(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/MFT3K/Bell Quest/8
SKULLB: Cool, Bell's attempting to inject music into this. Probably from an anime.
IM A BELL: Uhh... Man, they're supposed to be he-
{I Am Bell breaks through the floor and punches Im a bell. 5 seconds later, Bellzar, Stink-Up, I Am ShineZ, I Am Acidgrrl, Watashi Beru, Stinkoman, and 1-up appear}
I AM BELL: WHATISUPMYDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE?!!!!!!!!!!!
CHWOKA: Bell takes such liberties with accents and the like.
NOXIGAR: Just the average shoehorning of Homestar Runner jokes, I thought?
ACIDGRRL: Always gotta push it, huh?
I AM SHINEZ: That's right!
I AM BELL: Because we're...
I AM BELL & SHINEZ: THE WATASHI BROTHERS!
CHWOKA: I wish they were the Karoshi brothers.
SKULLB: THE CAPITALIZATION PALS~!
BADSTAR: These are the people that are going to help us save the world?
BELLZAR:{sighs} Unfortunately, ye-WAIT, "SAVE THE WORLD"? I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST RESCUING BLING!!!!
BLUEBRY: WELL APPARENTLY NOT!!!!!!!!!!
STINK-UP: With Bling inide a demon, rescuing him is saving the world.
CHWOKA: Well then, I'm out.
NOXIGAR: I thought you were permanently inide a theatre.
THE VILLAINS: Ahem.
CHWOKA: Who is he? A The Cheat variation?
H44WP: Did you forget about us?
BELLZAR: Yes. Yes we did.
BLUEBRY: Maybe if you didn't have a main cast of 40+ people...
NOXIGAR: OH SHIT. A MAIN CAST OF 40+ PEOPLE?! There are scenarios I can think of that introduce so many characters, major or not... like Big Bang Theory to name one example of American television programs that do this.
{H44WP punches Bellzar in the face}
{The villains run to the other side of the room.}
DEMON BELL: You will never get us from over here!
SKULLB: Okay, wait. Is every character just Bell? That would explain a lot of things.
NOXIGAR: I wouldn't be surprised if the Bells of Notre Dame also showed up, either.
IM A BELL: Yes we-oh, wait, for some reason we're stuck in the floor. We can't get them...
BELLZAR: Wait, Bellson's over there! Wait, he's tied up. Right.
BLUEBRY: Wait, repeat "wait" some more!
NOXIGAR: Wait, wait, wait...what?
BELLSON ROBOT: Bellson Robot Clone V1. Self destruct.
{The tied up Bellson explodes}
IM A BELl: Jesus Christ!!! B-Bellson?
JESUS: Yeah?
SKULLB: No, Jesus! Run! Run far away!
BELLSON: What? That was just a robot decoy, so I could run back over here and get you all unstuck.
IM A BELL: Now that I think about it, I am unstuck!
SKULLB: oh hahaha its ironic becausethe only cure for my fever is more feverbell is awful
NOXIGAR: Gaston would like to have a word with you. In private.
ANTI-BLING: Yays!
{H44WP Pulls a lever. A million, trillion Homsar robots come out.}
BLUEBRY: "Hey guys, let's add new elements to the environment halfway through the scene!" "Oh great idea!"
IM A BELL: Oh. My. God.
BLUEBRY: Look. At. Her butt.
HOMDROIDS: DA-A-A! A-A-A! A-A-A! DZZT!
H44WP: Meet the Homdroids! Now, prepare to die!!!!
BLUEBRY: Just use some Homdroid cream. I prefer Preparation H.
NOXIGAR: {imitating Dr. Evil} WHAT? YOU WANT SOME ICE CREAM?
SHINEZ: Blaaaaahhhh don't think so! COOLNESS DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SKULLB: Does this make writing look good? I should try it!!!!!!!!
NOXIGAR: NO, DON'T! IT'S A TRAP!
IM A BELL: It didn't work.
SHINEZ: What? But I'm cool!
IM A BELL: Hehe...no you're not.
BLUEBRY: Hey, neither are you.
NOXIGAR: And the "you're not cool" loop goes on, and on, and on.
BADSTAR: What are we gonna do?
SHINEZ: Uhh... sit here and wait for me to be cool?
BADSTAR: I mean the robots! What are we gonna do about the robots!?
IM A BELL: Find Marvin. He'll just depress them to death.
CHWOKA: Bell has a business card that says "Ruining everything you ever liked since 1996"
NOXIGAR: La li lu le lo.
STINK-UP: How about we do this instead?
{Stink-Up put's
SKULLB: Put is
both of his fists in the air. one glows white and one glows red. His hands glow brighter and brighter by the second. A guitar appears.}
BLUEBRY: We will die rocking.
STINK UP: {Holding guitar} Alright guys follow my lead.
IM A BELL: Oh My God!
CHWOKA: My is totally a proper noun.
Hold on...
{Im a bell pulls a golden Flying V guitar out. It turns black. Im a bell throws it into the air, and it rtraansfoms into a giant zanpakuto}
BLUEBRY: What would have been the redeeming moment of the entire fic has been ruined.
SKULLB: anime
IM A BELL: I can fight with the guitar, but I'd like to try out my Ano Yo Kyo-ki ["Underworld Insanity"] out.
STINK-UP: NO. We rock. The rock will overload their systems. Or something like that.
BLUEBRY: YES BRING THE AWESOMENESS OF THE ROCK
CHWOKA: WE WANNA ROCK!
SKULLB: IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS ROCK {sweet lixx}
NOXIGAR: {singing} Shout, shout.
LET IT ALL OUT.
These are the things I can do without.
COME ON!
I'm talking to you.
COME ON!
IM A BELL: Oh. In that case, {guitar transforms back to normal} So, what song we playin'? Dare To Be Stupid?
BLUEBRY: Okay, now the entire moment has been ruined.
Freebird? Thick As A Briiiiick?!!
STINK-UP: Better. The Party song!!! {http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAbuZDLDJ0s This song.}
CHWOKA: That's an action?
SKULLB: Yeah, he had to go find a computer and bring up his anime songs on his Youtube playlist. Thank God this is abridged.
IM A BELL: Uhh... Nah. {starts playing} Put down the chainsaw and listen to meee! It's time for us to join in the fight! It's time to let our babies grow-up to-be cowboys! It's time to let the bedbugs bite!
BLUEBRY: where is my gun WHERE IS MY GUN
SKULLB: How is Bell not getting tail at this point? You know, besides the whole "unlikable to the point of aggression" thing.
BADSTAR: Let's sing a song we both like. And we better do it quick. The robots are getting here. Let's have a vote.
BLUEBRY: DO NOT MIND THE ROBOTS COMING TO KILL US, DEMOCRACY MUST PREVAIL
CHWOKA: It's like Lucy from "Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown".
Whoever wants to sing the party song raise your hands.
{Everybody except Im a bell raises their hands.}
IM A BELL: All in favor of playing Thick as a brick raise your hands
{Im a bell, the Hombots, Demon Bell, and H44WP raises their hands}
H44WP: What're we voting for?
CHWOKA: War: what is it good for? Yes or No, please.
SKULLB: AaaaAAABSOLUTELY NOTHING
NOXIGAR: Boy howdey i would agree war sux bawls
BADSTAR: How about this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu1-hW9kmZ8
CHWOKA: They are talking in links. Unpronounceable ones, even!
COW: How 'bout this?
CHWOKA: A TALKING COW WHERE DID THIS COME FROM AGGH
SKULLB: When God said "be fruitful and multiply" I'm pretty sure he was being a bit selective in his audience.
IM A BELL: Badstar's idea is better.
BADSTAR: Alright! Let's rock!
IM A BELL: You start.
BADSTAR: How about Stinkoman starts.
STINKOMAN: Fine. {Stinkoman begin's
SKULLB: Begin is
playing the guitar. Soon, Stink-Up and Im a bell join in on their guitars.}
A HOMDROID: Dzzzt!!! Cant... Control... functions... must... {hold up lighter} FREEBIRD!!!!
BADSTAR: {Singing.} must have been blind I missed all the signs, The hints and the clues you gave me. You think its a game Where no one's to blame And you can decide to save me...
SKULLB: gfhg
{Im a bell starts singing.}
IM A BELL: When everything's touch and go And you push that buttons that make me slow til I stop The pain I can understand But I can't know everything if everything is suffering...
SHINEZ: {Singing} I don't know what you had in mind. Is this your ideal waste of time. I don't know what your here to find. Maybe It's not much but it's still mine.
{Guitar solo.}
BELLSON: {Singing.} It must be the end You told all your friends Your very own version of things then...
PTER: {Singing.} Don't like to complain You're not even sane And that's being kind and flattering
HOMESTAR:{singing, badly} Now that I am Homestar Run...ner, And you run into me it's just four o'clock, til you mop The something I can get, But I know everything if everything is pudding!
1-UP: THAT'S MY LINE! Oh, well. {Singing badly.} And I don't know what pudding had in mind Is this your ideal waste of pudding? I don't know what pudding's here to find It's not much but it's still MY PUDDING!!!!
SKULLB: i'm dying insidehe lp meg uys
NOXIGAR: I'd hewp you but I can't seem to stop tripping over stairs, movie seats, and couples making out.
EBENEEZER:{creepily singing} Maybe I'll try to have my doubts Maybe I'll live with my withouts Whatever I lose I'll lose again What's a little fire in all this flame?
{Guitar solo.}
NEOSTINKOMECH: Even THAT's creepy! {awexome singing voice} And I don't know what you had in mind (Is this your ideal waste of time?) I don't know what you're here to find Maybe it's not much
{Guitar solo.}
ANTHRU-BORG: YOU SING LIKE THAT?!!! Wait, why are we even doing this? This is dumb. Oh well. {singing} I don't know what you had in mind Is this your ideal waste of time? I don't know what you're here to find It's not much but it's still mine
SKULLB: aaaaaaaarrarasgfas
EVERYBODY: Don't know what you had in mind Is this your ideal waste of time? I don't know what you're here to find I figured it out it's a waste of time And it's not MIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{All the Homdroids explode.}
BLUEBRY: ...that song sucked. So. Hard.
NOXIGAR: I hate the Music Man. This reminds me of the Music Man in such a way that I can totally agree with you.
H44WP: W-WHAT THE PARSLEY FRUIT WAS THAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!
IM A BELL: That was...
EVERYONE: AN IDEAL WASTE OF TIME!!!
KRAXARIO: I'll say!
SHINEZ: Shut up.
{Everything stops. Cut to everyone in the movie except The villains in a movie theater watching the movie.}
BLUEBRY: omg guys it's us
NOXIGAR: Wait, was Bell riffing himself this entire time? That's awesome!
VEGEROT: Hey! Who stopped the movie!?
IM A BELL: What movie?!!!
CHWOKA: The one that you're watching
BADSTAR: Don't you remember the film makers that kept following us around and told us that they were going to turn our adventure into a movie?
IM A BELL:{blinks} Uhh... no. No I don't.
BADSTAR: Really!? What were you doing the whole trip!?!?
IM A BELL: Reading Hitchhiker's Guide. Then again, I do remember some guy in a beret yelling at me...
CHWOKA: Slowly, Bell pulls out his business card.
BADSTAR: Hey, the movies back on!
CHWOKA: Well, subject-verb agreement left again. Good job, Badstar.
VEGEROT: FINALLY!!!
END OF CHAPTER 8!!!
ALL: Awww, c'mon!!!!!
SKULLB: Make it stop. Please.
NOXIGAR: {singing} Shout, shout.
LET IT ALL OUT.
These are the things I can do without.
COME ON!
I'm talking to you.
COME ON!