RiffText/TheWorld'sGreatest/The World's Greatest/5

Dark days are upon us.

NOXIGAR: That'd be an improvement from the last four episodes, I can assure you.

Transcript

{Open to Quint and Henry}

QUINT: And then he was all like "Dude. That's not funny. Seriously. Why would you do that. You've just destroyed my life. WHY!? WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU KILL HER?! WHYYYYY!? OH GOD. OH GOOOOD. IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT FAAAIIIIR. I CAN'T DO IT-TAKE IT. SORRY. SORRY EVERYONE."

NOXIGAR: Dude. This is not funny. Seriously. Why would you do that?! You've just made me waste two minutes wondering what the punchline for this was. WHY?! WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU TELL A STORY WITHOUT ANY CONTEXTUALIZATION?! WHYYYYYYYY?! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

{Quint pulls out a gun and shoots himself}

HENRY: Whoah, seriously? What an idiot.

NOXIGAR: "That's what I would say if I didn't shoot myself!"

{Quint is REVIIIIIIVED}

QUINT: I know, right?

{Noxigar sighs}

{Quint stares unblinkingly at the camera. He then proceeds to talk in a monotone voice}

QUINT: Hah. Ha ha hah. Ha ha ha ha hah heh ha.

NOXIGAR: What's the point of this?

{Pause}

NOXIGAR: Are these pauses really necessary?

QUINT: LAUGH!

NOXIGAR: I WILL BREAK FREE FROM THE OPPRESSIVE ROAD! I AM MY OWN MAN! {refuses to laugh}

{End}