LAWYERS!!!/1id

CHWOKA: {in a clipped tone} Badstar!

BADSTAR: What does clipped to- oh, forget it. Yeah?

CHWOKA: You're the defense — what should we investigate?

BADSTAR: Well, we should probably check out the film storage room...

{Cut: film storage room. Racks upon racks of celluloid film reels line the entire wall, and many seem to be missing}

BADSTAR: Looks like the claims are true... slightly... or something. Now, we should probably look through these reels and look for anything out of place, strange, or just plain {bleep}ed up.

{Pan up: Several rows of film, to reveal a film reel-sized ferris wheel, fully operational, playing circus music}

BADSTAR: Ooooh... pretty.

{Pan up further: A wheel of cheese}

BADSTAR: ... YOINK {Grabs cheese}

{Pan up even further: Willy on Wheels}

CHWOKA: Now that's just silly.

{Pan back down: Badstar and Chwoka}

CHWOKA: Well, it definitely appears that reels have been stolen, indicated by the gaps.

BADSTAR: {Eating cheese wheel. Muffled} And by the looks of it, they've been replaced by puns!

CHWOKA: But what devious mind could have done such a thing?

BADSTAR: {Burp} We should check with the CEO!

CHWOKA: We can't — right now, I'm talking to the CEO with the prosecution

BADSTAR: What-...but-...HOW!?

CHWOKA; Well, it's a big thing with wings, but that's not important right now. What else do you want to do?

BADSTAR: Hmmm... well, lets think. Do we know of any rivals of the studio?

CHWOKA: Their only rival is Cut/Print Pictures.

BADSTAR: Any reason for the rivalry?

CHWOKA: The CEO of Lionhair wouldn't let the CEO of Cut/Print in his treehouse as children.

BADSTAR: Now THERES a man with a troubled past. TO CUT/PRINT STUDIOS, ROBIN!

{Batman music. A transition scene appears with Chwoka and Badstar's head spinning foward, then spinning backwards to show... Badstar and Chwoka in the exact same place, and Chwoka looking at Badstar with a puzzled and creeped out expression.}

CHWOKA: ...how about we just take a cab?

{Cut: Cut/Print Studios waiting room. It is night time; Badstar and Chwoka look incredibly exhausted.}

CHWOKA: You know, Badstar...

BADSTAR: What?

CHWOKA: ...I don't think the CEO has any intention of seeing us.

BADSTAR: ...Maybe we should've told him first. ...Well, anyway... {Gets up and charges towards the door, then quickly kicks it open}

CHWOKA: Th-that's the bathroom, Badstar.

BADSTAR: ...Oh. ... {Walks into a stall. A zip is heard, then... well, yeah. Badstar walks out a few seconds later}

CHWOKA: Badstar, maybe we should give up the —.

BADSTAR: Give up the —? Never!

CHWOKA: Fine, then, let's give up the —

{Secretary Buxomly peeks out from behind the counter.}

BUXOMLY: Badstar and Chwoka, to the CEO's office, please.

{Secretary Buxomly disappears in a puff of smoke.}

BADSTAR: ...Is it just me or did a hot secreatary appear out of nowhere, somehow know our names, and- y'know what, nevermind. I stopped bringing logic into my cases a long time ago.

CHWOKA: Left your suitcase at Sea World again, eh?

{Chwoka walks into the CEO's office.}

BADSTAR: I've never even been to sea wo- ...I gotta quit doing this. {Walks in} Excuse me sir, but WE WANT ANSWERS AND WE WANT THEM NOW

CEO: Yes, November Sixth, behind Pete's House, No, Gone With the Wind, animal crackers, they're out of business, pretty large. That enough?

BADSTAR: Maybe I should be a little more specifi-

CHWOKA: {Heavily annoyed} Yeah, maybe you should.

BADSTAR: Errr, anyway sir, do you know Lionhair Studios?

CEO: Yes.

CHWOKA: When did you meet?

CEO: November Sixth.

CHWOKA: Where did you first meet?

CEO: Behind Pete's house.

BADSTAR: Did you steal that film?

CEO: No.

CHWOKA: Favorite old film?

CEO: Gone With the Wind.

CHWOKA: Marx Brothers movie?

CEO: Animal Crackers.

CHWOKA: What happened to the people who produced circus animal cookies?

CEO: They went out of business.

BADSTAR: What amount of film did you steal?!

CEO: None.

{short pause}

CHWOKA: I...you're good.

BADSTAR: Y'know, I'd use my percieve thing if thing if this was in the objection canon... but its not.

CEO: Seriously, though, I called you two in here for one reason — why did you break my bathroom door?

{Chwoka points to Badstar}

BADSTAR: {Long pause} ...It was working for Hitler?

{Longer pause}

BADSTAR: I'm going to jail, aren't I?

CEO: Well, yeah. But not only that, but you're going to have to pay for the door as well.

Reality ensues!

BADSTAR: Wait, wha

{Cut: Badstar talking to Chwoka through in the visiting area through the glass}

BADSTAR: Well, this is a flaw in the investigation...

CHWOKA: Yeah. So we hired a new defense. Bye!

{Chwoka leaves.}

BADSTAR: W-what!? NO! GET BACK HERE! ...{Sigh} There goes my paycheck...

{Fade out, end}