(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Bell Quest
Host Segment 1
{Open up to the concession and tickets room. Chwoka walks in from the side, then jumps and turns.}
CHWOKA: Oh, hey, the camera's finally working. Just in time, too!
BLUEBRY: So, Chwoka, mind explaining to everyone what we're going to do?
CHWOKA: I honestly have no idea, but it apparently has something to do with fried brains...and movie theaters.
{Pan: left. Behind the concession camper, pops up Dr. Brainfreeze}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Yes, this is a bit of a....{eyes dart the room. Hands are put together and rubbed} psycology experiment {chuckles}
CHWOKA: Wait a minute, you're Dr. Brainfreeze! {pause} I thought ice was your-
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Hey, I'm a doctor also!
BLUEBRY: Righto, can we start this ho or what?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: You actually want to?
CHWOKA: {uncaring of what Bluebry is saying} Wait, where's Skullbuggy?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Frozen.
BLUEBRY: He's a dumpface, let's start this now so I can vomit and go home.
DR. BRAINFREEZE: You're not going home.
BLUEBRY: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Well, if I let you go, you could recuperate. Plus, I wouldn't be able to monitor you.
CHWOKA: ...frozen?
{Bluebry turns blue}
CHWOKA: You monster! You made Bluebry sad!
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {turns to the audience} We'll be right back.
CHWOKA: Oh, we're on TV too!?
{end segment}
{fade in. Chwoka patting a very cold SkullB, who has a hot cocoa and a blanket.}
CHWOKA: There we go, buddy.
SKULLB: So it turns out I wasn't able to do the Polar Plunge. The damndest thing, right? ... Oh, wait. No. That's not right, is it?
CHWOKA: No. You were shoved in a minifridge. That is not the polar plunge.
{Dr Brainfreeze enters, scribbling down on a notepad.}
DR. BRAINFREEZE: {muttering} Polar Plunge, must remember that.. {puts the notepad away and enters a military stance.} I suppose you...three? Where's Bluebry? He needs to hear this.
CHWOKA: In the bathroom.
{Bluebry returns}
BLUEBRY: They have foam soap and it is magnificent.
SKULLB: Really? I love that stuff! ... So who's this old person again?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: How do you not know me? I'm Dr. Brainfreeze - famous supervillian!
BLUEBRY: Where did you receive your M.D.?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Once I discovered the cure for aging, I went to every college in the United States and a couple across the pond. Would you like to read my- Why am I making small talk with my lab rats!?
CHWOKA: Your laboratory is a very smelly theater?
SKULLB: Speaking of, do you have any popcorn? Like, with the yellow goop that smells like butter?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Ah, movie popcorn. Which brings me to my next point - movies. Our experiment is about the worst fanfics on the HRFwiki community.
CHWOKA: But that doesn't make much se-
DR. BRAINFREEZE: It's also about isolation. Today's experiment is called "Bell Quest", a fanstuff full of in-jokes and bad composition.
CHWOKA: Are they searching for a bell?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Yes, and that bell is also a cat.
SKULLB: What would you call a furry bell? A bellie?
CHWOKA: Oh god, furries.
DR. BRAINFREEZE: You know what's worse than furries?
CHWOKA: What?
DR. BRAINFREEZE: Get into the theater.
SKULLB: Oh, alright. Be that way.
{end segment}
MOVIE
{Chwoka walks in, carrying SkullB. He sets him down to his left.}
CHWOKA: Everything's better with poop!
SKULLB: Here's a tip for all you aspiring comedians--add exclamation points! They're funny!!!!
BLUEBRY: Except cyanide capsules, the output is still the same. Speaking of which, where did I put them...
Welcome to Bell Quest. No, it ain't a interactive game.
CHWOKA: And ain't ain't a word.
TECHNO: {reading dictionary} Aint 1. Nonstandard except in some dialects . am not; are not; is not.
2. Nonstandard . have not; has not; do not; does not; did not.
It's just a fanfic by belstrnnmmvnmn & Badstar
BLUEBRY: I'd rather it be an interactive.
SKULLB: {imitating Bell} Eeeeeh, it's just a fanfiiiiic.
SKULLB: AAH WHAT IS THAT
Chappies
- Chapter 1: Idiots To The Rescue
- Chapter 2: On The Road
- Chapter 3: Anti-Bling Attacks!
- Chapter 4: Alone
- Chapter 5: The Shortest Chapter Ever! Enter Demon Bell! or Bellson saves the day?
Host Segment 2
- Chapter 6: the Longest Chapter Ever! 60+ Lines!!! The Flood
- Chapter 7: What's Taking Them So Long?!!!
- Chapter 8: Wasting time... in song!
- Chapter 9: The Penultimate Terror!
- Chapter 10: The Final Battel!
Host Segment 3
DVD Version
- All of Bell Quest. Except the outside of movie parts.
- Outtakes
- Deleted Scenes
- Commentaries
Host Segment 4
