Conshow/26

Summary

Conchris and company try to adjust their lives to act like villains, but they fail miserably. What happens?

As a reminder as to who is who:

• Fancy Top Hat Guy - Conchris
• Steve - Cruroar
• Aieeic - Cieeia (And if you didn't see this coming, go buy some eye drops.)
• Not-So-Awesomeboy - Chrionroar
• Forest is obvious

Transcript

{Open to the Blood Fountain}

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Hey, dude!

VILLAIN: Dude? That isn't very fancy of you!

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Oh sorry. Excuse me, kind sir. I'm new here to this villainry and I want you to explain the basics to me.

VILLAIN: Why yes indeed, sir. All you need to do is plan plots that will cause greif and misery for the heroes. Also, make sure that there is also an obvious weak point on your robot if you plan to build one, maybe the obviousness can melt heroes faces off.

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: That sounds quite interesting! Cheerio!

VILLAIN: Later...

{Cue introduction}

{Open to Fancy Top Hat Guy's Lair - Main Hall, Forest comes in with a cloak}

STEVE: Forest, where'd you get that cloak?

FOREST: I stole it, because the guy who was selling it is of the moronic variety.

STEVE: Do you think that it's right to steal from other villains?

FOREST: Who the hell cares? Besides, they're going to find out sooner or later!

STEVE: You can't be the voice of reasoning around here!

AIEEIC: Yeah! Only I can!

FOREST: You two lovebirds shut up!

STEVE: STOP GOING ON ABOUT THAT!

FOREST: Cruroar and Cieeia, sitting in a tree... {mutters the rest under her breath}

STEVE: I swear, if it wasn't against the code, I'd kill you!

FOREST: Just you try!

{Fancy Top Hat Guy comes out of nowhere}

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: What's that about a code?

STEVE: Well, the code states that you can't hurt friendly villains without a proper permit.

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Sounds like villainry to me.

STEVE: THIS VILLAGE IS ABOUT VILLAINRY!

{An T.V drops out of nowhere and turns on, revealing...}

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Xavian?

AIEEIC: Xavian?

STEVE: Xavian.

XAVIAN: Good job men. By bribing the mayor of Wikity, we have finally removed Conchris and his band of idiots out of town! But only one remains... we need to find this man... {holds up a picture of Mr. Person} Mr. Person!

{Record scratch}

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Mr. Person?

XAVIAN: We have intel that he was last seen in Wikity's town square. The first villain to bring him back alive will be rewarded richly.

{The T.V reels back up as it turns off}

STEVE: Mr. Person? That guy?

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Well, we can't use our original identities in Wikity. Good thing we aren't known villains...

{Cut to the town square, a man is reading a newspaper as a boy on a skateboard flies by, stopping to look at the newspaper}

MAN: What is it?

SKATER: What are you reading, man?

MAN: I'm reading an article on wanted villains. Apparently, they have a bounty on Fancy Top Hat Guy, Steve, Aieeic, Not-So-Awesomeboy and Forest.

SKATER: Eh, they'll find them. {skates off}

{Cut to the borders of Wikity}

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Right, we need to find Mr. Person and fast. So, how about we go about it?

FOREST: I say we should split into groups of 3 and 2 and then search the city for that Mr. Person.

STEVE: Did he even appear in the past season?

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Well, he did appear twice in Season one, but he didn't make much of an appearance in Season two.

AIEEIC: Can we stop resciminising about this show's seasons for ONE second and think about the split-up?

FANCY TOP HAT GUY: Yeah, yeah. How about you two go alone. It's about time you two got some character development on... or don't, I don't care... {pulls out a piece of paper that reads "Fanfic by Conchris" and looks sad} I don't care...

STEVE: Fine! Whatever! As long as this doesn't develop into a neverending subplot and cause a lot of unnecessary tension.

AIEEIC: Don't worry. I'll make sure it won't happen!

FOREST: Why don't you two shut up and get the search on! Damn it...

STEVE: Fine! Let's go, Cieeia.

{Steve and Aieeic walk off, cue montage music}

{Cut to Wikity's town square, Steve and Aieeic try their best to look like they're not villains with success, they look about to find Mr. Person with no luck.}

{Cut to Wikity Mall, Steve looks around in the shops whilst Aieeic is looking around in the food court, they fail to find Mr. Person}

{Cut to Wikity Stadium - Entrance, Mr. Person is standing in line with Clark manning the booth}

CLARK: {thinking} Fools! Only fools tell me to sell tickets! Soon, I WILL be the one who asks for tickets. Not them! Ha ha ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA...

'MR. PERSON: Excuse me, but are you giving me a ticket or not?

CLARK: Sure, here you go.

{Steve and Aieeic jump onto the scene}

STEVE: Mr. Person, I presume?

MR. PERSON: GASP! It's Steve and Aieeic!

STEVE: Woah! Keep your voice down! {whipsering} We're not actually here to capture you...

MR. PERSON: Then who are you?

STEVE: Shh! {whispering} I'm actually Cruroar in disguise. The mayor kicked us out of Wikity for being idiotic!

MR. PERSON: {whispering} WHAT?! Cruroar?! You a villain?

CRUROAR: I'm pretending! I can't let the other villains know that! Or we'll have no place to go!

CLARK: What are we talking about again?

CRUROAR: Sirhcnoc?!

CLARK: So, you, Steve, are Cruroar?

{Collective gasps can be heard from the people in line}

CRUROAR: Yeah! What are YOU going to do about it?

CLARK: He he he. I'm going to tell the Villain's council on you...

VOICE: There's no need.

{Cut to a group of villains standing in a line}

VILLAIN #1: You know what we do to spies, right?

CRUROAR: No.

VILLAIN #2: WE CRUSH THEM!

{The three villains charge at Cruroar and try to bash him but he jumps up and blasts Villain #1 with the solar gun}

VILLAIN #2: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR FRIEND? HELP US!

AIEEIC: NO!

{Aieeic charges at Villain #2 and kicks him in the crotch, he doubles over in pain}

VILLAIN #2: ARG! THE PAIN!

VILLAIN #3: YOU TRAITOR!

AIEEIC: So what? Cieeia is here to stay!

VILLAIN #3: GAH!

{Cieeia grabs Villain #3 and throws him into the booth, crushing Clark}

CLARK: Pain...

MAN: Those two are wanted by law! GET THEM!

{Cruroar and Cieeia run off with Mr. Person and the people who were in line following, Mr. Person catches up with them}

CRUROAR: Mr. Person? You aren't trying to catch us?

MR. PERSON: No, but I don't know what the mayor is up to. But if he kicked you two out for a stupid reason then something is up...

CIEEIA: I bet the mayor is actually a robot in disguise.

CRUROAR: My money's on evil villain.

MR. PERSON: You won't be betting anything until we get into the town hall! Say, where are the others anyway?

CRUROAR: Well...

{Cut to Wikity Jail, Conchris, Chrionroar and Forest are locked inside}

CONCHRIS: Whoever said that we were wanted villains?

FOREST: Maybe it's because of the way you acted and that we are outlaws. Does that answer your stupid question?

CONCHRIS: NO!

CHRIONROAR: I HAS SPOON! WILL DIG!

{Chrionroar starts digging with the spoon, he ends up outside the jail, alarms start sounding}

CONCHRIS: Come on! Let's go!

{Conchris and Forest follow the hole out and run off in different directions, Officer Generic shows up in a police car}

OFFICER GENERIC: GET THEM!

{Several police officers surround Conchris and Forest}

CONCHRIS: We have no choice now...

FOREST: Let's roll!

{Conchris and Forest go separate ways, Conchris pulls out his laser blade and knocks three officers off their feet, two grabs him and he kicks one of them in the crotch before throwing the other over his shoulder}

{Forest's left hand turns into an arm cannon and she blasts some of the officers away before they reach her, they try to grab her but she shocks them using an electric shocker attachment, making them fall to the floor}

OFFICER GENERIC: Enough! Now it's my turn!

CONCHRIS: The mayor is abusing his power! Listen to me!

OFFICER GENERIC: Abusing?! To me, he's only paying MY WAGES! NOW DIE!

{Officer Generic runs up to Conchris, who touches him. He then falls over}

OFFICER GENERIC: GAH! MY WEAKNESS!

FOREST: Gee, he sure does hire useless henchmen such as yourself.

OFFICER GENERIC: I'm not useless.

FOREST: You know what? You don't even deserve my wrath, I might as well let the world know about your pitiful failure.

CONCHRIS: Forest showing mercy?! That can't be right!

FOREST: You tell anyone and I will be sure that your next day alive will also be your last!

CONCHRIS: Okay! Sheesh! Let's just go to the city hall...

{Cut to the city hall, the door flies open to reveal Cruroar, Cieeia and Mr. Person. The mayor is standing on top of the stairs}

MAYOR: Agents! GET THEM!

{Several agents surround Cruroar, Cieeia and Mr. Person}

CRUROAR: Let's do this!

{Cruroar pulls out his solar gun and starts firing at the agents}

CIEEIA: You'll regret this!

{Cieeia throws the pipe like a boomerang, it hits several agents and comes back, Cieeia then grabs it and clonks the one behind her}

MR. PERSON: REVENGE!

{Mr. Person grabs a few agents and throws them at the bottom of the stairs}

MAYOR: DAMN!

{Conchris and Forest burst in}

CONCHRIS: We're here to get revenge!

VOICE: Can't let you do that, Conchris.

{Cut to the top of the stairs, Sirhcnoc and Greg fly in and Xavian comes in through a hell-like portal}

CONCHRIS: Sirhcnoc and Xavian?! Working together?!

SIRHCNOC: We settled our differences!

XAVIAN: Yeah!

CIEEIA: I thought you died in Episode 20!

XAVIAN: That was a generic clone I made!

CONCHRIS: So, we have to fight you three?

XAVIAN: Yes. HAVE AT YOU!

{Xavian rides down the stairs and jumps in front of Cruroar and Cieeia}

XAVIAN: Cieeia. Long time no see.

CRUROAR: You KNOW HIM?!

CIEEIA: I'll tell you later!

{Xavian grabs Cieeia and tries to throw her at the wall but she reverses the grab and throws him down on the floor, Cruroar shoots several shots from his solar gun, severely burning Xavian. Xavian gets up, grasping his burns}

XAVIAN: Damn. I wasn't expecting you two to co-operate so well... Might as well leave because I'll get beat.

{Xavian teleports out, Megaman style}

SIRHCNOC: DAMN! DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF!

CONCHRIS: YOU SEEM TO HAVE WANDERING CAPS LOCK SYNDROME, HERE, LET ME PUNCH IT OUT OF YOU!

{Conchris jumps off Forest and punches Sirhcnoc in the face, he flies into the next room and gets up. Sirhcnoc jumps up whilst Conchris is trying to strike him and kicks him down, Forest throws Chrionroar at Sirhcnoc, knocking him down}

CHRIONROAR: I'm a brick!

SIRHCNOC: Urgh... Greg! Help!

{Greg jumps onto Forest's head and starts gnawing at her. Forest grabs Greg and kicks him up into the ceiling}

GREG: More pain...

FOREST: {points at the Mayor} You're next!

{The Mayor hesistates and pushes a button, making an escape pod pull up}

MAYOR: You can't get me if I escape!

CONCHRIS: Yeah but there will be another mayor in charge...

MAYOR: DAMN IT!

{The mayor tries not to fall into the pod but he falls in anyway and it blasts off}

MAYOR: I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET! {fades off into the distance}

CHRIONROAR: JUSTIN WINS!

{A banner flies down reading "Everybody wins!"}

CIVILIANS: Yay! Woo! Yay!

CONCHRIS: Well, this is one screwed up episode...

CRUROAR: Say, Cieeia. You say that you know him, right?

CIEEIA: Well...

{The screen freezes}

NARRATOR: {voice} Why does Cieeia know about Xavian? Only YOU can speculate about this! Also, is Cieeia falling for Cruroar? Find out in the later episodes of the Conshow!

CONCHRIS: {voice} That sounds about right, I can't wait to see people speculate and find out that they're totally wrong! Nehehehehe...

{Cue credits}

{Cut to a black screen with the word "END" on it}