Gilligan 'n' Tracy/Ep6.

{The episode starts off with Gilligan in his kitchen. He appears to be cooking a grilled cheese sandwich on top of his stove.}

GILLIGAN: I'll give it some time to cook. {Walks off}

{An hour later...}

{Gilligan is sleeping on the couch. Smoke and fire is coming from the kitchen. The fire quickly spreads through his whole house. Gilligan wakes up}

GILLIGAN: {Yawn} That was a nice nap... {Looks around} ...Since when did I live in a house made out of fire? ...Oh. AW, CRAP!!! I WISH TRACY WOULD COME IN AND CONVIENTLY SAVE ME!!!

TRACY:{bursts through the door dressed as Kirby and riding a Dragoon} Sorry. I was at a Kirby convention. {starts putting out the fire}

GILLIGAN: {Runs out of the house} Whew... I'm safe... {Turns around} OH MY GOD!!!

{camera swings around to show a slightly charred mailman}

MAILMAN:{hands Gilligan a letter} Here you are sir.

GILLIGAN: Oh, thanks. {Looks at his house} OH MY GOD!!!

{Gilligan's house is almost completley destroyed}

UNHOLY TRACY:{runs out} Don't worry, I-Wait a second. {runs back inside the house}

TRACY:{runs out} Don't worry. I can fix it. {claps hands twice, the house reforms itself} Anyways, what's that thing? Looks like an unemployment check.

GILLIGAN: Dare I ask what that is?

TRACY: It a check people without jobs get from the government once a month to help pay for stuff.

GILLIGAN: Hmmmm... maybe I should get a job to replace the stuff that got destroyed in the fire!

TRACY: Um... I pay for all your important stuff. But, you should get a job. I'd suggest trying to get one where I work. You rarely have to do anything. It's pretty much a place to hang out.

GILLIGAN: Then whats the point?

TRACY: Then we can hang out more during the day. And you get a lot of money to waste on crap.

GILLIGAN: Sounds like a plan! What are you supposed to do at work, anyway?

TRACY: You kill miscellaneous things. My and my stepmom are basic angels of death. My dad's a galactic cataclyst, my grandmother's an angel of electronic death, and my grandfather's a planet-devourer.

GILLIGAN: You have a very homicidal family tree.

TRACY: I know. Isn't it GREAT?

GILLIGAN: Uh... yes?

TRACY: Correct. You get a cookie. {hands Gilligan a chocolate chip cookie} Now, let's go. Fortunately, My dad's a friend of the boss, so you'll likely get a job.

{Cut to Malifact and Malifact}

TRACY:{walks in with Gilligan} The boss is on the top floor. {enters the elevator}

GILLIGAN: {Enters Elevator} Who is the boss, anyways?

{the camera swings around to show Chaos at a desk. Raiku is standing in front of him}

RAIKU: So? Do I get the job?

CHAOS: Yeahhhhno. {presses a button on the desk}

{a trapdoor opens under Raiku, and he falls through it}

TRACY: Hey, boss!

CHAOS: Hi. What do you want?

GILLIGAN: I would like a job!

CHAOS: Sure. {reaches under desk, pulls out a book labeled "Bibble."(The spelling error is intentional. Don't fix it), tears out some pages from it, hands them to Gilligan} Here you go.

TRACY: He means he wants a job.

CHAOS: Oh! Well, I'm not so sure about that. Even though he IS your friend, he unnecessarily capitalized words.

GILLIGAN: {Pulls out a laptop and edits this episode} There! All fixed!

CHAOS: Ooh! Retconning! That'll get you the job! So, what do you plan to do here?

GILLIGAN: Umm... kill things?

CHAOS: Yes, but besides that. ...Anyways, how are you going to get to them? Tracy's told me that you don't want your mind corrupted via conscious warping, and I can tell you've already lost half of your brain cells.

GILLIGAN: Well, I can fly.

RAIKU: {still falling} How long is this going to last?!?

GILLIGAN: {Pulls out his grenade launcher and fires grenades down the pit} SHUT UP, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!

RAIKU: BUT I AM IMMORTAL AND CHAO'S GOD BROTHER!!!

CHAOS: I'LL KILL YOU DEAD FOR THAT IDIOTIC GRAMMATICAL ERROR!

GILLIGAN: So do I get the job or not?

CHAOS: Yep. You can be a low-ranking shinigami, just like Tracy.

GILLIGAN: ... Low-ranking? Well, better then nothing I suppose.

CHAOS: Look, kid. You have to be VERY skilled in the field of death. Even Charles Manson got a low-ranking job.

GILLIGAN: I AM very skilled! I once made Tracy's dad disenagrate!

CHAOS: ... Okay... About how long did it take?

TRACY: Gilligan, they pay VERY well. Even for my job. And it's not because I'm Bell's son. Besides, all low-ranking shinigami are kept on one floor, so it's likely you won't see me much during work.

GILLIGAN: {Not paying attention to Tracy} About 10 seconds.

CHAOS: ...That'd get you a job as a galactic cataclyst. Since you can't teleport, I'll give you a spare Tardis so you can transport yourself everywhere. What do you want it to look like?

GILLIGAN: Hmmm... light blue.

CHAOS: Okay then. {snaps fingers, a light blue Tardis appears}

GILLIGAN: YAY!!! Isn't this great, Tracy?

TRACY: It'll be even better when he tells you your salary.

CHAOS: It's $10,000 an hour.

GILLIGAN: ............................. Please cover your ears.

{Cut to a shot of earth from space. Gilligan yelling "WHOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" can be heard. cut back. Tracy's head has exploded and Chaos' eyes and ears have popped out of their sockets and are bleeding, respectively}

GILLIGAN: So, when do I start? ...Hey, are you okay?

CHAOS:{pops eyes back into head} Yeah. You start... Mmm... Now.

GILLIGAN: Yay! So, where am I supposed to go?

CHAOS: We'll tell you when you get a mission. Galaxies rarely are in need of cataclysms.

GILLIGAN: Oh. Okay. ...So, what do I do now?

TRACY: Mess around, play pranks, make chauvinistic comments to women, etcetera, etcetera.

CHAOS: It's all outlined in this Employee Handbook. This has all of the Raise information, Job Facts, yadda, yadda, there's a test on it for you on Friday.

GILLIGAN: Okay! TIME TO MESS AROUND!!! {Jumps out window}

TRACY: I'll get the pot and the roman candles! {poofs up a bag of pot, and some fireworks, jumps out the window}

CHAOS: {Heads over to window;Yelling} DON'T FORGET I WANT THAT ARTICLE OF CATACLYSMIC HYBRID CELL DESTABILIZERS ON MY DESK BY 5, TRACY!

TRACY: OKAY! I'LL BE SURE TO RETCON IT THERE!

{On friday...}

TRACY: Hey, Gilligan. I just remembered. On ridays we get to kill whoever we want. Think of it as a casual friday for death.

GILLIGAN: Sorry. Can't kill anybody today. I have to take a test.

TRACY: Oh. Okay then. See ya! {runs off}

{Later...}

{cut to Gilligan taking the test}

GILLIGAN: Murderous weapon of choice? Grenade launcher! {Writes something on the test} There! All done!

TRACY:{hanging from ceiling} Good. Give it to Chaos and let's go kill some hobos.

GILLIGAN: Okay! By the way... I have something to show you! {Warps away, then warps back, but without the test.} TA-DA! I learned how to warp!

TRACY: Neat. ...Odd. You don't SEEM corrupt.

GILLIGAN: I'm THAT awesome!

TRACY: Er, okay...

{cut to Bell, dressed as a nerd, typing on a computer}

IM A BELL: You're just getting a delayed reaction, methinks. {nerdy laugh}

{cut back}

GILLIGAN: Anyway, I- ....... SDGJSDGOSHGSPHJPDHJ!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY MIND IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {Runs out window}

{cut back to Bell}

IM A BELL: Bawww, my epileptic tree has been disproven.

{cut back}

TRACY: ...Now you know how I felt.

{OOC: If you don't understand Bell's last line, let me direct your attention to this}

{OOC: I already saw. I wrote that to prove that part to prove that wasn't the reason that Gilligan dissapeared}

{OOC: Ah. I see}

{The next day...}

GILLIGAN: {Gets in an elevator.} Well, bye man. I've gotta get to the galactic cataclyst floor! See ya! {The doors close and the elevator goes up}

{cut to the galactic cataclyst floor. Gilligan exits the elevator}

IM A BELL: Hey, you're Tracy's friend, aren't you? You got THIS job? Sweet. How much did Tracy bribe Chaos to get you this?

GILLIGAN: Actually, Chaos didn't get bribed. I just told him how you got disenegrated by a certain 13, now 18, year-old cathuman.

IM A BELL: That's... Nice. Um, so, what've you been up to for the past five years?

GILLIGAN: Oh, the usual. Getting into wacky antics with Tracy, stuff like that.

IM A BELL: Huh. Interesting. I've been doing this and continually mourning the loss of my wife.

{OOC: Records of Bell takes place during the time between when Tracy and Gilligan went their separate ways and when Tracy became Unholy Tracy.}

{OOC: Odd... I thought G&T takes place before all that...}

{OOC: That what I meant. G&T takes place right before RoB does.}

{OOC: Oh. Okay.}

GILLIGAN: Um... good for you?

IM A BELL: Not as bad as you may think. I get a reason to beat up my son. I say he's matricidal.

{Chaos' Voice some on over a monitor.}

CHAOS: Remember, Bell, You lost your Family Insurance when you Sweared at Epharim, the plucky young male accountant over at Mortal Stock Investments. Beating Tracy up too much could prove you a fatal and moronic move.

TRACY:{yelling up from low-class shinigami floor} WE DON'T CARE!

{The intercom turns off, and Tracy can be seen being thrown off of the top of the building by Chaos.}

TRACY:{grabs a windowsill, flings himself into the room, lands right beside Bell and Gilligan} Yo.

GILLIGAN: WHY HELLO THAR

IM A BELL: We do not like your kind up here.

TRACY: ... {punches Bell in the face}

GILLIGAN: FALCON... PUUUUUUUUNCH!!!!!! {Punches bell in the stomach}

IM A BELL:{jumps up} FALCON KICK! {kicks Gilligan in the face}

GILLIGAN: {Stinkoman voice} CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

{Chaos comes back on the intercom.}

CHAOS: Bell, The workers from the Cincinatti Branch are here to share your Malifact & Malifact Stock Portfolio options for 2009. Go wow them now!

IM A BELL: Right. {warps off}

GILLIGAN: Well, that fight was less epic then I expected.

CHAOS: {Over Intercom} Gilligan, will you please report to my office?

GILLIGAN: Huh. Wonder what the boss wants.

{Cut to Chaos's office. Gilligan enters}

GILLIGAN: What is it, sir?

CHAOS: Gilligan, we have confidential security footage of YOU stealing the cookie from the cookie jar!

GILLIGAN: What!? NO! I WAS SET UP! SET UP I TELL YOU!!!!!

CHAOS: Then explain...THIS!

{Chaos presses a button, and a real-life video of a fat 30 year-old man dressed like Gilligan walks into a room and pulls a cookie out of a Trivia Time jar.}

CHAOS: The person who sent this in to us said he SAW you committing this crime!

GILLIGAN: {In a pheonix wright voice} OBJECTION! There is a huge contradiction in that tape! That person looks nothing like me!

CHAOS: Are you kidding! Just look at that gut! You need to work your Twees more often!

GILLIGAN: Thats not me! He isn't even part cat!

CHAOS: He's got kitty ears and a kitty tail...

GILLIGAN: THOSE ARE PLASTIC CLIP ONS!!!

{the fat man looks at the camera, panics, and explodes}

TRACY: There's even more proof! Gilligan isn't immortal, and I can sense that nobody has brought him back from the dead!

CHAOS: You can't do that. We got that from the security archives last week.

TRACY: Hmm... Wait a minute! Look at that! {points to a camcorder at the edge of the screen} And, now to prove it wasn't Gilligan! {pulls out a very similar camcorder, transforms into a fat man dressed as Gilligan, warps away, warps back a few seconds later} Done! I was the fat Gilligan! And I have the video evidence to prove it! Oh, FYI, I hid the cookie in your left pocket.

CHAOS: You idiot! You two failed the Resilience Check! I can give you half credit if you can tell me why.

TRACY: I like destroying the fabric of space, one thread at a time?

GILLIGAN: It's true!

CHAOS: No. Gilligan started here on Monday. It's friday, four days later, and the security video was shot a week, or 7 days ago. And 4 minus 7 equals NEGATIVE 3.

GILLIGAN: ...What are ya, a complete moron or something?

TRACY: ...Sh-shut up. {opens a door, storms into it, slams it shut} ...I appear to have locked myself in a closet. Can you help me?

GILLIGAN: I was talking to Chaos, not you! {Mutters} Ya moron...

CHAOS: You're the idiot for not realizing the point of this: If you started here 4 days ago and we have footage of you doing something bad 3 days before you hired, and it wasn't obviously you, you should be able to notice it's too old of a recording to be valid. I even said that it was filmed last week.

TRACY:{breaks out of closet} THERE WE GO. ...Don't worry, I'll pay for it. ...Hooray, everyone's dead. {walks off}

GILLIGAN: You know what, Chaos? I QUIT! {Walks off}

{Cut to Gilligan's house, two weeks later. Tracy and Gilligan are there watching TV on the couch}

GILLIGAN: Well, I finally got a new job!

TRACY: Really? Where?

GILLIGAN: At the airport. I am now an offical private jet!

TRACY: ...Wh-Nevermind, I can guess what you mean. But, go ahead and explain, so if any idiots are watching, they can understand.

GILLIGAN: I basically fly people around to places like france. Y'know, that kinda stuff.

TRACY: Thought so. And for the REAL idiots, he uses his tail to fly. just like Tails.

GILLIGAN: Well, should we end this episode and begin our epic, super dramatic, two-parter?

TRACY: Sure.

GILLIGAN: Okay, on the count of 3... One... Two... THREE!

IT'S OVER!!!