Spyro email/Geneaology

Spyro email #13 - Spyro looks at his Geneaology, and sees a shocking secert.

Cast (in order of appearance): Spyro, Peachy, Person, Librarian, Alpha CT, Drake, Clone 1, Bad Boy, The platnium Poorbt

Places: Theater, Walkway, Library, Spyro's house, Jail Cell.

Computer: Dragon P. 3.0

Date: February 19 2006

Number of lines: 122

Transcript

{Shows Spyro at his computer.}

SPYRO: This WUE is sponsored by Ajax Pictures. {opens email}

{A femur bone with Ajax pictures written in it appears in the middle of the screen and then disappears.}

Relations

Dear Spyro,
Who are you related to,
And what is your Genealogy?

C.C.

SPYRO: Relation? Genealogy? Well lets go over the basics shall we? There is Hunter, my brother.

{A picture of Hunter picking his nose appears in the right corner.}

SPYRO: Hunter, the person whom nobody mistakes for a cheetah, except me.

{The Hunter picture turns into a picture of Sarah.}

SPYRO: Then there is the new Sarah. Sisters with Sheldon, the guy who everyone thought was a Bad Guy working at Gad Buy. I mean, Best Buy.

{Zooms out showing Peachy walking on-screen.}

PEACHY: Dude your boring the audience out.

SPYRO: What audience?

{Zooms more out showing that Spyro's room is in a theater with a live audience.}

PEACHY: {pointing out} That audience.

SPYRO: {looking out} Wait, how come I didn't get a script?

PEACHY: You did! {holds up a paper} See?

{Cuts to the paper saying "read email, then go to library." Then cuts back to Spyro.}

SPYRO: Oh, well, I guess I should take this somewhere else. {singing} Goooood niiiiiiiiiiiiggghhht.

{As Spyro sings that, he slowly is elevated down by a trapdoor. Then after 7 seconds, he falls down.}

PEACHY: {nervously} Umm, we have some...technical difficulties. Our actor...is...Constipated. Yeah, has been on the bowl for hours. {scratching head} So... {stops scratching} You know what, there's a bomb in here. And if you wait to long, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering why my hair is highlighted and there was no writing utensil involved. So I'm leaving in a safari Humvee. {in a terminator voice.} Pasta and Pizza, baby.

{A safari Humvee drives on-screen, Peachy goes in, and the Humvee drives away. Then cuts to Spyro walking in SBMRPUSA (Strong Bad's Mount Rides Place USA).}

SPYRO: Hmm, the library. Why would the library be in here anyways? Maybe because of the scary lions at the railings? Yeah, then it would be at the spook fest!

{Peachy Leans on-screen}

PEACHY: To the library!

{A Homestar Jr. Tansition scene plays, then cuts to Spyro standing outside of a library.}

SPYRO: Well here I am. The library.{pause} I think I need another transition scene.

{Another Homestar Jr. Transition scene is played. Then cuts to Spyro walking through a library with the camera following him.}

SPYRO: Hmm, this isn't so bad once you can stand the 2nd degree burns of walking.

{The camera stops following and focuses on the people in the backround.}

PERSON: Heres my book I checked out. {hands a book to the librarian}

LIBRARIAN: Oooh sorry, This book is .1 nano-second late. You need at least .01 nano seconds to not be ejected.

{The librarian presses a button opening a trapdoor under the person. Then cuts to Spyro walking down the middle of 2 bookshelves.}

SPYRO: Hmm, I think I need to look for the Genealogy books. I'm pretty sure it would be under this Aisle. {noticing a book} Ah! Here we are! The-

{Someone off-screen starts screaming louder than Spyro. Spyro just continues talking.}

PERSON: {off-screen} NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I NEED THIS BOOK! NOOOOOO! {He gets ejected}

SPYRO: {continuing}...Heritage book.

{He takes a book. Then cuts to a table where Spyro puts the book down. Alpha CT is reading across from him.}

SPYRO: Hey, Alpha CT. We haven't seen you since the house explosion episode.

ALPHA CT: Well, I had an emergency. Unfortunately, Drake picked up the phone and...

{Cuts to Drake at the phone}

DRAKE: {to the phone} Hello?

ALHPA CT: {on the phone} Hey Drake. Listen I got an emergency. Can you pick me up at-

DRAKE: {interupting} Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah. You didn't get lost and broke my car did you?

ALPHA CT: {on the phone} No, I-

DRAKE: Don't "No, I" Me. I know that fake tone when I smell it.

ALPHA CT: Thats a Non-Sequitor. Now listen, I-

DRAKE: {interrupting} Your a Non-Sequitor! That car cost me 5 googolplexes.

ALPHA CT: Who on earth would buy such a car? And I don't have a license, so I don't know why you-

DRAKE: People on mars would buy it! {angrily} Now go away. {hangs up.} Jeeze.

{Cuts to Alpha CT in a jail cell with his clones.}

ALPHA CT: To Bad we only get one call.

CLONE 1: Don't call them again.

{Cuts back to Spyro and Alpha CT.}

ALPHA CT: ...And thats what happened.

SPYRO: What? You didn't tell me anything. You just said "Drake picked up the phone and thats what happened"

ALPHA CT: Oh. I could of sworn I was taking in that flashback.

SPYRO: So, Why are you here coincidentally where I am now.

ALPHA CT: I'm looking at my own Genealogy book. Check it out! {holds up a thin book.}

SPYRO: {flipping through the pages} Uhhh, all of these are just of you. Since when do they publish books on you?

ALPHA CT: I have no idea. I just saw it on the shelf.

SPYRO: Oh. I'm gonna read mine now. {opens book.} Hmm, I'm in it. Good. It's recent. Now time to find who my reletives are. {turns page.} Hmm, I seem to be related to some people named Ben DuckSoundingCompany, Lance StrongBiceps, and Britney Javelin. Wonder who those people are. And we look at their parents, showing that they are named Chad blank, and Insert own first and last name here.

ALPHA CT: Hmm, those people first 3 names sound pretty suspicious.

SPYRO: No they don't. I don't remember their names from anywhere. Now lets see the other side of- {realizing something} Wait a minute.

{Cuts to an angle showing the back of Spyro's head and the book. Zooms in fastly into the mothers picture showing that the mother is Sarah. Then zooms back out}

SPYRO: Holy Crap! Then that must mean-

{He turns the page quickly. The page has Spyro and Hunter at the bottom, and pans up zooming in quickly to the Dad. It's Bad Boy.}

SPYRO: {shocked} Plot Twist! Plot twist! Plot Twist!

{Zooms out showing Alpha Playing Bop-It and is listening to what Spyro is saying.}

ALPHA CT: You know, there is a Bop, and pull.

SPYRO: Are you even paying attention?

ALPHA CT: No. I was playing Bop-It when it ran out of batteries. So I started listening to your commands. Your easy.

{Spyro holds up the book to Alpha.}

ALPHA CT: So?

SPYRO: So, If he is my father, then why is he here in the future?

ALPHA CT: Dude, where were you the past season? Have you ever noticed everyone else's design? Yep. They're from 2006.

SPYRO: Why are they here?

ALPHA CT: No idea.

SPYRO: Well, time to go home and ask.

{Spyro goes up to the Librarians desk.}

SPYRO: I returned this late.

{The librarian presses a button launching the tile under Spyro rocketing through the ceiling out of the library. Cuts to a Spyro in the air, and then he get out and launches the grapple grabbing something and swinging him. Cuts to a Spyro's window. Spyro slowly swings him at the window.}

SPYRO: {hardly audible} And through the stunt sugar glass window. Yaaaaaaaaah-

{Spyro hits the window instead of Crashing through it. Spyro then starts licking it causing him to eat through the window, and falling on the floor}

SPYRO: Mmmm, delicious.

{Cuts to Spyro walking up to Bad Boy.}

SPYRO: Hey, I have to talk to you man.

BAD BOY: Why? The play?

SPYRO: No. Where did you come from?

BAD BOY: 20X6. Why?

SPYRO: I know a lying tone when I smell one.

BAD BOY: No you don't. Neither does Drake. Are you brothers?

SPYRO: Are you a dad?

BAD BOY: What? No!

SPYRO: Then how do explain this! {holds up the Spyro's Genealogy book to Bad Boys face.}

BAD BOY: Thats fake. They're parodying 3 celebrities. And if you were related, then you would be famous. Or everyone would think that.

SPYRO: Oh. Whose is this book by?

{Cuts to the cover of the book.}

BAD BOY: {reading the author off-screen} By The P.P.

SPYRO: Hehehehe, you said PeePee

BAD BOY: Hmm, The P.P. Very familiar. But why would they want to make a fake book?

{Cuts to Spyro's room. The Platnium Poorbt materializes out of nowhere}

PLATNIUM POORBT: Hehehe. Plan C is going perfect. Now I just need to stay here until the timing is right!

{Fades to black. The paper then comes down.}

Fun Facts

Explanation

• A googolplexe is the number equal to the numeral 1 followed by 10100 zeros.

Real World References

• The 3 names were parodies of famous people. Can you guess?
• Ajax Pictures is Spyrox6 made up company
• "Pasta and Pizza, baby" Is an obvious parody on the Terminator.
• "...And thats what happened" and the person didn't say anything is a reference to Family Guy where Peter sits down and says "And thats my plan." after a radial transition scene
• Bop-it is a game where you have to follow what the machine says to do either Bop-It where you hit the center, twist-it where you twist the side, and Pull-it where you pull the end

Rating

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