RiffText/Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Bell Quest/10

DEMON BELL: Who...

H44WP: The...

SKULLB: Hell thought this was a good idea?

BOTH: TENDERBREAD?!!!!

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Skypeia, Jose unt Gorge!

SKULLB: Bell's mastery of what appears to be the Spanish language is amazing.
CHWOKA: Better than his English. It's almost like...

{pan out to show it is Alpha Cram on the Chimer}

BLUEBRY: Again, WHAT THE HELL IS ALPHA CRAM?

ALPHA CRAM: Me are posted. Me no agree. Me travel base kill.

CHWOKA: where did this guy come from?
SKULLB: "Unga bunga. Me compute."

I AM BELL: I'll translate. "I saw what you did. I was angry. I came here to stop you."

BLUEBRY: So, does everyone in this movie speak at least one obscure language fluently? Rosetta Stone, eh?

{Demon Bell and H44WP look at each other and then Alpha Cram. They burst out laughing.}

ALPHA CRAM: Get my belt. Go to my locker and GET MY BELT!!!!!

CHWOKA: Bell slowly hands you the business card...
SKULLB: can somebody tell me how this thing turned from a caveman computer to a faux-psycho?

{Alpha Cram fires an electrical blast at H44WP.}

DEMON BELL: ...Whoa.

ALPHA CRAM: LV2: Underworld gong!

{Alpha Cram fires a larger electrical blast at Demon Bell}

DEMON BELL: OW!

{Alpha Cram continues firing elecrtic blast's

SKULLB: Elecritic blast is? Sweet Jesus...

at the two villains. A huge electric blast hit's Demon Bell and turns him back into Pure Watashi.}

PURE WATASHI: ...Crap.

ALPHA CRAM: Sectionify!

{Alpha Cram fires a gigantic red bolt of energy into Pure Watashi. Bling flies out of him and he reverts back to Ll e bami}

LL E BAMI: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

{A portal opens up on the chimer. Ll and H44WP get sucked in. The portal closes. A floppy disc pops out.}

I AM BELL: ...Woah. Uhh... What now?

BELLSON: That was quick.

BLUEBRY: That's what she said.

How are we gonna finish this chapter?

SKULLB: THE END THE GODDAMN END SAY IT ALREADY

BADSTAR: How about we start closing plot holes?

BLUEBRY: Why did you wait til the LAST CHAPTER to do this?

BELLSON: Grood idea. Also, let's stop breaking the 4th wall.

BADSTAR: {Holds up a list of plot holes.} Let's see... plot hole#1:Im a bell. Where is he?

SKULLB: People care about Bell?

{a rip in space appears. Im a bell's spirit is there}

IM A BELL: Unfortunately, the ray didn't only zap me into a different universe, it killed me. And with Ll in the real world, I'm not immortal. I'll come back someday. But for now, bye... {dissapears}

CHWOKA: But he's the author character! He can't die!
SKULLB: God forbid we lose the most masculine man in the universe.

BADSTAR: Plot hole#2:1-up and Kyubii. Where are they? Last time we saw them, they were trying find me. What happened?

CHWOKA: There's a difference between plot holes and loose ends.
BLUEBRY: Here's the real plot hole: "1-up and Kyubii. Who are they?"

1-UP: You see, we were running around looking for you, when all of a sudden, an inverted me-

PU-1 (INVERT 1-UP): Yo.

BLUEBRY: Here's another plot hole: "What the hell is an invert?"

1-UP:{slightly annoyed} -an inverted me came and captured us.

CHWOKA: Bell is dyslexic, so when he heard the maxim "Show, don't tell", he thought it was "Tell, don't show".
SKULLB: Yo momma so dyslexic OOOH

plot hole#3: Homestar's Sammich. Why no give to Badstar?

CHWOKA: what that's not even a plot hole in the loosest definition
SKULLB: Unga bunga. Need food.

HOMESTAR: I was hungry. Plot hole#4:Anthru-Borg & Kraxario. The haven't appeared much.

BLUEBRY: Some more world-class writing.

Although apparently, they are always here. How?

SKULLB: What, now he admits it?

KRAXARIO: Well, Uhh... the writers didn't really think of much lines for us. Plot hole#5:"Everybody else, run away screaming!" where are they?

BADSTAR: Still running and screaming. How many more plot holes are there?

BLUEBRY: Too many.

I AM BELL: I got two more! Why is H44WP on the side of evil, and why does Ebeneezer somehow appear everywhere, even though w left him to drown in Chapter 6?

BLUEBRY: No, the real question is who? Who are these people?

BADSTAR: 1: It involved something bad happening to Bling. 2: He's a zombie. Alright, one more. How did Alpha Cram fire electric blasts, turn Ll back to normal, and open a portal?

BELLSON: Actually, the second one doesn't work. He means "Why is Ebeneezer in more than one place"? Oh, and, he's kinda a unintentional world-bending virus. I mean, when he escaped the Chimer, he transformed the entire world into Sweet Cuppin' Cakes!

SKULLB: I have a good feeling Bell ate one too many Sweet Cuppin' Cakes while writing this.

BADSTAR: I guess the Ebeneezer question is a plot hole that will remain unsolved. So, what now? We can't this chapter short.

CHWOKA: We can't verbs!
SKULLB: We can't this language English.

I AM BELL: Uhh... why don't we go find where Bling flew off to?

BADSTAR: Good idea.

{cut to Bling and the female invert Anti-Bling hugging}

SKULLB: NO DON'T YOU'LL DESTROY THE UNIVERSE
BLUEBRY: Is this incest or not?

EVERYBODY: Awwwwwwww......

A COMPLETELY RANDOM GUY: Randomize!!!!

BLUEBRY: LOL

{the base warps. Bling and female invert Bling (Blingette) become millions of vampire squids}

SKULLB: uuurgh oh god

{Cut to a white space. Badstar is there.}

BADSTAR: Here's a little explanaition,

BLUEBRY: Okaiy.

so you guys watching the movie won't get creeped out.

{Cut to Badstar at a whiteboard. on it is a drawing of anti-bling and blingette.}

BADSTAR: The difference: Blingette does not have any horns. And she isn't evil for no apparent reason. Now we continue with your regular movie.

SKULLB: Biology One-oh-God.

{The movie stops.Cut to the theater.}

VEGEROT: ...wow. That was great.

BLUEBRY: {finishing sentence} At terrifying children.

OBNOXIOUS FAN (POSSIBLY QUAGMIRE): YeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahohmygodohmygodohmygodAWEXOMEAWEXOMEAWEXOME!!!!!

SKULLB: uuuuunngh

{calms down} Ahem. Giggity.

{The movie continues.}

I AM BELL: Um? Okay... {kills random guy. everything becomes normal}

CHWOKA: I still see a bunch of poorly-written non-human characters, though. Now THAT'S a plot hole.

BADSTAR: So... what do we do with the floppy disk?

BLUEBRY: Well, we could make an "eject the floppy" joke, but those got old after 1997.

I AM BELL: Leave that to me.

{Cut to 20X6. The stinko-wing is flying high above the lava zone.}

20X6 COW: {pops up and screen freezes.} This is maddnes! Madness... THIS IS 20X6!!!!!!

BLUEBRY: I'm going to commit suicide and there is nothing you can do about it.

{Cow puncher goes away.}

CHWOKA: So, is it over now?
{Chwoka stands up and picks up SkullB}

Epilogue

CHWOKA: Oh goddamn it.
{Chwoka sits back down}

I AM BELL: Bye!

{I am bell drops the floppy disc onto Saargtsson's

SKULLB: Sssassraaagtsson. I think that's some Danish county.

head, the disc then bounces into the lava}

SAARGTSSON: OW! What the?

NARRATOR: And so ends a wonderful story. But unfortunately, the villains would survive and H44WP would brainwash Ll and everybody in 20X6, and get extremely close to killing Im a bell and friends. But that, is another story.

{The screen fades to black. The words, The End appear on the screen in big gold letters. Cut back to the theater.}

BELLSON: ...That, was the greatest thing, I have ever seen.

BLUEBRY: Kill me.
SKULLB: I think he just means the text.

Say, I wonder where Bell's run off to.

{Cut to outside of the theater. Everyone is watching Im a bell who is in the middle of the road}

IM A BELL: Oh, hey ever-

CHWOKA: -thing dark, a part of SPOOK CLIFF incorporated.

{Im a bell is hit by a truck}

BLUEBRY: This is some Epic Movie-level humor here.
SKULLB: Bell Death Count: not enough

BADSTAR: So... should we show everyone the trailer for the seqeul?

SKULLB: Seqeuls never live up to the orignials.

IM A BELL:{just a head} S-sure...{dies}

{Cut to a black screen. Words in gold fade in.}

NARRATOR: Coming Soon to a HRFWiki near you...

CHWOKA: I would rather it get as far away as possible.

{Cut to a poorbt finding the floppy disk.}

BLUEBRY: I thought it was SARS or whatever.

POORBT: What's this?

{Cut back to the black screen. New words fade in.}

BLUEBRY: So the old words never left?

NARRATOR: Bell Quest II: Cow Quest!

{Cut to H44WP zapping Ll with the mind control ray. Cut to him in front of a mind controlled army of every single 20X6 character.}

H44WP: I want all of you to capture these two for me! {Holds up two pictures. One picture has Im a bell, and the other has Badstar.}

NARRATOR: When H44WP is unleashed... The world as we know it will be... FOLLOWING THE RULES!!!!!

{Cut to a black screen. Gold words appear}

NARRATOR: Coming A Month 2007.

BLUEBRY: You're off deadline I'd say.

{cut back to the theater}

BADSTAR: So... WHO'S READY FOR THE AFTER PARTY!?!?

CHWOKA: Afterparty: A party taking place in posthumous celebration of a big event. After party: An event taking place after a party.

IM A BELL: Thanks to my power of plotholes, I'm somehow alive and in one piece! {gets hit by another truck} Er...

{1 HOUR LATER...}

IM A BELL: Back to normal! Er... Why have the afterparty now? We already started Bell Quest II!

COW: I dunno. I got back to saving you.

IM A BELL: Er... Wait, did you just try to fill a plothole? I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COW: Ah no! Oh, and where is my cameo?

BLUEBRY: You're in it.

BADSTAR: Ummm... if we are here... who are those people?

{Cut to a real life theater. The real life Badstar, Bell, and Cow Puncher are there.}

CONNOR {REAL LIFE BADSTAR}: Holy. carp.

SKULLB: "What hell hath we unleashed?"
DREW {REAL LIFE BLUEBRY}: Is this in style now?

KEITH (REAL LIFE IM A BELL): Oh Crap. I DO read too much Bob and George. Er... I feel like destroying somethi- Oh, {bleep}. My HRFWiki form is trying to escape. Er... I seem less insane and somewhat retarded than usual...

SKULLB: Hooo boy. I could say a lot about this little paragraph here.

DANIELL (REAL COW): Hey, Connor, where did you put the Mayo?

KEITH: Danielle, now that there's no possible way of this being a fourth wall break, why are you using your bro's username?

CONNOR: It's her real name.

KEITH: I meant that she's editing with her bro's account. I wanted to know why.

DANILLE: My brother had to edit his userpage, but I started using it. Hold on, I'll change. Done

KEITH: Er... Is it even possible to use strikethrough here? Oh well. Um... Where is this theater?!!!

DANILLE: Hey, um, I'll call Claire. (Shwoo)

CLAIRE (REAL SHWOO): Yes?

KEITH: Yeah, uh, we'd want to know where the {bleep} this {bleep}ing theater is.

SKULLB: If my memory serves me correctly, wasn't Bell like ten years old at this point? Wow, he was {bleep}ed up.

It cann't be FCUSA or any of those fictional places, because we're real. Wait, you see that red fadey lkndd

BLUEBRY: ...um what

over there? Oh god. This must be- Calm down. No HSR references...

CONNOR: This theater is in the real world.

KEITH: I can see that, but WHERE in the {bleep}ing real world?!!!

BLUEBRY: Cursing at 13 and spending all of your time online does not make you cool.

DANILLE: I think in Conch street adress 4232446 that guy's phone number 555-777-223

CONNOR:...Wow. Keith, your right. you have been reading too much Bob and George. Right, Nate?

{Camera zooms out a bit to reveal Nate from "Bob and George" sitting next to Connor.}

NATE: {Nods}

KEITH: For a second, I thought you said "a bit of Nate".

CHADLING: {Next to Keith.} LETS GET OUt OF HERE AND GET ICE CREAM!!! ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DANILLE: Look at this! Bell Quest/10inengrish

KEITH: The {bleep}?!!!

SKULLB: THERE IS MORE OF THIS

CHWOKA: Actually, I'm pretty sure this is it.

{Chwoka picks up SkullB, and the gang leaves the theater.}