was real even if you don’t-{Realizes he’s somewhere else} Huh? Where am I?

SPYRO: Do you teach Skydiving?

STRONG BAD: Uhh…yeah. Yes I do.

SPYRO: Great! Teach me!

STRONG BAD: Teach you? All you have to do is jump and pull on the backpack when you have to.

SPYRO: Oh. That’s it?

STRONG BAD: Yep. Except you need someone to do it with. And it can’t be me.

SPYRO: Well, hold on a second.

{Cuts to everyone else playing poker.}

DRAKE: Got any Jacks?

PEACHY: This isn’t go fish.

SPYRO: {walking on-screen} People, who wants to go skydiving?

BAD BOY: Skydiving?

SPYRO: I just said that, Skydiving.

BAD BOY: Why?

SPYRO: Because it’s {Really loudly} EXTREME!

STINKOMAN: Extreme? Is that another name for a challenge?

SPYRO: Well, it is a challenge in a different way.

STINKOMAN: I’m in!

{Cuts to Spyro and Stinkoman with parachuting gear on, and standing at the open door of the copter.}

SPYRO: Ok, so do we just jump?

STINKOMAN: Yeah, like Dangeresque.

SPYRO: I don’t know. It’s seems pretty high.

1-UP: {Running to the door with no equipment} I’ll do it! {Jumps out of the copter with his voice fading} Weeeeeeeeee!

{Silence}

STRONG BAD: {Walking to the door} Uhh…Allow me to psychologically force you to go. {Takes out a pack of cold ones and drops it outside}

DRAKE: {squeezing through to get to the door} Was that cold one legal for teens?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I think-

DRAKE: Wait! {Jumps out of the copter trying to get the cold one}

{Silence}

STRONG BAD: Uhh…if that doesn’t get you to go, then I give-

{Strong Bad prods them out the door and they fall off-screen. Cuts to both of them falling.}

SPYRO: Hey, he tricked us.

STINKOMAN: Yeah, their no challenges here?

SPYRO: No, not that. He said he gave up.

STINKOMAN: Who cares? There’s no challenge’s.

SPYRO: {Pause} Well, might as well enjoy this.

{Zooms out showing Homestar falling upside down.}

HOMESTAR: Hey guys. How’s it going?

SPYRO: Uhh…are you skydiving too?

HOMESTAR: No, I’m auditioning for a main page.

SPYRO: You don’t need to actually jump out of plane to do that. They have special equipment.

HOMESTAR: {Surprised} Really? Then what am I supposed to do with my lines?

SPYRO: What do you-

HOMESTAR: Toons!

{Strong Bad in the Strong Bad Hot air balloon passes by similar to Main page 9.}

STRONG BAD: I like to ride in my-

HOMESTAR: {To Strong Bad} Hey Strong Bad!

STRONG BAD: {Double takes} What the-

SPYRO: {Amazed} Whoa! How did you do that?

HOMESTAR: They’re magical lines.

STINKOMAN: Magical lines?

HOMESTAR: Yeah! Magical lines. They’re already set as an action that happens in a certain place, in certain clothes.

SPYRO: So, in this case, the environment is the sky?

HOMESTAR: Heck yeah!

SPYRO: And the magic words are…

HOMESTAR: Why should I tell you?

SPYRO: Why shouldn’t you tell us?

HOMESTAR: Because you have to be on a website or movie.

SPYRO: Ok then. Just- Oh wait, hold on a second.

{Spyro deploys his parachute, slowing down off-screen, while the camera still follows Stinkoman and Homestar. They immediately crash into some bushes. After 5 seconds, they come out unharmed.}

STINKOMAN: {Content} Isn’t it great living in a world where gravity never wins? {Points diagonally upward to the left} Take that gravity!

{Cuts to a grey blob floating in the sky with a “Hello, my name is gravity” tag that indicates that the blob gravity.}

GRAVITY: Stop mocking me!

{Cuts back to Stinkoman and Homestar where Spyro is landing.}

SPYRO: As I was saying, I’ll get my own website, but you have to tell me the magic words, and what they do.

HOMESTAR: I can tell you them…But I have no idea what they do.

SPYRO: So is it a yes?

HOMESTAR: Deal!

{Spyro reaches out to shake Homestars hand, only to realize that Homestar lacks arms.}

SPYRO: Uh…you want to shake a foot?

HOMESTAR: Deal!

{Both of them stick on leg up and kick each other’s soles of their feet.}

SPYRO: Now, what are the words?

HOMESTAR: Toons, games, characters, downloads, store, and email.

SPYRO: {Repeating} Toons, games, character, downloads, store, and email? Strange words.

HOMESTAR: {Lowering eyebrows} Hey, I didn’t make them up. Now go make that website!

SPYRO: First we got to figure out how to get back to the helicopter.

STINKOMAN: They’ll come back, right?

SPYRO: Nope.

{Cuts to a view showing the back of Spyros head looking at the Sarah-Copter still ascending to the sky.}

SPYRO: I don’t think they’re coming down.

{Cuts back to a normal view of all three of them.}

STINKOMAN: Well…{Flails his arms around} WHY…{Stops flailing} Not?

SPYRO: You’re asking me? I have no clue.

STINKOMAN: What about the words?

SPYRO: Uhh…Toons!

{An eagle with Drake and 1-Up in its talons swoops on-screen and drops them both next to Spyro and Stinkoman.}

SPYRO: Sweet! Downloads!

{A bowling ball drops down from above and smashes through the ground in front of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR: No, no, you say it like this. Downloads!

{The eagle comes back and grasps Drake and 1-Up off-screen again.}

SPYRO: Um…Toons?

{Once again, the eagle comes back with Drake and 1-Up in it’s talons, and drops them next to Spyro and Stinkoman.}

HOMESTAR: Looks like you’ve mastered the toons word.

SPYRO: What about the other ones? What do they do?

HOMESTAR: Well why don’t you try?

SPYRO: Umm…E-

{All of a sudden, Spyro, Stinkoman, Drake and 1-Up vanish starting from their heads to their feet. Cuts back to the inside of the Sarah copter with Sarah next to the 3D printer. The vanished cast members then appear in the same way Strong Bad entered.}

SPYRO: {Continuing} …mail. Wait, what happened?

SARAH: We’re here.

SPYRO: But I was learning the magical words from Homestar!

SARAH: Too bad. We’re here.

1-UP: But you should of seen him! He was all like…Store!

{Similar to the 20X6 main page, Stinkomans blue hair appears on 1-Ups head.}

1-UP: Check it out! I have hair!

{The paper comes down.}

Easter Egg

{Wait 10 seconds for additional dialouge}

SARAH: Well...are you coming or not?

SPYRO: Yeah...I'm just too busy staring at 1-Up's hair.

Fun Facts

• This email continues after the end of Hotel.
• CATS is from the game Zero Wing, which is most known for it's really bad english translation. See also All Your Base.
  • "Main screen turn on" is one of the quotes from All your base, which explains CATS appearance.
• The manual is referencing Freeze Ray
• The magic words actions are an obvious reference to the Main Pages.
  • 1-Up on the 20X6 main page gains blue hair when the cursor hovers over store.
• The yellow snake bitting Spyro's nose is from Bananas

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