RiffText/TheWorld'sGreatest/The World's Greatest/28

Henry strikes it B-I-G.

NOXIGAR: No one in The World's Greatests strikes it big. No one.

Transcript

{Open to the two}

QUINT: Hey, do you ever feel pangs of attraction to the confused.com lady?

NOXIGAR: Who the hell is the confused.com lady?

HENRY: Uh, no, why?

QUINT: No reason. I don't either. Prrph, why would I? She's a cartoon!

NOXIGAR: Oh. Well, there's context for once.

HENRY: Hm, that is a curiously specific denial.

{Cut to a dark room. In the centre of the room, there is a desk. Sat at the desk,

NOXIGAR: Sat on the desk

is Quint. He is staring at a computer monitor, his eyes widened and glazed over.

NOXIGAR: I didn't know eyes could be both widened and glazed over. Tell me more, Strong Intelligent.

Now, cut to behind Quint, where we can see he is watching the confused.com YMCA advert with the sound muted.

NOXIGAR: {Now, cut to behind Noxigar, where we can see he is confused by the barrage of prepositions flung without commas or semi-colons to ensure the sentence isn't a run-on.}

The video plays to about half-way through, when suddenly Henry's voice is heard, along with the sound of a door opening.}

NOXIGAR: I don't understand why anyone would play a video with the sound muted of all things wrong with what Quint's doing.

HENRY: QUINT!

{Cut to the original shot. Henry is in the room, lit from behind by a brilliant white lite,

NOXIGAR: light

seen coming out of a door.}

QUINT: Yeah?

HENRY: What were you were doing watching the confused.com video, which I could somehow tell that you watching even though the monitor was facing away from me and you had the sound off?

NOXIGAR: Could we at least be shown how Quint positioned his PC instead of told how?

QUINT: I was just watching it because it was funny.

HENRY: Oh. Fair enough. I'll leave you too your business.

NOXIGAR: That sounds suspiciously like a "pff okay whatever" to me.

{Henry leaves the room, the door shutting behind him. Cut back to Quint looking at the screen. The video plays out and he laughs at the end, before shutting his PC off, yawning, and falling to sleep. Cut to Henry, without Quint. Henry comes out a door from the back of Henry.}

HENRY: Hey man.

HENRY: Hey.

{Noxigar leaves his personal theatre, the door shutting behind him. Noxigar then comes out another door from the back of himself.}

NOXIGAR: Hey man.
{Noxigar does a spit take.}
NOXIGAR: How is this possible?
NOXIGAR: I dunno. All I do know is the gloves are in the shed.

{Noxigar continues through a door until he reaches one which restores his sanity.}

{End}