Conshow/44

Summary

Once upon a time, in a galaxy not very far away in fact.

The following episode may contain spoilers that you may or may not have heard about, you have been warned.

Transcript

{Open to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Hill on Earth, Sirhcnoc is pacing back and forth again with Greg watching}

SIRHCNOC: What are we gonna do, Greg? Xavian said he'll get back in touch with us and it's taking forever!

GREG: I wonder what he's doing right now?

SIRHCNOC: He's probably still talking to that alien.

GREG: Okay... Can you help me fix this Sanity Shifter? I think it's busted.

SIRHCNOC: {pulls out a giant wrench} Sure.

{Sirhcnoc raises his wrench and proceeds to whack the Sanity Shifter}

GREG: Wait... NO!

{Intro}

{Open to the outside of the base, the door opens and Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia walk outside}

CONCHRIS: Right, I hope you're happy that we're going to find a way home!

CRUROAR: Happy?! You're the one sitting in the corner writing strange poems by the candlelight!

CIEEIA: You?! Writing poems? Ha ha ha! That would be fun to read!

CONCHRIS: Hey! I was bored okay!

CRUROAR: Then why were you crying whilst writing it?

{Conchris pauses to think}

CONCHRIS: Shut up!

CRUROAR: What's that? The King of Comebacks failed to comeback? That makes me the King of Comebacks!

CONCHRIS: Your mom's the king of comebacks!

CRUROAR: Argh! That was fun while it lasted.

CIEEIA: Are we going to look for this plausible way or not?

CONCHRIS: Sure. Let's go... after this cutaway.

{Cut to a ship flying in space, Chrionroar and company are trapped in a cage surrounded by forcefields}

ARIA: What are we gonna do?! I don't think I can stay sane anymore!

MR. PERSON: There must be a way out of here!

{Xavian walks in}

XAVIAN: Ah! If it isn't the idiots of Wikity?

ARIA: Idiots?

XAVIAN: I hope you enjoyed your flight. Now that you are trapped in there, I might as well make myself even more evil than I am and tell my grand plan.

CHRIONROAR: You go ahead. We listen. Doesn't matter.

XAVIAN: Ahem. I, Xavian, whom graduated from the School of Villains years ago would like to inform you, the captured heroes, about my grand scheme that I came up with years ago. Ahem. My plan was to create the villain's council, I became leader of the villains and I brought in those whom I thought were necessary for this scheme. Next, Sirhcnoc enslaved an alien race for me to use to take over Earth. Finally, when we receive the legendary "Staff of Life", we will start the take over of Earth, use the Staff and re-populate it with our allies. You and your pathetic mankind will never be able to come back again!

ARIA: Aren't you one of us? Also, what about me?

XAVIAN: You will be exterminated first.

ARIA: Eep.

XAVIAN: Soon, my evilious plan will come to fruition and I, Xavian, will help these creatures become KINGS OF EARTH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

{Xavian walks away with the laughter still echoing}

ARIA: What are we gonna do?

MR. PERSON: We can only wait.

{Cut to the mobile planet, Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia walks along until they bump into a fireplace}

CONCHRIS: A fireplace?! In the middle of nowhere?!

CIEEIA: That's... pretty absurd.

CRUROAR: It looks like an entrance to the world of fairy tales.

{A dragon pokes its head out of the fireplace}

DRAGON: IT SURE IS, {bleep}! {grabs Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia and drags them in}

{The screen slowly fizzles away to a bright green field with a story book style border around it. Anything the characters say or do is mentioned below. Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia suddenly fall in, Conchris gets up and looks around}

CONCHRIS: What the hell? Where are we?

NARRATOR: Said a confused man as he looks around.

CONCHRIS: Is this a dream?

NARRATOR: Another man with a lady then got up and the other man said...

CRUROAR: I think we're in hell.

CONCHRIS: Hell?

NARRATOR: Replied the man.

CONCHRIS: Doesn't look like it.

NARRATOR: The lady opened her mouth to speak but before she could, however, a knight in shining armour rode in on his trusty steed. {zoom in on the knight} It was Prince Awesomeguy, prince of all awesome people everywhere.

CIEEIA: Who in the world are you?!

NARRATOR: The lady asked, in a confused manner.

PRINCE AWESOMEGUY: I am Prince Awesomeguy.

NARRATOR: Said Awesomeguy.

AWESOMEGUY: What is the name of this beauty before me?

NARRATOR: The other man walked up to Awesomeguy and stared angrily at him and said.

CRUROAR: Cieeia. Her name is Cieeia. And if you lay a finger on her...

NARRATOR: But before he could finish the sentence, the man stepped up to the prince and said.

CONCHRIS: Yes, her name is Cieeia of course. My name is Conchris by the way, {points to Cruroar} and this is Cruroar.

NARRATOR: Said Conchris, in an attempt to stop the fighting.

AWESOMEGUY: Nice to meet you two...

NARRATOR: Said the prince with a twinkle in his eye.

AWESOMEGUY: But that lady you brought with you is the most beautiful in the land!

NARRATOR: Cieeia dropped her head and blushed, nobody else other than that one guy ever complimented her in her life.

CRUROAR: Okay!

NARRATOR: Said Cruroar, looking towards us like a crazed lunatic.

CRUROAR: Who keeps narrating?!

NARRATOR: "Why I do" said I, as my pencil slowly draws a moustache on Cruroar, "Got a problem with that?"

CRUROAR: Yeah! I uh... wait... {looks at the moustache} WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!

NARRATOR: The narrator laughed and cried tears of joy at Cruroar's reaction and said, "It was for doubting my narrating skills, young one."

CRUROAR: We need to find a way out of here...

NARRATOR: Said Cruroar, with blood pulsing quicker and quicker each line...

CIEEIA: Agreed.

NARRATOR: Said Cieeia, in an unexpected plot twist.

AWESOMEGUY: I can't just let a beauty like you get away!

NARRATOR: Said the prince, with his teeth sparkling.

AWESOMEGUY: I must marry you immediately!

NARRATOR: So, the prince told his steed to go and he grabbed Cieeia along the way. To the castle in the sky they go. Whilst Cruroar and Conches watches with awe. Conchris turned around and said,

CONCHRIS: We must stop him from marrying her!

NARRATOR: Fists clenched tight.

CRUROAR: For once, I agree with you.

NARRATOR: Said the idiot, with a stupid grin on his face.

CRUROAR: I don't have a stupid grin on my face! I hate this story already...

{Cut to the castle in the sky}

NARRATOR: At the castle in the sky, Conchris and Cruroar runs up the magical stairs of wisdom and end up at the drawbridge of fate. They could hear a crowd inside.

CRUROAR: Can somebody get this guy to shut up?

NARRATOR: Said the biggest moron in the world.

CONCHRIS: Sure. {pulls out a gun and points it at the screen}

NARRATOR: Replied Conchris, lifting out a gun and pointing it at... {Conchris shoots the narrator} ARGH! {a thump is heard}

{The storybook border disappears}

CRUROAR: Thank you! I was getting sick and tired of hearing him talk!

CONCHRIS: Said the biggest dumbest idiot of al- {Cruroar punches him in the face}

{Cut to the base on the mobile planet, Forest is watching TV as Nydara walks in}

NYDARA: Umm... hey there... Forest... Err.... where are the humans?

FOREST: {Tay Zonday's "Chocolate Rain"} (They went outside to die)

NYDARA: Err... thanks...

FOREST: (Can I please watch the new episode of this TV show in peace without blasting someone's brain out?)

NYDARA: Sorry to have bothered you...

{Cut to the inside of the castle in the sky, Cruroar falls in along with Conchris, Cruroar gets up and brushes himself off}

CRUROAR: Well, climbing over to that little hole in the drawbridge wasn't easy.

{A guard quickly runs in}

GUARD: STOP! Who are you people and what do you want?! A wedding of Prince Awesomeguy is about to start! You're welcome to come if you like.

CONCHRIS: Nah, I'm not interested.

CRUROAR: CONCHES!

CONCHRIS: Oh! Yeah, sure.

GUARD: Okay, you may pass. {leans over to Cruroar and stares at him} I'm watching you... {leans away and walks off}

CRUROAR: What did I do?

CONCHRIS: Come on! We got a wedding to crash!

{Cut to the castle hall, Cruroar and Conchris look into the hall to see Prince Awesomeguy dragging Cieeia down the aisle.}

CONCHRIS: I still think that you two are good together.

CRUROAR: Er... thanks, I guess.

MAN: Now, before I can...

{Conchris and Cruroar bashes open the door and stands at the entrance in a fighting stance as upbeat music plays}

CONCHRIS: Stop! We're here to stop Conshow's very first marriage scene!

CRUROAR: Yeah!

MAN: Well, couldn't you wait for like 5 hours? I mean, I have a lot of boring crap that the story book world will cut out anyway.

CONCHRIS: It's a date.

{Cut to a time card reading "5 hours later", it fizzles away to the previous scene, Conchris and Cruroar are now seated}

MAN: There, now with all the really boring crap out of the way. Do you, Mr. Awesomeguy take this...

{Cruroar punches the man in the face, getting collective gasps from the crowd and a box in the lower right pops up reading:}

Badge Unlocked:
Marriage Buster 1
Prevent 1 Marriage

CIEEIA: It's about time you guys showed up!

AWESOMEGUY: DAMN! And I was hoping to get revenge too!

CONCHRIS: Revenge?!

AWESOMEGUY: Yes for it is I... {pulls off the suit to reveal a superhero costume} Captain Awesometon!

CRUROAR: I KNEW IT!

AWESOMETON: You did not!

CRUROAR: Well, I knew that Snape killed Dumbledore, did I?

AWESOMETON: THE SPOILERS! IT BURNS!

{Screaming and cries of agony are heard from the crowd of people}

CIEEIA: Hey! It seems like everyone in the story book world hate spoilers! Tell them more, Crury!

CONCHRIS: Hehehe... Crury.

CRUROAR: Okay! {breathes in and pulls out a very long scroll that fades out of the hall} Voldemort...

{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a hill, Greg is at the computer as Sirhcnoc walks in dragging a giant rectangle like cart behind him}

SIRHCNOC: Greg! I have made... what are you doing?

GREG: Stuff.

SIRHCNOC: Lemme see! {pushes Greg aside to read the computer screen} You're chatting with Nydara?! Who is this person?

GREG: Whatever I chat about is none of your business. Now step aside!

SIRHCNOC: In a chat room of all sorts?

GREG: Shut up! Now get off!

SIRHCNOC: Okay! Fine! Also, I'd like to show you my newest creation!

GREG: It's not another toaster is it?

SIRHCNOC: Uh, no! It's... {pulls off the cloth}

GREG: It's what? You didn't say anything!

SIRHCNOC: Shut up and let me think! {pauses to think} A combat car!

GREG: And how different is it? It's just a bus with several missile launchers attached to it. Does it transform?

SIRHCNOC: No...

GREG: Well, judging by your own incompetence according to Xavian, you will not have the ability to create a droid with A.I. at all.

SIRHCNOC: Sometimes, it makes me wonder why I even hired your race to begin with.

{Cut to the castle hall in the castle in the sky, several people lie dead as Captain Awesometon lies on the floor, in a fetal position sucking his thumb}

CRUROAR: And Tabuu dies. {throws away the scroll} Wow... did I really kill them all?

{Cieeia looks around}

CIEEIA: It seems like it.

CONCHRIS: Who knew that comprehensive list of spoilers will come in handy?

CRUROAR: Well, I sort of did.

CONCHRIS: Stop lying!

CRUROAR: So, how do we get out?

{Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia pauses to think}

CIEEIA: I think I know. {walks up to Cruroar} My hero! {kisses Cruroar on the lips, making him and her blush}

CONCHRIS: Wow, that was pretty soppy to watch.

CRUROAR: Err... is that it?

NARRATOR: And they all lived happily ever after... {The book starts closing}

CONCHRIS: AHH! DON'T SQUASH U-

{The book closes}

NARRATOR: The end.

{Cue credits}