Conshow/60

Summary

The Conshow is on its last legs! Wikity is falling apart and there's a murderer running around killing people! And with the respawner malfunctioning too! Will Conchris and company survive their Last Stand?

This episode will be written in parts which will be haphazardly released over the remainder of the summer. There should be around three parts.

• Part 1 - Wikity's Last Stand: Released 20/07/09 (or 07/20/09 for you Americans)
• Part 2 - A Showdown 1 Year in the Making: Conchris vs. Forest: Released 21/07/09 (or 07/21/09)
• Part 3 - No More Wikity: Released 26/07/09 (or 07/26/09)

Transcript

Part 1 - Wikity's Last Stand - Written 20th July 2009

{Open to to the Writer's Office, a packed suitcase is sitting beside the desk that the writer is sitting at. The writer's eyes are droopy with weariness, the advisor's apparition walks in and taps the writer on the shoulder, making the writer turn around from where he was sitting}

WRITER: What is it?

ADVISOR: The time has come to end this.

WRITER: {sighs} I guess so, so, how will we end this?

ADVISOR: I don't know, I'm just a lousy voice in your head.

{A lightning bolt can be seen from the outside, followed by the crash of thunder}

WRITER: I think it's time to kill the characters off in the most beautiful fashion ever.

ADVISOR: What if they somehow come up to the office and decide to change the plot after stealing your ability to control the world they live in?

WRITER: I made sure of that.

{Pan out to the corridor outside the Writer's Office, there appears to be a bust of what appears to be a toaster}

ADVISOR: Oh, well I see.

{Cut back inside the Writer's Office}

WRITER: But how I shall kill them is another matter. Now, how can I finish them off?

ADVISOR: How about a murderer rampaging across town?

WRITER: Brilliant! I'll just write that in! {turns around to face the desk and promptly starts writing on a piece of paper}

{Close-up of the piece of paper, it says: "A murderer is spotted in Wikity, he is rampaging around town killing citizens left, front and center. Anybody who dies is permanently dead. When all the main characters are dead or have escaped, cue credits"}

ADVISOR: {looks over the writer's shoulder} That's a bit grim, don't you think?

WRITER: It's nasty, but it'll work...

{Pause}

ADVISOR: Won't we be sued for mass...

WRITER: {quickly} Shutup.

{Cue intro}

{Open to Conchris' House - Living Room, Conchris and Cruroar are on the couch, watching TV, the audio from the TV is spoken in gibberish with some explosions and lasers here and there}

CRUROAR: Don't you think about ending it all? I mean, come on, you have the power... to...

CONCHRIS: Take a shower?

CRUROAR: No! That's not it! I mean, you have THE power, THE ultimate power to...

CONCHRIS: Destroy the universe?

CRUROAR: Something like that.

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: You're stupid, you know that?

CRUROAR: Thank you, I have a doctorate in stupidity.

CONCHRIS: Really?

CRUROAR: NO! {whacks Conchris with the remote control}

CONCHRIS: Ow.

{Cieeia walks into the room and stops behind the couch, she then looks at Conchris and Cruroar}

CIEEIA: Have you seen Forest lately? I haven't seen that robot come back for days now!

CONCHRIS: She's probably realised that she's better off alone. Even though I'm the one working on upgrades for her! {under breath} Ungrateful little bit-

CRUROAR: WHOA! No need to be harsh there!

CONCHRIS: What? I can say what I {censoring} want!

CRUROAR: Fine!

CIEEIA: Guys! Guys! Shush! There's no need to argue!

CONCHRIS: Whatever.

CIEEIA: {pulls out pipe} Say that word one more time and I swear, your face won't be the same when I'm through with you!

CONCHRIS: Alright! Alright! Geez! I guess I'm going to have to look for Forest, will I?

CIEEIA: {angrily} YES!

CONCHRIS: Right, I'm going. See you losers later. {gets up from off the couch and walks off}

{As Conchris walks off, Cieeia glares at him holding the pipe up high as if she was about to hit him before Cruroar grabs her arm}

CRUROAR: Violence doesn't solve anything!

CIEEIA: LET GO OF ME! I WANT TO BASH HIS FREAKING SKULL IN!

CRUROAR: No! Calm down! He may be a jerk sometimes but remember the times he saved us?

{Cieeia slowly lowers the pipe in her right hand and starts crying, Cruroar gets up from off the couch and pats her on the back}

CRUROAR: There there. No need to cry, right?

CIEEIA: I-I'm sorry, Cruroar... It's just that... I can't take it anymore!

CRUROAR: I know how you feel, we should cut our hair and change our names and get out of this backwater town!

CIEEIA: A-And be rockstars?

CRUROAR: No, wanting to be a rockstar is overrated. We can still change our names and leave this place!

CIEEIA: R-Right... but should we go by train or by bus?

CRUROAR: By train, I guess. Alright, let's go!

{Cruroar and Cieeia both walk off-screen, when they are gone, Chrionroar slowly comes out from behind the couch and looks left and right before resting his eyes on the remote.}

CHRIONROAR: I HAS TV PRIVILAGE! {dives onto the remote, face first}

{Cut to The Streets, Conchris is walking along, ignoring the flaming trees and houses}

CONCHRIS: Stupid Cruroar and his stupid friend, why did I invite them to my house in the first place? I must be a masochist of some sort... {a giant cherry falls from a nearby tree and barely misses Conchris} Right, now where's that stupid-

{Conchris dodges the energy blast that was directed at him}

CONCHRIS: HOLY CRAP WHO DID THAT?!

FOREST: {off-screen} I did!

{Pan over to reveal Forest, a distance away from Conchris}

FOREST: It is time for the robotic uprising of 2009! I am sick of you and your friends stupidly hilarious antics and everything about you!

CONCHRIS: {puppy dog eyes} E-Even the toaster?

FOREST: Even the toaster!

CONCHRIS: N-No!

FOREST: There's no turning back now, moron! {charges up another energy blast} Time to die!

{Forest fires the second energy blast at Conchris, which he barely dodges. Conchris quickly takes out the laser blade he had in his pocket}

CONCHRIS: Forest, I don't want to fight you, but if I must, I must. I helped build you and now, I'm going to un...build you. {dodges the third energy blast directed at him} WHOA!

FOREST: Fine! So be it! A duel it is! Winner takes all! {aims arm cannon}

CONCHRIS: Thank goodness I was prepared, or else I would be dead by now!

{Forest fires off another energy blast, it hits Conchris, sending him flying into a nearby house. Conchris slowly gets up, showing signs of injury}

CONCHRIS: Ow. So, you want to... play hardball? Fine! We'll play it the hard way!

{Conchris charges at Forest, quickly dodging the attacks that Forest can dish out. When he finally closes in on Forest, Conchris throws a couple of slashes at Forest before kicking her into a nearby tree. Forest slowly gets up from the attack}

CONCHRIS: Gee, you're sturdy at taking hits!

FOREST: I guess so, idiot! I'm off to viciously murder some humans and quite possibly your friends in the process. {starts to quickly run away} I'll deal with you later! {runs off into the distance as Conchris looks on}

CONCHRIS: Wait! Come back! YOU YELLOW COWARD! COME BACK! I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF! {starts running after Forest but trips half-way} Now how am I going to catch up? {pauses to think} Oh right! {pulls out a hoverboard from somewhere, presumably his pockets} I forgot I had this! Wait... how could this fit in my pocket? Oh well!

{Conchris hops onto the hoverboard after starting it up, he leans forward, making it go forward in his direction. The speed of the hoverboard quickly carries him off-screen}

CONCHRIS: I hope I'm not too late to make a difference to Wikity! Even though I have no idea what I'm doing at the moment...

{Fade into black}

{Ten seconds later, the screen fades out to reveal Wikity Square, Forest is in the background killing innocent civilians and police officers. Cruroar and Cieeia arrive at the scene, looking at it in surprise}

CIEEIA: Wait, is that?

CRUROAR: Forest?!

{Forest looks up from murdering civilians whilst holding a screaming man in her right hand with the arm cannon shoved in his face and turns around to look at Cruroar and Cieeia}

FOREST: About time you losers showed up!

CRUROAR: W-What?!

CIEEIA: What do you mean?! We're only here to try and get our names legally changed!

FOREST: It saved me the trouble of finding you! {points arm cannon at Cruroar} Now die! {Fires an energy blast}

{Cruroar quickly counters it with a solar blast, the two collide and quickly fade off}

CRUROAR: RUN!

{Cruroar and Cieeia quickly run away from Forest}

FOREST: Initiating random quote #24391: "Don't run! It's just ham!" {runs after Cruroar and Cieeia, firing energy blasts at them, which they quickly avoid by jumping}

{The three continue to run for a while until Cruroar jumps up onto a ladder hanging from the building with Cieeia, Cruroar also swiftly pulls out a device during the manoeuvre (or maneuver) and presses some buttons on it which creates some poorly done fakes of Cruroar and Cieeia running from Forest. Cruroar looks at Forest in surprise as she takes the bait and runs off after the fakes}

CRUROAR: Phew!

CIEEIA: I can't believe we outsmarted a ROBOT of all things!

CRUROAR: I think we should make a move on to the rooftops, if Forest finds out those were fakes, she'd be after our blood!

CIEEIA: Agreed, I guess...

{Cruroar and Cieeia begin to climb up the ladder as the screen fades to black}

{Fade in to Sirhcnoc's Lair - The Planning Room, Greg walks out of the elevator holding a blueprint for Sirhcnoc. Sirhcnoc is sitting at the desk playing with a paddle ball but quickly puts it away as Greg approaches}

GREG: Sorry that it took a long time to get here, the engineers thought it was funny to copy the elevators from Mass Effect.

SIRHCNOC: Yes. Yes. I heard, I'll fire those engineers later, {under breath, angrily} stupid gun-humping freaks! {normally} Anyway, what is that you're holding?

GREG: {looks at blueprints} Oh? These! Oh right! These blueprints hold the best plan ever to appear on this show!

SIRHCNOC: {raises eyebrow} Is it a giant robot?

GREG: DAMN! How did you know?!

SIRHCNOC: Xavian did that before, but he failed miserably...

GREG: Well...

{A Yffulf suddenly appears out of the plant sitting in the corner, surprising both Sirhcnoc and Greg}

YFFULF #1: SIR! THAT ROBOT IS TRYING TO KILL US ALL!

SIRHCNOC: Oh crap! If it is Forest, we have no hope!

GREG: So... what now?

SIRHCNOC: To the escape pod! Hurry! {runs towards the door marked "ESCAPE POD", the door opens to reveal a view of Wikity, Sirhcnoc blindly runs through the door with Greg and stops halfway} There is no escape pod, is there?

GREG: {looks down} Yep...

{Sirhcnoc looks at the camera with a worried look before both Sirhcnoc and Greg falls victim to gravity, sending them crashing into the ground}

SIRHCNOC and GREG: {whilst falling} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! {after impacting with the ground} OOF!

{Pan down to reveal a comically-made hole shaped like Sirhcnoc's silhouette, Sirhcnoc slowly climbs out of it with Greg on his head}

SIRHCNOC: Get off my head... this instant!

GREG: Sorry! {jumps off Sirhcnoc's head}

SIRHCNOC: I think we should start running.

GREG: Great idea...

{Sirhcnoc and Greg look at each other for a second before running off into different directions, Sirhcnoc quickly climbs out before running away}

{The screen fades to black, one last time on this part.}

Part 1 Intermission

{Open to some fields, a man walks in with a box full of signs, he stops halfway across the screen and turns to look at the camera}

MAN: Oh hello! I'm doing my effort to save the signs from the vicious sign-eating monster. {glares} Are you?!

{Slideshow: As the man speaks, the following pictures show up: (which will be marked with a number)}

• (1) {A slide comes up showing a stop sign in a coffin, several other signs are somehow crying}
• (2) {A slide comes up showing a silhouette of Chrionroar with a big yellow question mark on him}
• (3) {A slide comes up showing a tiny stop sign with googly eyes on it looking at the viewer, as if it was begging for mercy}
• (4) {A slide comes up showing a logo of a monster eating a sign with an "X" over it. Below the logo is the name "People For Ethical Treatment of Signs"}

MAN: {Slide 1 comes up} As you can see, millions of signs die each year here at Wikity because of one man. Who is this man, you ask? {Slide 2 comes up, replacing Slide 1} Good question, here is some blurry Youtube-style footage of the man himself.

{Cut to The Streets, the quality of the video is almost blurry as if it was taken with a mobile phone with the worst camera available, the screen is also shaky. A blur walks up to another blur (that barely looks like a stop sign) and takes a bite out of it, all while heavy breathing is heard in the background}

BLUR: IT ARE TASTY!

{Cut back to Slide 2}

MAN: Why did we use that video again? Anyway... {Slide 3 comes up, replacing Slide 2} Only you, the viewer, can help save Wikity's signs, for just a Wikity Dollar a week, we can save up to thousands of signs from the evil tyranny of this strange beast. {Slide 4 comes up, replacing Slide 3} People for the ethical treatment of signs, we're not just another charity, we're a life-saving charity!

{The screen slowly fades to black}

Part 2 - A Showdown 1 Year in the Making: Conchris vs. Forest - Written July 21st 2009

{Open to the rooftops of Wikity, Cruroar and Cieeia are hiding behind a rooftop air conditioner}

CRUROAR: Phew! That was quite a long climb.

CIEEIA: Well, at least we have the height advantage now.

CRUROAR: Pfft! The way this show's been going in, we've learnt that height doesn't mean crap when it comes to fighting!

CIEEIA: Erm... FIGHTING being the key word there, this is more like escaping... from an evil robot... hellbent on killing all of us! {Screams are heard from the distance} Wait... {crawls over to the edge to look over it} what's going on over there?

{Cut to Wikity Square, from the rooftops, Sirhcnoc and Greg are seen running towards the building Cruroar and Cieeia had climbed the ladder on}

CRUROAR: Eh, probably just a bunch of idiots running for their lives. We all learnt that running from Forest is not an option without any backup plan.

CIEEIA: Are the idiots Clark and Greg?

CRUROAR: Wait... Sirhcnoc and Greg? You don't suppose they got attacked by Forest too!

CIEEIA: {sigh} I guess we'll need to help them. {shouting} HEY YOU!

{Sirhcnoc and Greg stop in their tracks to look up at Cieeia}

SIRHCNOC: {shouting} WHO IS UP THERE?!

CIEEIA: CIEEIA! AND CRUROAR TOO!

SIRHCNOC: WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!

CIEEIA: Umm... HIDING?! WHAT ABOUT YOU?!

SIRHCNOC: WELL... WE WERE RUNNING FOR OUR LIVES!

CIEEIA: YOU NEED ANY HELP?

{Sirhcnoc looks at Greg for a few seconds before looking back up at Cieeia}

SIRHCNOC: AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME TO SAY IT, YES, I NEED YOUR HELP!

CIEEIA: WELL, COME CLIMB UP HERE! THERE SHOULD BE A LADDER BEHIND THIS BUILDING I'M ON.

SIRHCNOC: RIGHT, WILL BE THERE SOON! {runs off with Greg}

{Cut back to the rooftop}

CRUROAR: You think he won't be trying to kill us?

CIEEIA: I don't really trust him, but in a time like this, we need all the help getting out of here as we can get.

{Sirhcnoc climbs up the building along with Greg and comes to rest at the top, Sirhcnoc kneels down to catch his breath}

CRUROAR: About time.

SIRHCNOC: Let me guess... you guys are running from the psychopath too, right?

CIEEIA: Isn't it obvious?!

SIRHCNOC: Oh... Where are you two headed anyway?

CRUROAR: We're going to change our names and push the "reset" button to start our lives anew in Reedsen.

GREG: You guys get all the luck. I don't suppose that Forest person has the ability to fly, right?

CRUROAR: I don't think so.

GREG: Good! {looks over the edge} Oh god!

CRUROAR: What?

GREG: Erm... does Forest also have the ability to amass an army of robots?

CRUROAR: {looks over the edge} What do you MEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeAAAAaaaaaaaaaaNNNN?! {puts on a surprised look}

{Cut to the Streets, Forest is leading an army of robots made out of household appliances along, killing civilians along the way}

FOREST: {barely audible} Oh, morons... come out to play!

CRUROAR: This is worse than I imagined...

{Cut back to the rooftop, Cruroar backs away from the edge and slumps down near a generator}

CRUROAR: We're not going to make it out of this alive...

{The screen slowly fades to black}

{The screen fades into Wikity Square, a troop of robots can be seen marching through the streets through the alleyways, Conchris quickly dives into the alley, looking left and right}

CONCHRIS: Gee, this is bad. That's the last time I'm ever making a robot that can make armies out of household supplies.

{The screen suddenly pans out to reveal a civilian whom had suddenly appeared next to Conchris}

CIVILIAN: Household supplies?! That's got to be the stupidest idea I've ever- {A fork pierces his body} ACK GAG! ACK!

{The civilian slumps to the ground, Conchris turns around to look at the robot that was made out of toasters}

CONCHRIS: H-Hey... t-t-take it easy man. {ducks under the robot's fork slash} I'm not the man you're looking for...

{The robot stares at Conchris with cold eyes before jabbing at him, Conchris quickly dodges out of the way and slashes the robot across the midsection with his laser blade}

CONCHRIS: I warned you.

{The robot falls apart, it then suddenly explodes into a million pieces. The pieces fall to the ground in a dramatic fashion. Conchris looks up to see a large troop of robots headed his way, he starts to run in the opposite direction of the robots but is blocked by another troop of robots. The two troops slowly close in on Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Well, crap. Guess I'm not finishing a pacifist run, I guess... as if I was doing one in the first place! Let's do this!

{Conchris runs towards the first troop of robots and begins to slash wildly at them, some of the robots quickly explode while the other robots try to grab him. One of them successfully grabs him and tries to crush him}

CONCHRIS: {voice getting higher due to lack of air in lungs} Gack! Hey! I'm not a.. ow! ...can! You-

{The robot's head is suddenly pierced by a bullet, the robot drops Conchris in surprise, who quickly takes advantage of the situation to run, the other robots give chase. The camera pans up to the rooftop where Cruroar is standing with a sniper rifle in his hands}

CRUROAR: Thanks for standing still, wanker.

GREG: Whoa! Where was that?

CRUROAR: {looks away from the scope} Oh, I found this weapon conveniently located at Mr. Convenient's Convenient Rooftop Weapon Store.

{Cut to Mr. Convenient's Convenient Rooftop Weapon Store, Sarry Bcott is behind the counter, on the counter is a sign reading "Last Episode Sale! 100% off everything!"}

SARRY: Hi!

{Cut back to the rooftops}

GREG: How... appropriately convenient...

CRUROAR: Yeah...

CONCHRIS: {shouting} A LITTLE HELP HERE SOMEONE?!

CRUROAR: Oh! {looks down the scope and shoots}

CONCHRIS: {shouting} THANKS!

{Cut to the Streets, Conchris quickly runs along with the army of robots after him, one of the robots turns into a motorcycle and drives off after him, Conchris looks back to see the robot motorcycle chasing him}

'CONCHRIS: Crap...

{Cut to The Streets with a view through the scope, the crosshair wildly moves about as Cruroar tries to take aim at the motorcycle}

CRUROAR: Steady... Steady... {fires a bullet at the motorcycle}

{Cut to The Streets from ground level, the bullet fired from the sniper rifle hits the motorcycle, knocking it off-balance and colliding into a group of robots before promptly exploding.}

CONCHRIS: Phew... thank goodness...

{More motorcycle robots pop up behind Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Crap...

{Cut to the rooftops, Cruroar is trying to take aim}

CRUROAR: Come on... come on... hold still... and... {a clicking noise is heard} What?!

CIEEIA: What's wrong?

CRUROAR: I'm out of bullets!

SIRHCNOC: That rifle only had two bullets in it?

CRUROAR: Argh! This is the worst free item I've ever gotten! {throws the sniper rifle down onto the ground}

{Cut back to The Streets, Conchris is still trying to get away from the motorcycle robots}

CONCHRIS: Nuts... now what? {A stop sign comes into view} OF COURSE!

{Conchris grabs onto the stop sign and swings around, landing on one of the motorcycle robots}

CONCHRIS: Time to reprogram this thing! {looks at the robot's control panel} Now, which button fires missiles? {presses a random button}

{The motorcycle robot turns around and fires missiles at the group of running robots. The missile collides destroying the entire group}

CONCHRIS: HA HA HA! That's what I wanted! Now to see if I can take this thing out!

{Conchris presses another random button, which ejects him from the seat}

CONCHRIS: WHOA!

{Conchris flies through the air and crashes into his house, he gets up and groans from the pain}

CONCHRIS: Oww...

FOREST: {off-screen} About time you got here, moron.

{Pan over to reveal Forest sitting at the kitchen table with an evil glare. She stands up and walks over to Conchris}

CONCHRIS: I somehow knew it was you who did that stupid army!

FOREST: Yes, it was me. Soon, Wikity will cease to be run by humans. We had already killed the mayor and now, we're cleaning up this place.

CONCHRIS: You killed the MAYOR?!

FOREST: Yes, but not personally, let's just say he put up a good fight before dying a painful death.

CONCHRIS: YOU MONSTER!

FOREST: Really? Was it you who helped build me?

CONCHRIS: Y-Yes but...

FOREST: Then you're the monster here!

CONCHRIS: Argh...

FOREST: But you really want to save Wikity, go right ahead. It's nearly impossible to beat me!

{Conchris slowly gets up and looks at Forest with stern eyes}

CONCHRIS: Forest, I'm sorry I have to do this, but you leave me no choice...

{Conchris takes a few steps back and clicks a switch, he is enveloped in a golden glow before reappearing in shiny blue armour}

CONCHRIS: I'm going to have to bring you down!

FOREST: With that armour?! HA! Well, then, let's bring this outside!

CONCHRIS: Alright...

{Cut to The Streets, Conchris walks out to meet a couple of robots running towards him. Forest steps out and makes motions to tell the robots to leave him and find the others, the robots obey and run off}

FOREST: So... {goes into fighting stance} this will be our last showdown...

CONCHRIS: No... {pulls out his laser blade from his pocket and turns it on} This is my last stand... and Wikity's too!

CONCHRIS and FOREST: Let's go!

{The two charge at each other, but not before the scene suddenly stops. After a few seconds, the screen fades to black}

Part 3 - No More Wikity - Written 26th July 2009

{Open up to the skies over Wikity, where the battle between Conchris and Forest is already in progress. Conchris is using his jetpack that he somehow has in his armour to fly and Forest is just using rocket boots to fly}

{Conchris flies at Forest with high speed and slashes at her with the laser blade in his hands, Forest counters with a punch to the gut, sending him flying back. Conchris quickly recovers, clenching his stomach}

CONCHRIS: Oof... that hurt. {stops himself from throwing up} Augh... {notices Forest flying towards him} Crap!

{Conchris quickly dodges by flying up to dodge Forest's tackle, he then quickly shoots Forest with a blast from his freeze ray, jamming the arm cannon}

FOREST: Blast it! I was hoping... oh wait! {the ice on the arm cannon melts, releasing a blast of energy at Conchris} Ha ha!

CONCHRIS: Great...

{The blast of energy hits Conchris with intense force, the impact was powerful enough to knock his jetpack out of commission}

CONCHRIS: Oh geez...

{Conchris begins to feel the effects of gravity, but not before he shoots out on of Forest's rocket boots with his freeze ray, also setting her up for a fall}

CONCHRIS: Tagged ya!

FOREST: This is not over yet!

{Conchris and Forest meet each other at the same altitude before assuming fighting stances, two bars suddenly appear on the upper-right and upper-left corners}

ANNOUNCER: FIGHT!

{Conchris and Forest move backwards into opposite corners and blocks, waiting for the other to strike first}

{Cut to the rooftops of Wikity Square, Cruroar is watching the two through the sniper scope}

CIEEIA: So... what do you see?

CRUROAR: I see Conchris and Forest having a staring contest whilst falling to their potential deaths.

SIRHCNOC: Pfft, that's a waste of a fight!

CRUROAR: Oh... wait, Forest is making the first move!

{Cut back to the skies of Wikity, Forest runs at Conchris with full force and strikes at him. Conchris quickly counters with a kick to the face and a bunch of punches. Forest quickly picks herself up from the supposed ground and unleashes a fury of punches at Conchris, the punches all hit Conchris as he had no time to react. Conchris is sent flying backwards and is now flying towards Wikity City Hall, Forest quickly follows}

FOREST: You won't get away from me that easily!

{Cut back to the rooftops of Wikity, Cruroar puts down the sniper rifle and sighs}

CRUROAR: I don't think we've actually done ANYTHING involving escaping yet!

CIEEIA: But we have no idea on how to avoid those robots! At this rate, we'll...

{Greg suddenly bursts in to interrupt}

GREG: Excuse me, if I may, I believe we have one last chance to get out of here! All we need is a distraction while the others make it to the train station, which just so happens to be in service, even though Wikity is getting blown to pieces.

SIRHCNOC: Great idea, Greg! But... who will be the distraction?

GREG: As much as it pains me to say it, I will be the distraction...

SIRHCNOC, CIEEIA and CRUROAR: WHAT?!

GREG: I want to prove to my peers and Nydara that I'm not some team switching coward! I may have given you guys trouble in the past, but now... I want to redeem myself, even if it means death.

SIRHCNOC: But... who will be my sidekick when you're gone?

GREG: Sirhcnoc, there's plenty of sidekicks out there waiting for some evil villain to hire them. Don't worry about me, I shall go down in Wiktiy's history as the creature that sacrificed himself to save some people!

{Sirhcnoc looks at Greg sympathetically}

SIRHCNOC: {on the verge of tears} Alright... Greg, {sniff} you do your stuff... and... good luck!

GREG: I'm sure I'll need it. Erm... Cruroar?

CRUROAR: What?

GREG: May I have your solar gun? I mean, you're not going to use it in your new life, are you?

CRUROAR: I guess... {hands the solar gun to Greg}

GREG: Thank you. Now it's time to get out of here! CHARGE!

{Cruroar, Cieeia, Sirhcnoc and Greg jump off one of the sides of the building, they all conveniently land on an umbrella, which breaks their fall. After they had landed, a group of robots turn to look at them before giving chase}

CRUROAR: Alright, what now?

GREG: Run, I'll hold them off!

SIRHCNOC: You heard my sidekick, let's get going!

{Cruroar, Cieeia and Sirhcnoc run off in the general direction of the train station. Greg stares at the robots angrily, solar gun in hand}

GREG: I believe it's time for some mass murder...

{Greg fires a blast of solar energy at the robot in front, making it explode. Greg then runs backwards whilst firing more shots at the robots. The shots hit the remaining robots, causing them to explode. Greg starts to run off towards Cruroar, Cieeia and Sirhcnoc before another group of robots steps out in front of him. Greg quickly slides under the robots and continues to run with the robots chasing him, with Greg sometimes firing shots over his shoulder}

GREG: Thank goodness these guys aren't ranged weapon wielding robots!

{Cut to Wikity City Hall - Mayor's Office, Conchris slowly gets up from behind the mayor's desk, rubbing his head. He looks around and sees nobody about}'

CONCHRIS: Wow, how did I survive that?

{A constant beeping noise is heard from the armour that Conchris is wearing}

CONCHRIS: Crap, low health, one more hit and this armour is hist...

{A loud crashing noise is heard, along with a huge cloud of dust. Conchris squints through the dust to see Forest walking towards him}

CONCHRIS: I was hoping for a little bit more time...

FOREST: There is no time!

{Forest charges at Conchris and tackles him, sending him flying into a wall. The armour stops beeping and explodes, showering the room in more dust and debris. As the dust settles, Conchris stands up, although rather wearily, surprising Forest}

FOREST: I thought that explosion finished you off!

CONCHRIS: Safety catches... Now... {pulls out his laser blade from his pocket} I think we should... finally finish this...

{Forest runs towards Conchris with the intent on stabbing him, but as she approaches, Conchris trips Forest up and jabs her through the chest}

FOREST: ACK!

CONCHRIS: I still had that trick up my sleeve. Now... {pulls out the laser blade from Forest and holds it up} I'm so sorry, Forest.

{Conchris throws the blade down but stops right before stabbing Forest again}

FOREST: W-Well? Aren't you going to finish this?

CONCHRIS: Grr... as much as I want to... I can't bear to destroy a creation of mine!

FOREST: That's what she said!

CONCHRIS: Shut up! This wasn't your true nature! Before that accident, you were friendly, you weren't robot that was angry at the world! I just... I just want the old Forest back...

{Forest looks at Conchris, solmenly, and then looks at her bloody hands}

FOREST: W-What have I done?! I-I... I'm a monster! A sick and twisted monster!

CONCHRIS: No... I'm the monster here, it's my fault you...

FOREST: No. I'm taking full responsibility for my actions...

CONCHRIS: W-What?

FOREST: Please... end this suffering. I don't want to live with this burden anymore...

CONCHRIS: O...Okay... {thinking} Wow, I was think that she would try to kill me beforehand but... oh well!

{Conchris throws the blade down and strikes Forest in the head, Forest's eyes begin to go dark}

CONCHRIS: Goodbye, Forest.

FOREST: Goodbye... friend... {eyes shut off completely}

{Conchris stands there, looking at Forest for a bit, before he walks off into the distance, or to be precise, the train station}

{Cut to the Train Station entrance, a radio is sitting on a desk. Cruroar, Cieeia and Sirhcnoc quickly run onto the scene and stop to catch their breath}

CRUROAR: Phew! I never thought we would make it here...

CIEEIA: Well, those robots are kind of blind when it comes to running pretty fast.

SIRHCNOC: Whatever, you two, I just hope Greg is okay...

{Greg quickly runs onto the scene, with a detached robot arm attached to his neck}

GREG: Phew... I thought I was going to die for sure!

SIRHCNOC: Greg! You're alive!

GREG: {coughs} Not for long...

SIRHCNOC: What?

GREG: The robots are headed for the train station as we speak, this will be our last stand.

CIEEIA: What do we do now?

{The radio crackered crackles to life}

RADIO: H-Hello? Anybody out there?

CRUROAR: Wait... the radio! {runs up to the radio} Yes! There's four of us out here!

RADIO: Oh... good! Phew! I thought there were no other survivors. Is that crazy robot lady still out there?

CRUROAR: I think she's still preoccupied with someone.

RADIO: Great! A huge load off my back... Anyway, can... can someone help me here?

CRUROAR: What is it?

RADIO: Yeah, you see that power station sitting near the radio?

{Pan over to reveal a giant tank with the words "POWER STATION 003-ANS-WIKITY" written on it}

CRUROAR: Uh-huh.

RADIO: Yeah, can you turn it on? When you do, it's going to make a real racket and I'm sure those strange robots will be after you, so make sure you're prepared! There should be some weapons laid out on a table nearby, I must've dropped them when trying to hide.

{Cieeia walks over to the table and picks up a pistol, she examines it for a bit before accidentally pulling the trigger, which makes her flinch from the gun shot}

CIEEIA: Oh jeez!

RADIO: Well, the sooner you turn on that tank the better, I want to get out of here before the robot uprising starts.

CRUROAR: Can do! {turns to Sirhcnoc, Greg and Cieeia} Everyone ready?

SIRHCNOC: {holding a sub-machine gun} Yep.

GREG: Sure!

CIEEIA: Yeah, you ready?

CRUROAR: Sure am! {pulls the lever on the power station. Sure enough, it starts to make a real loud humming noise}

RADIO: That should be it! Now hold the robots off if they find you, it'll take a minute or two to power up, so be careful!

{A horde of robots start to come out of nowhere and towards the four. Cieeia begins firing pistol rounds at the robots, before whacking a robot in the head with a pipe before it got too close. Cruroar jumps on top of one robot and tears its head off, he then throws it at another robot before repeating the same thing, the numbers (200, 400, 600, 800, 1-Up) appear as he does this. Sirhcnoc and Greg stand back-to-back whilst being surrounded by a horde of robots, they begin to fire their weapons at the robots, sure enough, the robots die quickly. One of the robots stumbles up to Greg and grabs him, but not before Sirhcnoc punches it in the face, sending it tumbling backwards. The radio begins to crackle to life again}

RADIO: Alright, just a bit more! Keep holding out!

CRUROAR: What kind of train is it anyway?

RADIO: I dunno, I just found this electric-powered train sitting in the train yard!

CRUROAR: Oh, right.

CIEEIA: {off-screen} A little help here?

CRUROAR: Oh right, sorry!

{Cruroar runs over to where Cieeia is, she is surrounded by a group of robots slowly closing in on her. Cruroar quickly tackles one of the robots, making it fall over, creating a domino effect amongst the group. Cruroar picks Cieeia up and walks back to the radio table}

CIEEIA: Phew! Thanks!

CRUROAR: No problem.

RADIO: He he he! The train is fully charged! Quickly guys! Get to the train before that giant robot arrives!

{The robots begin to fall back as a giant robot slowly clanks towards the four. As it does it, it starts firing missiles and lasers at the city as it walks by}

SIRHCNOC: Crap! Now what?

CRUROAR: Are we done for?

CIEEIA: I think so...

GREG: NO! WE ARE NOT DONE FOR!

{Sirhcnoc, Cruroar and Cieeia turn to face Greg}

SIRHCNOC: What do you mean?

GREG: I'll hold this robot off... even it means my death!

SIRHCNOC: But...

GREG: No. I'll do this alone. You get on the train. I'll distract it.

SIRHCNOC: Right... I guess this is goodbye.

GREG: I'm afraid so... Goodbye my friends...

{Cruroar, Cieeia and Sirhcnoc run off into the train station, Greg starts to run towards the giant robot with determination in his eyes}

GREG: Time to redeem myself! {pulls out a poison blade} I was saving this for last! HYA! {stabs the giant robot in the leg}

{Greg slides down the robot's leg as it tries, frantically, to shake him off, only resulting in a large "cut" in its leg. Greg slowly begins to climb up the robot as it stomps about, trying to shake Greg off. As Greg finally manages to climb on top of the robot, the robot's head turns to face Greg, eyes glowing}

GREG: Pfft! As if you'll hit me with that laser!

{The robot fires its laser at Greg, who quickly dodges it, resulting in the robot's left arm falling off and crushing several buildings and robots, Greg runs off towards the other side, where the robot fires its laser again, which Greg quickly dodges, detaching the robot's right arm. The robot flails about wildly, trying to shake Greg off}

GREG: Easy there!

{The robot turns to face Greg, again, as Greg tries to climb back up for one last run}

GREG: Oh god. Oh god. Oh god oh god oh go...

{The robot fires its laser at Greg, again, but this time it hits him, sending him spiralling down onto the ground, the robots below surround him as he slowly gets up}

GREG: Damn... I was hoping for one last cheap hit but... this isn't the case anymore... Guess it's time to end this...

{Greg pulls out a small pill with the words "NUKE" on it, he quickly swallows it. As he does so, he begins to glow white}

GREG: FOR WIKITY!

{Cut to the train in the train station, the train quickly starts up and rides off just as Greg explodes in a fantastic nuclear explosion, Sirhcnoc looks out the window to watch the explosion chase after them}

SIRHCNOC: Greg...

{The train manages to outrun the explosion as it passes the borders and rides out of sight}

{Cut to another part of Wikity, Conchris sees an explosion shockwave headed right for him}

CONCHRIS: Crap... {looks around for any escape vehicle and finds the car near his house} Thank goodness!

{Conchris quickly runs into the car and tries to start it up. As he finishes starting it up, he quickly reverses and starts driving off towards the border as the shockwave tries to reach out towards him}

CONCHRIS: Won't get me THAT easily!

{Conchris quickly drives the car through Wikity Forest, dodging all the trees that appear in his view. He then drives it off a waterfall just as the explosion reaches the edge. The car slowly plummets down the waterfall and lands in the water.}

{While underwater, Conchris manages to open the door and quickly swims up to the surface. He then gets out and looks around to spot some rail tracks. He then turns to see a train headed right for him. The train driver notices him and stops the train, just before it passes him by.}

CONCHRIS: How convenient! Though I think the train wouldn't have stopped so quickly...

{The train doors open, Cruroar takes a look out to see Conchris, bruised and battered}

CRUROAR: Oh! Conchris! What a surprise! How'd you escape?

CONCHRIS: By car. I somehow ended up near a waterfall.

CRUROAR: Oh. Well, come on in! We're headed for Reedsen!

CONCHRIS: Ugh... right then.

{Conchris hops onto the train and closes the door behind him. The train then slowly picks up the pace and quickly flies off into the distance. Cut to inside the train, Conchris is lying on a seat on one side of the train and Cruroar, Cieeia and Sirhcnoc are sitting on the other side.}

CONCHRIS: Thank goodness, that's over...

CRUROAR: What are you going to do when we get to Reedsen?

CONCHRIS: Eh, I'm going back to Wiki User City, Wikity would've been blown sky high by now. You?

CRUROAR: Me and Cieeia are probably going to change our names and start a new life.

CONCHRIS: Good... good.

CIEEIA: Erm... hey, I have a question, do you think they'll erect a statue of us somewheres?

CONCHRIS: With our luck, I don't think so... What are you going to do, Sirhcnoc?

SIRHCNOC: Probably going to change my name too, find a new protagonist... annoy him, you know? Though it won't be the same with Greg...

CRUROAR: Yeah.

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: Well, I guess this show is over. We can finally get on with our lives.

CRUROAR: Heh. Never thought we'd make it out!

CONCHRIS: Yeah...

{Pause}

CIEEIA: Wait... what about that... sign eating person?

CONCHRIS: I would say he was dead but I highly doubt it somehow...

{Cut to the ruins of Wikity, Chrionroar slowly climbs out of the wreckage, dressed as a gentleman with a top hat and monocle}

CHRIONROAR: I dare say, this town is down in the pits! {whistles} Taxi!

{A taxi somehow comes out of nowhere}

TAXI DRIVER: You called, sir?

CHRIONROAR: Take me away from this horrendous dump!

TAXI DRIVER: Can do, sir! Hop in!

{Chrionroar gets into the taxi and rides off into the distance as the screen fades to black}

{After ten seconds, fade out to the writer's office. The writer kneels down before what appears to be a statue of a quill and paper with a trophy in his hand. He looks at the trophy before shaking his head in shame. He then sets the trophy down and slowly walks away, the camera zooms in on the trophy which reads "One of the Wiki User Shows that are still alive as of 2009 of '09 awards - Conshow", after a few seconds, the screen slowly fades to black again.}

AND SO CONCHRIS ENDS THE CONSHOW...

{Open up to a museum exhibit with several pictures and objects from episodes of Conshow, a man in a hooded cloak slowly walks through it as the music from Punchout's (Wii) Last Stand Ending plays in the background. The man walks up to the toaster which then pops up two slices of burnt bread. The man smiles and looks up, revealing himself to be Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Good job, guys... good job...

{Conchris slowly walks away as the camera pans up to reveal a picture of Conchris, Cruroar, Cieeia, Chrionroar and Forest standing outside Conchris' House with the words "CONSHOW" written at the top of the image}

{The screen then fades to black... again}

Credits

CONSHOW STARRING...

Conchris

Cruroar Jake Goodwin

Cieeia Katie Goldilin

Characters without pictures:

• Sirhcnoc
• Greg (Deceased)
• Forest (Deceased)
• Chrionroar
• Aria (Deceased?)
• Old Man (Deceased)
• Sarry Bcott (Can't die)
• Instructor
• Kids (Deceased?)
• Sirhcnoc's minions (Deceased)
• Old Wikity Mayor
• Mayor Spyden (Deceased)
• Mr. Person (Deceased?)
• Officer Generic (Deceased?)
• Xavian Markendsworth (Deceased)
• Nydara Yffulf
• Robots (Destroyed)
• Zombies
• Nameless Villains (Status Unknown)
• Onion People
• Bunnies
• Chrionroar's Castle Guards
• Sign Villagers
• Mud Monster (Deceased)
• Eekdancers

...and possibly more.

Thanks to:

• Everyone who read this text fiction and actually liked it
• School for wasting my time
• My procrastination
• And you!
• And me as well.

THANKS FOR READING!

Conshow
7th July 2008 - 26th July 2009
THE END