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LAWYERS!!!

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The judicial system is clearly the best system.

The American legal system is a great and wonderful thing. it's set up in such a way to be failsafe, and always provide proper justice! Well, unless the prosecution or defense aren't very skilled. Or if the judge is corrupted. Or if the high judge is maddeningly corrupt. Or if the thing being squabbled over is stupid. But other than that, it always works like a well-oiled machine! The defense defends, the prosecutor prosecutes, the detectives detect, the judge judges, the jury...juries? Anyway, it's all so simple that even the lamest comedians can mock it! So that's where we come in, I guess.

Characters

  • Dinoshaur - The man behind the machine.

COURT OFFICALS

  • Judge - He's a judge. Apparently the only one.

DETECTIVES

  • Chwoka - Just to say N'yah to all you Objection! fans.
  • Zippy - He enjoys investigating to an extreme.
  • Cam - A Brazilian detective with a sense of humor.

PROSECUTORS

  • Stan - Very suave and charismatic.
  • Raiku - He likes yo-yoes.
  • Darlon - Takes sadistic pleasure in seeing others lose a case.

DEFENSE

  • Mook - Always gets results. His logic is unmatched by all around him. Has never lost a case.
  • Ali Barren - A Rookie Defense attorney who was a soldier in Iraq.
  • Badstar
  • TheDenzel

JURY

Pretty much anybody who wants to be in the Jury and isn't already playing in a different role.

WITNESSES (non-playable)

  • CEO of Lionhair Ltd.
  • CEO of Dogeared Productions

Cases

CASE 1: MOVING MOVING PICTURES

A motion picture studio claims that its raw film is being stolen (and probably destroyed) after the final cut had been made.
DEFENDANT:
DETECTIVE: Chwoka
PROSECUTOR: Raiku
DEFENSE: Badstar Strunner TheDenzel
JURY:

  • Skully
  • Eric
  • Kyubii

QUARTERBACK: Ben Rothlessburger

INVESTIGATION: PROSECUTION
INVESTIGATION: DEFENSE INVESTIGATION: DEFENSE
court will be in session when investigations are over


CASE 2: MURDER, HE COMMITTED

A famous female author has been totally stabbed to death, immediately after writing a book in which a female author gets stabbed to death. Is this life imitating art or something more sinister? Probably both, they're not contradictory.

DEFENDANT: Micheal "Cornflakes" Banner
DETECTIVE: Zippy
PROSECUTOR:
SANDWICH: Ham and Turkey with Mayo and Cheese
DEFENSE: Badstar Strunner
JURY:

INVESTIGATION: PROSECUTION
INVESTIGATION: DEFENSE
court will be in session when investigations are over