SSXMails/BHZ/YOFYWeen!

NOTE: Mose of the script was written by a friend of mine. Also, many characters are based on BHZ users.

??: Submit it for your approval. A few friends standing around a room, talking about a made up holiday with the ever so common “ween” at the end. Little do these little weirdos know that they around about to find a world so strange.. so horrible… so…

DIRECTOR: CUT! You’re going to have to shorten up that line…

??: What… you can’t say that to me!

DIRECTOR: Oh yes, I can. I created you, you can’t hurt me in any way!

??: Are you so… sure?

DIRECTOR: Yup.

{Pause.}

??: I’m sorry I have to do this but… {comes into view, revealing himelf as Shadow Sonic X, his voice gets a lot louder and eviler.} I, SHADOW SONIC X, AM GOING TO TAKE OVER THIS SMALL CARTOON UNIVERSE!! MWAHAHAHAH!

DIRECTOR: And how do you plan to do that?

SHADOW SONIC X: You see, I have built this warp, and put it into this box, disguised as a present. And when the person who gets this gift opens it… me and my minions will come into the dimension, and start our REIGN OF TERROR!

DIRECTOR: Alright! That was perfect! I love it! … um, Sha- *Shadow punches the camera, and it fades to the decorated SuperBox, and some candy canes on the table. Zoom in on the SuperBox. The following text appears on the computer.*

a>run_youroppositesfightyouween.exe

{A Christmasy tune plays in the background. pictures of characters are shown when they are listed.}

{The following words appear.}

Super Sonic X and Homestar Runner-Tron present... A SSXMail Youroppopop.. lopol… ist… or… something!

It’s called.. you guessed it! Youroppopop… lop… Youroppositesfightyouween…

Starring...
The Good Guys:

Super Sonic X
Homestar Runner-Tron
PokeHomsar
FHQ
Skinny_Blonde_Girl
That_Goblin
Depressio
Homestar of Light
Super Saiyan Homeskater
Homestar Golfer
Homestarguy
Da Burninator

The Bad Guys:

Shadow Sonic X
Nort Rats Run Right Home
YugiHomsar
Good Graphics FHQ
Fat_Blonde_Boy
That Goblin
Happysio
Homestar of Shadow
Super Saiyan Outsideskater
Homestar Bowler
Homestardude
Evil DB
Trogdor

Script by:
Super Sonic X and Homestar Runner-Trom

Animated by:
Homestar Runner-Tron

{Cut to a decorated part of SSX's house. SSX, HSRT, PokeHomsar, FHQ, and T_G are in the room. Depressio, HoL, SSHS, H*Golfer, and H*Guy are in a room connected to the first.}

SUPER SONIC X: So, what's up, guys?

FHQ: Ohhh… I dunno, just this cardboard box wrapped in colorful ribbons!

HSRT: Oh boy! An early birthday present, how kind!

FHQ: No! A Opposupercalifragilisticexpiladocious gift… and for me!

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: Well, that was atrocious.

SUPER SONIC X: Sweet! Better go open that soon, the twin contest is about to begin!

HOMESTAR OF LIGHT, HOMESTAR GOLFER, HOMESRARGUY AND SUPER SAIYAN HOMESKATER: {simultaneously} Did anyone say twin?

DEPRESSIO: Okay, next time, I drive us to the house.

HOMESTAR OF LIGHT, HOMESTAR GOLFER, HOMESRARGUY AND SUPER SAIYAN HOMESKATER: {simultaneously} Alwiiiight!

DEPRESSIO: {sighs} WHY am I always stuck with Homestar lookalikes?

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: Let’s see… looks like everyone’s here… except for…

SUPER SONIC X: You mean..

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: Yup.

SUPER SONIC X: Where could…

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: I dunno… I just hope…

SUPER SONIC X: Yeah…

{Someone rings the doorbell.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: AUGH! Brace yourself, Sonic!

SUPER SONIC X: What? I have straight teeth, why would I need to do it? And why doesn’t the dentist do it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: {big Japanese like sweat mark appears on his head}

{The door opens. A shadow of Skinny Blonde Girl is there.}

SKINNY BLONDE GIRL: Hey, BHZers!

HOMESTAR RUNNER TRON: … wait, you’re not… blonde.

SKINNY BLONDE GIRL: Huh? OHHH! I’m sorry, the R key wasn’t working when I signed in, had to say blonde instead of red. And it’s sorta grown on me… why do you care?

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: Ehh…

SUPER SONIC X: HSRT, do NOT unleash one of those flash backs to her…

HOMESTAR RUNNER-TRON: Well, to put it simply… smart + stupid= ACK!

SKINNY BLONDE GIRL: Hey, blondes aren’t stupid! My friend Sally’s a blonde, and she’s capable of thinking!

{Sally walks into the door.}

SALLY: Like, I crashed into the door! Pishaah! {gets up and falls over onto Skinny Blonde Girl} Like, I crashed into my friend! {gets up and falls onto the floor again} Like, I-

SKINNY BLODE GIRL: {steps on Sally} Okay, you win. Blondes are stupid.

FHQ: *walks into a dark room, and rips open the present*

FHQ: Yay! Just what I always wanted! A Stargate model!

• Good Graphics FHQ comes out* Good Graphics FHQ: You fool, it’s a dimensional warp! A warp to the opposites world!

FHQ: … yay! Just what I always wanted! A dimensional warp!

Good Graphics FHQ: He really is my opposite. This is going to be easy… hey, twin!

FHQ: Yeah?

Good Graphics FHQ: Would you like some muffins?

FHQ: Oh, yes!

Good Graphics FHQ: Well, they’re all in here! Go in, common, yes, that’s it! *FHQ prances into the warp* MWAHAHAHH!

• FHQ comes out again*

FHQ: That’s one good laugh you got there!

Good Graphics FHQ: Why, thank you.

• FHQ goes back in*

Good Graphics FHQ: MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!!

• back in the other room*

SSX: So I was like, Mario, do you think you’re all that?

GG FHQ: That’s-a my target… ah!

• GG FHQ begins chasing SSX.*

SSX: AAAHH! Fahoog, why are you chasing me? Do you chase everyone? AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Are you trying to eat people? If so, I'm fine with that.

GG FHQ: No. I'm going to ban you.

SSX: .... AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

HSRT: Hey, That_Goblin! What do you think of this cartoon idea? George’s rival, Tim, Sinister Spy’s #2 fan, has a piece of SS Merchandise no one else has?

• T_G is about to do a dance, when suddenly, the warp appears from behind him, and T_G is pulled into it, and a person with T G instead of T_G on his shirt comes out (If you can’t notice, it says T G… not T_G… no underscore!)* T G: That's crazy! What kind of moron are...

Uhh... I mean- I didn’t talk!

HSRT: .. umm… okay!

PokeHomsar: Yeah, that’d be cool-

• PokeHomsar is pulled into the warp, and YugiHomsar with a Mellenium Puzzle on his shirt comes out of it*

YugiHomsar: Yeah, that's the stupidest idea ever made! I mean, seriously. That's BIRTHDAYS, man! Not Christmas. Get your facts straight. I mean, get your holidays straight.

SSX: Hey, lay off him! And lay off me, you dragon duck!! *GG FHQ shoots fire at his head, SSX quickly dodges it*

GG FHQ: What?! I’m not a dragon duck!! You guys should know this by now!!! I am a duck/dragon, not a dragon/duck.

SSX: Ok, sorry.

GG FHQ: It’s okay.

• pause*

HSRT: So… dragon duck-

GG FHQ: AAARGH!

GG FHQ starts chasing the two.

SSX and HSRT: WHY DO YOU NEVER STOP CHASING PEOPLE? WHY??

Meanwhile, in the other room...

The camera zooms out. HoL, SSHS, Homestar Golfer, and Homestarguy prancing around. After a while, they all stop.

All 4: Seriously!

Depressio: Man, this is gonna be a long party... okay D-sio, you’re gonna have to get through this… Momstar said if I looked after her sons, I’d get to see Homeschool…

• switch to SBG still watching Sally walking into stuff and pishaahing*

SBG: She’s graceful on the dance floor, even at a football game, but once she’s not having to dance or do something coordinated, she’s the clumsiest kid on the face of the earth.

Sally: Sally, you go girl, you’re totally looking good! *walks into the wall* Like, I walked into the wall.

SBG: STOP WITH THE LIKES!!

A few hours later...

SSX and HSRT are still being chased by FHQ.

YugiHomsar: Well, I'm bored. Might as well destroy SSX’s computer. Hoight!

T G: Man… how does the Poopsmith and T_G deal with their vows of silence?

YugiHomsar runs by Depressio, who begins banging on the wall. Depressio follows YH.

At the computer...

Depressio: Dude, we have NO idea what this thing can do!

YH: I know, that’s why I want to use it and break it, insert a couple thousand viruses…

Depressio: Umm… okay…

a>search_pokemon_games.exe

a>1_result_found.exe

a>Pokemon Black Or Something

run_pokemon.exe

a>Error. No Pokemon games detected.

a>check_email.exe

Dear DepressiPokeHomSSX,

Why do you always have that weird XSashHat from a show?

Sincirely from,

Some other guy

a> Censor this from some other guys? Oh, okay!

a>censorthis.exe

a>This is Censored.

a>random_junk.exe

a>WARNING! INTRUDER ALERT! WHY YOU BE SO SHORT INTRUDER?

YugiHomsar blasts the computer with the Mellenium Puzzle.

Depressio: Hey, you just destroyed a perfectly good compy! What’s with you today?

YugiHomsar: *blasts Depressio’s hat to mere ashes* I’m not who think…

Depressio: Okay, that’s it, I’m making sure you never play in Member Survivor 1,000!

YugiHomsar: *puzzle glows some more*

Depressio: Uh oh. *Depressio runs away screaming as YH runs after him*

• the paper prints out saying, “… I’m so lonely..”*

• Shadow Sonic X jumps out of the warp.*

Shadow Sonic X: Ah… havoc… by Shadow Sonic X! A real masterpiece! Time to set up my inflatable evil fortress!

• Shadow Sonic X blows it up with his breath slowly*

Shadow Sonic X: Okay… maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…

• fade to Shadow Sonic X finally having it blown up*

Shadow Sonic X: Okay, time to go in! *bounces in*

• FHQ, PokeHomsar, and T_G are strapped to plastic chains inside*

PokeHomsar: Yaaaay! We go up and down and up and down!

Shadow Sonic X: Be quiet!!

T_G: *holds up a sign saying, “Man, That Goblin?! Man, that’s obvious. I mean, it’s TOTALLY different..”*

FHQ: … are you being sarcastic?

T_G: *holds up another saying, “No, I’m serious! I mean, a goblin without his underscore… you can EASILY tell the two apart!”*

FHQ: … uh-

Shadow Sonic X: I said BE QUIET!

Shadow Sonic X sits in front of a Super Box, identical to SSX's, except that it’s inflatable.

• with bouncing difficulty, he punches in things*

a>DNA_scan.exe

a>Boing boing boing boing!

SSX: Okay, who was playing around with my computer?!

• PokeHomsar's balloon chain detaches from the lab*

PokeHomsar: Weeeeeeeee! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!

SSX: *sighs* … let’s see…

a>run_spy_camera.exe

A very tiny camera, smaller than anything in the universe, breaks off of SSX's computer, and bounces out of the lab.

Shadow Sonic X: Well, that’s the end of Super Sonic X… Mwahahaha… wait… *looks at where the camera broke off, there’s a hole, the computer deflates, and soon, the rest of the lab does too.* Oh, blah.

• Shadow Sonic X crawls out of the lab, and fade to him looking at the footage, on a fairly beaten up inflatable compy.*

Shadow Sonic X sees Depressio trying to get out of the room, and 4 Homestar lookalikes dancing, and dancing, and repeating lines from the Homestar Talker like crazy.

Depressio: Okay, Depressio, think Homeschool… you’ll get to talk to him… you’ll get to… AAAAUGH! The stupidity!

The camera enters the next room, where SSX is being chased by FHQ, and the two are speeding around T_G. HSRT draws on his laptop, and a barrier of solid rock appears around FHQ. SSX tries to stop, but smashes into the back of the rock, and gets knocked out.

Shadow Sonic X: What the.....? Good Graphics Fahoog's captured, and SSX is out cold? Hmmmmmmm…

PokeHomsar: Boingy boingy boingy- *hits the computer, and it deflates again*

Cut to Shadow Sonic X gathers up a team of bad guys, including Nort Rats Run Right Home, YugiHomsar, That Goblin, Happysio, HoS, S.S. Outsideskater, Homestar Bowler, Homestardude, Fat Blonde Boy, Evil DB, and Trogdor.

Shadow Sonic X: Is everyone present? Nort Rats?

NRRRH: Yeah dude. *shows a boy with no glasses, punk hair, a skateboard, and sunglasses on*

Shadow Sonic X: YugiHomsar?

YH: *humming the Yu-Gi-Oh! Themesong*

Shadow Sonic X: Good Graphics FHQ?

That Goblin: No, too busy chasing after SSX and HSRT. And talking about HSRT, man, have you seen his toons, he’s awexome cross, but we’re evil, so we’ll go and bend his glasses and blabby bloooooo do you like blue I like bl-

Shadow Sonic X: Okay okay, I know you’re here already, That Goblin! … Happysio?

Happysio: Boy, is it a wonderful day, the grass is greener than usual, dontcha think, oh this is a wonderful world…

Shadow Sonic X: Homestar of Shadow? … Homestar of Shadow?

• Suddenly, Shadow Sonic X’s shadow morphs, and turns into HOS*

Shadow Sonic X: AGH!

HOS: Here.

Shadow Sonic X: SS Outsideskater?

SS Outsideskater: I like to skate outside!

Shadow Sonic X: Yeah… very unsuspectable. Fat Blonde Boy?

FBB: *shows a real blonde person* Cookies!!

Shadow Sonic X: Oookay. Homestardude, Evil DB, and Trogdor?

Homestardude: *talking in perfect coherentness, he has on a cool pair of movie star glasses and a coat* Right here!

Evil DB and Trogdor: *blows some fire at SSX*

Trogdor: Why did you call everyone separately except us?!

Evil DB: And in the same sentence with THIS guy?!

Homestardude: HEY! At least I’m not a dummy like Insidethedumpsterskater!

Outsideskater: HEY! Why I outta- *everyone gets in a fight*

Shadow Sonic X: Ok, guys, settle down!! It's Yoursoppositesfightyouween, and SSX's friends have all been gathered up. I’ve been able to get 3 of his companions-

PokeHomsar: Weeeeee!

Shadow Sonic X: But there’s still many more. We must attack soon!

• pause*

Outsideskater: … can we attack yet?

Shadow Sonic X: No, not yet.

Outsideskater: … how about… now?

Shadow Sonic X: No.

Outsideskater: Now?

Shadow Sonic X: NO!!!

• pause*

Outsideskater: Okay, fine, I’ll wait-

Shadow Sonic X: ATAAAAACK!

Outsideskater: What? *everyone runs over Outsideskater*

The evil army charges to the door, to realize they’ve been locked in the dark room

Shadow Sonic X: Uh… *knocks on the door*

HSRT: I'll get it!

Super Sonic X: If it’s a salesman, tell him to go away.

HSRT: Who’s there?

Shadow Sonic X: Shadow Sonic X and my evil minions.

HSRT: Are you a salesman?

Shadow Sonic: No, I’m an evil opposite of your friend who wants to rule the cartoon dimension.

HSRT: … okay!

HSRT opens the door, and get's smashed in the head. The evil army bursts in...

Everyone except SSX hears the noise, and head to the front door.

Shadow Sonic X: Ok, guys! Take down the place!

Shadow Sonic X and HOS use energy blasts of darkness, Homestar Bowler strikes people with his bowling balls, Happysio stuns people with his happiness, Outsideskater does tricks with his skateboard, hitting people with his tricks, Nort Rats rams people with his spikey hair, Homestardude stands there looking pretty, Fat Blonde Boy bumps everyone with his belly, and Trogdor and Evil DB uses burnination.

• PokeHomsar, FHQ, and T_G bounce out of the lab, no one notices them, though*

Outsideskater: Wait, I only skate, like, outside. This is like, INSIDE! *HSRT throws his glasses at Outsideskater, hits him, then it boomerangs back to HSRT*

HSRT: Ugh, that’s my opposite? … I’m not getting close to him…

NRRRH: Well, I’m getting close to you, bro! *hits HSRT with his spikey hair*

Homestar Golfer: AUUGH! Ouw opposites awe fighting us!

Depressio: Well, what did you think this holiday was about? Ketchup stuffed purple potatoes?

Homestar Golfer and Homestarguy and SSHomeskater: Yes!

SSX: *talking with Depressio* Okay, I guess I can tell the joke over again… and I was like, Mario, do you think you’re all that?

• NRRRH shoots one of his spikes at Depressio, Depressio holds SSX up as a shield, the spike hits SSX*

SSX: Mamamia.

Homestar Golfer and Homestarguy and SSHomeskater: Flee, dumb athletic but cowawdly copies of Homestaw! FLEEE!!!

HoL: Flea? Whewe? *looks behind him, the spike that was right about to hit HoL hits the wall*

Sally: *does a happy girlish scream* Like- this is some partay! And like, where’s the refreshments, and like, salads? I’m like, on a like… diet.

SBG: Sally, stop the likes!

Sally: Like, what are you talking about like, stop with the like, likes. I’m like, not even like, saying, like, like! You must be like, just like, tired.

SBG: Okaaay.. time to put you to some good use. *throws her into the crowd*

Sally: *hits all the bad guys down* Pishaah!

DB: *walks out into the battle room, with a teddy bear in his hand, and a night cap on* *yawn* So, guys, what did I miss?

Depressio: You’re about to miss the rest of your life if you don’t go and help us battle!

HoL: Kelp, whewe? *another spike misses HoL*

Many heroes fall in the short battle. Soon, all that remained was DB, HoL, Depressio, SSX, still unconcious, and HSRT, also unconcious.

Depressio: Great, just great. The one time when we need FHQ most, but he's missing... and HSRT is unconcious... and well, we don't seriously need HoL at this time.

HoL: The times? It's Elventy Teeh!

Depressio: Why am I even here? Oh, right. Homeschool.

Depressio opens up his briefcase, to show that he’d packed his extra compy with him. SSX finally regains conciousness.

Depressio: SSX! We need you to get HSRT back up!

SSX: Sure, no problem.

SSX seems to charge up an energy blast of some sort. All of a sudden, he stops, and goes over to HSRT.

SSX; WAKE UP!

HSRT wakes up, revealing that he was just sleeping.

HSRT: Wha?!

SSX: Go and help Depressio locate where Fahoog is!

HSRT: On that piece of smushed up cake of a comp? No, I’m not gonna do it.

SSX: But…

HSRT: Without my macintosh! *brings out his laptop*

SSX: Great! … what do I do?

HSRT: Distract the evil bad guys.

SSX: Oh… DISTRACT THEM?!!!

HSRT: Yeah, it’s what all comic relief characters do.

SSX: Wait, you’re not saying I’m a g-

HSRT: Shoo, we don’t have much time!

SSX: Hey, evil dudes! Look what I got! *holds up some of the bubble wrap you use for packaging stuff*

Trogdor: Oh man, who could fall for such a-

SS Homeskater and Nort Rats: Bubble!

HSRT: Yike, he really is my opposite!

SSX: You think you’ve seen the best, well, try listen to the human video game music jukebox!

• play videogame music from out of his mouth*

Everyone: *dances to it*

• suddenly it stops*

SSX: Gotta pay a quarter for more!

• SS Homeskater gives a quarter to him, more music comes out, they all dance again*

Depressio: Hey, there he is!

HSRT: Alright!

SSX: *more music comes out, they keep on give him more music*

HSRT: Hey, evil dudes! For our final act… time to get banned!

• FHQ takes a deep breath, but nothing comes out*

….

HSRT: Fahoog, what’s wrong?

FHQ: I don’t know, I think those chains have been squeezing at my stomach for too long!

HSRT: Oh GREAT!

All the bad guys: HAHAHAHA! *They run at HSRT and FHQ, etc.*

Depressio: AAAUGH!!!

DB: Well, you must be Trogdor.

Trogdor: Yes, I do believe you have met my son, Evil DB.

DB: Yes, I sure have…

Trogdor: Yes… this is some a little family reunion… Evil DB, give DB a hug.

Evil DB: MWAHAHAH! *pounces on DB* Hey bro.

• switch to SBG and FBB*

Skinny Blonde Girl: Eck, who’re you?

FBB: Fat… *chews on brownie* … blon- *chomp chew chew chew smack smack* … de bo… *BURP* … y.

Skinny Blonde Girl: Ooooooookaaaaay… so, aren’t you going to fight me?

FBB: Fight? *smack smack* Fight too much work. *takes out a cookie* Cookie… *chomp* I will do.

Skinny Blonde Girl: Aw nut. *blows him down with her breath* Why did I get the lazy guy? Everyone else gets all the fun.

HSRT: It’s true, those chains have been squeezing at you for too long, your mod powers are all drained away! If I could just get some energy from somewhere…

• Depressio, sees HoL prancing around*

• Depressio smiles*

• Depressio has HoL strapped to a chair*

HoL: Ooh! What sowta game is this?

Depressio: It’s called stay very still while I suck all the energy out of you with a vacuum cleaner.

HoL: Okay. I’ll seek. You can hide.

Depressio: *sucks up all the energy, and HoL gets kinda woozy*

HoL: Hey, no peeking! *HoL and the chair falls down*

Depressio: Okay, here’s all the energy I got out of him.

HSRT: I don’t think that’s enough!

Depressio: What?!

HSRT: Try someone else!

• cut to Depressio looking very angry at his happy twin*

Happysio: Oh, isn’t this a great day!

Depressio: Stay still for crying out loud!

Happysio: But there’s so much great things to see, I must stay alert for happy things! *big smile*

Depressio: Ugh, this is worse than the Barneyfest I was forced to go to…

• Depressio sucks all the energy out of Happysio*

Depressio: Ack! That’s too much energy, I guess I can spare a bit. *spits some back on Happysio*

Happysio: Yay yay yaaay!

Evil DB: So, brother...

DB: Less talk. More you getting utterly defeated by your twin.

Evil DB: Oh. Ok.

Evil DB shoots a strong flame, DB goes and blocks it by ripping a mirror of the wall, it reflects off the mirror, and hits Evil DB.

DB: Wow. That was easy.

HSRT: As I was saying… hey, evil dudes! For our final act… time to get banned!

• FHQ blasts out a admin ban flame, and everyone disappears*

Depressio: ……… gee, that was boring. Let’s go play some Peasants Quest, that’ll liven things up.

• a few hours later*

Depressio: Well, kids, I guess the moral of this story is, “Blatant Homestar Runner copies and blondes are actually useful.” I hope you enjoyed our nice little made up story. Now, for the REAL final act, time for our last Youroppositesfightyouween carol.

• song is sung, then, the screen zooms out, and it shows that this had been played on the compy, the screen goes to regular black*

a>the_end.exe

THE END appears on the screen in huge letters.

• PokeHomsar boings across the screen*

PokeHomsar: Boing, boing, boing, boing!

• during the credits after this, there’s a few inbetween bloopers*

HSRT: Hey, evil dudes! For our final act… time to get banned!

• FHQ blasts out a admin ban flame, and everyone disappears, except for FBB.*

FHQ: Ehh…

• blasts again, only moves FBB a millimeter*

Director: CUT!

Director: Alright! That was perfect! I love it! … um, Sha- *Shadow punches the camera, but it doesn’t break*

Shadow: YEOW!!!

Director: *sigh* Cut. Bring the stuntdouble in…

SSX: You think you’ve seen the best, well, try listen to the human video game music jukebox!

• If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands plays*

SSX: *AHEM* Sorry, wrong CD.

SSX: Try listen to the human video game music jukebox!

• plays Alvin and The Chipmunks*

SSX: Can someone PLEASE get this CD right!

FHQ: Yay! Just what I always wanted! A dimensional warp!

• Good Graphics FHQ comes out* Good Graphics FHQ: You fool, it’s a… oh wait… that’s right!

Depressio: Well, kids, I guess the moral of this story is Depressio is Awexome!

Depressio: The moral of this story is-

• Homestarguy bumps him off screen*

Homestarguy: To take of youw socks befowe washing them!!

HoL: Kelp, whewe? *spike hits him*

HoL: OW!

Director: For the 15th time… CUT!!!