(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/TheWorld'sGreatest
NOXIGAR: Aagh! What is this image and why will it haunt my dreams tonight?!
And by greatest I mean "most curmedgeonly"
NOXIGAR: Wait so this is promising The World's Greatest to be "The World's Most Sourpussly."
NOXIGAR: 'Cause curmudgeon is the correct spelling, and curmudgeon essentially means bad-tempered, difficult, or cantankerous.
NOXIGAR: I'm going to surmise this is par for the course in regards to Strong Intelligent's mannerisms in regards to me. After all, he was hesitant about me riffing his thing when I suggested it to myself and he doesn't really like a majority of my riffs. I can't blame him, personally, as a few are somewhat mediocre due to the source material being that bad (see: GAME 1 - I'm never going to finish that because GAME 1 is too boring to riff).
THEME SONG: "Oooooh, I'm a snaaake, and I'm here to tell you my secrets!"
NOXIGAR: I'd like to hear those secrets over some tea.
THE SHOW
This show is about Quint, a koala bear and his talking helicopter friend called Henry.
NOXIGAR: This is a premise that sounds promising.However, it is only pronounced "HENRAHHHHGH". Every episode is simply Quint and Henry's journey from Andorra to Maine, which takes several years.
NOXIGAR: Pray tell, where is Andorra?
EPISODES
NOXIGAR: Uh, shouldn't "A New Hope" be what Episode 4 is called?
- Episode four: Bananarama
- Episode five: Quint's baby
- Episode six: A Very Special Episode of The World's Greatest
NOXIGAR: It doesn't seem that special, to be honest.
- Episode seven: This episode sucks balls
- Episode eight: Quint and Henry and Poochie
- Episode nine: TWG SMACKDOWN!
- Episode ten: The Return of the King
- Episode Eleven: The World's Greatest U
NOXIGAR: So... it's like an HD version of your previous system?
- Episode Twelve: Season Finale
- Episode Thirteen: The One where the title is similar to a Friend's episode
NOXIGAR: Despite my positive memories of Friends, I wouldn't want this to be similar to that show in episode quality.
- Episode Fourteen: My Theme Naming
- Episode Fifteen: Dead Man's Chest (I assure you the undertaker's pecs are very attractive)
NOXIGAR: I fixed that parentheses which would otherwise be missing. Also, I don't really care that much about the Undertaker and don't find anybody's pecs attractive.
- Episode Sixteen: Super The World's Greatest Bros.
- Episode Seventeen: Ocarina of Time
- Episode Eighteen: The World's Greatest 2 Turbo HD edition
NOXIGAR: I hope the episode's longer than The World's Greatest 2. I don't think I ever got the Turbo expansion.
- Episode nineteen: With Special Guest
- Episode Twenty: On Ice!
- Episode Twenty-one: On Fire!
- Episode Twenty-two: The White Episode
NOXIGAR: I'm not sure why Episode 22 isn't called "On Water!" since that's what you'd get when you mix ice and enough heat to melt it.
- Episode Twenty-three: i don't know, cats or something
- Episode Twenty-four: Simon Sullivan's Silky Book
- Episode Twenty-five: A title that has something to do with the episode
NOXIGAR: As far as I can tell, none of these titles have anything to do with the episodes they correspond with.
- Episode Twenty-six: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- Episode Twenty-seven: Franz Kafka's Koala
- Episode Twenty-eight: Episode the twenty-eigth: The Hellish Helicopter
- Episode Twenty-nine: Words and the like
- Episode Thirty: 6 to the power of 9
NOXIGAR: For StroHersh's sake I'll pretend this wasn't a shitty "sixty-nine" joke.
NOXIGAR: Ooh, I wonder how gritty it'll be?!
- Episode Thirty-three: The Musical
- Episode Thirty-four: Inception
- Episode Thirty-five: A steaming pile of dump
NOXIGAR: That's what every episode of The World's Greatest is, though. Especially Episode Nineteen or whatever.
- Episode Thirty-six: Cereal Baby
- Episode Thirty-six point five: Intermission
- Episode Thirty-seven: For real this time
{Short pause}
NOXIGAR: No, fuck this. Fuck this with a rake.
NOXIGAR: Unfortunately this is not anywhere near as funny. And I guess I should be content with ceasing my riffs 'cause I was starting to piss Sirrus off with trying to make fun of this crap and attempting to be able to do it well. I'm about as affable and exciting as watching paint dry, and that's why I piss people off. It's not a matter of if I piss someone off, but a matter of when due to how obnoxious my simple existence is.
NOXIGAR: Congratulations, Strong Intelligent. Your writing has managed to break me within thirty-seven episodes. After a while, it was like I was speaking a completely different language than what was being given as the script. So I tried riffing it in French for the last few episodes, only to realize that isn't funny either.
NOXIGAR: I am already a defeatist person by nature, and the horribleness of The World's Greatest is already something which is antithetical to the kind of humor I'm used to.
NOXIGAR: Normally, I'd be content with lolrandom. After all, most of Psychedelic Eyeball's Lets Plays and YouTube Poops in general are the stuff pure unadulterated chaos thrives in.
nah
nah
NOXIGAR: What's the point of this? To be salty at me? Well, good job. You win. You win at making riffs cease for at least a few good months.
NOXIGAR: How the fuck does someone make something so bad that it makes me ragequit? How? Even The Choom Gang failed to do just that, and they came close due to how half-assed a majority of their later riffs on things were in MFT3K. I actually skipped several segments of things in MFT3K due to either the half-assery or simple incompleteness on their part which'd make my riffs of their riffs instantly unfunny. My entire basis for riffing Aruseus Emails was taking advantage of the fact MFT3K halted completely by now.
NOXIGAR: I guess I won't be riffing Lex and Ben's Adventures in The United States, either. What with my immediate hiatus from riffing.
{Short pause.}
