Zarel Emails/8/original

Zarel E-Mail #8

Zarel is asked what kind of The Cheat he would have.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, The Cheat, Zarel-Cheat, Old Cheat, The Haxx, Strong Bad, King of Town

Places: Zarel's House, Blue Showscreen

Transcript

{Cut to Zarel's Room}

ZAREL: {singing} I'm Zarel, I'm the best, and I've come to check email...I'll sit and never run, stay until- {stops} Okay, forget it.

subj: cheez

Zarel,
If you could have a the cheat, what would he or she look like? Not the Cheat

ZAREL: {typing} If I could have a The Cheat...Hm. This is a tough decision... This decision requires visual planning! Ooooh...Blue Showscreeeeen?

{Cut to the Blue Showscreen}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Alright, so here is a the Cheat.

{The Cheat appears onscreen}

THE CHEAT: Meh!

ZAREL: {voiceover} Now...hm...I guess I'd like to have this The Cheat of mine to have my features...just so people know it's mine.

{The Cheat morphs into a more Zarel-looking The Cheat, gaining Zarel's eyes, nose, wings, horns, and tail.}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Wait...no. That's just too cliche of an idea. Redo!

{Zarel Cheat's head explodes}

ZAREL-CHEAT: MEEEEH!

{Zarel Cheat fades out, another The Cheat drops in}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Okay, so...I guess I'll have to pick my Cheat's color. Hm...I think I'd like a gray-haired one...

{The Cheat's hair turns gray, The Cheat hunches over and is standing up with a cane}

THE CHEAT: Meeeeeh...

ZAREL: {voiceover} No no no...I asked for gray fur, not an old The Cheat who's fur is graying! Redo!

{The old Cheat poofs into dust, a new The Cheat drops down}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Okay, so gray fur. Like...metal gray.

{The Cheat onscreen turns gray and shiny}

THE CHEAT: Meh?

ZAREL: Hm...I just got this good idea. Let's just say my Cheat was a machine and you could stomp on his...foot...pad...to open his mouth...

{Cut to The Field, Strong Bad and Zarel's The Cheat are standing there, Strong Bad is holding a can of Melonade}

ZAREL: {voiceover} ...and use him as a trash compactor?

{Strong Bad stomps on the gray Cheat's footpad. The gray Cheat opens its mouth and Strong Bad tosses the can in it. The gray Cheat closes his mouth, makes some rumbling Cheat noises and then grins, making a Cheat noise sounding like "ding"}

STRONG BAD: Look where technology's got us now! {thumbs up}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Oh! And maybe if he detects an idiot...

{Cut to The Stick, Zarel's Cheat stands there looking around, The King of Town walks by}

KING OF TOWN: Doohoohoohoo...

ZAREL: {voiceover} He could give him the proper beating!

{Zarel's Cheat opens its mouth and a robotic arm holding a rolling pin pops out, Zarel's Cheat starts beating the King with it}

KING OF TOWN: Oof! Ooh! Naughty little animal! I'll...Oof!

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: {typing} And as for a name...hm...I've got one! The Haxx! {a fanfare is heard} It's a wonderful name for a little guy like him...I should probably go see if The Blacksmith needs anything else...

THE CHEAT: {offscreen} MEEEEEEEEEEEEH!

{Zarel gets beaned with the Cheat's old Tangerine Dreams computer monitor, knocking his upper half off his waist}

ZAREL: OOWWW! {zoom out, Zarel's torso is propped on his legs} The Cheat...what'd you do that for!? And how did you get in here?

THE CHEAT: Meh meh meh mehdly meeeeeeeh!

ZAREL: "There can be only one..." What?

{The Cheat facepalms and takes the computer with him}

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

• The email opener is a take on the refrain of Wormsong, a song in most of the Worms series games.
• Zarel mentioning The Blacksmith refers back to robot, where the King of Town got The Blacksmith to make Wind-Up Zarel.
• The Cheat's line before Zarel gets hit with the Tangerine Dreams would translate to "HAAAAAAAAAAAAX!" which is a reference to The G-Mod Idiot Box, in which Dr. Breen from Half-Life (or Dr. Haxx) would point, scream "HAAAAAAAX!" and then proceed to toss a computer monitor at the hacker, mainly Chuckles the Cheat. Clip from GIB
• "There can be only one" is the reference to The Highlander.