(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/MFT3K
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< RiffText
This includes uses of all the best words and homosexuals of a deviant nature. |
Apologies in advance, you baby.
You big baby.
NOXIGAR: That apology's not legitimate.
Contents
EPISODES
Season 1 (Doctor Brainfreeze fucking sucks.)
- Bell Quest — SPOOK CLIFF
NOXIGAR: Is the best meme ever.
- Raiku Email — I know when I see a baby, the first thing I do is interrogate it.
NOXIGAR: "MFT3K: We Describe Raiku in a Nutshell"
- Records of Bell — Bell was a self-important author surrogate who's convinced he's the best writer who ever lived, Bling was a retard cat-monster that would probably eat its own foot given enough time and condiments, Tracy's an Anglophile who still thinks the fedora-trench coat combo looks good on any living human being, Sarah's just another Bell but with enough bosom to strangle somebody if they happened to fall in, Don Skull's an obnoxious prick, Daigo's got a robot nutbag and that's unsettling by itself, these two new idiots are from a Jethro Tull song for Christ's sake, Skully B.'s a handsome man with a surprising amount of vomit in his system... oh, speaking of which. {dry heave} Nope, I'm out. Oh, but let me go on. The author has wasted our time with this abortion of a "comedy" series which has about as much comedy as a morgue has healthy individuals, completely one-dimensional characters with absolutely nothing mitigating their existence and no merit to their personalities whatsoever, the absolute worst setting you can have for any work of fiction, plots that are nonexistant—and on the very rare occasion that they do have a plot, it's just another goddamn fight scene... and have I mentioned the humor? It's the comedy equivalent of a miscarriage; something so awful and tragic that you never want to speak of it again—it's the kind of humor that even 4chan would never laugh at, the kind of jokes that wouldn't cut it in the darkest of comedies, slapstick that barely even qualifies as such; genital mutilation, kicking, punching, none of this is funny! This fiction is the text equivalent of the Holocaust; it's awful, it's disastrous, it's a tragedy, it's a crime against humanity... Bell deserves to have his computer, his paper... anything that he can transcribe ANY sort of writing or art on to, it needs to be destroyed at this very instant. I never want to see his writing again. Until he actually pays attention in English class and doesn't draw huge tits all over everything, I want him never to approach a keyboard again in his life. I never want to see him pick up a pencil... I don't even want him to think about writing.
NOXIGAR: So a Bell-guy doesn't have the greatest writing material. He'll develop in a few years! He's not J.K. Rowling, George Lucas, or M. Night Shamalan. Therefore, he's good to go in terms of halfway decency when writing! Come on, Bellstrom! Write some more stuff! Show these chumps you're not to be messed with!
Season 2 (Once More, With NachoMan!)
NOXIGAR: {imitating Dr. Brainfreeze} Meh, we really couldn't get Feeling to get on our show. So we picked up this schmuck instead. HAVE FUN YOU SUCKERS.
- Zarel Emails — YOU IN THE DRINK
NOXIGAR: GET IN MY MOUTH
- X Is The New Y — this got gritty fast
- Some Early 1-Up Emails definitely
NOXIGAR: I'm not riffing anything else from this season since their riffs on those two things are just too boring to jeer at. Also, one of the original works is dated enough where their riffs are at least capable of showing how dated said thing is (but their riff of Samtheegg isn't even complete, and I already erred in riffing incomplete riffs in Green Grass and High Tides). On the other hand, I really really don't care about Pokemon: Strong Bad Version and have deleted the original myself as evidence thereof.
Season 3 (The Gritty Reboot)
- The Adventures of Domo and T Pedo / Forsythe And Friends — wow. I literally have nothing to say about any of this. I'm just staring blankly as I scroll down the page waiting for something to jump out at me, and nothing does. it's all just the same random wacky humor in all caps, and apparently it's trying to be bad on purpose, but it's just BAD. like, I am seriously getting a headache right now. Even shit like Spirit, where it was long as hell and Japany and stupid and cliche, at least there was stuff to make fun of! riffing on this is like, it's like picking on a retard. I just-- I, what is this supposed to be? What is happening here? Did they really think any of this stuff was funny? I mean they must have, but god! Holy I mean my god jesus this is sickeningly awful. I... I don't know if I can go on with this. You know what I would rather do than read this? I would rather have every single piece of literature I ever read from now on be horrible furry scat porn. I would rather lose my ability to comprehend written text. I would sacrifice a newborn child if it meant that horrible writing like this would never be allowed to exist.
NOXIGAR: Oh hey another pointless rant in lieu of actually decent one-liners.
NOXIGAR: This is also the only MFT3K Season 3 thing worth looking at, as the other riffs from this are just boring and unfunny due to either being similar to the riffs of which I've already mocked, or relying on "you had to be there a la IRC" to not be funny anyway.
NOXIGAR: And that's even if I bother with the fact they're mocking Im a bell again. Hardly a wonder.
Season 4 (I Guess)
- Are we going to finish Aruseus Emails? Not likely but by God we'll try.
NOXIGAR: {singing} TO CARRRRRRRRYYYY ONNNNNNNNNNNN
NOXIGAR: Although honestly they didn't even come close to finishing their riffs of Aruseus Emails, which would only be me comparing their riffs of that to Zarel Emails, which were terrible.
Lost Episodes
NOXIGAR: I liked Green Grass. High Tides Forever... not so much.
NOXIGAR: Their other lost episodes either don't exist or are "Lost Episodes" for a reason. And they don't even finish the riff on Green Grass and High Tides Forever.
OTHER
- Before you ask any questions please resort to the FAQ thanks
- Who... who is it? Who... who is it? Who... who is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?
- when bluebry goes to strip clubs (which is very often we can assure you) he likes to look at the poll dancers
NOXIGAR: Except Bluebry does not do either of those two things.
- oh we also won this thing twice
NOXIGAR: Both times were rigged.
CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
NOXIGAR: Looks like the feds missed this.
