Blue Lasermail/parade

Blue Laser hosts the First-Annual Blue Laser Style Parade.

Cast (in order of appearance): Blue Laser, New Bad Guy Girl Character, Blue Laser Minions, Blue Laser Babies, Redd

Places: Computer Room, The Street, Nana's Backyard, Redd's Room (easter egg)

Computer: Blasty 987

Date: Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

Page Title: Sponsored by the Blasty 987!!

Transcript

BLUE LASER: The views expressed in this email most definitely represent those of Blue Laser. {brings up an email}

Dear Blue Laser,

If you were to make a parade in your own honor after taking over the world or doing a million cartwheels or something, what kinda cool floats and stuff would you have?
Sincerely,

Clubs Deuce

BLUE LASER: {typing} Well, Clubble Deuce, you're in luck. Guess who just won the gold medal in the Sunny Morning Breakfast contest for the third year in a row! That's right, Gunhaver. But guess who stole the medal and blew up Gunhaver's waffle and bacon recipe five minutes later! That's right, me. So my minions are holding a parade downtown in my honor! It'll be great!

{Cut to the street corner. The Laser Tracks stand has been re-dubbed "Commentary Box." There is a microphone sitting atop it.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Presenting the First-Annual Blue Laser Style Parade. {the parade's logo appears and shortly after fades away} Here come our hosts, Blue Laser and the New Girl.

{Blue Laser walks in and takes a seat at the stand. The New Girl follows and stands next to it.}

THE NEW GIRL: I'm not sitting in that thing.

BLUE LASER: Suit yourself. {grabbing the microphone} Welcome, folks, to the First Annual Blue Laser Style Parade! I'm your host, Blue Laser!

THE NEW GIRL: And I'm your co-host.

BLUE LASER: Without further ado, let's get this thing a-rolling!

{Cut to a full view of the street. Two Blue Laser Minions enter wearing marching band hats. Cut to a close-up of the minions.}

THE NEW GIRL: {offscreen} And starting the parade as always is the Blue Laser Marching.. err.. I guess just the Blue Laser Marching, since someone couldn't afford instruments.

{Cut back to the commentary box.}

BLUE LASER: Hey! Don't go blaming me! Have you seen the price on paper towel these days? You wouldn't believe it!

{Cut to the minions again.}

BLUE LASER: You guys just... keep on marching.

{Cut back to a full view of the street. The minions walk offscreen, and are followed by a minion carrying a giant Blue Laser balloon.}

BLUE LASER: Now that's a parade balloon! It captures all my best features!

THE NEW GIRL: Including your enormous size?

{Cut to the commentary box.}

BLUE LASER: Oh, that is it. Let's just see what I say when your giant parade balloon comes by!

THE NEW GIRL: I don't have a balloon in this parade.

BLUE LASER: Well... remind me to add one next year!

{Cut to the street again. The giant balloon in followed by the Air Laser, which is driven by another Blue Laser Minion. It carries a banner that reads "Call Lemmy for repairs and priced electronics!" followed by Lemmy's (lengthy) number, as seen in trademarked.}

THE NEW GIRL: And next up is the Air Laser!

BLUE LASER: When did they get that working again?

THE NEW GIRL: I wasn't aware they had.

{The Lemmy's phone number is still going by on the banner. Cut to the commentary box.}

BLUE LASER: Okay, let's take bets. Which will happen first? That freakin' phone number ends, or the plane malfunctions and crashes into the audience?

THE NEW GIRL: There isn't any audience.

{Cut back to the street. The banner finally finishes going by.}

BLUE LASER: And we have a winner!

{Cut back to the commentary box. Blue Laser pulls out a bell and rings it, then tosses it offscreen.}

BLUE LASER: You heard that sound, folks! It's time for the completely non-parade related dancing routine!

THE NEW GIRL: Let's cut to our stage.

{Cut to Nana's backyard. The Blue Laser Babies are both sitting in a hammock. One of them rolls to the right.}

BLUE LASER BABY 1: Goo-geh.

BLUE LASER BABY 2: Goo-weh.

{One of the babies rolls to the edge. Cut back to the commentary box just before he falls off.}

BLUE LASER: O-okay! Give it up for the Blue Laser Babies! Next up is a favorite of mine.

{Cut to the street. A parade float comes in featuring cardboard cutouts of Blue Laser as various figures from American history. The cutouts feature Blue Laser wearing a powdered wig and holding what appears to be the U.S. Constitution, Blue Laser as "Boss" Tweed, and Blue Laser on the moon.}

THE NEW GIRL: That is entirely unnecessary.

BLUE LASER: Nonsense! It's only right my minions know of my many contributions!

THE NEW GIRL: But "Blue Tweed?"

BLUE LASER: {angrily} I like that one!

THE NEW GIRL: Fine then.

{The "historic" float goes offscreen. Cut to the commentary box.}

BLUE LASER: Well, we've come to the end of this parade. And closing it off is good ol'-

{Cut to the street. Another float comes in. Redd's bed is on it, with Redd still sleeping in it.}

BLUE LASER: -jolly St. Napping Redd!

{Cut to a close-up of the float. Redd wakes up.}

REDD: Where am I? Why am I moving? Blue! What did you do?

BLUE LASER: {offscreen} Say hello to the camera, Redd!

REDD: Get me off of here!

BLUE LASER: {offscreen} Buh-bye, Redd!

{The float goes offscreen. The parade's logo again appears on the screen.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} This has been the First Annual Blue Laser Parade. Stay tuned for the Low-Pedigree Worldwide National State Dog Show. {the parade's logo fades into the dog show's logo} Or go make a turkey or something.

{Cut back to the Blasty. Blue Laser sits down.}

BLUE LASER: {typing} There you have it, Doug! Be sure to join us next year! We're already investing in shaving cream to make our jolly saint even more authentic! It'll be can't-miss programming!

{The Laserjet Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on "jolly saint" to see what happens later that night.

{Blue Laser enters Redd's room.}
BLUE LASER: Hey, Redd. You seen my- Redd? Huh. Where'd he run off to?
{Cut to the street. It's now late at night, and Redd is still on the parade float, which is still moving.}
REDD: Does anyone know how to make this thing stop!?

Fun Facts

• "Clubble Deuce" is a reference to the Double Deuce.
• The entire parade is a parody of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
  • The "Low-Pedigree Worldwide National State Dog Show" is also a parody of the National Dog Show, which airs after the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.
• William M. Tweed (or "Boss" Tweed) was a 19th century politician notable for stealing millions of dollars from taxpayers.