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Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Wikihood

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Opening Comments

CHWOKA: okay, here's how it's gonna go down:

CHWOKA: mft3kfeeder is gonna feed you lines, stopping at ever clause

CHWOKA: if you do not have a riff, say "pass"

SKUB: yep

SKUB: i've practiced

CHWOKA: once everybody has said a riff or passed, we'll move on to the next clause

CHWOKA: are we all clear here?

SKUB: yes

SKUB: so we start when

NACHOMAN: we'd better go over the rules a couple hundred more times just to make sure

CHWOKA: we start in exactly 30 minutes

SKUB: k

NACHOMAN: WELL FINE, LEAVE

SKUB: good

NACHOMAN: WE DIDN'T WANT YOU HERE ANYWAY

NACHOMAN: GOSH

CHWOKA: i was really wondeing why he even bothered coming

MFT3KFEEDER: Alright, no funny shit alright

SKUB: no sir

MFT3KFEEDER: if I see ONE bad trriff i'm callign thwe whole thing off

SKUB: yes sir

MFT3KFEEDER: and banning everybody from #thebrinnerclub

SKUB: yes sir understood sir

MFT3KFEEDER: an d revealign the name and password to the choom channel

MFT3KFEEDER: we are running a tight ship round these parts ya hear?

MFT3KFEEDER: I SAID

MFT3KFEEDER: YA HEAR, MAGGOT

NACHOMAN: people

CHWOKA: woah woah!!

SKUB: I HEAR SIR

NACHOMAN: order

SKUB: I HEAR

NACHOMAN: :(

NACHOMAN: people

CHWOKA: calm down mft3kfeeder

NACHOMAN: order

NACHOMAN: our

NACHOMAN: patties

SKUB: pocop

CHWOKA: it;s niot that big a deal

MFT3KFEEDER: EVERYTHING IS A BIG DEAL

MFT3KFEEDER: I'LL KILL YOU

MFT3KFEEDER: IO SWEAR TO GOD

MFT3KFEEDER: I WILL SHIT OFF YOUR HEAD AND CHOP DOWN YOUR THROAT

SKUB: i loled sir

CHWOKA: that doesn't even make any sense

MFT3KFEEDER: SKUB: YOU DO NOT LAUGH UNLESS LAUGHTENED TOO

SKUB: yes s-sir

CHWOKA: mft3kfeeder i'm afraidf you;ve gone

CHWOKA: MAD WITH POWER

CHWOKA: i'm gonqing to have to take your voice away until we're ready to star

CHWOKA: t

MFT3KFEEDER: NO FUCK YOU DAD

  • Chwoka sets mode: -o MFT3KFeeder
  • Chwoka sets mode: -v MFT3KFeeder

CHWOKA: god that guys was an asshole

CHWOKA: sorry

CHWOKA: apologies, skub, nachoman, kawaiimelon

NACHOMAN: i hope we won't just be putting on a show for only one person

NACHOMAN: I would feel very unfulfilled

SKUB: i hope we put on a show for a better person

SKUB: like the president

SKUB: get OBAMA in HERE

CHWOKA: all we could afford is this cardboard cutout of bush jr.

SKUB: good enough

SKUB: though his relevance is suspect

CHWOKA: sorry upon closer inspection it's bush sr. impersonating bush jr.

CHWOKA: it's like

CHWOKA: it's like he sees my soul

CHWOKA: ooh i have an idea

CHWOKA: skub do you havwe a sharpie on ya

SKUB: always

SKUB: always

SKUB: gotta stay huffed up for big meetings

CHWOKA: cool hand it over

  • +Skub gives it therr
  • @Chwoka colors in GeorgeBushCutout's face and hands with black sharpie

CHWOKA: there

CHWOKA: obama

CHWOKA: nobody will know the difference

  • BlackGeorgeBushC is now known as BlackBushCutout

CHWOKA: here you go skub

  • @Chwoka f-hoists it on over

CHWOKA: WELL WELL WELL

CHWOKA: LOOK WHAME RUNNING BACK WITH THEIR TAIL BETWEEN THEIR LEGS

SKUB: i love black george w. bush

CHWOKA: looks like you're the pottle...

CHWOKA: the pot AND kettle

SKUB: LOOK WHAME

CHWOKA: THE WHITE WHAME

CHWOKA: WHAME!'s hit, WHAKE ME UP BEFORE I GO GO

SKUB: it's a nice day for a white whameing

CHWOKA: well you can tell by the way i use my walk i'm a whameans man, no time to talk

SKUB: before this fucking becomes a running gag

SKUB: i need to stop this

CHWOKA: fnaw

NACHOMAN: !seen Rainer

NACHOMAN: ;(

CHWOKA: skub: since when has mft3k ever used running gags?

CHWOKA: come on !!!

SKUB: yes, true

SKUB: we do keep things going at a fast pace around here

SKUB: no stale jokes

SKUB: you could say that

SKUB: ........

SKUB: THE ACTION NEVER STTTTTTTOPS

  • @Chwoka kick he in the nutbag!!!

SKUB: what a baka

  • +Skub dry heave
  • @Chwoka SPOOK CLIFF
  • @Chwoka in the drink
  • +Skub hot dragon action

CHWOKA: what does that mean???

  • @Chwoka IN THE DRINK

CHWOKA: I DON'T KNWO WHAT THAT MEANS

CHWOKA: HWO HERE CAN TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS

  • Chwoka sets mode: +v MFT3KFeeder

SKUB: diarrhea seizure

MFT3KFEEDER: YOU DONE IT NOW BOY

SKUB: also yesssssssssssssssss

CHWOKA: WHAT DID I DO

SKUB: FUCKIN FEEDER

MFT3KFEEDER: YOU IN THE DRINK

SKUB: you scared away black bush

  • ChanServ sets mode: +o MFT3KFeeder

CHWOKA: WHAT IS THE DRINK

MFT3KFEEDER: YOU IN THE DRINK

SKUB: IT IS A CUP OF SHIT, AND YOU HAVE TO DRINK IT

CHWOKA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • Chwoka was kicked by MFT3KFeeder (Chwoka)

MFT3KFEEDER: skub: wh - MFT3KFEEDER: what?

CHWOKA: okay i don't

  • MFT3KFeeder sets mode: +v Chwoka

CHWOKA: okay i don't even

CHWOKA: i don't even know how you did that

CHWOKA: how HIGH do you even have to BE

MFT3KFEEDER: look at me bitch

MFT3KFEEDER: i'm all the way at the top of the userlist

CHWOKA: look i even brought obamabushbush back with me

CHWOKA: which upon closer inspection is giving nixon's signature 2-peace-signs gesture

CHWOKA: god this cutout is a mess

SKUB: what president is that

SKUB: obuxon

CHWOKA: can i have my ops back now

MFT3KFEEDER: Say it...

CHWOKA: Say what

MFT3KFEEDER: you know.

CHWOKA: Oh.

CHWOKA: Ugh.

CHWOKA: OPS

CHWOKA: PLZ

  • MFT3KFeeder sets mode: +o Chwoka

SKUB: /kick Chwoka

CHWOKA: i hate myself

MFT3KFEEDER: then my mission is accomplished.

  • MFT3KFeeder sets mode: -o MFT3KFeeder

CHWOKA: Seriously, our audience is gonna be Cardboard Obamabushbushnixon and fuckin' KawaiiMelom

CHWOKA: i mean

CHWOKA: that guy's got wapanese

CHWOKA: in

CHWOKA: his

CHWOKA: name

SKUB: NachoMan we're up soon

SKUB: NACHOMAN

CHWOKA: hey is nachoman still awake

CHWOKA: or alive

  • @Chwoka kicks nachoman in he nutbag

NACHOMAN: hi

SKUB: that does it

CHWOKA: WHAT DOES IT

NACHOMAN: i'm drawing a picture of skub :o

SKUB: :O :)

CHWOKA: JohnLennonCutout!!!

CHWOKA: it[s like the opposite of sgt. pepper

SKUB: you say you never want to shut up about fucking WORLD PEACE

CHWOKA: man

CHWOKA: FUCK world peace

MFT3KFEEDER: 1 MINUTE TO SHOWTIME FOLKS

SKUB: YES SIR YES

WIKIHOOD/EPS/44: "Another Bloody Reboot?"

Summary

* HarveyMilkCutout ([email protected]) has joined #mft3k
SKUB: harvey milk!!!! what an allstar cast

Guess.

SKUB: noxigar contracts space cancer


CHWOKA: Oooh, ooh, I know! Everybody dies a bloody death!
CHWOKA: Uhh
CHWOKA: uhh
CHWOKA: Wikihood sucks@
CHWOKA: That;s a good guiess for the plto right
NACHOMAN: oh crap I didn't know we had to study
CHWOKA: or too likely

SKUB: bob saget stops by for family-friendly hijinks

Transcript

NACHOMAN: more like TRANSEXUAL-script right guys??
SKUB: {aaAAAAAAAAsfAFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaggggggg}

{Cut: A sketchbook lies on the ground.

CHWOKA: Conatined within is nothing but dicks.}

Yensid picks it up, curiously.}

CHWOKA: Curiosity killed the cat.
SKUB: yensid is disney backwards and by that logic this is going to be kingdom hearts
SKUB: /nic cage
CHWOKA: WELL AREN'T WE COOL CATS
CHWOKA: MEOW
SKUB: mweo
CHWOKA: fuckin''
CHWOKA: skbu
NACHOMAN: Oh, that crazy Yensid, who knows what crazy situation this will get him into!

YENSID: Hrm?

CHWOKA: �{Yensid cocks his head to the side like in one of my catperson animes.}�
NACHOMAN: Is it to early to say the action never stops
CHWOKA: �{wait is yensid a boy or a girl}
SKUB: i saw "yensid cocks" and i got really excited

Who originally made this sketch?

CHWOKA: Try turning to the frontof the book.
SKUB: WHO HAS MASTERED THE ART OF THE PHALLUS
CHWOKA: Them... I don't expect mcuh from them, but you?

{Yensid picks it up,

CHWOKA: pick it up, hup hup
SKUB: ska boOM
NACHOMAN: pick it up pick it- FUCK YOU
CHWOKA: NO FUCK YOU DAD
SKUB: guess i win this round

to read the word "Namine" aloud.

SKUB: ugh UGH UGH
SKUB: so sick of kingdom hearts

He shrugs with indifference.}

* @Chwoka shrugs EMPHATICALLY
* +Skub shrugs DISAPPOINTEDLY
* +Skub or maybe like an ANIME
SKUB: where am i going with this fuckign joke
NACHOMAN: I don't really know who I am or what I'm doing, but who cares? {shrugs}
CHWOKA: SKUB: isss like a fuckin' TRAINWHreck

YENSID: I can tell where this is going.

CHWOKA: Straight into the trash!
SKUB: NOXIGAR: It's my turn to save the day,
CHWOKA: Wait I just realized you guys
NACHOMAN: yes?
SKUB: what
CHWOKA: sketchbooks are protals between worlds in this world


SKUB: wait is that- is that REALLY true
NACHOMAN: obviously
CHWOKA: he;'s stealing ideas from fuckin' MYST
SKUB: myst was an okay game at best
CHWOKA: myst was awesome
CHWOKA: oh my god how did they fit so much on one cd-rom
SKUB: the graphics were shit
SKUB: the voice acting was balls on toast
SKUB: and the puzzles were so terrible
SKUB: but i liked it too and WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT MYST
CHWOKA: SIRIUS: my brother is crazy!
NACHOMAN: Party Stopping Question: Would you rather read a fan fiction with ideas stolen from Myst or Kingdom Hearts?
SKUB: ACHENAR: no he's crazy!
SKUB: NOXIGAR: no i'm best
SKUB: NachoMan: MYST GOD
CHWOKA: {This forms the entirety of the plot of Myst}
CHWOKA: {Then we never hear abotu these guys for the rest of the series}
SKUB: okay uh, where are, where is the wikihod

{Yensid discards the sketchbook into an incinerator,

CHWOKA: Oh, the incinerator that was totally there a few seconds ago.
SKUB: destroying the beautiful penises in what historians call a "dick move"
NACHOMAN: Now that I know sketchbooks are portals between worlds, this makes TONS more sense

where it gets burnt to a crisp.

SKUB: in america they're called chips

He sits down, drawing.}

SKUB: drawing in- in what
CHWOKA: �more, better, dicks
SKUB: the sketchbook you just burned?
CHWOKA: skub: no he just has a backpack
CHWOKA: full of sketchbooks
NACHOMAN: "In this scene, Koi Kitsune fights off all the bullies who wants to steal her mangas"
CHWOKA: in case he ever need to get his draw on
SKUB: as we all do
CHWOKA: you're an arteste, i'm sure you undestand skub
CHWOKA: whoops!
SKUB: i am a teste
CHWOKA: freudian slip


YENSID: A Nobody,

CHWOKA: HE'S A REAL NOWHERE MAN
SKUB: noxigar approaches
NACHOMAN: "that's who I am!"

having the same hobby as me and enjoying it?

SKUB: that's literally impossible
NACHOMAN: "I thought I was the only one who knew what modular characters were!"

Poppycock.

CHWOKA: Oh, damn and blast!
SKUB: dash it, wot!!
SKUB: i learn all my curses from dr. who~

{Yensid begins drawing

SKUB: i thought he already began
CHWOKA: but but he just HE JUST
SKUB: drawing penises
NACHOMAN: "this "draw your own hentai in 3 easy steps" book was a total ripoff"

and sits at his front porch.

CHWOKA: so what i am taking from this is that he has an incinerator on his front porch
NACHOMAN: so is the aforementioned inci- yeah that
SKUB: he's got eight incinerators on cinderblocks on his lawn
SKUB: he's gonna get em fixed soon bob


Later, Noxigar arrives via dimensional warping}

CHWOKA: as we all do from time to time
CHWOKA: i don't need to elaborate
SKUB: guys brb i gotta go for a second
* +Skub warps into FUCKING SPACE
SKUB: i'm back
NACHOMAN: "unfortunately, he warps into a piece of furniture and dies painfully"

NOXIGAR: Ah, you must be Yensid, right?

CHWOKA: WRONG
SKUB: YENSID: of course i've known you forever!
NACHOMAN: "Could you tell by the tattoo of the word "Disney" on my forehead?"








{Yensid gets up}

CHWOKA: gets on up, stays on the scene, gets on up, like a sex machine, gets on up
SKUB: get down
NACHOMAN: this scene is for the ladiesss

YENSID: Why am I waking up with another of you on the front porch?

CHWOKA: noxigar is like ants
SKUB: last time i drink rye whiskey
NACHOMAN: oh god are there more noxigars that we don't know about

NOXIGAR: Pardon?

CHWOKA: No.
CHWOKA: I do not pardon you.
CHWOKA: You have committed atrocities against literature.

I have a name, you know.

SKUB: your name is toby
NACHOMAN: MY NAME IS JONAS

YENSID: And I,

SKUB: will always love you
CHWOKA: IIIIIIIIIII come from the aiiiiiir, i, see for myself
SKUB: talkin hades








for one,

CHWOKA: two, three times a lady
NACHOMAN: is the loneliest number
SKUB: boo
SKUB: boo

don't care.

"DIDN'T YOU SEE MY INDIFFERENT DHRUG"
SKUB: dr. hug, md
NACHOMAN: I would quote that one phil collins song if it didn't suck testicles

{Noxigar takes out a bottle of venom

CHWOKA: That bot-tle's poissssssssssssoooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
NACHOMAN: it was actually just grape juice, but he told all the kids at school it was venom

and hits the chair Yensid is sitting on.

CHWOKA: With the venom or with his feet or something?
CHWOKA: Clarity is important!
NACHOMAN: furniture abuse is a serious problem and should not be joked about

He recoils in pain,

CHWOKA: I'm mellting I'm MeEeEeLtInG
CHWOKA: hey guys remember when alternating caps meant homsar and not gamzee
NACHOMAN: Ow, my chair!
SKUB: OW MY CHAIR YOU HIT ME RIGHT IN THE CHAIR
SKUB: nachoman god
SKUB: god dammit
NACHOMAN: o/
CHWOKA: \o
SKUB: o
SKUB: o

while Noxigar takes another bottle and throws it at the door,

CHWOKA: NO FUCK YOU, DOOR
NACHOMAN: "How's anyone gonna open you when you're covered in venom!? Ha haaaha!"
SKUB: FNUM HUM HUM HUM

melting it.}

CHWOKA: So, it's not venom, then.
CHWOKA: It's acid.
NACHOMAN: it's SUPER venom!
SKUB: venom doesn't fucking
SKUB: fucking melt WOOD
NACHOMAN: skub have you even ever SEEN venom

NOXIGAR: I destroy worlds unworthy.

NACHOMAN: "First your chair and door, then THE WORLD"
SKUB: i destroy worlds that don't like my naruto headband i wear in real life
SKUB: also destroying worlds with wood-melting venom is a hell of an accomplishment
CHWOKA: I am Galactus, only �way cooler

The Kingdom Hearts universe has stopped being worthy a long time ago.

CHWOKA: �you can say that again
SKUB: hahahahahahahahahaha
NACHOMAN: aaaand here's where I lose any hope that the story may be even slightly good
CHWOKA: NachoMan: when did you think it might be good

I also killed Scott Pilgrim,

SKUB: thanks for that
NACHOMAN: LET ME CRAM IN AS MANY REFERENCES TO SHIT I LIKE AS I POSSIBLY CAN
CHWOKA: NOXIGAR: Guys these are movies i don't like lete me list you why
SKUB: ALSO I KILL THINGS, ARENT I EDGY AS A FUCKER

as well as destroyed several other worlds from really buggery places,

NACHOMAN: I WENT TO THE TWILIGHT UNIVERSE AND KILLED BELLA SWAN
SKUB: wots 'is buggery
CHWOKA: I WENT TO THE TWILIGHT ZONE UNIVERSE AND BECAME THE MAN ON THE WING OF TH PLANE

the primary worlds being those of M. Night Shamalan's directing.

CHWOKA: Ohhhh snap!
SKUB: OH DID YOU
CHWOKA: He did NOT just go there!
SKUB: DID YOU JUST WHIP THAT OUT MAN!!!
SKUB: damn he is a comedic fucking GENIUS
SKUB: lookat him fuckin juxtaposing that comedy and drama
NACHOMAN: Then my mom asked me to take out the trash so I BURNED HER WITH VENOM AS WELL


If you'd like,

CHWOKA: iffff you really want me, annnndddd you think i'm sexxxy

I can delay your demise for a few seconds

SKUB: , DAD
CHWOKA: Oh great, merciful, powerful, and wise Noxigar! Would you please pay me that small kindness?
NACHOMAN: "if you blow me, I might consider letting you live for another thirty seconds"

if you'll tell me why I should spare THIS world.

CHWOKA: We've got kittens!
SKUB: because we all think you're super cool and dateable
SKUB: "perfect"
NACHOMAN: We've got all the Kingdom Hearts bootleg figurines you can handle!

YENSID: ...if a Heartless is destroyed before the Nobody,

NACHOMAN: are "heartless" and "nobody" people, or am i missing someting or

the Nobody returns.

SKUB: i dont get it
CHWOKA: Isn't a nobody just an absense of people?
NACHOMAN: is nobody somebody?
SKUB: who is the nobody??
CHWOKA: I get the feeling that this is more Kingdom Hearts shit
SKUB: do you really
CHWOKA: even though he just SAID HE DESTROYED THE KINGDOM HEARTS WORLD
SKUB: well if he's anything like bell he can just make it again but sculpt the canon to his liking

{Noxigar laughs,

SKUB: dee hur hur hur hur
CHWOKA: HA HA HA oh i just remembered the funniest joke!
CHWOKA: anyway, time to kill you
NACHOMAN: Now if you look at Graph 5a, you'll see a shocking correlation between people who write Kingdom Heart's fanfiction and potray themselves as Mary Sues, and people who have never known the touch of a woman

taking out a green morningstar.}

SKUB: THE GREEN SUN
NACHOMAN: OH NO NOT THE GREE MORNINGSTAR
CHWOKA: what is a morningstar is it like a ninja satr or a star of david or what
CHWOKA: excuse me: wot wot
NACHOMAN: GREEN Shit
CHWOKA: NachoMan: you should have that checked out
NACHOMAN: it burns when I pee :(

NOXIGAR: I expect

NACHOMAN: you to die, mr. bond
CHWOKA: 20 frisky nubile ladies on my matress and oranges with the pits taken out!

not to be foolishly told old people's tales

SKUB: what use is there for books when there are mangas
CHWOKA: yeah grandpa WE GET IT ALREADY nasa was awesome yeah yeah
NACHOMAN: back in my day we had to walk fifteen miles in the snow, uphill, just to read melancholy of haruhi suziama

from the simulated town.

CHWOKA: And this is where I lose track of the concepts.

NACHOMAN: ssooooo
NACHOMAN: green morningstar?
NACHOMAN: anyone care to explain whoh nevermind

SKUB: yeah

{Noxigar severely bludgeons

* Chwoka lightly bludgeons Skub.
  • Skub hearfelt bludgeons chwoka

CHWOKA: aww skubb
NACHOMAN: skub wanna go to the back room and bludgeon for a while
SKUB: god yes
CHWOKA: get a room, you two!

CHWOKA: and also, later,

Yensid over the head with the morningstar,

NACHOMAN: the GREEN morningstar, mind you

applying a poison to his exposed brain.}

SKUB: um

CHWOKA: was this the poison that's also the venom that's also the acid
SKUB: so you just killed the wizard from the sorceror's apprentice
SKUB: well actually he'll be okay if he's not made of wood

NACHOMAN: I told him to cover his brain up in public but those kids today just don't have no respect

NOXIGAR: Now,

CHWOKA: DANCE MY PUPPETS

MFT3KFeeder: (((by the way guys)))
SKUB: (((yes)))
MFT3KFeeder: (((noxigar's sentences, the character's, always have a shitload of clauses)))
MFT3KFeeder: (((so that's why i'm splitting it up so short)))
SKUB: (((wow goddammit he's so bad at writing)))
MFT3KFeeder: (((there are just so mamny places to insert a riff)))

NACHOMAN: (((people order our patties)))

if you'll excuse me,

SKUB: ~fart~

CHWOKA: {poot}
NACHOMAN: l0l
CHWOKA: skub god DAMN IT
CHWOKA: I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR SKULL AND POSION YOUR BRAIN

SKUB: NOT WITH THE GREEN MORNINGSTAR

I have some unfinished business

CHWOKA: with an inflatable woman.

with a spiky blonde twerp

CHWOKA: eh, same thing, they're both airheaded
NACHOMAN: is it a spiky person with blond hair, or a person with spiky hair that is also blond?

and some unfortunate souls

SKUB: POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS

for which to turn into energy crystals.

CHWOKA: FOR WHICH TO

CHWOKA: THIS GUYS IS FUCKING ADDICTED TO CLAUSES AND CONJUNCTIONS
NACHOMAN: are these energy crystals in any way related to the GREEN MORNINGSTAR
SKUB: GREEN MORNINGSTAR, forged in the fires of SPOOK CLIFF i mean MOUNTAIN
CHWOKA: god nachoman just shut up about the green morningstar already
NACHOMAN: but it's

NACHOMAN: green

{Noxigar leaves Yensid's front porch, dropping several vials of gas clouds

CHWOKA: �{poot}

SKUB: ~fa- GOD DAMMIT
CHWOKA: HA
CHWOKA: SKUB 1 CHWOKA 1
NACHOMAN: this story is nothing but kingdom hearts and fart jokes
SKUB: but really nobody wins

CHWOKA: you never win this game, trust me

which tear away at the universe

SKUB: what did he eat

NACHOMAN: mexican food

  • NachoMan ba dum tish?
SKUB: nah

as their owner departs

CHWOKA: Who?

SKUB: you know i should really be outraged at that gas clouds eating the universe thing but
SKUB: eh

NACHOMAN: that universe had it coming anyway

via the corridor of darkness}

SKUB: that's a sweet christian rock band name

CHWOKA: That sounds either dirty or astronomical.
CHWOKA: Or astronomically dirty.
NACHOMAN: was the corridor of darkness summoned by the green mo--

  • NachoMan is killed by chwoka

CHWOKA: SHUT UP NACHOMAN
CHWOKA: GOD

CHWOKA: DAMN

{A polite knock is at the door.

CHWOKA: as the universe and all of spacetiem unravel

NACHOMAN: sorry, I can't come to the door, my brain's being dissolved by acid!
CHWOKA: nachoman: poison.

NACHOMAN: whatever

Chaos then bursts through the wall1.}

CHWOKA: GET IT YOU GUYS HE KNOCKED POLITELY THEN BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL

SKUB: DARK CHAOS FROM THE CORRIDOR OF DARKNESS
CHWOKA: IT'S INCONGROUS AND THUS FUNNY
SKUB: it sure is chwoka
SKUB: sort of like shouting
SKUB: all the fucking time
SKUB: you bitch shit
CHWOKA: skub: no no no noxigar left throug hte... corridor of darkenss, this si a new guy
SKUB: oh
SKUB: whatever
NACHOMAN: chaos IS the kool-aid man

CHWOKA: it's very hard to tell because these guys don't like just saying "noxigar" or "chaos" over and over again

CHAOS: What in the hell are you doing?

CHWOKA: What the what?

SKUB: in the butt
NACHOMAN: hey buster, the universe may be falling apart but that's no excuse to swear!

SKUB: get it because i'm from hell, i'm the devil's son from hell,

{Noxigar stops midway through the corridor.}

NACHOMAN: Skub: no that's raiku, remember?

CHWOKA: okay so it was noxigar
SKUB: whatever like i give a shit
CHWOKA: NachoMan: no i'm pretty sure they're both the devil's son
CHWOKA: that lucifer guy gets around

  • Skub puts on fuckin cool shades

NOXIGAR: The universe I helped create is dismantling itself.

NACHOMAN: so the devil's children seem to hold the monopoly on shitty fan fiction?

CHWOKA: oh bull SHIT
CHWOKA: YOU'RE dismantling this
CHWOKA: he even dodges blame from people he KNOWS will be dead in a few seconds
CHWOKA: what a waste of fat spacre

NACHOMAN: maybe it's noxigar's evil twin brother who is the son of christ

So I decided to accelerate the process with this here gas,

CHWOKA: hahahahahahahazhahahaha

NACHOMAN: propane

SKUB: got dang it

which will eat away at the rotting decay

SKUB: SETTLE IN THE ROT

CHWOKA: so it will decay the decay then
CHWOKA: alright
NACHOMAN: but what will decay the decay's decay?

NACHOMAN: did he think of that?

you see before you

CHWOKA: leap

SKUB: a white house
NACHOMAN: obvious exits are north, south and dennis

SKUB: fuckin nachoman

{points at Yensid,

CHWOKA: it's not polite to point

NACHOMAN: it's not pol- FUCK

CHWOKA: it's why obamabushbushnixon is the least poliite of all

the only remaining article to identify him

SKUB: the only remaining article to identify yensid is his body

SKUB: his fully clothed body
CHWOKA: is his dogtags

NACHOMAN: his dental records

being his hat.

CHWOKA: well, we were close

SKUB: oh okay i was wrong
CHWOKA: wait what happened to the chair?
NACHOMAN: sooooo are we supposed to feel sad that this character died?
CHWOKA: i need to know you can't just leave me out like that

SKUB: he was the wizard in one disney short!!! of course!!!!

Noxigar steals the hat.}

SKUB: BUT THE VENOM WILL MELT YOUR BRAIN DONT YOU UNDERSTAND

CHWOKA: YEAH I'M SO BADASS. STEALIN' DEAD PEOPLE'S HATS LIKE I DON'T EVEN CARE. BI
CHWOKA: also what type of hat do you tghink it is
NACHOMAN: a kingdom hearts hat
CHWOKA: a kingdom hearts fedora
SKUB: that

NACHOMAN: yeah that

I'm a Nobody,

* Chwoka eeyore

SKUB: i'm a freak
SKUB: i'm a weirdo
CHWOKA: i'm a bitch
CHWOKA: i'm a lover
CHWOKA: i'm a fighter
CHWOKA: i'm a mother
SKUB: i'm a man
NACHOMAN: i'm NachoMan
SKUB: i'm a little girl
CHWOKA: skub: this is a man's world
SKUB: WHEN WE MAKE LOVE TOGETHER
CHWOKA: but it wouldn't be nothin'
CHWOKA: no it wouldn't be NOTHIN'

CHWOKA: wihtout a woman or a girl

so I don't have to worry about running out of gas

CHWOKA: {poot}

SKUB: chwoka you're the poottle
CHWOKA: CHWOKA 2 SKUB 1
CHWOKA: skub: the poot and kettle?

SKUB: yes

if I can find a proper energy source.

SKUB: baked beans
  • NachoMan groans

CHWOKA: only the most UPSTANDING energy sources
SKUB: SHUT THE FUCK UP I
SKUB: I'M A GENIUS

CHWOKA: (read: british)

Surprisingly, useless Magic the Gathering cards make wondrous chemical compounds

SKUB: oh what a sick burn

NACHOMAN: miracles all up in this bitch
SKUB: yugioh 4 life
CHWOKA: "yeah fuckin' nerds"
CHWOKA: "get a life you dweebs instead of spending all your lunches playing card games for chidlren"
CHWOKA: "now, back to my pokemon self-insertion fanfic..."
CHWOKA: "prtacticing for hte real world over here!"

CHWOKA: "one day i'm gonna be a best-selling author"

when you imbue them with other items.

{He continues through the corridor.}

SKUB: oh my god how long is this

CHWOKA: Why hasn't the universe just enmded yet already god
CHWOKA: cna we just
CHWOKA: move

CHWOKA: on

CHAOS: Noxigar, do you realize what you've done?

CHWOKA: "Nope!"

SKUB: "you've made the best story EVER!!"
SKUB: "and you're so dateable!"
CHWOKA: Skub noxigar isn't writing this part
NACHOMAN: "you went four lines without referencing japan in some way! you're out o the club!"
SKUB: well chaos is obviously noxigar's lapdog
SKUB: it explains why noxigar didn't melt him with venom..............
CHWOKA: SKUB: FUCK IM FALLIN DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS..............

SKUB: i really am

{The portal closes too quickly.}

SKUB: {Noxigar is cut in half but he's boss enough so that it only hurts a little bit.}

NACHOMAN: oh shit not the portal
SKUB: the cake....................
SKUB: is a lie!!!!!!!!

CHWOKA: {Also he regenerates because he has all the powers}

CHAOS: Ugh, I HATE that damn bile-spewing, loudmouthed, world-destroying

SKUB: sexy piece of ass

CHWOKA: rafafragam varmint!
CHWOKA: frgrumblrgrumblemister stone

SKUB: goddamn fucking exemplar

Nobody!

CHWOKA: well you see i'm just the opposite

CHWOKA: i hate everybody
CHWOKA: especially you skub
CHWOKA: <3-
SKUB: god dammit chwoka you're such a nerd
SKUB: sorry i mean cod dammit chwwoka

NACHOMAN: "I liked him back when he was just a world destroying nobody, but ever since he's started spewing all that bile--!!"

He just made the biggest mistake possible!

CHWOKA: HE LEFT THE POPTART IN THE WRAPPER!
SKUB: he didn't put kingdom hearts 2 back in its CASE!!!!

{Cut to a shot of just Namine's Sketchpad.}

SKUB: maxi-pad

CHWOKA: skub: noxi-pad
SKUB: ew\

NACHOMAN: noxigar is literally a tampon

CHAOS: That little book contained

CHWOKA: dicks

SKUB: cocks

  • Chwoka SNYPED

NACHOMAN: dongs
SKUB: willies
SKUB: pricks
SKUB: wangs
NACHOMAN: pants-serpents

SKUB: i can keep fucking going

actual, factual people

CHWOKA: Well, we were close enough.

NACHOMAN: people can't fit in a book!
SKUB: factual people? is that legitimately a phrase

NACHOMAN: that's just silly!

being projected through reality through a series of temporal screw-ups.

CHWOKA: THROUGH REALITY THROUGH AND THROUGH

They weren't in there of their own will,

CHWOKA: woah gettin' all philosophical on us

CHWOKA: do we even have free will, chaos?

CHWOKA: RIDDLE ME THIS

but they had every right to leave.

CHWOKA: Isn't this supposed to be a coemdy series?

CHWOKA: Where are the jokes?
NACHOMAN: factual people have rights too
CHWOKA: I'm just getting worn

CHWOKA: down

{Fires now surround and consume the sketchpad.}

SKUB: ~burp~

CHWOKA: Wait, it was thrown in an incinerator ad\nd it's only NOW burning?

NACHOMAN: "NO! I didn't get to finish that sketch of Mickey holding the sword of destiny or some shit!"

CHAOS: But then he evicted Namine and them and GASSED the universe,

CHWOKA: Just like Hitler.

SKUB: namineva braun

NACHOMAN: obviously someone knew farting was a major turnoff for me and wrote this story just to piss me off

containing everyone else, including me.

CHWOKA: oh my god this is just like inception :3333

SKUB: WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER ~fART~

CHWOKA: WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER INTO KINGDOM HEARTHS

Then these fires basically tore fabrics in the universe.

CHWOKA: but but but

NACHOMAN: basically
CHWOKA: i was willing to accept gas that etars a universe
CHWOKA: but seriously fire
CHWOKA: fire burning an entire universe
CHWOKA: how does it
CHWOKA: but
CHWOKA: whyyy

NACHOMAN: it's a really big fire okay

Sephiroth was the first to go,

CHWOKA: WHOSE ON FIRST

NACHOMAN: followed by several less-important characters
CHWOKA: FUCK
CHWOKA: my dad ignored my warnigns that i had something to do right now
CHWOKA: and now he wants me to do soem wor
CHWOKA: you guys want to continue this or something
SKUB: we can finish this up tomorrow or whatever
CHWOKA: yeah okay
CHWOKA: BREAK
NACHOMAN: :(
SKUB: now i can draw nachoman fan farts

NACHOMAN: woo

Day 2

(part 2) CHWOKA: sorry i'm late folks!

CHWOKA: where the FUCK IS SKUB
CHWOKA: WHERE TH FUCK IS SKUB
NACHOMAN: uhhh idk lol
CHWOKA: sh
CHWOKA: should we start without him and let him join in later?
NACHOMAN: sure
MFT3KFeeder: got damn it
CHWOKA: Brooksie!
CHWOKA: would you like to take the place of skub fgor a while y/n
CHWOKA: brooksieeedeeeee
BROOKSIE: um ive never really riffed but um
BROOKSIE: also why are thirdies not voiced >:O
NACHOMAN: only riffers get voice >:I

CHWOKA: discussioon in ##mft3k

he didn't even have a chance. He was just minding his own business...

CHWOKA: (read: masturbating)
NACHOMAN: if you know what I mean

{Cut to Sephiroth, who's lying down on his bed,

CHWOKA: I don't know, okay!?!

listening to music through his MP3 player}

CHWOKA: ooh la la, oh-so fancy

NACHOMAN: "Generic mp3 players are a great way to rebel against the man"
CHWOKA: flaunting his mp3 player

CHWOKA: such a smug asshole

SEPHIROTH: {Singing}

NACHOMAN: CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIN

CHWOKA: THESE WOUNDS THY WILL NOT HEALLLLLLLLL
BROOKSIE: I LOVE YOU JEEEESSSSSSSUUUUUS CHRIIIIIIIST
CHWOKA: Brooksie, that was awful.
CHWOKA: That was the worst riff ever.
BROOKSIE: Can I start over
CHWOKA: Never say anythign, ever again.

  • Brooksie is now known as RyanBluefox

CHWOKA: Okay fine
CHWOKA: I'm a believer in second chance

RYAN BLUEFOX: :) <(i am actually a lion)

He's just a city boy,

CHWOKA: oh god
CHWOKA: here we go

born and raised in South Detroit..

CHWOKA: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
NACHOMAN: wonderful
RYAN BLUEFOX: I LOVE YOU JEEEESSSSSSSUUUUUS CHRIIIIIIIST
CHWOKA: gotDAMN IT BROOKSIE

NACHOMAN: /kick RyanBluefox

HE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHEREEEEEEEEEEE...

BROOKSIE: It's pun time

CHWOKA: DON'T STOP
CHWOKA: BELIEEVING
CHWOKA: hold on to that
CHWOKA: FEELING
NACHOMAN: so anyway
CHWOKA: streetlight
CHWOKA: PEEEEOPLE
NACHOMAN: I think there was supposed to be a
NACHOMAN: storyline
NACHOMAN: right

  • Chwoka is carted away in a straightjacket

{Suddenly, the gas sweeps through his window

NACHOMAN: Oh no, it's the gas that makes people turn inside-out!

and annihilates him in seconds

BROOKSIE: Chwoka, you're such a gas

CHWOKA: From 0 to dead in 10 seconds.

NACHOMAN: how descriptive

without him even knowing,

CHWOKA: Whoops! Kinda forgot I'm dead, there.

leaving only a pair of headphones.

CHWOKA: are they kingdom hearts headphones
NACHOMAN: this gas can destroy the fabric of space and time, but can't touch a cheap pair of headphones?

Fire erupts around the skeleton.

CHWOKA: but we jUST SAID ONLY HEADPHONES WERE LEFT BEHIND
NACHOMAN: maybe his skeleton was made of headphones

Cut back.}

CHWOKA: Cut forward!

CHWOKA: ...I got nothing. Brooksie?
BROOKSIE: maybe he should cut back on writing
BROOKSIE: B) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
NACHOMAN: see, you're getting it now!
CHWOKA: HOLY SHITTTTT

  • Chwoka falls back out of his chair
  • Chwoka breaks every bone in his body
  • Brooksie leaving only a pair of headphones
  • Chwoka every bone was a headphone

NACHOMAN: why do they call it a boner when it has no bones

  • NachoMan makes a facebook group

CHAOS: I even lost out to the gas.

CHWOKA: I lost... myself

CHWOKA: CRAWWWWLING INNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN
NACHOMAN: NOID: LOSE YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT
CHWOKA: also, {poot}

CHWOKA: CHWOKA 4 SKUB 2

But of course,

CHWOKA: OH HO HO HO HO BUT OF COURCE, FNAW FNAW FNAW

my heritage gives me a few mulligans

CHWOKA: wait his heritage is golfing?
NACHOMAN: that makes a lot of sense

in regards to

CHWOKA: SEND MY REGARSDS TO MAIN STREET

temporal deaths and paradoxes.

NACHOMAN: the author: let's see how confusing I can make this story!

But everyone else, I don't even know if they COULD'VE survived it.

CHWOKA: NOXIGAR: i'm so awesome

CHWOKA: CHAOS: no, I'M so awesome!!!
BROOKSIE: classic wuw self-writing

NACHOMAN: quiet kids, you can BOTH be the most awesome!

Noxigar potentially killed everyone else in that universe.

CHWOKA: is potentially even a word?

NACHOMAN: save for a few mary sues

(Ed. Note: Firefox spellcheck says it is.)

{Cut back to Noxigar,

CHWOKA: admiring his own reflection.}
NACHOMAN: masturbating furiously to the kingdom hearts box art}

with a sketchpad of his own

CHWOKA: God, what is WITH all thesE GOD DAMN SKETCHPADS

CHWOKA: i never see this many in real life
NACHOMAN: my room is nothing but sketchpads
CHWOKA: My room IS a sketchpad.
BROOKSIE: the sketchpads are made of headphones
CHWOKA: Just like in Myst!

CHWOKA: And we're full circle.

inside The Darkness.}

BROOKSIE: third gens: Can I change my name to The Darkness

CHWOKA: I cast Magic Missile at the bleeugahghggggh

NACHOMAN: xDarknesS_the_curseWolf_blackxHeartx666xxxXx

NOXIGAR: Namine...

CHWOKA: My dear, dear Namine...

NACHOMAN: nah, it's mine
CHWOKA: I pasted your head on this photograph of a naked woman

BROOKSIE: WHITENOXIGAR: "do you know what I mean"

I did not wish to bring disaster on your world.

CHWOKA: Sadly, I had to!

CHWOKA: I literally had NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER
BROOKSIE: "but I really wanted to write something for wikihood!"
NACHOMAN: I just wanted to get back at you for incinerating that sketchpad!
CHWOKA: nachoman: It was an accident okay?
CHWOKA: It is so easy to accidentally throw a universe inside an incinerator
CHWOKA: there are so many incinwerators in that universe
CHWOKA: where there are usually mailboxes and refridgerators, there are icninerators instead

CHWOKA: You trip on a shoelace, WHOOPS you incinerated whatever was in your hand, in some cases a universe

I had to evacuate you and DiZ to a different universe,

CHWOKA: diZ nUtS

NACHOMAN: not DiZ!!!

BROOKSIE: is that pronounced "dizzy" I'm sorry I don't speak deviantart

as well as other worthies.

CHWOKA: dirty worthies

Not one reeking of fail.

* Chwoka kills himself
NACHOMAN: I believe "failure" is the word you're looking for. It's an easy mistake to make for someone who's new to the english language!

I will make up for this eviction,

CHWOKA: or shoudl we say...

CHWOKA: make out
NACHOMAN: * Brooksie snicker snicker

  • Chwoka furious kissing of namine's photograph
NACHOMAN: BROOKSIE: whoops I thought he said erection nevermind

and we shall unite together like old times.

CHWOKA: TO DRIVE OUR ENEMIES BEFORE US

CHWOKA: WE WILL BE FEARED ALL OVER
CHWOKA: (but especially me)
BROOKSIE: NACHOMAN: This would be way hotter if they were both anthromorphic foxes
CHWOKA: (because i'm so awesome i get the girl and no mean bullies can even touch me)
NACHOMAN: ::I

CHWOKA: (i'm such a badass)

{He turns to a first page.

CHWOKA: One fo many in this book!
NACHOMAN: "An Introduction to Drawing Cocks"

The page contains a blue heart-shaped crystal,

CHWOKA: what about the GREEN MORNINGSTAR

CHWOKA: WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT HUH
NACHOMAN: is it related at all to the GREEN MORNI- FUCK

CHWOKA: ha

with Chaos, Joseph, Namine, DiZ, Homsar, and Noxigar

NACHOMAN: one of these things is not like the other
CHWOKA: dAaAaAaAaA, make me an anime!

himself near it.}

NACHOMAN: "Remember when we all took a photo by the blue heart-shaped crystal? Good times."
BROOKSIE: METAPHOR ALERT

NOXIGAR: Now I must find the other worlds of which to destroy.

CHWOKA: Can I speak directly to Noxigar for a second?

NACHOMAN: go ahead
CHWOKA: Noxigar, stop making your sentences so god damn ornate. You have so many clauses and conjunctions in there it's downright claustrophobic; concepts and nouns are never allowed room to breathe and become whole. It makes your sentences a confusing mess.
CHWOKA: "Of which to?" That's three conjcutions in a row you imbecile!
CHWOKA: There has to be another way to phrase that, one that's way mroe direct!
BROOKSIE: Chwoka: look at how good of a writer I am! Look at my semicolons and bow before me
CHWOKA: "Now, I must find other worlds to destory." Was that so hard? Really?

CHWOKA: brooksie: actually that was a full colon

That crappy Cartoon Network channel

NACHOMAN: This will teach them to stop playing Total Drama Island, the fools!

of which was

CHWOKA: OF WHICH WAS

CHWOKA: COME ON
NACHOMAN: chwoka do you need to lie down for a while
CHWOKA: NO!
CHWOKA: FUCK YOU DAD!
BROOKSIE: BUT WHO OF WHICH WAS PHONE
CHWOKA: I'LL MURDER YOUR SOUL BROOKSIE

CHWOKA: AAAAAAAAA

never good will be one example of paving the way for better worlds.

CHWOKA: OF WHICH WAS NEVER GOOD WILL BE ONE EXAMPLE OF

CHWOKA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
NACHOMAN: Do you think English is Noxigar's first or second language?

NACHOMAN: Because with every sentence I start to doubt it more and more

Universes I have found worthy, like Homestar Runner's,

NACHOMAN: "I spared the Universe of Teenage Boys who Constantly get Head from Naruto Characters, for obvious reasons"
CHWOKA: EVERY 10 LINES

have been subdued by my Nobodies

CHWOKA: This setence is okay so far.

CHWOKA: Wait for it...

NACHOMAN: anyone who has the misfortune of being associated with Noxigar deserves no formal name

in terms of government while the universe retains its quality autonomy.

CHWOKA: have found have been subdued in terms of while the retains its

CHWOKA: conjunction junction over here
CHWOKA: what's his malfunction

CHWOKA: let's move on

{Noxigar proceeds to the Cartoon Network channel building.

CHWOKA: Just the one broadcasting station.

NACHOMAN: "Uh, excuse me, would you mind shutting down your universe, if that's okay..."

NACHOMAN: "Security!"

He throws a vial of gas

NACHOMAN: ~poot~

NACHOMAN: score one for the boys back home
CHWOKA: CHWOKA 4 SKUB 2 NACHOMAN 1

CHWOKA: so was this gas made from the venom

which disintegrates the studio,

CHWOKA: yup

making all of the television programs vulnerable.}

CHWOKA: what

CHWOKA: what kind of logic is this
CHWOKA: i'm pretty sure this doesn't even count as logic
NACHOMAN: the building was just kind of holding the entities of the shows or fuck if I know

CHWOKA: NachoMan: oh kinda like my warehouse of souls

NOXIGAR: Now for Phase 2 of my plan...

BROOKSIE: "get them to bring powerpuff girls back!"
NACHOMAN: "Phase 2: Make Noxigar Broadcasting Co"

{Noxigar warps to each television show,

CHWOKA: guys just a second
  • Chwoka warps into the little carttons that run before movies
  • Chwoka grabs some singing popcorn

CHWOKA: okay i'm back

BROOKSIE: "giving his fanscripts to each, to show them what real writing looks like"

effortlessly killing off characters

CHWOKA: YEAH I'M SO COOL

CHWOKA: aspergers
NACHOMAN: TAKE THAT ADULT SWIM

NACHOMAN: WHO'S OLD ENOUGH TO WATCH WHO NOW??

and universes from varying Cartoon Network universes

CHWOKA: Does he even think before he types?

NACHOMAN: Does he even think?
BROOKSIE: Does he?
NACHOMAN: D?
CHWOKA: ?

NACHOMAN:

with various toxins and affliction-based abilities.

CHWOKA: Affflictioned-based abilities? He is so clearly stealign from RPGs.
NACHOMAN: noxigar gave everyone on Scooby Doo HIV

He returns to

CHWOKA: his house and stays up all night playing video games until his dad tells him o go to bed and then he's all like NO FUCK YOU DAD}

what appears to be a floating castle in an unknown galaxy.}

CHWOKA: but it's not really
NACHOMAN: you can totally see the string

NOXIGAR: There, one multiverse destroyed so many superior universes replace it.

{Skub joins, presumably.}

CHWOKA: Where?
CHWOKA: Skub: oh don't worry, we have just as much of an idea abotu wehat's going on as you do
NACHOMAN: Noxigar: Now I just have to figure out how to make universes. Shouldn't be THAT hard, right?
SKUB: Noxigar: let's start by making myself the godhead
CHWOKA: NachoMan: and on the third day noxigar said "let there be sperg!"

SKUB: and he said it was good but pointed out flaws with the women's bodies

Now to dominate the Super Smash Brothers multiverse...

SKUB: hey GUYS I PLAY SMASH BORTHERS

NACHOMAN: fdkljfsdkldj
CHWOKA: NOXIGAR: LET ME LIST TO YOU MY FAVORITE AND LEAST FAVORITE MEDIA
CHWOKA: NOXIGAR: I HATE CARTOON NETWORK BUT I LIKE KINGDOM HEARTS
NACHOMAN: YEAH HOW WILL MY BROTHER BE ABLE TO BEAT ME AS LUCARIO WHEN THERE IS NO LUCARIO!!!
SKUB: STARTING WITH CHAPTER ONE: mmmanga

SKUB: i wish i could still see peach's undies :(((((((

and access a gateway to other universes therethrough.

CHWOKA: THERETHROUGH?

CHWOKA: THERETHROUGH
CHWOKA: oh that is IT i am OUT OF HERE
{Chwoka leaves, presumably???? How did I get these logs if I did??? CAN YOU SOLVE THE MYSTERY??? speculation on the talk page.}
SKUB: god bless him
NACHOMAN: he died for his country
SKUB: let's hold a chwoka funeral right now
BROOKSIE: thank god, now we can get to some comedy
SKUB: EH-HEM, DEARLY BELOVED
SKUB: WE GATHER HERE TODAY TO BLESS THE SOUL OF WILL (Ed. note: Don't say my real last name, you little bitch), MAY HE BE BURIED AGAINST HIS WILL

  • Brooksie pungasm

{Cut to the giant heart-shaped crystal,

NACHOMAN: I've been locked inside your heart shaped crystal

SKUB: oh for fucks sake, i think this is from kingdom hearts because i played that game and i think i remember this
SKUB: dammit
NACHOMAN: did I really just make that joke
SKUB: why am i shaking in rage

BROOKSIE: maybe the fact that it's heart-shaped means something. Stay tuned for information regarding this deep metaphor

floating in the middle of the field,in the Homestar Runner universe.

{Chwoka joins, presumably}

SKUB: oh chwoka you just got to the REALLY good part
NACHOMAN: so um
CHWOKA: DID YOU REALLY FUCKING NEED A COMMA THERE YOU ASSHAT
NACHOMAN: was this written for the HRFWiki?
SKUB: actually i dont think it was
CHWOKA: no but they like to keep continuity
BROOKSIE: this will be the worst fanstuff ever
NACHOMAN: gotcha

CHWOKA: it hasn't been written for the hrfwiki in several seasons

Joseph's eyes open,

CHWOKA: COMMENCE THE OPENING OF EYES TO MAKE BLINK
SKUB: and he notices the startlingly hairy scrotum descending heretoforthlysuch onto his forehead

the crystal shakes violently, and explodes.

CHWOKA: what the FUCK is with all THESE COMMASA

NACHOMAN: at least we still have the GREEN MORNINGSTAR
SKUB: so who's joseph
SKUB: his name isn't an abstract concept so i'm assuming he isn't a demihemigod
CHWOKA: and more importantly why is he lying down in the mdidle fo the field
SKUB: whatstoforthlyright
CHWOKA: why wasn't he mentioned in the description of the place
CHWOKA: skub i will murder your grandchildren

SKUB: jokes on you, i've been sterile for YEARS

Everyone contained inside is freed and bits of crystal lie everywhere.}

NACHOMAN: Skub: I neutered myself with a bottle rocket

NACHOMAN: wait there are people inside the crystal um
NACHOMAN: I'm a little lost!
SKUB: the police put the crystal there to make the black man look back
SKUB: bad

CHWOKA: skub: don't look back!

JOSEPH: Oh, my head.

CHWOKA: OH, MY CHAIR!

NACHOMAN: Oh, the humanity
CHWOKA: head is where the heart is
BROOKSIE: what great depth of emotion
SKUB: ouch, my headpartbrainslysuch got hurt by this crystalforthmostshrapnelmake
CHWOKA: brb
SKUB: i repeat, ouch
CHWOKA: guys io have to go again
CHWOKA: fuckin' work
CHWOKA: who wants to take over feeding duties
CHWOKA: ##mft3k too
SKUB: nnah
BROOKSIE: if i had ops id just kick everyone so
NACHOMAN: not it
KAWAIIMELON: sweet o
CHWOKA: kawaiimelon you are to feed wikihood/eps/44
CHWOKA: no riffs okay
KAWAIIMELON: yep
KAWAIIMELON: no riffs i got it
SKUB: exactly
CHWOKA: stop at every clause like i've been doing
CHWOKA: GO
BetterFeeder: okay let me get there
BROOKSIE: (you can riff now that chwoka's gone)
BROOKSIE: oh whoops
SKUB: (no you can't ::O)
 CHWOKA: not gone yet
NACHOMAN: guys chwoka's gone let's talk about sex and stuff
BetterFeeder: okay its at joseph: ow my head right
CHWOKA: yes
NACHOMAN: so guys are you a top or a bottom
BetterFeeder: alright
BROOKSIE: can we finish this live riff on skype
CHWOKA: no then i'd have to transcribe it

BROOKSIE: i want to show you guys where my tattoos are

What happened?

SKUB: where is that large automobile?
NACHOMAN: I don't know either

NAMINE: ...he's done it.

SKUB: JOSEPH: it really felt great when i did it with my penis

BROOKSIE: HE BROKE THE FRIENDSHIP CRYSTAL
BetterFeeder: (god that's a clause right? i think i kinda get it)
SKUB: (yep basically)

NACHOMAN: if you know what I mean

He's destroyed the Kingdom Hearts universe and evacuated us to a "better one" as he claims it.

HOMSAR: [Homsar's Language]My universe is intact?

SKUB: ugh what the- what is that format mess

BROOKSIE: ffffffffffffffffffff
SKUB: that's
SKUB: ugh
SKUB: oh also homsar sucks
NACHOMAN: Noxigar: even with characters who are easy to write for, I can't keep them in character!
BROOKSIE: homsar is literally the easiest character to write for
NACHOMAN: Seriously all he has to is say random shit and he's like "NO
SKUB: aAaAaAaA, mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS
NACHOMAN: IT WOULDN'T FIT IN MY AMAZING PLOT"

BROOKSIE: DaAaAaAaAa, Chocolate Suitcase {Homsar blows up a hospital}

Surely something is awry here aside from all these shards being here.[/Homsar's Language]

SKUB: bracket end bracket
SKUB: also awry are you fucking with me

JOSEPH: This doesn't make any sense.

SKUB: adfh
NACHOMAN: damn right

We were watching it fine.

SKUB: we were watchin it fine booty

SKUB: i was going to make a joke about speeding tickets but i couldn't make it work

  • NachoMan ahem
  • NachoMan hey BetterFeeder

BetterFeeder: (what)
NACHOMAN: oh you're waiting for brooksie aka slow fag
SKUB: yes we are
NACHOMAN: godamn
BROOKSIE: i was waiting on betterfeeder's bitch ass
NACHOMAN: nigga please

SKUB: youre a bitch brooks >:I

How did he even get control

SKUB: good question

NACHOMAN: maybe he used the GREEN MORNINGSTAR
BetterFeeder: (brb)
SKUB: fuckin, nachoman

  • Skub is now known as Shwoka

SHWOKA: hold on i gotta get really angry at grammar!!

BetterFeeder: ((glenn back)

of the books like that?

NACHOMAN: oh my god we're not even halfway through
  • NachoMan weeps softly
SHWOKA: a library card

I thought only you could do that.

NACHOMAN: me?

SHWOKA: ME?

SHWOKA: mmmmMMMEEE?

NAMINE: Someone must've carelessly found a sketchbook of mine and thrown it in an incinerator.

SHWOKA: and by my calculations, it was on somebody's front porch
NACHOMAN: incinerators all up in this bitch

Noxigar would've eventually

NACHOMAN: written a stupid fan fiction

SHWOKA: gotten all the ladies in the world to go down on him but he's a nice guy so he would just hold their hand

SHWOKA: he's so much nicer than those jocks, WHY DO THEY WANT JOCKS

found out and find revenge.

SHWOKA: REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED WITH VENOM

NACHOMAN: would've eventually find revenge
NACHOMAN: good work!
BROOKSIE: would've eventually find revent
BROOKSIE: god dammit

NACHOMAN: :(

This revenge of his seems to be

NACHOMAN: really complicated and retarded
SHWOKA: really cool and badass

getting out of hand.

NACHOMAN: I was fine with it until he destroyed the cartoon network universe!

SHWOKA: wait what when did he destroy cartoon network

BetterFeeder: (you weren't here)

I can almost feel less universes existing.

SHWOKA: well that's a shitty superpower
NACHOMAN: Universe-Existence-Sensing Man!

DiZ: Revenge?

NACHOMAN: I have a feeling a flashback is coming and I don't like it one bit

SHWOKA: okay so i'm going to try and make sense of this thing: noxigar, praise be to him every day, doesn't like cartoon network and shit so he is, in his glory, going into these universes and killing them all? is that- is that what's going on?
NACHOMAN: pretty much

SHWOKA: wow i hate being spot on

Isn't that a feeling?

SHWOKA: like that hu-mon thing called...... love....?

NACHOMAN: actually you could say it's...
NACHOMAN: MORE THAN A FEELING
NACHOMAN: (MORE THAN A FEELING)
BROOKSIE: DiZ not know how to love
NACHOMAN: WHEN I HEAR THAT OLD SONG PLAY
NACHOMAN: etc

SHWOKA: WHEN I SEE NAMINE WALK AWAY or whatever

Nobodies can't feel

SHWOKA: that's racist
NACHOMAN: but it all works out because revenge isn't a feeling you tard

if I recall...

{Cut back to Noxigar}

NACHOMAN: please god no

SHWOKA: who is having sex with so many topless babes

SHWOKA: saw her boobies and the rest

NOXIGAR: I love it when

SHWOKA: a plan comes together

NACHOMAN: you touch me like that
SHWOKA: or that
NACHOMAN: brooks you're not even trying :(

BROOKSIE: yes i am you guys just steal my jokes/im not funny today

people just arrogantly judge Nobodies by some

SHWOKA: when just arrogantly judge

SHWOKA: fuck's sake kid you're not even trying

BROOKSIE: is noxigar some old racist that learns that nobodies are people too at the end

encyclopedia of failure.

SHWOKA: the wuw

NACHOMAN: sooooo
NACHOMAN: did anyone else understand that sentence?

SHWOKA: yeah no i didn't

Now, which universe to subdue?

SHWOKA: the jock universe, of course

NACHOMAN: the universe of awful writers

BROOKSIE: he already subdued that one and gained its power

How about Halloween Town?

SHWOKA: oh WOW

NACHOMAN: what
SHWOKA: the nightmare before christmas REALLY
SHWOKA: W O W
NACHOMAN: HEY NOXIGAR WANT TO GO TO A STRIP CLUB WITH THE GUYS

NACHOMAN: SORRY I'M BUSY WRITING FAN FICTION WHERE I GET TO MEET JACK SKELINGTON

Surely their inhabitants will

SHWOKA: adore me

NACHOMAN: want to make love to me

  • Shwoka is now known as Skub

SKUB: damn i hate that name

SKUB: shhhhwoka

be easy to manipulate.

SKUB: mmmmmmm

BROOKSIE: by which i mean blow up somehow with gas
NACHOMAN: comment about noxigar's stop motion fetish:

SKUB: hopefully they're all wooden so i can MELT them with VENOM

It is a good Tim Burton movie,

BROOKSIE: as if there's any other kind!!

SKUB: "but aren't they all!!" /me jism
BROOKSIE: o/
NACHOMAN: "I'm kidding though, all of them are g--"
NACHOMAN: ;(
SKUB: \o
SKUB: FUCK YOU NACHOMAN
BROOKSIE: o
BROOKSIE: |
BROOKSIE: |-o

BROOKSIE: | |

of which is rare nowadays.

* NachoMan goodbyeforever

SKUB: BUT- BUT AREN'T THEY ALL
NACHOMAN: of which is rare nowadays
SKUB: oh right of which is rare

NACHOMAN: thank goodness chwoka's not here

{Noxigar creates a

SKUB: GREEN MROINGSTAR

BROOKSIE: IMPENETRABLE FORCEFIELD THAT NOTHING CAN BEAT NO MATTER WHAT

SKUB: my pary are with the father

corridor of darkness and proceeds to find the Tim Burton universe,

BROOKSIE: "Hi, I'm Noxigar, welcome to my garage. This is my band, Corridor of Darkness."
SKUB: follow helena bonham carter's giant head

on the Halloween Town world.}

SKUB: to find the tim burton universe, on the halloween town world

SKUB: what the FUCK
NACHOMAN: so, universes are contained in worlds--

NACHOMAN: dammit skub

{Without a cutback, as Noxigar lands,

SKUB: into a mountain of warm soft titty

NACHOMAN: without a cutback?

BROOKSIE: the gymnastic judges of peril give him perfect 10s

the conversation here continues.}

NACHOMAN: but wasn't he just talking to himself

JOSEPH: So, he's just going to go through all the pointless universes and

SKUB: rock all the women's bods

SKUB: forever

NACHOMAN: have sex with as many anime women as he can

cut them out of

SKUB: his master plan for the fourth reich
SKUB: noxigar is the boys from brazil

the fabric of existence?

{Homestar can be seen

SKUB: so we don't break the rules

BROOKSIE: please dont give homestar any dialogue for the love of god
NACHOMAN: in the background while the rest of the action continues}
SKUB: the action never STONPS
CHWOKA: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand you're still going strong!

CHWOKA: where are we

touring some Dusks to the

NACHOMAN: oh shit he's back

NACHOMAN: everyone hide

Stick.}

CHWOKA: did you seriosuly pause at "the"

SKUB: what's a dusk exactly
CHWOKA: it's liek a duck
CHWOKA: ]but it's really tired

NACHOMAN: Skub: I still don't know what a Nobody is

HOMESTAR: This hewe

BROOKSIE: if i were you i would stick that back with the last part

SKUB: FUCK HE'S TALKING
BROOKSIE: god dammit no
CHWOKA: CAN OF GAS
SKUB: "this is weawwy how you make it wook wike i tawk funny!!"

SKUB: "howy cwap homestawwwww"

is a pwotected landmawk with

CHWOKA: wwhat the glub is this shit
SKUB: suwpwisingwy cwean bathwooms or whatever the fucking line is

suwpwisingly clean westwooms.

SKUB: FUCK I CALLED IT
NACHOMAN: if you add a bunch of w's, it counts as in character dammit

{Namine looks at Homestar oddly

CHWOKA: Wwhy the wuck awe you tawking wike that

SKUB: "he seems like he has a few chromosomes i could borrow"
NACHOMAN: attractive body

BROOKSIE: "wondering why he has such a hilarious speech impediment"

as he isn't attacking or being attacked by the Dusks.}

CHWOKA: what'sa dusk

SKUB: quask
SKUB: quask quask
CHWOKA: can anybvody here catch me up on what's happening here
BROOKSIE: we genuinely have no idea
CHWOKA: maybe we shouldn't have started at the 44th episode
NACHOMAN: noxigar's is going to destroy the tim burton universe and

NACHOMAN: that's it

NAMINE: This universe didn't get destroyed,

SKUB: IT GOT GASSED

SKUB: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHUHGH
SKUB: on second thought that didn't warrant a YEAAAAH

  • Brooksie ba dum tish
SKUB: YEAH RETRACTED

but it appears someone has been influencing it.

CHWOKA: "somebody with..."

CHWOKA: "devilishly handsoem looks."
NACHOMAN: and a ten foot penis
CHWOKA: "they make me want to throw myself onto their sculpted body!"
CHWOKA: "oh noxigar take me now!"

SKUB: ohhh mr. darcygar

Probably to keep us in place

CHWOKA: noxigar opresses the women

CHWOKA: ]keeps them in his place
CHWOKA: he's got a domination fetish
SKUB: more like IMPRESSES

SKUB: bam

so we don't drift off

CHWOKA: why doesn't he just tie them down

CHWOKA: the sick fuck
NACHOMAN: too late!

  • NachoMan snores

BROOKSIE: NACHOMAN: i will type slightly faster than brooks every time
SKUB: man i'm tired
SKUB: of this
SKUB: fic

BROOKSIE: are we really not even halfway done

to our otherwise-Oxygen-deprived deaths.

SKUB: th

MFT3KFeeder: (((a-yup)))
SKUB: you don't need to do that
SKUB: ever
CHWOKA: hyphens hyphens hyphens!
CHWOKA: we're having a hyphen BLOWOUT
CHWOKA: i'm slashing prices left and right!
CHWOKA: i'm CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY
CHWOKA: i'll murder your family if you don't buy these hyphens!
CHWOKA: look at this hyphen!
CHWOKA: no!
CHWOKA: look at this one!
SKUB: DON'T LOOK AT MY HYPHENS!!!

BROOKSIE: chwoka shut up we have to get through this mountain of terrible

That, or because he likes this universe.

BROOKSIE: im on the edge of my seat i cant wait any longer

CHWOKA: Now you're assuming that somebody is a he.

  • NachoMan snores
CHWOKA: HETERONORMATIVE MUCH GODDDD

JOSEPH: None of this even makes sense.

CHWOKA: A-yup.

NACHOMAN: TELL ME ABOUT IT
SKUB: mmph

BROOKSIE: hasnt he said that verbatim like 3 times before

It's like we can't even fight back.

CHWOKA: oh my god he knows exactly how i feel

CHWOKA: i'm not even making a DENT in this episode
SKUB: it's like noxigar is so powerful that nobody can hurt him because he's a super SAIYAN LEVEL FIVE
CHWOKA: we're like 1/4th through
CHWOKA: Skub: LEVEL 12
CHWOKA: LEVEL 34
CHWOKA: LEVEL BLAGHFWIS
SKUB: LEVEL BREAKFAST
BROOKSIE: can we pass on this entire episode and just riff doggie emails or something less sickening
NACHOMAN: can we riff something
NACHOMAN: shorter
CHWOKA: brooksie: that's not how we operate 'round these parts
NACHOMAN: because god damn

BROOKSIE: ^^^^^

{Homestar is only five

CHWOKA: -and-a-half yeaws old!

SKUB: dawww
NACHOMAN: I don't mind something not making sense but
BROOKSIE: ;3
NACHOMAN: GOD DAMN this is long
SKUB: chwoka: STOP MAKING sense
CHWOKA: Chwoka: i got a girlfriend that's better than that and
CHWOKA: okay guys let's go riff a different thing
NACHOMAN: yay
CHWOKA: remember how we used to paly bad fanstuff theater in #wuw?
CHWOKA: let's do that now
CHWOKA: BREAK

SKUB: what

CHWOKA: -----

BROOKSIE: but guys
BROOKSIE: homestar is only five what
NACHOMAN: SO, ANY CLOSING COMMENTS GUYS
SKUB: this sucks and noxigar can eat lead
CHWOKA: http://wuw.clamburger.org/wiki/Chaos_Emails.exe hey look more wikihood
BROOKSIE: i liked the part where noxigar showed character development and didnt just annihilate everything

  • NachoMan shoots a middle finger up so high it knocks out a satellite which falls on noxigar and kills him and he dies

CHWOKA: hold on just a second you guys

  • Chwoka shoves a universe into a gas chamber where the gas is venom

CHWOKA: what were we talkign about again
CHWOKA: http://wuw.clamburger.org/wiki/Angry_Dragon%27s_Angry_Dungeon_Adventure how about this
CHWOKA: (just clicking "random page" is yielding results
NACHOMAN: KAWAIIMELON: http://wuw.clamburger.org/wiki/The_gang_in_the_grave
CHWOKA: http://wuw.clamburger.org/wiki/JCMovies guys let's do this
BROOKSIE: but jicem is actually a competent writer sometimes
CHWOKA: oh hey let's do the gang in the grave howabout
CHWOKA: all in favor say aye
CHWOKA: aye
NACHOMAN: eye
SKUB: nay
SKUB: i'm out
CHWOKA: skub: you're the best though
NACHOMAN: daw
SKUB: no
SKUB: give others the time to shine
BROOKSIE: skub youre the star g_g
SKUB: i shall pass down my sword
SKUB: to
SKUB: brooks
CHWOKA: skub we did that before you even joined
BROOKSIE: no
BROOKSIE: nooooooooooo
NACHOMAN: skub no ;_;
CHWOKA: okay brooksie
CHWOKA: you've got a pretty hefty obligation now
CHWOKA: to be the best riffer
BROOKSIE: but
BROOKSIE: no g_g
CHWOKA: BROOKSIE GOD DAMN IT

  • Chwoka slaps brooksie with his pimp hand

CHWOKA: WE ARE GOING TO GO IN THERE
CHWOKA: AND WE ARE GOING TO FUCKIGN MURDER THE GANG IN THE GRAVE
CHWOKA: ANGAIN
CHWOKA: since they're already dead you know
BROOKSIE: but ive never read it g_g
CHWOKA: I HAVEN'T EITHER
CHWOKA: NOBODY HAS
BROOKSIE: its like jaro emails lol
MFT3KFeeder: woah chwoka you need to calm down a little bit
CHWOKA: NO FUCK YOU DAD
CHWOKA: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
NACHOMAN: Brooksie: I will rape you
MFT3KFeeder: i think you need to take a little time out
BROOKSIE: NachoMan: 3
 CHWOKA: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGE
NACHOMAN: i'm leaving ;_;
NACHOMAN: forever ;_;
CHWOKA: YOU'RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART!!!
BROOKSIE: but i cant riff alone (or with chwoka) g_g
CHWOKA: you got to
CHWOKA: you gotta BELIEVE in
CHWOKA: in yourself brooksie
CHWOKA: i wrote this little sogn about it
CHWOKA: but i'm not ghoing to sign it
CHWOKA: i'm going to let Jicem sing it.
CHWOKA: Jicem!
JCM: wait what am i singing
CHWOKA: sing away abotu hwo you should be the best you can be all the time even if you dion't think you can
JCM: YOU GOTTA BELIEVE
JCM: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
CHWOKA: see brooksie isn't it inspirational
BROOKSIE: lets get down to business
BROOKSIE: to defeat
CHWOKA: thanks jicem

  • Jicem was kicked by Chwoka (Jicem)

MFT3KFeeder: THE GANG IN THE GRAVE
MFT3KFeeder: ((MAIN PAGE))
BROOKSIE: jicem no g_g
NACHOMAN: i'm bored time to watch mst3k
MFT3KFeeder: Here, heaven isn't heavenly
CHWOKA: Heaven... heaven is a place...
CHWOKA: a place where nothing
CHWOKA: nothing ever happennssssssss...
CHWOKA: ...
CHWOKA: referencing talkign heads just isn't the same without skub asroudn to call me on it
CHWOKA: ;_;
CHWOKA: nachoman?
NACHOMAN: nah
NACHOMAN: not up for it right now
CHWOKA: you know what screw it this is falling apart
BROOKSIE: we can try it later :I
CHWOKA: let's just call it a day and go back to wikihood tommorow
CHWOKA: same bat-time
BROOKSIE: or we can riff it ###mft3k
CHWOKA: same bat-palace
CHWOKA: YES

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