RiffText/RTOD/SSXMails/BHZ/Someone New, Conspiracies, Super Bowl XXXIX, and Cliffhangers Together at Last

WILL BE FORMATTED LATER

A new character has been added.

LIGHTNING GUY: We don't have enough of those.

Chwoka:Shapeshifter who can turn into anything he wants, and is also extremly smart.He lives in his own house, has to not disturb SSX with more people.

MR. CLOUD: And that's the only reason he lives in his own house! Because SSX didn't take him in! Whatever he or anyone else tells you is a damn lie!

SSXMail 23: Someone New, Conspiracies, Super Bowl XXXIX, and Cliffhangers Together at Last

LIGHTNING GUY: Hear that?

NOXIGAR: No.

We're about to witness a piece of history.
MR. CLOUD: Super Bowl XXXIX? More like prehistory.

LIGHTNING GUY: Your perception of time disturbs me.

SSX takes a wald down the street.

MR. CLOUD: JUST TAKIN MAHSELF A WALD DOWN DA STREET

It's a walk,

MR. CLOUD: WALD

even if he's floating 2 inches off the ground. He finds a yard with no house in it. As soon as SSX walks onto it, a house somehow rises from the ground, and launches SSX all the way back to his house with a large thud. After a couple of minutes, the doorbell rings.

SSX opens the door, to find Shadow Sonic X.

SSX: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!1onetwothreefourfive!1!!!!!1111

LIGHTNING GUY:

NOXIGAR: There are honest times where I wish talking in .gif images on this Hell-site was ever funny.

SSX passes out,

MR. CLOUD: That poor little girl just couldn't handle it.

and Shadow Sonic X is revealed to be SSX's neighbor, Chwoka.

{Chwoka is then revealed to be SSX's lowlife bully, Haterade.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Ain't I a stinker?

NOXIGAR: No, just insufferable.

2 hours later...

SSX wakes up.

SSX: You're gonna die, Shadow Sonic X!

SSX Punches Chwoka

LIGHTNING GUY: Who, by the way, was just standing there for the last 2 hours. Nothing unreasonable there.

as hard as he can, and Chwoka falls down the stairs to SSX's house, ending on the cement driveway. He slowly gets back to the door.

SSX: Sorry about that. I'm SSX.

Chwoka: I'm Chwoka.

MR. CLOUD: And don't worry the fact that you just slugged me across the street! It could have happened to anybody!

SSX: Hey, Choka-wa. Wait, I should check my email.

LIGHTNING GUY: I'd ask you if you were alright and everything, but I'm too busy not caring.

a>run_SSX_Mail.exe

Dear Super Sonic X,

Where does the paper come from, did Gir implant a printer on top of your computer or something?

Signed, Chwoka

a>Well, Chuhhwookacuh, it's all a secret.

MR. CLOUD: Yeah, that'll work.

And, I probably should stop the camera from zooming in on the secret, since it's right above me.

In a room above SSX, millions of little men are forced

LIGHTNING GUY: By an invisible hand

to take letter stamps, paste them on a paper, carry them to a paper dropper, put the paper in, and walk a mile to the drop paper button.

Little man: I don't think I'm gonna make it!

Other little man: I'm gonna fall apart if I have to go that button again!

MR. CLOUD: A broken midget. What an amusing thought.

Little man 3: This is torture!

SSX: Hey! Keep it down up there!

LIGHTNING GUY: Don't make me use my invisible whip!

HoL: YOU keep it down, loudman!

PokeHomsar: Everybody keep it down! I've almost finished my super robot

MR. CLOUD: Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!

clone android!

HoL: What is your malfunction, tubby?

LIGHTNING GUY: Steal Homestar's lines:

NOXIGAR: "What is youw malfunction?" is a Homestar line. He never added ", tubby?" to it, making "HoL"'s line semi-stolen at best.

Make millions!

First, you ask me for a bannana cheese monkey on Mars, and now you're making robots?

Poke Homsar: That means you, too, golide!

MR. CLOUD: Go lide in bed until you're feeling better.

Meanwhile, on a TV...

TV announcer guy:Next, Super Bowl XXXIX! But first, five hours of The Simpsons! Only on Wolf!

LIGHTNING GUY: The slightly less attractive

NOXIGAR: He says, as if Fox could be topped in unattractiveness as a channel.

version of Fox!

MR. CLOUD: remember that show developmented arrest i think it was called

6 hours later...

Sportscaster: He's almost there! He's gonna make it! He's going...going...TOUCHDOWN! THE GAME IS OVER! A TOUCHDOWN WITH 1 SECOND LEFT! THE SUPERBOWL IS OVER! THE WINNER IS...

Newscaster: We interrupt this brodcast for a breaking news buliten.

Newscaster: The English language has just died. Again.

SSX: Did anyone see who won?

Everyone else: Nope.

LIGHTNING GUY: They were too busy discussing the latest Snickers commercial to notice.
THE MOST INTERESTING CLOUD IN THE WORLD: I don't always read crap, but when I do, it's Ssux Mails.

Newscaster: Tonight, 50 hot air balloons crashed into the water at the same exact moment.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's why you don't drink and fly, kids.

A picture of 50 hot air balloons appears. After 10 seconds, an animated GIF of water appears.

The next day...

SSX: I've got a feeling that someone did that on purpose. I've got to find out who! But... who?

MR. CLOUD: My money's on the Oompa Loompas.

To be continued....