(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000
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< RiffText
Apologies in advance, you baby.
You big baby.
Contents
EPISODES
Season 1 (Doctor Brainfreeze makes a damn fine slushie.)
- Bell Quest — SPOOK CLIFF
- Raiku Email — I know when I see a baby, the first thing I do is interrogate it.
- Records of Bell — Bell was a self-important author surrogate who's convinced he's the best writer who ever lived, Bling was a retard cat-monster that would probably eat its own foot given enough time and condiments, Tracy's an Anglophile who still thinks the fedora-trench coat combo looks good on any living human being, Sarah's just another Bell but with enough bosom to strangle somebody if they happened to fall in, Don Skull's an obnoxious prick, Daigo's got a robot nutbag and that's unsettling by itself, these two new idiots are from a Jethro Tull song for Christ's sake, Skully B.'s a handsome man with a surprising amount of vomit in his system... oh, speaking of which. {dry heave} Nope, I'm out. Oh, but let me go on. The author has wasted our time with this abortion of a "comedy" series which has about as much comedy as a morgue has healthy individuals, completely one-dimensional characters with absolutely nothing mitigating their existence and no merit to their personalities whatsoever, the absolute worst setting you can have for any work of fiction, plots that are nonexistant—and on the very rare occasion that they do have a plot, it's just another goddamn fight scene... and have I mentioned the humor? It's the comedy equivalent of a miscarriage; something so awful and tragic that you never want to speak of it again—it's the kind of humor that even 4chan would never laugh at, the kind of jokes that wouldn't cut it in the darkest of comedies, slapstick that barely even qualifies as such; genital mutilation, kicking, punching, none of this is funny! This fiction is the text equivalent of the Holocaust; it's awful, it's disastrous, it's a tragedy, it's a crime against humanity... Bell deserves to have his computer, his paper... anything that he can transcribe ANY sort of writing or art on to, it needs to be destroyed at this very instant. I never want to see his writing again. Until he actually pays attention in English class and doesn't draw huge tits all over everything, I want him never to approach a keyboard again in his life. I never want to see him pick up a pencil... I don't even want him to think about writing.
CRAZE: That a lot of big words. I got lost at Bell.
Season 2 (Once More, With NachoMan!)
- Zarel Emails — YOU IN THE DRINK
- X Is The New Y — this got gritty fast
- Some Early 1-Up Emails definitely
- Samtheman hasn't edited since November of 2008 so we assume Samtheman.egg is public domain now.
- Pokemon: Strong Bad Version — It's a lot like Kingdom Hearts,
STELLIN: Cause of the fact that they both suck.
SANDMAN: Hey man, KHII was pretty good.
STELLIN: This coming from the man who is afraid of escalators.
Season 3
OTHER
- Before you ask any questions please resort to the FAQ thanks
- Who... who is it? Who... who is it? Who... who is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?
- when bluebry goes to strip clubs (which is very often we can assure you) he likes to look at the poll dancers
CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
JERICHO: ...........CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW oh god it's contagious
