Conshow/24

Summary

Conchris and Cruroar gets kidnapped by robots. Their chance of freedom? A game of rugby, or football.

Transcript

{Open to the streets}

CRUROAR: This show had a craptacular start in Season 3...

CONCHRIS: No it didn't.

CRUROAR: Yes, it did. It overloaded the show with video game references.

CONCHRIS: How about your face? Is it overloaded yet?

CRUROAR: Wait, what?

{Conchris pulls out some dynamite and plants it on Cruroar's back, he then runs away}

CRUROAR: CRA-

{Cruroar explodes}

{Cue introduction}

{Open to Conchris' House - Main hall, Conchris, Cruroar, Cieeia and Chrionroar are all crowded around a table playing a game of Monopoly}

CONCHRIS: Alright! It's... the car's turn... {glares at Cruroar} I hate you so much.

CRUROAR: Okay, I'd like to trade you a Train Station for one of your lots.

CONCHRIS: No way! Trading's for losers!

CRUROAR: Well, it's Chrionroar's turn...

{Chrionroar rolls the dice and lands on the community chest place, he picks up the card}

CHRIONROAR: AH NO! THE BANK FORECLOSED ON MAH BANANA HATZ! Cruroar goes to jail!

CRUROAR: Wait, lemme see those... {grabs the pile of cards and starts shuffling through them} Banana hats? Cruroar goes to jail. Win one million dollars. Cruroar goes to jail. Chrionroar gets out of jail free except for Cruroar who goes to jail?! Chrionroar wins except for Cruroar who goes to jail?! {Cruroar throws the cards down in digust} The person who made this version of Monopoly has some kind of vendetta against me!

{Cut to a board game factory, a man in a worker's suit comes in}

MAN: He he he. I knew that would tick him off! I hate that Cruroar guy so much!

{Cut back}

CIEEIA: Well, we could play the other million Monopoly clones out there.

CONCHRIS: Nah, they're all the same anyway.

CIEEIA: But who doesn't want to play Monopoly: Everyone's a boot edition?!

CONCHRIS: NOBODY!

{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a mountain, Sirhcnoc is standing at a podium}

SIRHCNOC: Attention all workers! I have had enough of this vidja game nonsense! I have sent out the sports loving robots to find Conchris and Cruroar.

GREG: Why?

SIRHCNOC: Because of what I said, alright? Also, they keep racking up the bills because of their sports subscription.

GREG: Not to mention that they uploaded like a billion sports videos to MeTube!

SIRHCNOC: Yeah, and those. I swear their inboxes must be full of friend requests and negative messages right about now...

{Cut to Conchris' House - Main Hall, two robots roll up to the door and knock, Conchris answers it}

CONCHRIS: Hello! You have reached my humble abode! We were just about to play Snakes and Ladders: Death Edition. Want to play?

{A robot punches Conchris in the face}

CONCHRIS: {dazed} I guess that's a no then...

{Conchris falls over and the robot picks him up and closes the door. Another robot knocks on the door and Cruroar answers it}

CRUROAR: Conches, if that is you, I swear, knock it out right now!

ROBOT #2: Affirmative! {punches Cruroar}

CRUROAR: {dazed} Please don't shoot me officer... {falls over}

{Fade out to black}

{Fade in to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Mountain, Conchris wakes up to see that he is in an arena}

CONCHRIS: Oh wow, I must be in Hell.

SIRHCNOC: NO! You're not in Hell!

CONCHRIS: Are you the devil of all devils?

SIRHCNOC: What? {whispers to Greg} You didn't happen to drug him, did you?

GREG: No. But I made sure there was no chloroform on the robot's fists.

SIRHCNOC: Ahem. Welcome to the Arena!

CONCHRIS: The arena? Aww...

SIRHCNOC: Guess what you'll be playing?

CONCHRIS: The Game? Because you just lost it... DAMN IT!

SIRHCNOC: Yes, yes. I lost The Game. You'll be playing Rugby!

CONCHRIS: Don't you mean Football?

SIRHCNOC: What? No! You'll be playing Rugby!

CONCHRIS: Rugby is a ruffian's game played by gentlemen, and I know for sure that I'm not a gentleman.

SIRHCNOC: Your mom is a gentleman. Yeah! That's right! Gentleman!

CONCHRIS: Your mom jokes are old, eat fresh you idiot!

SIRHCNOC: Fine! But you can choose to play Rugby!

CONCHRIS: What if I don't?

SIRHCNOC: The penalty for refusing is... DEATH! {fires a laser at Conchris, he dodges it} Damn, nearly got you there.

CONCHRIS: Okay, what am I up against?

SIRHCNOC: Four rugby robots!

{Four robots roll out on the field}

ROBOT #1: Kill all humans!

ROBOT #2: Lifeform found. Commencing competitively hard to beat teamwork.

SIRHCNOC: Let the games begin!

CONCHRIS: Wait, a minute, that's hardly fair! There's only one of me!

SIRHCNOC: All's fair when the villain's around!

CONCHRIS: DAMN YOU!

{The four robots run off in different directions, the first robot chucks the ball towards the third one, who then throws it to the second one, Conchris tries to tackle the second one and the ball flies into the hands of the first one}

ROBOT #1: TOUCH. DOWN!

CONCHRIS: DAMN! Where's the others when you need them?

{Cut to a dark room, Cruroar wakes up}

CRUROAR: Ugh... where am I? Who turned out the lights...

{The lights switch on}

CRUROAR: What the?! My leg is chained to the wall! What sick idiot would think of doing this?

{A TV wheels in and turns on, revealing a person in a mask}

MASKED PERSON: {evil voice} Hello, Cruroar. I'd like to play a little game.

CRUROAR: You have got to be kidding me!

{The masked person takes off his mask to reveal that he is Greg}

GREG: Man, that mask was hard to breathe in. So anyway, I'd like to take the time out to play a little quiz game with you!

CRUROAR: Greg? What the hell?

GREG: Yeah, yeah. It's me. Anyway, will you play or not?

CRUROAR: What if I don't?

GREG: You... Damn it... I can't think of a thing!

CRUROAR: Well, you could leave me here to die.

GREG: That sounds good! Anyway, are you refusing?

CRUROAR: No way!

GREG: Good! First question: What's one divided by zero?

CRUROAR: Wait... WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!

GREG: A question. Now answer it!

{Cruroar thinks for a bit}

CRUROAR: 42!

GREG: Correct! Next question: If a murderer swings his knife and misses, does he make a sound?

CRUROAR: No way!

GREG: Wrong! {an arm comes out of Cruroar and shocks him}

CRUROAR: Ow... I could be here for a while...

VOICE: Or you could just quit wasting time!

{Cieeia jumps in and smashes the TV, it turns out to be cardboard}

GREG: Oww...

{Cieeia breaks the chain that was holding Cruroar}

CRUROAR: Thanks Cieeia, I owe you one.

CIEEIA: Don't think of it! By the way, I want to tell you something...

CRUROAR: What is it?

CIEEIA: Cruroar, w-

{Conchris bursts in with the rugby ball}

CONCHRIS: IJUSTWONAGAMEOFRUGBYANDTHEY'REAFTERMEOHDEARGODHELPMEITHINKI'MGOINGTOFAINT... {falls over}

CRUROAR: What was that you were about to say?

CIEEIA: {blushes} Nothing... Now, let's get out of here!

{(Time Card: "One epic escape scene later") Cut to The Streets}

CONCHRIS: That was an epic escape I'll never forget!

CRUROAR: Yeah!

{Forest bursts in}

FOREST: Did anyone forget me?

CONCHRIS: No! Of course not!

FOREST: I swear, next episode, I take all your screentime!

CONCHRIS: You can't take it from me!

FOREST: Watch me, doofus! {Forest pulls out a vaccuum and sucks up Conchris' colour, only his outline remains}

CONCHRIS: Sweet! Now I can spy on people without them looking!

CIEEIA: So... It's a happy ending right?

CONCHRIS: Yeah... Wait, what is THAT?!

{Conchris, Cieeia and Cruroar turn around to see Sirhcnoc in a spaceship with several rocket launchers and laser blasters pointed at them}

SIRHCNOC: JUST FREAKING DIE!!

{Cue credits}

{Black Screen: "END"}