RiffText/MFT3K/Zarel Emails/2

Zarel E-Mail #2

Zarel is asked what his favorite style is out of four different ones.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Homestar, Homeschool, Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Strong Sad, TJ, Cheerleader (easter egg), So-And-So (easter egg), What's-Her-Face (easter egg), The Ugly One (easter egg)

Places: Zarel's House, The Stick, The Field, Strong Sad's Room, TGS Paper (easter egg)

SKUB: I wonder what the easter egg is??

Transcript

{Cut to Zarel's Room}

ZAREL: {singing} It's more than an email... {higher pitch} More than an email! {normal pitch} When I type on that old keyboard they used to use... {higher pitch} More than an email!

SKUB: Thanks! Now I hate Boston.
CHWOKA: What's there to like? The accent?
NACHOMAN: {nasally singing} aaaAAAaand she's BUYING a stairWAY to EmaIIIIIL!
BLUEBRY: this reference wouldn't be in here if the song wasn't in guitar hero

NOXIGAR: {singing in countertenor} IF THERE'S A BUSTLE IN YOUR HEDGEROW, DON'T BE ALARMED NOW

subj: style?

Dear Zarel, Whats your favorite style out of all of these?

Crappy, Peppy, Emo, or LOL?

BLUEBRY: indie
NACHOMAN: juggalo
BLUEBRY: actually juggalo

NOXIGAR: Quite easily one can just say "None of the above" and still be tolerated in comedy. Or even ask if the emailer knows about other genres like Joel probably would've done.

And i don't want any of that none of the above crap.

BLUEBRY: too bad, it's juggalo

NOXIGAR: Suddenly I get a feeling Bluebry's missing the point of each line on purpose.

Censorly,

Abdi LaRue

{Zarel reads "Censorly" as "Señorly"}

SKUB: This joke is like month-old cola.
CHWOKA: How's that?
SKUB: IT FELL FLAT
{Chwoka golf-claps.}

NOXIGAR: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THIS JOKE ALSO FELL FLAT.

ZAREL: {typing} Hm...tough choice there, Abdi. Tough choice. {clears screen, continues typing} I could say I don't really like any of those.

BLUEBRY: I BET IT'S JUGGALO

NOXIGAR: Dude what is with you and "juggalo"?

Allow me to explain why I dislike all of those styles.

CHWOKA: Can I refuse him this request?

NOXIGAR: No. You may not. I AM THE PUPPETMASTER AND YOU WILL MAKE FETCH HAPPEN. ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROLLLLL

Let's start now, shall we?

SKUB: {frustrated} Oh- didn't the sender say not to do this? Like, explicitly?
NACHOMAN: This guy should just be honored that Zarel even bothered to check his email

NOXIGAR: Yes, you should be. Because then you wouldn't have anything to cower behind from Lucian Summers' crackback at your thinly-veiled attempts at personally attacking him for his liking of the furry community.

{Cut to The Stick. Homestar and Homeschool are standing there.}

ZAREL: {voiceover} First up, there's the LOL style.

BLUEBRY: bout that: doesn't really exist

This involves leetspeak and text chat.

BLUEBRY: oh, you mean geek. we call that geek
SKUB: Dang, why not just flip off the entirety of the internet? I mean, we usually communicate with text anyhow

{Anything in parenthesis is how it's pronounced, subtitles are provided at the bottom}

HOMESTAR: Hi, bff 4 lyfe! how r u? ("Hi, bee-ef-ef four lie-fuh! How are you?")

SKUB: The sad part? People actually talk like this.
BLUEBRY: i only do it ironically

NOXIGAR: Nice factual statement, Skullbuggy.

HOMESCHOOL: Nm, u? ("En-em. You?")

HOMESTAR: Gewd, ty ty. ("Gewd, Tie Tie.")

{Strong Bad walks in}

STRONG BAD: Stcu, Homestar! ("St-coo, Homestar!")

SKUB: Hey Chwoka, you know what houses are made of in New Mexico?
CHWOKA: I can't guess.
SKUB: STCCO
CHWOKA: {dry heave}

NOXIGAR: Didn't somebody lecture me on how punchlines justify set ups?
{dry heave}

HOMESTAR: {angrily} No u! ("No you!")

ZAREL: {voiceover} Argh. This is making me rofpmbo. ("Rof-pum-bo.") Or...rolling on floor puking my brains out.

SKUB: Please say this doesn't lead into Yellow Dragon Action.
NACHOMAN: I think Homestar's shouting is probably the most action we're going to see.

NOXIGAR: THIS IS AN EMAIL SHOW HOW MUCH ACTION DO YOU WANT?

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: Next style. Crappy.

CHWOKA: Crappy? Cappy? Ah? Ah?
BLUEBRY: oh, also not a style. who knew

NOXIGAR: No it's a pun you-
Wait you almost made this joke on the Zarel Emails main page.

{Cut to the Field, where the Poopsmith is shoveling whatsit}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Self-explanatory.

SKUB: Did they really need to cut anywhere? /me beep beep
NACHOMAN: It's not so much a style as it is indentured servitude.

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: Alright, onward to Emo.

{Cut to Strong Sad's room, where Strong Sad is writing poetry}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Again, self-explanatory.

SKUB: Oh come on, he's not emo. He's just a sad sack of depressing fat.
BLUEBRY: also emo kids are thin

NOXIGAR: No, Strong Sad is the embodiment of emo you dumb shits AGGGHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: And finally, there's Peppy.

BLUEBRY: also not a style

Dear crap I hate that one. That's the one that involves all the adolescent to teenage girls talking about shopping and clothing and hair and vampires and-

SKUB: I DON'T LIKE TWILIGHT, LETE ME TELL YOU WHY

NOXIGAR: I DON'T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE MAKE THE AUTHOR'S OPINION KNOWN, EVEN IF THEY DO THAT NEAR EVERY SODDING TV SHOW EVER MADE

TJ: Actually I think you have that confused with another style.

SKUB: WOW IT'S THE AUTHOR!!!

NOXIGAR: WOW IT'S A BUNCH OF AUTHORS ALL BULLYING A DIFFERENT AUTHOR BECAUSE HE'S DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF YOU
HOW COME FETCH IS NOT HAPPENING?

ZAREL: What? How the crap do people keep getting in my house?

CHWOKA: you're a ladies magnet
BLUEBRY: because everyone leaves it under the mat

TJ: You...uh...didn't lock your front door.

ZAREL: Oh...so anyway, fox burglar,

BLUEBRY: GET IT

NOXIGAR: No actually I don't get it.

what do you mean?

TJ: You're talking about "preppy." That email says "peppy."

ZAREL: Do a barrel roll?

SKUB: {dry heave}
CHWOKA: {wet heave}
NACHOMAN: This is about as funny as it gets.

NOXIGAR: You're kidding. You have to be. Zarel Emails is not as bad as you guys are making it sounds. You're just hiding behind this riff to personally harangue the author.

TJ: {facepaw}

CHWOKA: ghsgsf
NACHOMAN: Amazing. Cyrus managed to write the worst line ever in the history of literature. It's, it's mind boggling.

NOXIGAR: {facepaw}
NOXIGAR: Before y'all bitch about it, yes this a joke.

Not that Peppy. I mean like happy.

ZAREL: Well I'm not happy now since somebody decided they can wiggle their little red fluffy tail into my house.

NACHOMAN: Oh no you di-in't girlfriend {clicks fingers}

{Noxigar snaps his fingers in a z-formation in utter mockery}

TJ: {groan} Alright, I'm outta here.

CHWOKA: Man, I'm outta heeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEreeeeeeeeeee

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: {typing} So anyway, Aldibrand or whatever your name was, I don't have a favorite. See? I didn't say none of the above, I just said I have no specific favorite. HAH!

SKUB: "Zarel DaWindragon: Dodging Questions Like a Politicians Since 2010"

NOXIGAR: "MFT3K: We Hate Anyone Who Isn't In The Plastics"
NOXIGAR: Yes I am calling the Choom Gang "The Plastics" because that's exactly what they are :V

{The Paper}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Strong Bad when Zarel says rofpmbo (Rofpumbo) to bring up a picture of a pot roast covered in bleu cheese dressing and mustard with rainbow sprinkles on it. It says "Try our Rofpumbo! It's yummy!" on it.

SKUB: Somewhere, somehow, that is haute cuisine.
BLUEBRY: and that place is the south

• Click on "shopping and clothing" for an extra scene.

Easter Egg Transcript

{cut to a TGS comic}

CHEERLEADER: Hey, gals! Let's get ready to shop for clothing that'll make us look SO GOOD!

BLUEBRY: omg i wanna go

SO-AND-SO: A'ight.

WHAT'S-HER-FACE: A'ight.

THE UGLY ONE: A'igh-

{a TGS Zarel appears in the comic}

CHWOKA: ZAREL: A'ight.

ZAREL: WRONG!

BLUEBRY: whatever we'll go to jcrew without you

{Cut to a scene where Cheerleader is getting impaled by the pencil used to draw the comic}

STRONG BAD: {narrating} ANGRY CO-ILLUSTRATOR'D!

CHEERLEADER: Ow, my filmography!

SKUB: Keywords: zarel email teen girl squad fanstuff dry heave

Fun Facts

• The opening email song is a take on "More Than A Feeling" by Boston.
• Abdi LaRue is actually from Strong Bad Email "some kinda robot."
• Various text chat abbreviations are used during the LOL style scene. Some of these stand for:

bff - Best friend(s) forever

nm - Nothing much

ty - Thank you

stcu - Shut the crap up

rofpmbo - Roll on floor puking my brains out (Zarel made this up,

BLUEBRY: no really

it's modified from rofl, which means "rolling on floor laughing"}

• Zarel, when talking about preppy girls, mentions they like shopping, pretty clothing, pretty hair, and vampires. The last statement refers to the Twilight fanbase, but more along the lines of girls who dream about marrying Edward Cullen or Jacob and being sparkly vampires.

SKUB: Somebody got stood up!
BLUEBRY: dude, jacob's abs

NOXIGAR: Are nothing to really fawn over. CONFOUND THOSE COMMERCIALS. OH HOW I HATE THEM.

• Zarel refers to Peppy Hare of the Star Fox video game series. In Star Fox 64, Peppy is most known for saying, "Do a barrel roll!"

SKUB: I cannot :I hard enough
CHWOKA: :I

NOXIGAR: :I see now you're just trying too hard.

• Zarel calls Abdi "Aldibrand" in the end of the email. This references Aldi Brand Cola, a type of soda in Australia that is a favorite of Super Sam.

NACHOMAN: Now if only he would make more references to jibney...