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Ethan & Dolan/Sylar
Summary
Sylar/Raiku/Gavino gets an interview along with Raggon, Raggonix, and Meg.
Transcript
ETHAN: -don't get it. Is he Gavino? Is he Raiku? Is he-
DOLAN: Oh! Welcome to Ethan & Dolan. Tonight, we have Sylar on the show.
ETHAN: No! He'll eat my brains..
DOLAN: Heh... funny. Come on out here, Sylar!
{Sylar walks out}
SYLAR: Hey guys.
ETHAN: That may have just been the most boring enterance I've seen yet. Couldn't you have done a little better?
{Sylar leaves then comes back, cutting off the heads of people and blowing stuff up}
SYLAR: Happy?
DOLAN: Ahh! You killed half the audience!
ETHAN: Yes, but it was much more dramatic. Well done.
DOLAN: But he-
ETHAN: Yeah like you've never killed anyone.... So what's up, Sylar?
SYLAR: Same old same old. Killing people for powers or cutting me off in a freeway.
DOLAN: Okay, we know you're not really Sylar from Heroes. What's really happening?
SYLAR: Hoe do you know? Also, I am having a email show starring me and my brothers Nathan and Peter.
ETHAN: Sure, good luck with that. Listen, Raiku, what's with the name changes?
SYLAR: I like different names.
ETHAN: I see that.
DOLAN: But, first you were Gavino, then Raiku, now Sylar? Where are you coming up with these names?
SYLAR: None of your buisness. Also, TEXAS!
ETHAN: Yeah, sorry we stopped with that. Texas texas texas. See nothing happens. Now explain your names...
SYLAR: Gavino is based off my real name, I don't know about Raiku and I like heroes.
DOLAN: Well now, it would seem that you have some "friends" out in the audience. Who would they be again?
SYLAR: Raggon, Raggonix, and Meg.
ETHAN: Gee thanks, how bout you call em down... maybe?
SYLAR: YO RAGGON!
{Raggon runs in.}
DOLAN: So what exactly are you, Raggon?
RAGGON: A fire controling human, why?
ETHAN: Oh. Of course! 'Cause that's soooo obvious.
DOLAN: Yeah, but what's your history?
RAGGON: What? I don't like Math, History, Science, or English. I only like Recess, PE, and Lunch.
ETHAN: {smacks head} How do we get these people on our show!?
DOLAN: I'm pretty sure the producer just set up an open sign-up.
ETHAN: Well.... er.. Raggon. Where did you come from?
RAGGON: Toronto, Canada.
ETHAN: For the love of god, just tell us what you're all about!
RAGGON: I am a pro-boxer, who is super strong. Wanna see? {He lifts up Dolan's chair with Dolan in it}
ETHAN: Eh... I'm pretty sure he's hallow.
DOLAN: I am not! Now, Raggon. How are you associated with Sylar here?
RAGGON: I was his brute sidekick back when he was Raiku.
ETHAN: So what point do you have now?
RAGGON: We are still friends. {Picks up Ethan's chair with him in it}
ETHAN: Dude, I'm like 7 pounds. Anyway, can we talk to another one of your friends now?
RAGGON: YO BROTHER WITH IQ OF 310!
{Raggonix walks up.}
RAGGONIX: Hi, I am Raggonix and I am a geinus, I have a lab.
ETHAN: Wow. You spelled genius wrong.... How's that make you feel?
RAGGONIX: I didn't spell it wrong! Ethan, if you are so smart, what is pi? The math one.
ETHAN: 3.14159265358979323846 and so on. Dude, I freakin live with a computer....
DOLAN: It's true. But I doubt he'll ever have all my knowledge...
ETHAN: What makes you think you're smarter than Dolan?
RAGGONIX: What is his iq?
DOLAN: Infinite. I update my knowledge base every morning...
ETHAN: What now, pretty boy?
RAGGONIX: I live with a Demon. One who has lived since 1 AD. I know more than both of you combined.
ETHAN: You wanna bet!?
DOLAN: Eh. Ethan let's not-
ETHAN: My guy, Do here could take you any day!
RAGGONIX: Can he do this? {Raggonix puts his hand in the air, a lightning bolt strikes the audience.}
DOLAN: Why is it that like every interview we do, someone dies in the audience?
ETHAN: Who knows. Why would anyone want to do that anyway?
RAGGONIX: You still going to mess with me?
DOLAN: ...Well! I think we should maybe meet the last guy. Sylar, who would that be?
SYLAR: Girl, and Meg. {Meg runs up and does a flying kick. She lands on her hands and sits down}
ETHAN: ...Hello? What's up with you?
MEG: I am a pro-kickboxer.
ETHAN: ...Of course you are. How'd that happen?
MEG: I learned.
ETHAN: My god. Are these people really that simple? No backstory or anything!?
MEG: You want a beating, boy?
ETHAN: Sylar, buddy, I'm seriously about to send you to an all expense paid trip to Dr. Edwin VonHubanmonger's School Of Character Creation. Why not go into a little more detail with these guys?
MEG: KANSAS!
ETHAN: Alright. I'll go ahead and say we're done here.... Dolan?
DOLAN: Eh... okay. Anything you guys'd like to say before we cut to commercial?
RAIKU: DOGGIE! Actually, Ethan, expect a million bucks.
ETHAN: Wait what? Why?
SYLAR: I like you.
ETHAN: Ah sweet thanks man. But no, we seriously gotta end this now...
DOLAN: Yeah.... Anything else before we go?
SYLAR: See ya Ethan.
DOLAN: ...Alright then. Thanks for stopping by guys! And now, a word from our sponsors...
{end}
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