(even if you aren't vegan)

Blue Lasermail

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New & Updates

May 28th, 2010: BLemail 14 is out!
May 25th, 2010: The award-winning BLemails of the HRFwiki have immigrated to the WUW! Dang, this is gonna take some getting used to.

Current eeeeemails

14. environment - NEW!
13. comic book
12. heist
11. parade
10. deleted
9. musical
8. brotherly love
7. debt
6. war
5. candy
4. uniforms
3. flying machine
2. favorites
1. trademarked

Wanna email Blue Laser? Send your email to [email protected] or drop your message by The P. O. Box!


Blue Laser

A not-so-elite criminal mastermind intent on ruling the world, crushing the Cheat Commandos, and blowing up stuff. He has numerous minions, including the sultry New Bad Guy Character. Despite his determination and powerful forces, his schemes tend to fail miserably. Like, all the time. His latest plan is to crush the Cheat Commandos using his new, "high-tech" computer, the Blasty 987. Oh yeah, and he still lives with his Nana.

Cheat Commandos

Despite slacking off, playing video games with the enemy, and spending their budget on pizza, the C.C.dos are always able to crush Blue Laser's plans like a fly. Their leader, Gunhaver, is Blue Laser's nemesis ever since some childhood incident. Don't ask.



The local repairman that helped hook up the Blasty 987 for Blue Laser. He runs his own business, "Lemmy's Repair", and lives next door to Nana. He speaks with an unidentifiable accent and is generally uninterested in his customers' satisfaction.


New Bad Guy Girl Character

Usually referred to as The New Girl, she's Blue Laser's singular female minion. Despite Laser's attempts to get her attention, New Girl finds him to be nothing more than the creepy dude that supplies her with a pay check. In truth, she's really more interested in Gunhaver.


The Topplegangers

A gang of shady missionaries mercenaries led by none other than Crackotage's evil twin brother, Subtlefuge. They hide away in the swamp doing all types of shady business. Don't ask what type of shady business they do. No one really knows for sure. Though Reynold suspects that it has to do with air fresheners.


Redd Laser

Redd is Blue Laser's brother. He aspires to be a writer, despite the fact that his writing is usually terrible. In brotherly love, he is revealed to be about five minutes older than Blue Laser.




Blasty 987

Blue Laser's first and current computer. It was installed by Lemmy in trademarked. Its features include:

  • Typing
  • Clicking
  • Typing and clicking at the same time
  • Checking email

It also comes with a two-second money back guarantee.

Emails checked on the Blasty 987: 14