Ethan & Dolan/Im a bell

Summary

Im a bell gets interviewed

Transcript

ETHAN: Sup, fools. Dolan's stepped out for a bit so looks like your stuck with me. Now I guess it's time to bring on this "Bell" guy. Now I've heard he's pretty cool, but I will of course be the judge of that. Im a bell, get out here...

{a crack in the floor rips open. out comes much fire. The fires forms a humanoid, which transforms into Bell. The crack in the floor closes}

IM A BELL: Yo.

ETHAN: Holy crap, dude! That was... epic! Is that how you always enter a room?

IM A BELL: No. Sometimes I just normally use a door, sometimes I drop down from the ceiling, and sometimes I bust through a door and start beating the closest person to me to a bloody pulp. There are a lot more ways, but those are the only ones I can think of at the moment.

ETHAN: Awesome. Have you ever tried having a troup of trumpeteers play an epic tune, whilst a flock of doves is released as you enter from a door filled with blinding white light?

IM A BELL: ...No. Let me write that down. {gets out a notepad, starts writing} Trumpeteers... Doves... Blinding light... There. {puts away notepad}

ETHAN: I best be getting the link to that youtube vid. So, what else have you been up to?

IM A BELL: Killing people, smoking pot, killing people, sleeping with my wife, killing people, playing bootleg video games, and killing people. Oh, and did I mention I kill a lot of people?

ETHAN: Yeah, I think I got that... so. You seem to be a bell... what's... what's that like?

IM A BELL: Pretty nice. It's a very hard bell, so it protects my REAL body. You see, MANY years ago, I worked for an organization as a Head Chief of Science and Development or something. Anyways, I accidentally infused myself with the Liberty Bell, giving me this bell covering. I used to look like Stephen Colbert before the accident. Wanna see what I look like under this bell?

ETHAN: ..sure?

IM A BELL: Okay. {rips off the bell, revealing a humanoid body with the face of Davey Jones from The Pirates Of The Carribean. he has no arms, the flippers are actually two tentacles on his face. they are much larger than the other ones} Well?

ETHAN: DUDE! THAT IS SO.... AWESOME! Why don't you always stay like that?

IM A BELL: Because it's very sensitive.

{Sarah jumps onstage and tackles Bell}

IM A BELL: ...And my wife starts making out with me.

ETHAN: {twitches} Wow. Your wife's pretty.... nice looking. How.... how did you score a girl like that?

IM A BELL: i was mourning the loss of my first wife for so long my son set me up on a few blind dates. Sarah was the only good one. If I remember correctly, the other ones were a fat woman, an old woman, a child, a MALE BODYBUILDER, and a woman with VD.

ETHAN: Sounds interesting... I guess. What's your son like?

IM A BELL: His name's Tracy. That's him over there.

{pan over to the audience, to show Tracy}

ETHAN: {snickers} ...Tracy?

TRACY: It's a male name in Britain, mutha{bleep}!

ETHAN: {Angry} HEY! YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR CRAPPY BRITISH COUNTRY! {calms down} So, how'd you get a crappy british son, again?

IM A BELL: Well, my first wife was British.

ETHAN: ...loser. Well enough about your family... What's new with you on the wiki? Any new fanstuffs or something like that?

IM A BELL: Well, me and Badstar are making a remake of our old and crappy fanstuff, Bell Quest. We're also working on two shows, Gilligan 'n' Tracy and Unholy Parenthood. I'm also working on Records of Bell, and three other shows currently on an indefinite hiatus because I pretty much forgot about them.

ETHAN: And which one would you call your favorite?

IM A BELL: Records of Bell.

ETHAN: And that is???

IM A BELL: It's a show about me, Sarah, Tracy, my pet, Bling, and my Skullbuggy, Don Skull.

ETHAN: And you just... what? Stand around?

IM A BELL: No. We do some random things, such as fighting eachother, traveling through Nintendo Inc. to find Sarah, who was captured by the Yakuza, etc. Currently we're stuck in the internet, so I have no idea how we're here, considering it's a reality show.

ETHAN: Well that sounds pretty cool. I should check that out some time. Any other cool stuff you're doing on the wiki?

IM A BELL: Well, I am one of the many writers of Wikihood III.

VOICE: You mean I am.

{camera pans over to show Unholy Tracy}

IM A BELL: ...Get out of here. You're causing many, many simultaneous paradoxes.

ETHAN: Please... elaborate.

IM A BELL: That is Unholy Tracy. He is a fusion of both me and Tracy, and he is causing four paradoxes at once. One; He should not be in this time. Two; He cannot be in the same room as Tracy. Three; He cannot be in the same room as me. Four; I actually don't know of his existence.

ETHAN: So... are you really this twisted in the real world?

IM A BELL: If you mean the person who writes this stuff, then, somewhat, I guess. ...You know, I'm waiting for you to say "You're a very silly man and I don't want to interview you".

ETHAN: You are a silly man, and no I don't want to interview you... but I have to. The producers say it's a must... So... whatcha wanna talk about?

IM A BELL: Hmm... I don't know.

ETHAN: So... are we done here?

IM A BELL: Hopefully. ...Oh, um, by the way, Unholy Tracy is narcoleptic. He's probably asleep.

ETHAN: Good, I don wanna talk with him anyway... So, anything before we close here?

IM A BELL: Um... Yes. Unholy Tracy sleep-kills. Good luck! {he, Sarah, and Tracy warp off}

ETHAN: Oh well that's exciting... not. G'night everyone...

{fade to a closet door, closed, with a board nailed across it}

DOLAN: {behind door} Hello? {knocks} Ethan? I'd like to interview Im a Bell now! Hello? Aww.... crap.

{end}