(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/RTOD/SSXMails/BHZ
Welcome...to a look into the past! Back to a series that started on November 13, 2003... on Burning Horizon's Homestar Runner Fan-Forum...
LIGHTNING GUY: What's with all the pauses? Does this kid have asthma or something?NAMINE: Well... ellipses are often used as dramatic pauses... but they're also worth more than just dramatic pauses...SSX-Mails! That's right! SSXMails have been around longer than I've been on this wiki!
MR. CLOUD: This is a pretty enthusiastic fella.Have a look...
SSX-Mails on BHZ
But, I'm not the first one to make emails on BHZ...
Two days earlier...November 11, 2003...Depressio's Sadmails were born. It became very popular, and on January 30 of this very year, the final Sadmail, Sadmail # 200, was released. Thanks to Depressio, SSXMails stayed on BHZ for quite a while, and now rests here.LIGHTNING GUY AND MR. CLOUD: Screw you, Depressio!22 SSXMails (and counting) were made and finished on BHZ, and I think it's a good idea to show them here. Emails 1-15 are so short, I made one page with ALL of them! Hered we's going!
LIGHTNING GUY: Hered we's going...
MR. CLOUD: I think my brain just exploded.NOTE: THESE ARE OLD EMAILS, NOT COUNTING SSXMAIL 16. WHEN I MADE THESE, I WAS NOT EVEN ON THIS WEBSITE.
Characters:
SSX-The host of the email show thingy.MR. CLOUD: I love your sophisticated wording.A clever hedgehog-type thing who's all yellow. Oh, and he's got a weird X on his forehead that gives him unlimited powers.
LIGHTNING GUY: Unlimited powers? Those be fightin' words!
MR. CLOUD: A-Mary-to-the-Sue.
LIGHTNING GUY: You're married to the zoo?
Also, he can levitate. Pretty cool, if I say so myself.
Mr. Teatime-An evil, flying turkey with sunglasses. And yes, I know that makes no sense.LIGHTNING GUY: Darn. You got me.But that's what he is. A flying turkey who wears sunglasses.
Darkest_Raven-An evil girl who wears a robe, and has telepathic powers. She usually works with Teatime. I bet you can't guess why.
MR. CLOUD: I bet you can't get me to care.Da_Burninator-A cool, S-shaped, brown dragon. He's pretty cool. Perhaps too cool.
LIGHTNING GUY: {puts on sunglasses} Too cool for school, yo.Or maybe it's just because he has some cool poses.
Depressio-A big, bloated gray elephant with soolnds, a sash, a gray hat, kinda big eyes, and huge gloves. He's pretty cool, but maybe not as cool as DB.
Homestar of Light-A golden, shiny Homestar. He's usually like Colonel Homestar,LIGHTNING GUY: I know who this guy is.NOXIGAR: Other people might not
NAMINE: Wouldn't it be fairly easy to tell who Homestar Runner was, though?but other times, he's as stupid as ever. And he probably has a few powers and magic tricks.
PokeHomsar-A super intelligent Homsar with some guy's hat. He always gets ticked off by other people. Always.
MR. CLOUD: The colorful range of characters here doesn't make this surprising.Coach Z-Take a guess. Yes, he's the H*R Coach Z.
LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, I thought he was Bruce Willis.Just check H*R.com for details on him. Not much to say here.
Gir-LIGHTNING GUY: Kill me now.A crazy robot in a dog suit. It's kinda obvious he's not a dog, since he's got a zipper on his back, he's got stitches all over, and of course, STANDS UP. Not very dog-like. Oh, and he has blue hair. Gotta have the blue hair.
MR. CLOUD: No you don't. STOP DESTROYING MY CHILDHOOD!NOXIGAR: It makes me wish I had a childhood to destroy.
NAMINE: I think it got destroyed on the way to the WUW. Maybe the WUW makes a good burial site for it.Chwoka-Shapeshifter who can turn into anything he wants, and is also extremly smart. He lives in his own house, has to not disturb SSX with more people.
LIGHTNING GUY: I now regret bringing this back.
- 1-15
- 16. The Lost Email...COMING NOT RIGHT THIS SECOND, I SUPPOSE!
NAMINE: We're skipping that. One-line about the email not coming back isn't riffable, which made John's riffing that one-line wholly superfluous.
- 17. Movie
- 18. Zelda
- 19. An EMAIL? For Real?
- 191/2. "Holiday Email 1"
NAMINE: Yeah, we're skipping this one, too.
NOXIGAR: Too short. Riffs were just bland.
- 193/4. Youroppositesfightyouween!
MR. CLOUD: This guy is definitely screwing with us.NOXIGAR: Yes, a guy who's deleted an e-mail show trying to retire it is definitely screwing with you, rather than just trying to move on from something he wrote ages ago.NOXIGAR: Skipping this one, too.
NAMINE: You're not copping out, are you?
NOXIGAR: Yeah, it's also not as good as I used to think it was. I can see how the value of Sandbox Battels died from it, actually.
NOXIGAR: No. But, it gives me motivation to skip John's riffs of Green Grass and High Tides Forever, seeing as if he can't finish his riff of "Youroppositesfightyouween," then he genuinely wouldn't be able to endure GGAHTF.
NAMINE: So you've finally admitted that Green Grass is just too overwhelming to riff?
