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Ethan & Dolan/Cancelled
Summary
Ethan & Dolan is being cancelled. There's only one thing left to do...
Idea by Sylar
Transcript
{fade in from black with Ethan performing a monolouge on the interview set.}
ETHAN: But I guess I'll just never see her again!
{laughter from the audience}
ETHAN: Anyway, I guess it's time to start the show... again. I mean we do so many of these shows and it's just like-
DOLAN: {runs in, worried} Ethan!
ETHAN: Oh there you are. Listen, we gotta get this show started.
DOLAN: That's the thing! We don't have a show anymore!
ETHAN: Ehm... excuse me?
DOLAN: Look at this! {hands Ethan a piece of paper}
ETHAN: {reads. Mumbling} Dear Dolan... blah blah blah... we're sorry to say that your show.... yadda yadda yadda... being cancelled. What!? Cancelled?
DOLAN: Yeah. Apparently our show just isn't getting the ratings that the network wanted.
ETHAN: ...Network!? We're on a wiki for god's sakes. How can they be doing this?
DOLAN: Apparently we're being overseen by... ehm...
ETHAN: Please tell me it's not that Total Drama Island crap...
DOLAN: Well, yeah.
ETHAN: ...Fantastic...
DOLAN: Well no, listen. We can still keep our show, if we just get more ratings!
ETHAN: How exactly do you plan to catch anyone's attention on this wiki, without turning us into some Super Smash Bros parody?
DOLAN: {pulls out clipboard. Crosses something out} ...Okay. Well I've got other ideas too!
ETHAN: Yes?
{cut to a white screen}
DOLAN: {offscreen} Okay, we rename our show, "WUW Late Night Show" {"WUW Late Night Show" appears onscreen}
ETHAN: {offscreen} Ugh. I don't think I like this at all...
DOLAN: {offscreen} Well wait. Then, we'll allow other people to start being on our show! {sillohettes of other wiki users appear at the bottom of the screen}
ETHAN: {offscreen} Tell me you don't mean an inter-
DOLAN: {offscreen} Like an interactive!
ETHAN: {offscreen} NOOO!
{cut back to the set}
ETHAN: {angrilly} I swear, I'd rather kill myself.
DOLAN: Well, we could always just recolor some old video game sprites, which would surely gain their attentions.
ETHAN: Thanks but no.
DOLAN: Well what do you think we should do?
ETHAN: Oh I've got an idea!
{cut to a city building at night. A crowd has formed near the bottom. Ethan stands up at the top}
ETHAN: {yelling} It's not worth it! {close up} I can't live without the best of ratings!
{cut down to crowd. Dolan is standing at the front}
DOLAN: {yelling} Ethan! This is your idea?
ETHAN: {offscreen} I just can't take it anymore! {close up} Without the show, I have nothing!
WILL: {offscreen, aside from the action} Eh guys? {cut back to the set. Will is now beside Ethan} I think I may have a better idea...
ETHAN: You mean better than suicide?
WILL: ...much.
DOLAN: Well what is it then?
WILL: Well, whenever other shows start to lose ratings, they just bring a celebrity on to spruce things up a bit.
DOLAN: Oh, that sounds like it could actually work!
WILL: Awesome! I'll get on it!
{cut to Dolan behind his desk, and Ethan on his stool. Osvaldo sits in the chair}
ETHAN: This is the best celebrity we could get?
OSVALDO: Sí.
ETHAN: I don't even know how to speak, German!
DOLAN: Eh... Will. I don't think this is gonna work. Osvaldo, you would't happen to have any idea, would you?
OSVALDO: ¿Qué?
DOLAN: Ugh...
ETHAN: That's it. It's time for plan... {counts} It's time for Plan F.
DOLAN: And that would be?
{cut to Ethan in a New York style magazine cart with tons of E&D murchandise around him}"'
ETHAN: {in a New York accent} Murchandising! We gotcha Ethan wigs, your Dolan lab coats, even this exclusive Osvaldo snow globes! Get em while they're hot!
DOLAN: {moves on screen left, facing Ethan} ...great. {turns around towards camera.} Listen, people. Can you just give us a little more attention?
ETHAN: MURCHANDISING!
DOLAN: ...please?
{cut to black. In white letters it reads, "Fin."}
{end}
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