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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I have seen Hell and it has seen me.<br/>'''SKUB:''' Soldier on, man. Only two more to go.<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' ''{weeping}'' I don't— I don't think I can take it!</blockquote>
| + | ''{Domo is watching Scrubs while siting on the coach.}'' |
| | | |
− | ''{A newspaper shows up on the screen.}'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' It baffles me why they made a character like Scrubs so much, because that means Scrubs is a favorite of one of them, and this show has nothing in common with Scrubs at all.</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Uh, yeah.<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' Although their liking of Scrubs has nothing to do with anything. If they liked Firefly or something, it wouldn't matter either.</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''NEWSPAPER:''' ''{Reading itself}'' COOLCON '09! Visit today! Favorite stars like... Domo! | + | '''COACH Z:''' GET ORF OF ME! |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' All credibility has been instantly destroyed.</blockquote> | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' honestar runners rule</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | T Pedo! Pedobear! Lemon! Im a bell! Well-spider! Remains of Michael Myers! Jason Voorhees! Freddy Krueger! Japanese Woman! Crazy Man Dancing w/ Dynamite! Leatherface! Big Mac the Macintosh! Apocalypse! Hurricane! Ichigo! Naruto! Chuck Norris! The Dalek Ichigo Killed! Snakezon H4R0H1!
| + | '''DOMO:''' RAWR! |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' so basically last episode was already coolcon and we're just retreading ground here. cool, i quess.</blockquote>
| + | ''{Domo eats the Coach's body'' |
| | | |
− | And finally...
| + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' '', leaving only his soul.''</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Bob Saget as Dan Tanner</blockquote>
| + | ''and moves to the couch. Pause a few seconds.'' |
| | | |
− | Talking newspaper!
| + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' DOCTR OGANABLEUGH</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' A tad dated, even for Bell and his compatriots, dontcha think?</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | ''{Fade to T Pedo's American home.'' | + | ''T Pedo runs onscreen holding a shotgun}'' |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''He is watching his American TV Channels on his American TV while sitting on his American couch.''</blockquote>
| + | '''T PEDO:''' DOMO, HELP! IT'S- |
| | | |
− | ''Domo is sitting on a couch, watching Scrubs.}'' | + | ''{Suddenly, a giant monster bursts through the wall and eats T Pedo}'' |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Fun fact: The only people I know who say that Scrubs is their favorite sitcom have never actually watched another sitcom. Also, they're all girls.</blockquote>
| + | '''DOMO:''' AH SHI- |
− | <!--- EDIT -Lemon--->
| |
| | | |
− | '''T PEDO:'''''{walks in}'' ...Scrubs? You like that show? | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' that's not ''iiiit''</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Scrubs: "You Like That Show?" (now on comedy central)<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' (all the fucking time)</blockquote>
| + | ''{pulls out sniper rifle from a cushion and fires it at the monster}'' |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' ''Yes.'' Why don't you like it, Dr. Cox- | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "So ''that's'' where it slipped off to! Hell, remote's prolly down there too!"</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' BECAUSE T PEDO IS SUCH A RENOWNED HARDASS CYNICAL BASTARD<br/>'''NACHOMAN:''' i wrote this scrubs fanfic based on our life where you're dr. cox and i'm jd</blockquote>
| + | ''{the monster explodes, covering the walls with blood.'' |
| | | |
− | I mean Tim? | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''A metal band asks if they can shoot their music video in this room.''</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' '''''HA ! HA ! HA ! HA !'''''<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' Yes, I steal jokes.<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' This guy is poiiiissssoooooooonnnnnnnn</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' I don't know...
| + | ''T Pedo lands on the ground}'' |
| | | |
− | ''{A newspaper flys'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' lookin' like a fool with ya lands on the ground</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Also dated.</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' fly like paper</blockquote>
| + | '''DOMO:''' LEMON! BELL! BIG MAC! COME IN HERE! |
| | | |
− | ''through the window and hits Domo.'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Last time I gave someone twenty it was twenty kills to my AD carry Twitch.</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' ''The wounds are fatal, and as Domo falls to the ground, the only thing that T Pedo can think about is how cool Bell is at everything including writing. Domo bleeds out on the carpet.''</blockquote>
| + | ''{They rush in}'' |
| | | |
− | ''}'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' tom sawyer is a pretty cool song i ''guess''' but i don't get people who say they're the best band ever</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Damn newsboy... | + | '''DOMO:''' We have some paranormal activity here. |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "but i am but a poor newsie and i need to eat foo-"<br/>'''SKUB:''' "BOOTSTRAPS!"</blockquote> | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "But don't worry—it's not really as scary as everybody said it was."<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' What we have here is a failure to communicate. </bush presidency></blockquote> |
| | | |
− | ''{Picks up newspaper and reads'' | + | Now Pedo, what's that you were gonna tell me? |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''the comics section only.}''</blockquote>
| + | '''T PEDO:''' Well, I was going to tell you about the other giant monster. |
| | | |
− | ''}'' | + | ''{A giant monster that looks similar to [http://www.toysnjoys.com/godzilla/Hedorahvinyl.jpg Hedorah] burst through the wall and absorbs Bell}'' |
| | | |
− | T! | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' So ''Hedorah''<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' Friend to all children, and thus natural enemy and T Pedo.</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Now they've devolved into just calling him by one letter, and that is unacceptable. There is only one man allowed to be named T, and his name starts with a Mister.</blockquote>
| + | '''DOMO:''' AHHHHHHH ''{Throws Big Mac at the monster}'' |
| | | |
− | Look at this!
| + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "I SAID NO TOMATOES" ''{punches the ocean}''</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' WHAT IS IT D | + | '''MONSTER:''' ... ''{breaks Big Mac in half}'' |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Candlejack is on the loo- | + | '''DOMO:''' NOOOOO! |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' ''{trembling with rage}'' I don't know if I can hold it much longer, Chwoka. I really don't think I can.<br/>''{Skub shakes like a big bowl of jello}''<br/>''{Unmixed, liquid jello}''</blockquote> | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "NOT BIG MAC, THE THING THAT WE'VE REVIVED LIKE TWENTY TIMES NOW!"</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Last time I revived an idea like twenty times now it involved poisoning someone's drink with Benadryl.</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | ''{Candlejack comes in.'' | + | ''{pulls out rifle and shoots.}'' |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''the air tonight. Ooh lord. Ooh lord.''</blockquote>
| + | '''LEMON:''' Donut worry! ''{Lemon throws some fire at the monster.'' |
| | | |
− | ''Domo shows him Big Mac'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' AH FUCK MY HAND WHY DID I THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO HOLD FIRE</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' THE MAC DADDY<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' THE DADDY MAC</blockquote>
| + | ''after that he turns into Melon.'' |
| | | |
− | ''and he takes that instead. Domo then pulls in another Big Mac.}'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Is it a lemon? A melon? A lemomelon?<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' no its like sprite</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Also, Coolcon '09 is tomorrow! Let's bring Big Mac, Lemon, Bell, and us! | + | '''T PEDO:''' ...What the hell? |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' They have to remind themselves to take themselves.</blockquote>
| + | ''{the monster absorbs the fire and the bullet}'' |
| | | |
− | After all, we're VIPs and we get a free flight!
| + | '''MELON:''' ... I STAB. |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' In what stupid backwards-ass universe are ''these'' people "very important"?</blockquote> | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I STAB YOU STAB</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I CHECK YOU '''CHECK'''</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' ...SWEET | + | ''{stabs the monster}'' |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Hm, it says VIPS can bring one more. Who should we be? | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "I VICTORY, RETIRE CAVE"</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "I want to be Kurt Russel for a day."<br/>'''BLUEBRY:''' let ''me'' be your ''plus one''</blockquote>
| + | '''T PEDO:''' You idiot, you can't stab something with your hand! |
| | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' Hmm... | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Oh you!!<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' This is what happens when you use dialogue instead of action brackets to describe an action.</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' I already bought my plane ticket, | + | ''{the monster absorbs Melon}'' |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Man, these plots are awful plane-centric.</blockquote>
| + | '''T PEDO:''' ...Crap. |
| | | |
− | so you can exclude me from the list.
| + | '''DOMO:''' There's only one thing to do... ''{Domo summons the A-team. they assault the monster.}'' |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "I'd rather pay to fly than fly for free."</blockquote> | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Timely reference brah.<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' I never want to hear the word "assault" used in this show again, especially in regards to T Pedo.</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' The frontal assault's happening.<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' They're doing it.<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' They're making this<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' HAPPEN.</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Okay... So now we need two more... BAH LET'S JUST GO WITH YOU, ME, LEMON, AND BIG MAC. | + | Go get 'em, Mr T! Not you, Hannabal! |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Well, at least we didn't get Ebeneezer Scrooge and Znex and god knows who else out of this.</blockquote>
| + | ''{a ball that has Hannah Montana's face on it bounces onscreen}'' |
| | | |
− | '''MCDONALDS BIG MAC:''' ME!? | + | '''HANNAH-BALL:''' Aww... |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' The Big Mac ''will'' make you large enough to take up two seats! '''''HA ! HA ! HA ! HA !'''''<br/>'''SKUB:''' It's funny 'cause I know it's true from experience!<br/>'''SKUB:''' Wait did I say funny?</blockquote>
| + | '''HANNABAL:''' ''{...picks up Hannah-Ball and throws her at the monster.}'' |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' No. The Macintosh | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' S-so did Melon or whoever not ''get the fact that he made a typo when it was made clear by his co-author that sfHSAFHSDfh'''SFHSDH'''''</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' Yes! My Benadryl poison is working!<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' Had a little lip poison in case of an ''emergency''</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | '''MCDONALDS BIG MAC:''' Awww... | + | ''{the monster absorbs Hannah-Ball and grows blond hair, and a microphone juts out of his eye. The monster growls in confusion}'' |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' '''''HA ! HA ! HA ! HA !'''''<br/>'''NACHOMAN:''' so is that our new thing now or what<br/>'''SKUB:''' Gee golly I ''hope'' so!</blockquote>
| + | ''{Domo sneezes on the monster}'' |
| | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Now, let's go. | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Can't he just integrate with the previous line</blockquote> |
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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I O</blockquote>
| + | '''DOMO:''' Yeah, NOW what you gonna do? |
| | | |
− | ''{fades'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Whachu gonna do... now??? Whachu gonna do... this time???</blockquote> |
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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' worst haircut</blockquote>
| + | ''{the monster turns green and starts oozing some kind of viscous'' |
| | | |
− | ''to an airport. Domo and T Pedo shows the VIP to a lady. they go on the plane's first class section'' | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' sid viscous</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' I could've sworn the viscous gas should've suffocated Chwoka by now.<br> |
| + | '''NOXIGAR:''' Tannenbaum, you rascal! Did you disable my traps?</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Aww man! They just went all over the first class section!</blockquote>
| + | ''fluid out of everywhere on its body.}'' |
| | | |
− | ''and sit down.}'' | + | '''DOMO:''' Oh crap, I had AIDS when I sneezed on you but I'm magic so now I'm cured now. |
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− | '''IM A BELL:'''''{walks in and sits down}'' Hey, guys. | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Turning green and oozing fluids. Those are symptoms of AIDS.</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' No, that would be a different poison I concocted. You will morph into a Cobra Commander under my control.</blockquote> |
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− | '''LEMON:''' Wait, I thought you were going into Coach! | + | ''{The monster grows a mouth'' |
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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' please! not coach z!<br/>'''SKUB:''' i want to go drink dishwashing liquid to get the visions out of my eyes now, THANKS CHWOKA</blockquote> | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' wait, how<br/>''{Chwoka raises a gun to his head.}''<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' how</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' The safety's permanently lodged. Enjoy the slow, painful demise.</blockquote> |
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− | '''IM A BELL:''' I did, too, but I apparently bought a First Class ticket. | + | ''and tries to growl in disgust, but all that comes out is vomit}'' |
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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' "This is gonna suck. I wish I didn't get so much ''leg'' room it's just I ''hate'' this plane!"</blockquote>
| + | ''{Domo pulls out a knife and stabs the monster.'' |
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− | '''DOMO:''' Anyways, I'll look at this cool comic I found at a cafe with this blond. | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' again, why can't he just make this part of the previous action bracket</blockquote> |
| | | |
− | ''{Domo pulls out a comic about competitive motorcycle racing. A man in the comic winks at him and a sketch like hand comes out, inviting Domo to enter his animated world. Domo grabs the hand. Cut to the comic. Through a creative effect they both view each other through a window which shows them (and the cast members) alternately in live action and animated. Cut to real life. The flight aid of the plane comes back to give Domo peanuts, she finds Him missing and believes that he has left without peanuts. She angrily crumples up the comic book and throws it into the wastebasket. As this happens, two of the man's competitors in the race come back for revenge. One, wielding a pipe wrench, smashes the window. The man punches one of the thugs and retreats with Domo into a maze created by the crumpled paper. The man tears a hole so Domo can escape as he faces the two thugs. Domo, heavily ink-stained, reappears on the floor next to the waste basket on the plane, to the surprise of the airport employees and cast.}'' | + | ''The monster absorbs the knife and spikes jut out of his hands. The monster vomits in confusion.}'' |
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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">''{Skub takes out a bottle of pills. He starts to open it but Chwoka stops him. He mouths the word "later". Skub nods and puts the pills in his cupholder.}''</blockquote>
| + | '''DOMO:''' He Vomited Melon! |
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− | '''DOMO:''' Well, that was weird. | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' not a good band name</blockquote> |
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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Can somebody tell me what the point of that scene was?</blockquote>
| + | ''{throws T Pedo at the monster}'' |
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− | '''IM A BELL:''' ...Riiiiiiiiiiiight. | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' time, time, time, time, TIME, to understand the monster</blockquote> |
| + | <blockquote.''{Noxigar snaps his fingers}''<br> |
| + | ''{Noxigar does the step.}''<br> |
| + | ''{He can do it by himself. Let him see you do it.}''<br> |
| + | ''{Yeah.}''</blockquote> |
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− | <nowiki><!--- fyi it was a take on me video reference ---></nowiki>
| + | ''{The monster absorbs T Pedo, and gains some kind of translucence, similar to that of the [http://theinfosphere.org/images/e/e1/H_G_Blob.jpg Horrible Gelatinous Blob], revealing T Pedo, along with everything else he's absorbed}'' |
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− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Oh ''WAS IT''</blockquote> | + | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Is it... is it over? Like, for ''real''?<br/>''{Skub cries tears of joy and also a yule log.}''</blockquote> |
− | | + | <blockquote>'''NOXIGAR:''' And now for the gas to work... |
− | '''DOMO:''' That guy was just so dreamy... Oh, the plane is landing.
| |
− | | |
− | ''{It lands}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' ''{The plane, however, crashes into the sea after a failed improvised landing. Nobody was mourned.}''</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:'''''{sarcastic}'' ...Well THAT was an amazing landing.
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' "Yeah, plane, land better next time! '''Fuck you, landing!''' Getting me to my destination without crashing and killing everybody just doesn't do it, champ. Overall I give this landing a 4 out of 10.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''LEMON:''' Oh, was it?
| |
− | | |
− | ''{The get off the plane and find a guy with a sign saying "DOMO, T PEDO, BIG MAC, BELL, LEMON".''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''He is a dirty hobo and the other side of the sign fortells the apocalypse that comes at their hands.}''</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | They go to him and step onto a limo.}''
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− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ...Dare I ask why we're standing on the roof of the limo?
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Usually when people say to "step on it," they mean speed up! But you never know with these three lovable lunatics!</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' ...I don't know.
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− | | |
− | ''{The step into the limo
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''was quite possibly the most momentous and dangerous step they ever took''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | . There are LED lights everywhere. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz1PtyYCrZQ this] is playing on the radio.}''
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Well, you had better do as you are told. You'd better listen to the radio.<br/>'''SKUB:''' Hold on let me get that video up.<br/>'''SKUB:''' Hahaha it's a zany Beatles/Metallica mixup tribute band! Isn't that clever of whoever thought that up I mean it's ''metal'' and ''pop'' there's ''no way that makes sense''!!</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' ...Wait, where are we going again?
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''We''<nowiki>'</nowiki>re ''of''f t''o s''ee ''th''e w''iz''ar''d, ''th''e w''on''de''rf''ul ''wi''za''rd ''of'' Oz!</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | ''{Everyone but T Pedo facepalms.}''
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">''{Skub's hand somehow begins to gravitate to his face. Skub looks on in horror at his Idle Hands as they near his face. His silent terror is ignored by his comrades.}''</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' COOLCON 09 COOLCON 09
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' COUPON BUG DOT COM COUPON BUG DOT COM COUPON BUG DOT COM COUPON BUG DOT COM COUPON BUG DOT COM </BLOCKQUOTE>
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− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' ...Was there ever an '08?
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' It turns out that 2008 never actually existed. George W. Bush is still President and Frank Caliendo is making more money than ever. ''Welcome to the Bad Future''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THIS IS NEW.
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' THIS IS THE NEW SHIT.</BLOCKQUOTE>
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− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' OH I SEE
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− | | |
− | ''{The limo stops.''
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''Hydraulics engage, lift that back end up like dat ass, girl''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''Everyone
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' moon-</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | walks out of the limo.}''
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− | | |
− | '''LEMON;''' Here we are.
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' once again. i'm toRN INTO PIECES</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | Coolcon '09.
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− | | |
− | ''{Shows a gold, glowing building saying "Coolcon '09"}''
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− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' I wonder how much this cost.
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' It's really just a normal, brick-and-mortar building, but Bell and friends are ''fuckin' high as shit''</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | '''GOLD GLOWING BUILDING:''' Coolcon '09! Coolcon '09!
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' high as ''shit''</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | ''{They walk in while doing a bad jig}''
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− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' DANCE DANCE DANCE ''{trips and falls}''
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− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' I cite this as support for my argument.</blockquote>
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− | | |
− | ''{They show their VIP passes to a guy and go to their golden booth''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Golden shower booth.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''while doing a bad disco jig}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' DISCO DISCO DISCO ''{trips and falls on his afro}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' whAT AFRO. YOU WERE MAKING SOME SEMBLANCE OF SENSE, however ramshackle, FOR MOST OF THIS EPISODE. which just makes this one infraction ALL THE MORE INFURIATING.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{A small, chubby, stinky kindergartner runs up to the stand}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Unattended.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''KINDERGATNER:''' ''{to T Pedo}'' Hewwo! Me name Tim wike you!
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Oh, shit— I really don't want to read any more of this. I'm afraid I'll get arrested or something.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' HEY SAY THIS WORD OUT LOUD AND YOU WIN A PRIZE ''{pulls out a sign that says "Candlejack"}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Everything went better than expected!</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''TIM:''' Candajak!
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Pause. Nothing happens}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' '''~redundant~'''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' Hmm... CANDLEJACK
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Candlejack runs in. T Pedo gives him Tim.''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' If we ever need a scapegoat...<br/>''{Chwoka covers NachoMan's ears and nods silently to the rest of the group, who nod back.}''<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' ...new kid, definitely.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''Candlejack takes Tim and runs off}'' | |
− | | |
− | ''{Domo does a jig on top of the booth.}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' RAZZLE DAZZLE ''{runs off}''
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Five weird teenagers with iPods and Mohawks walk up.}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' I have a feeling that somebody was beat up at school. A lot. By five weird teenagers with iPods and Mohawks. Walk up.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''TEENAGER:''' haw haw
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' fnaw fnaw</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | look at those geeks!
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' guys i think the teenagers... are ''us''<br/>'''NACHOMAN:''' Woah man! Don't go blowin' minds so flippantly!</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | lol... LOL!!!
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Chwoka, I have a premonition!<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' What do you mean?<br/>'''SKUB:''' Whatever you do, ''don't open your eyes''!</br>'''CHWOKA:''' WHAT DO YOU MEAN<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' IS IT A CUP FULL OF SHIT AND YOU HAVE TO DRINK IT</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ... ''{sees the iPods,''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' What does this guy have against iPods<br/>'''BLUEBRY:''' no he doesn't hate them, he just wants them all really badly.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''screeches, starts attacking them}''
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Lemon and Domo combine their super duper powers to rewind time and pause it. They take the iPods and replace them with normal MP3s.''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''Just the mp3s. They are holding something in thier hands what is purely digital.''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''resume.}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ... ''{screeches, starts attacking the teens}''
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Lemon and Domo combine their super duper powers to rewind time and pause it. They take the MP3s and replace them with plastic mp3s. resume.}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ... ''{screeches, starts attacking the teens}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Okay seriously</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Lemon and Domo combine their super duper powers to rewind time and pause it. They take the plastic MP3s and replace them with apples. resume.}'
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' ''seriously''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ... ''{screeches, starts attacking the teens}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Boy guys isn't random assault and mugging ''hilarious'', especially when done several times?</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Lemon and Domo combine their super duper powers to rewind time and pause it. They take the apples and replace them with Im a bell dolls. resume.}
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ... ''{screeches, rips open a hole in reality, runs into it}''
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Lemon throws the teens in the hole and puts a patch on the hole.''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I remember my old smoking hole, freshamn year. They eventually had to patch everbody who wnet up there, just to stop the cravings after they filled it in.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''Domo smacks Lemon, takes off the patch, takes out Bell, and puts a No-teen patch on it.''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' What</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''Im a bell smacks Domo and puts a nicotine patch on it. A huge crowd begins Domo, T Pedo, and Lemon dance for them}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">''{Skub is on the ground, weeping.}''<br/>'''SKUB:''' CAN I PLEASE, JUST,<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' ''No''! Not yet!<br/>''{Skub cries some more but Bluebry kicks him for being a homo.}''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' OH GOD THERE BEGINNING TO DOMO RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' YOU WERE MAKING SO MUCH RELATIVE SENSE.<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' you were making so much ''sense''...<br/>'''CHWOKA:'''<small><small>why did you have to RUIN it...</small></small></blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''VOICE:''' This place... This place is
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' sick, let's have some fun, this place is sick, I want to take a ride on your disco stick.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | like, going to explode in 5 minutes.
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' OH THANK GOD I WANTED TO DIE
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' The Adventures of Domo and T Pedo: "GOD I WANTED TO DIE"</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{God's Almighty Hand''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' godhand pickle inspector<br/>'''SKUB:''' such a fcuking!,.......<br/>'''SKUB:''' NERDsf<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' okay seriously now you're just making up sbahj comics to reference<br/>'''SKUB:''' It's the only thing that keeps me sane :(</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''comes in and grabs Big Mac, Lemon, Bell, Domo, and T Pedo, making them safe.
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' DAMMIT
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' I DIDN'T WANNA BE SAFE! AND I DIDN'T WANNA RIDE FIRST CLASS EITHER!<br/>'''NACHOMAN:''' Despite all his intentions, things just keep turning out right for the poor fella!</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{BOOM.}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' , CLAP, BOOM BOOM CLAP.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{a piece of wall stabs itself into Bell's head}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' Hey, I don't blame it. If I got the opportunity, so would I.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' HOLY HELL
| |
− | | |
− | ''{THEY RUN}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' AND THEY RANNNNN... THEY RAN SO FAR AWAAAY...<br/>''{Chwoka keeps one finger on the same synth key the entire video}''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' IIII'M RUNNING NOW ''{trips on a rock, explodes in a mushroom cloud}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' ATTOMMIIICCC BOMMMMB
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' what does this WHAT DOES THIS have to do with ANYTHING</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:'''''{transforms into what appears to be Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, but with a sword in his afro}'' SUPER FIST OF THE MAKE-THIS-SERIES-EVEN-STUPIDER: RANDOM CRAP
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' It's just... worse. Than I thought it could ever be.</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{cut to Bell in front of many burning people. His head starts shaking, turns red, and explodes. Then cut to a car. What is love is playing. T pedo, Lemon, and Domo are head bobbing. A vampire wielding a knife appears in the car}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">''{Chwoka is crying tears of anguish and also blood.}''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''VAMPIRE:''' SIC SEMPER TYRANNUS ''{repeatedly stabs Lemon in the ear}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' ACCIDENT? LIKE YOU BROKE A WINDOW MATT A BABY
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ''{pulls out a knife, repeatedly stabs Lemon in the other ear}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' I'LL TAKE YOUR AIDS ''{Pulls out Big Mac, repeatedly stabs Lemon in the heart}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' WHIMMY WHAM WHAM WOZZLE ''{repeatedly bites Lemon on the nose}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' NORRRRMAAALLLL SOONG YOU SING IT TO BE NORMAL
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Cut to the Coolcon remains. There are many corpses and pieces of flaming gold.}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' ''I can't do this any more''<br/>''{Skub runs out of the theater. Sounds of painful emesis can be heard as Chwoka, NachoMan and Bluebry stare unflinchingly at the screen. After about a minute, Skub ambles back in.}''<br/>'''SKUB:''' I know I was rationing it but ''Jesuchristo''</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''T PEDO:''' ...GOLD ''{touches the burning gold}'' OW. ...GOLD ''{touches the burning gold}'' OW. ...GOLD ''{touches the burning gold}'' OW. ...GOLD ''{touches the burning gold}'' OW. ...G-
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Bell roundhouse kicks T Pedo in the face}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''CHWOKA:''' This went from being way better than the first episode to way worse than the first episode suprisingly fast. It's like the episode stopped taking its meds and now it can't keep focused for more than three lines.</blockquote> | |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' ... I CALL THE CORPSES
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Domo starts eating corpses, 10 a minute.}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' THIS TV SHOW SUCKS
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Yep</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' ... AND YOU JUST NOTICED THIS FACT
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' WHY THE HELL ARE WE EVEN IN IT
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' I DON'T KNOW THIS IS SO DUMB THAT WE'RE YELLING
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' IS ANYONE EVEN WATCHING THIS SHOW
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' Yep</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Actually, 335 people tuned into the first episode, and 422 for this, really.
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' No there is no fucking way</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ...Neat.
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' I know, really? Now 426 people have tuned in for this episode.
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' How can you tell?
| |
− | | |
− | '''DOMO:''' Well, I'm reading a teleprompter.
| |
− | | |
− | '''IM A BELL:''' ...Teleprompter? What telepro-
| |
− | | |
− | ''{A teleprompter falls onto Bell's head, knocking him out. Domo fuses with bell, making Im a Doll, who fuses with Lemon's corpse to make Im a Dollmon. Then, Im a Dollmon forms with T Pedo to make T Dollmondo, who is 50 ft tall. (Tee Doll-mawn-do). T Dollmondo breaks out of the studio and rages over Hollywood}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' I read that as "rapes over Hollywood" so there's a funny little tidbit.<br/>'''CHWOKA:''' That's it. I'm out.<br/>''{Chwoka places a cardboard cutout of himself in his seat, and leaves.}''<br/>'''SKUB:''' You can't just... you can't just ''leave!'' You still have to riff!<br/>'''FAKE CHWOKA:''' ''{playing from tape recorder}'' What?<br/>'''SKUB:''' Well, I guess it's mostly the same...</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''T DOLLMONDO:''' GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHL
| |
− | | |
− | ''{Helicopters and tanks come on''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''FAKE CHWOKA:''' 80s song reference!</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''and shoot}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''T DOLLMONDO:''' HRAAAAAAAAALLLLLLGH ''{steps on some tanks}''
| |
− | | |
− | ''{ T Dollmondo realizes he's two feet tall}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''T DOLLMONDO:''' ...HHHHHNGHSHNIGGLETTY ''{runs into a wall}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''F MATOMA:''' MMMMMPHMAAARRL ''{THIS IS YOUR MOM GO TO BED}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''FAKE CHWOKA:''' This is bad! It's like colorful metaphorical phrase!</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | '''T DOLLMONDO:''' FLIGGELLLLLLSNM ''{I NO WANNA}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''F MATOMA:''' GRRRAAOOUUULLL ''{DON'T MAKE ME PULL OUT THAT KNIFE}''
| |
− | | |
− | '''T DOLLMONDO:''' SWAAAAAALLLLL ''{KNIFE WHAT KNIFE} {sees a knife in his chest}'' HNGHGHGHGHLBLBL ''{OH THAT KNIFE}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''FAKE CHWOKA:''' Skub is just "fat" spelled backwards!<br/>''{Skub counts on his fingers.}''<br/>'''SKUB:''' Hey!</blockquote>
| |
− | | |
− | ''{T Dollmondo turns back into all of the characters, now passed out fade to black. To be continued...? is on the screen}''
| |
− | | |
− | <blockquote class="mft3k">'''SKUB:''' It's like they've found out how to make me hate them the most.<br/>'''NACHOMAN:''' There's secretly an ongoing contest between users for who can earn the most Skub scorn.<br/>'''SKUB:''' Maybe I should set up a points system or something...</blockquote>
| |
<blockquote.{Noxigar snaps his fingers}
{Noxigar does the step.}
{He can do it by himself. Let him see you do it.}
{Yeah.}</blockquote>