Ethan & Dolan/Cancelled

Summary

Ethan & Dolan is being cancelled. There's only one thing left to do...

Idea by Sylar

Transcript

{fade in from black with Ethan performing a monolouge on the interview set.}

ETHAN: But I guess I'll just never see her again!

{laughter from the audience}

ETHAN: Anyway, I guess it's time to start the show... again. I mean we do so many of these shows and it's just like-

DOLAN: {runs in, worried} Ethan!

ETHAN: Oh there you are. Listen, we gotta get this show started.

DOLAN: That's the thing! We don't have a show anymore!

ETHAN: Ehm... excuse me?

DOLAN: Look at this! {hands Ethan a piece of paper}

ETHAN: {reads. Mumbling} Dear Dolan... blah blah blah... we're sorry to say that your show.... yadda yadda yadda... being cancelled. What!? Cancelled?

DOLAN: Yeah. Apparently our show just isn't getting the ratings that the network wanted.

ETHAN: ...Network!? We're on a wiki for god's sakes. How can they be doing this?

DOLAN: Apparently we're being overseen by... ehm...

ETHAN: Please tell me it's not that Total Drama Island crap...

DOLAN: Well, yeah.

ETHAN: ...Fantastic...

DOLAN: Well no, listen. We can still keep our show, if we just get more ratings!

ETHAN: How exactly do you plan to catch anyone's attention on this wiki, without turning us into some Super Smash Bros parody?

DOLAN: {pulls out clipboard. Crosses something out} ...Okay. Well I've got other ideas too!

ETHAN: Yes?

{cut to a white screen}

DOLAN: {offscreen} Okay, we rename our show, "WUW Late Night Show" {"WUW Late Night Show" appears onscreen}

ETHAN: {offscreen} Ugh. I don't think I like this at all...

DOLAN: {offscreen} Well wait. Then, we'll allow other people to start being on our show! {sillohettes of other wiki users appear at the bottom of the screen}

ETHAN: {offscreen} Tell me you don't mean an inter-

DOLAN: {offscreen} Like an interactive!

ETHAN: {offscreen} NOOO!

{cut back to the set}

ETHAN: {angrilly} I swear, I'd rather kill myself.

DOLAN: Well, we could always just recolor some old video game sprites, which would surely gain their attentions.

ETHAN: Thanks but no.

DOLAN: Well what do you think we should do?

ETHAN: Oh I've got an idea!

{cut to a city building at night. A crowd has formed near the bottom. Ethan stands up at the top}

ETHAN: {yelling} It's not worth it! {close up} I can't live without the best of ratings!

{cut down to crowd. Dolan is standing at the front}

DOLAN: {yelling} Ethan! This is your idea?

ETHAN: {offscreen} I just can't take it anymore! {close up} Without the show, I have nothing!

WILL: {offscreen, aside from the action} Eh guys? {cut back to the set. Will is now beside Ethan} I think I may have a better idea...

ETHAN: You mean better than suicide?

WILL: ...much.

DOLAN: Well what is it then?

WILL: Well, whenever other shows start to lose ratings, they just bring a celebrity on to spruce things up a bit.

DOLAN: Oh, that sounds like it could actually work!

WILL: Awesome! I'll get on it!

{cut to Dolan behind his desk, and Ethan on his stool. Osvaldo sits in the chair}

ETHAN: This is the best celebrity we could get?

OSVALDO: Sí.

ETHAN: I don't even know how to speak, German!

DOLAN: Eh... Will. I don't think this is gonna work. Osvaldo, you would't happen to have any idea, would you?

OSVALDO: ¿Qué?

DOLAN: Ugh...

ETHAN: That's it. It's time for plan... {counts} It's time for Plan F.

DOLAN: And that would be?

{cut to Ethan in a New York style magazine cart with tons of E&D murchandise around him}"'

ETHAN: {in a New York accent} Murchandising! We gotcha Ethan wigs, your Dolan lab coats, even this exclusive Osvaldo snow globes! Get em while they're hot!

DOLAN: {moves on screen left, facing Ethan} ...great. {turns around towards camera.} Listen, people. Can you just give us a little more attention?

ETHAN: MURCHANDISING!

DOLAN: ...please?

{cut to black. In white letters it reads, "Fin."}

{end}