SSXMails/Robot

SSXMail 4. Robot
Created On June 24, 2006
Cast (in order of appearence): X On Fire, Super Sonic X Clone, Thatkidsam, Dark X
Locations: XOF's House, XOF's Home Planet, Shadow Sonic X's Headquarters, Outside XOF's House

Transcript

{XOF floats into his newly fixed house. He floats up the the computer table.}

X ON FIRE: Hey, everyone. Since my old computer was destroyed, I've picked up the newest model of it. It may seem similar, but it is much different. Observe. {puts a new laptop on the table}

a>open file_ssxmail.exe█

Dear XOF,
Why are you a robot?
I have a robot for a head,
but seriously.
Bye,
20XGlitch

X ON FIRE: Ah, a perfect example. Watch. {highlights "I", and presses a button labled "create". Suddenly, a second SSX appears.} This new computer has a text-to-matter function! {XOF clone zooms off} Well, that can't be good. Anyways, on with the email. Why am I a robot? What kind of qestion is that? It's like asking a cat why it's not a dog! First off, the cat didn't choose what species it was, and anyways, it couldn't respond, because it has no vocal co-{Thatkidsam cuts SSX off}

THATKIDSAM: Um, XOF, I'll have to stop you there. You're not being funny. I'd suggest referencing some old video game and insulting the email sender's name. {walks off}

X ON FIRE: As I was saying, the cat has no vocal cords. Which reminds me, I have this really long documentary to show you guys. For the rest of the email. And the next five emails. It's a LONG movie. {walks off, dims lights, and turns on a TV}

TV NARRATOR: Today, we will be examining the habitat of the oddly named "Spooficlaccigus Slug". It is a highly-{cut to a planet far from Earth}

{Many large ships can be seen destroying a futuristic city in the sky. The screen slowly zooms in on the largest tower, and finally into the top of the tower, where Dark X is floating in front of a wall of monitors.}

DARK X: Yes. The plan is coming along like a charm. My minion should be here soon.

{A panel in the ceiling opens, and the X On Fire clone enters. When he reaches the ground, the hatch closes.}

DARK X: Have you sent Email IZ7?

X ON FIRE CLONE: Yes, my master.

DARK X: Excellent. This plan cannot fail.

X ON FIRE CLONE: What is the plan again?

DARK X: First, I trapped SSX on Earth, and tricked Thatkidsam and Icreature into leading him to a Disney ride that would destroy his house, leaving his computer unprotected from my biolizard. Then, I sent a minion to trick him into buying a computer, which in addition to Email IZ7 and a wire that damages SSX, will stop SSX right in his tracks.

X ON FIRE CLONE: That's ingenious!

DARK X: I know.

{Cut back to Earth.}

X ON FIRE: Well, now that the viewers are busy, I'm taking a break from this emai-{notices the viewers can see him}Er...Um...on...with...the email. {floats back to the computer}

X ON FIRE: Well, now that I've answered the email, I-wow, I have a lot of emails! I should clean out my inbox!

IT IS TIME.

X ON FIRE: Um, well, umm...

Dear X Man,
What is tthe perspn you liek most? In other
Words, your idol?
A lot of people like American ones, I've heard.
-Thismanjosh

SUPER SONIC X: Hm...tthe perspn I liek most? Um, nobody, really. I idolize nobody! Next.

THATKIDSAM: {walks up} XOF, this is your second warning. Stop being unfunny. {walks off}

X ON FIRE: That guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

Hey X Man,
What is the currency you use?
If it's rings, I heard that there's
a lot of rings in the Death Egg
X! It's hard to find, though.
Wanna look for it?

-Rogue Redd, CA

X ON FIRE: Wait...rings are actually considered a form of currency? Anywhere? Anyways, around here, the currency is pencil shavings, for some reason. {gets up} Well, that's about it for today. {walks off}

THATKIDSAM: {walks on} Due to the surprising lack of humor in this email, I shall now say the following. FRUIT SALAD IN A BURGER BURRITO DANCING ON MOUNT EVEREST IN A TU-TU WHILE EXPLODING. That is all. {walks off}

{The paper comes down.}

Fun Facts

Easter Eggs

• Click on the computer to see a scene in DARK X's Headquaters.
  

X ON FIRE CLONE: What does Email #IZ7 do, anyways?

DARK X: Excellent question. As soon as X ON FIRE loads the email, a wire will launch into his head, resulting in an electronic wave that will control the computer to highlight and create the words "Demented Cartoon Movie Takeover." This will more than likely stop X On Fire right in his tracks. Meanwhile, the electronic wave will override his powers indefinitely. It cannot fail!

References

• Instulting the sender's name is a trait from SBEMails.
• The documentary is a parody of the typical nature shows.
  • The animal name in the documentary is based on the series of blob-like animals from animal.
• Wikipedia:The Demented Cartoon Movie is a popular 30 minute long Flash animation.

General Fun Facts

• This email used to have an alternate opening made by Crusader. Click here to see it.