Ethan & Dolan/Sylar

Summary

Sylar/Raiku/Gavino gets an interview along with Raggon, Raggonix, and Meg.

Transcript

ETHAN: -don't get it. Is he Gavino? Is he Raiku? Is he-

DOLAN: Oh! Welcome to Ethan & Dolan. Tonight, we have Sylar on the show.

ETHAN: No! He'll eat my brains..

DOLAN: Heh... funny. Come on out here, Sylar!

{Sylar walks out}

SYLAR: Hey guys.

ETHAN: That may have just been the most boring enterance I've seen yet. Couldn't you have done a little better?

{Sylar leaves then comes back, cutting off the heads of people and blowing stuff up}

SYLAR: Happy?

DOLAN: Ahh! You killed half the audience!

ETHAN: Yes, but it was much more dramatic. Well done.

DOLAN: But he-

ETHAN: Yeah like you've never killed anyone.... So what's up, Sylar?

SYLAR: Same old same old. Killing people for powers or cutting me off in a freeway.

DOLAN: Okay, we know you're not really Sylar from Heroes. What's really happening?

SYLAR: Hoe do you know? Also, I am having a email show starring me and my brothers Nathan and Peter.

ETHAN: Sure, good luck with that. Listen, Raiku, what's with the name changes?

SYLAR: I like different names.

ETHAN: I see that.

DOLAN: But, first you were Gavino, then Raiku, now Sylar? Where are you coming up with these names?

SYLAR: None of your buisness. Also, TEXAS!

ETHAN: Yeah, sorry we stopped with that. Texas texas texas. See nothing happens. Now explain your names...

SYLAR: Gavino is based off my real name, I don't know about Raiku and I like heroes.

DOLAN: Well now, it would seem that you have some "friends" out in the audience. Who would they be again?

SYLAR: Raggon, Raggonix, and Meg.

ETHAN: Gee thanks, how bout you call em down... maybe?

SYLAR: YO RAGGON!

{Raggon runs in.}

DOLAN: So what exactly are you, Raggon?

RAGGON: A fire controling human, why?

ETHAN: Oh. Of course! 'Cause that's soooo obvious.

DOLAN: Yeah, but what's your history?

RAGGON: What? I don't like Math, History, Science, or English. I only like Recess, PE, and Lunch.

ETHAN: {smacks head} How do we get these people on our show!?

DOLAN: I'm pretty sure the producer just set up an open sign-up.

ETHAN: Well.... er.. Raggon. Where did you come from?

RAGGON: Toronto, Canada.

ETHAN: For the love of god, just tell us what you're all about!

RAGGON: I am a pro-boxer, who is super strong. Wanna see? {He lifts up Dolan's chair with Dolan in it}

ETHAN: Eh... I'm pretty sure he's hallow.

DOLAN: I am not! Now, Raggon. How are you associated with Sylar here?

RAGGON: I was his brute sidekick back when he was Raiku.

ETHAN: So what point do you have now?

RAGGON: We are still friends. {Picks up Ethan's chair with him in it}

ETHAN: Dude, I'm like 7 pounds. Anyway, can we talk to another one of your friends now?

RAGGON: YO BROTHER WITH IQ OF 310!

{Raggonix walks up.}

RAGGONIX: Hi, I am Raggonix and I am a geinus, I have a lab.

ETHAN: Wow. You spelled genius wrong.... How's that make you feel?

RAGGONIX: I didn't spell it wrong! Ethan, if you are so smart, what is pi? The math one.

ETHAN: 3.14159265358979323846 and so on. Dude, I freakin live with a computer....

DOLAN: It's true. But I doubt he'll ever have all my knowledge...

ETHAN: What makes you think you're smarter than Dolan?

RAGGONIX: What is his iq?

DOLAN: Infinite. I update my knowledge base every morning...

ETHAN: What now, pretty boy?

RAGGONIX: I live with a Demon. One who has lived since 1 AD. I know more than both of you combined.

ETHAN: You wanna bet!?

DOLAN: Eh. Ethan let's not-

ETHAN: My guy, Do here could take you any day!

RAGGONIX: Can he do this? {Raggonix puts his hand in the air, a lightning bolt strikes the audience.}

DOLAN: Why is it that like every interview we do, someone dies in the audience?

ETHAN: Who knows. Why would anyone want to do that anyway?

RAGGONIX: You still going to mess with me?

DOLAN: ...Well! I think we should maybe meet the last guy. Sylar, who would that be?

SYLAR: Girl, and Meg. {Meg runs up and does a flying kick. She lands on her hands and sits down}

ETHAN: ...Hello? What's up with you?

MEG: I am a pro-kickboxer.

ETHAN: ...Of course you are. How'd that happen?

MEG: I learned.

ETHAN: My god. Are these people really that simple? No backstory or anything!?

MEG: You want a beating, boy?

ETHAN: Sylar, buddy, I'm seriously about to send you to an all expense paid trip to Dr. Edwin VonHubanmonger's School Of Character Creation. Why not go into a little more detail with these guys?

MEG: KANSAS!

ETHAN: Alright. I'll go ahead and say we're done here.... Dolan?

DOLAN: Eh... okay. Anything you guys'd like to say before we cut to commercial?

RAIKU: DOGGIE! Actually, Ethan, expect a million bucks.

ETHAN: Wait what? Why?

SYLAR: I like you.

ETHAN: Ah sweet thanks man. But no, we seriously gotta end this now...

DOLAN: Yeah.... Anything else before we go?

SYLAR: See ya Ethan.

DOLAN: ...Alright then. Thanks for stopping by guys! And now, a word from our sponsors...

{end}