Conshow/28

Summary

Chrionroar gets a map off of eDay and forces his friends into looking for the grail, despite their objections.

Transcript

{Open to Conchris' House - Living Room, Cruroar and Cieeia are watching TV}

NARRATOR: {TV} On the last time of Forum Drama...

R3ALGILR£3212: Prettyboi312, I have something to tell you.

PRETTYBOI312: What?

R3ALGILR£3212: I'm actually a man!

PRETTYBOI312: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

{Conchris slowly slides up from behind the couch}

CONCHRIS: What are you two watching?

CRUROAR: Oh, just some forum drama. It seriously went down hill now that L33tboy232 died a painful death.

CIEEIA: Yeah, killing off characters is no fun!

CONCHRIS: {thinking} DAMN! No romantic tension! What if they already said what they wanted to say off-screen? Quick, say something! {speaking} Pickle. {thinking} Smooth move, there.

CRUROAR: Uh, we can hear your thoughts you know, they echo.

CONCHRIS: DAMN! Did you?

CRUROAR: Yep.

CONCHRIS: DAMN DAMN!

CIEEIA: What? Did you make a bet or something?

CONCHRIS: No, I was hoping for that subplot to last like ten times longer, like, 120 episodes longer.

{Cruroar and Cieeia start laughing}

CRUROAR: The writer is not doing 120 more episodes. Now begone!

{Cruroar pushes a button on the remote and Conchris' head explodes}

CIEEIA: Oh, so THAT'S what's the red button is for!

CRUROAR: Can we get the intro going? This is the longest pre-intro opening ever.

{Cue introduction}

{Open to Conchris' House - Basement, Chrionroar is smacking the keyboard of his computer}

CHRIONROAR: I ARE SEARCHING THAR INTARWEBS!

{A website comes up called "eDay", on the page is a map being auctioned}

CHRIONROAR: AWESOME! MAPS MAKE MY DIET MORE PROFECIENTS!

{Chrionroar starts pushing random numbers}

{Cut to Conchris' House - Main Hall, the doorbell rings and Cruroar answers it}

CRUROAR: {tired} No, I'm not buying your stupid crap...

MAILMAN: What? Anyway, we have a delivery to a Mister... Fsahfdjg? What the hell kind of surname is that?

CRUROAR: {tired} Well, I can take it for him.

MAILMAN: Sure, just take the box and... {hands Cruroar a board} sign this.

{Cruroar signs the board and hands it back to the mailman}

MAILMAN: Thank you very much, Mr. Goodwin! See you later.

{Cruroar closes the door}

CRUROAR: OKAY! WHO IS MISTER... F-SAH-FUDGE-GUH?!

{Chrionroar suddenly flies in and grabs the box with his mouth, he then flies off into the living room, Conchris suddenly appears behind Cruroar}

CONCHRIS: Ha ha! Your surname is Goodwin!

CRUROAR: So? What's that supposed to mean with anything?

CONCHRIS: That means I can make terrible puns off of it to despair the viewers!

CRUROAR: Well, for the sake of me and the viewers, don't.

CONCHRIS: GOOD-

{Cruroar grabs some duct tape and tapes Conchris' mouth shut}

CONCHRIS: Mmph? Mm! Mmmpfh! (What the? Ah! My mouth is taped shut!)

CRUROAR: Wonder what's inside of that box.

CONCHRIS: Mmph Mmpfh Mm. (Your mother.)

CRUROAR: Sorry, I don't speak idiot.

{Chrionroar pulls out a map out of the box}

CHRIONROAR: IT'S TEH MAP! WHERE DOES I WISH TO GO?

CONCHRIS: Mm. (Huh?)

CRUROAR: It's a map... to what?

CHRIONROAR: I HAS TEH SOLUTIONS!

{Chrionroar throws himself into the basement and shuffles around to find stuff, several hats, spades and backpacks fly out, Chrionroar comes out wearing a cone on his head with a oddly shaped spade}

CRUROAR: That's the solution? Ha! I could think of a better one!

{Timeswipe to Wikity Stadium, there are several holes already dug, Chrionroar is eating the dirt to dig a hole}

CRUROAR: Okay... SINCE WHEN WAS IT BURIED HERE?!

CONCHRIS: Ever since your face was buried!

CRUROAR: How'd you?

CONCHRIS: I have powers to tear off duct tape.

CRUROAR: I wish I can kill you right now.

CIEEIA: Save your anger for another episode!

CRUROAR: Nngh... grr.... GRAGH! {jumps on Conchris, the scene statics out to Chrionroar chewing on tapes with the words "Technical Difficulties" as music plays in the background}

NARRATOR: {voiceover} Sorry for the inconvenience!

{The scene changes back to Wikity Stadium, Cruroar is cowering behind Cieeia and Conchris is brutally beaten}

CIEEIA: Stop it you two!

CONCHRIS: He started it!

CRUROAR: Well, maybe you should finish it!

CIEEIA: Guys! Guys! Quiet! Say sorry.

CONCHRIS: Fine! Sorry! Okay, HAPPY NOW?!

CIEEIA: Uh, yes?

CRUROAR: I knew you would come through!

CONCHRIS: Wait... who are they?

{Cut to the entrance of Wikity Stadium, several people are standing near it}

CONCHRIS: Hello? Who is it?

FRENCH PERSON: Pardon me, sir. But you seem to be uh-huh tréspassong on our excavation.

CONCHRIS: So? Nobody cares.

{Chrionroar pulls out a grail}

CHRIONROAR: I HAS A GRAIL!

FRENCH PERSON: {somehow with a normal voice} He's got our grail! GET HIM!

{The people start charging at Chrionroar and take the grail, a plane suddenly flies in and a man in a suit jumps out and takes the grail, it flies off}

FRENCH PERSON: Damn it.

CONCHRIS: That'll teach you to be stereotypically French!

CRUROAR: Yeah!

FRENCH PERSON: Oh yeah? We'll a kick your butt. Uh-huh.

CIEEIA: WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE F-

{The screen statics again back to the technical difficulties scene}

NARRATOR: {voiceover} Due to the fact that the characters aren't co-operating well, we leave you this rather plain ending.

{Cut to the Writer's home in Wiki User City, he walks a few steps before a carrot falls from the ceiling}

WRITER: Is that it?

{Pause, a killer rabbit hops on screen and starts mutilating the Writer}

{Cue credits}

{Cut to Wikity Stadium, the french people are gone and Conchris and Cruroar are staring in awe}

CRUROAR: Wow, I never knew Cieeia had such a temper.

CONCHRIS: Remind me never to annoy another girl in existance.

{Cieeia walks in clutching her head}

CIEEIA: Ooh... my head. What happened?

CRUROAR: You somehow set the stadium on fire and started bashing skulls in.

CIEEIA: I did? I don't remember doing something like that.

CONCHRIS: So, who's going to bet that this will be non-canon?

{Conchris puts his hand up}

CONCHRIS: What?

CRUROAR: THIS EPISODE WILL BE CANON!

CIEEIA: YEAH! TAKE THIS!

{Cruroar and Cieeia close in on Conchris and pummel him}

{Cut to a black screen with the word "END" on it}

CONCHRIS: {voice} Ow...