(even if you aren't vegan)
Zarel Emails/6/original
Zarel E-Mail #6
Zarel becomes a robot...or does he?
Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Strong Sad, Grape Nuts Robot, Strong Bad, Homestar, The Cheatbot, King Of Town, The Blacksmith, The Poopsmith, Wind-Up Zarel
Places: Zarel's House, The Stick, King's Castle
Transcript
{Cut to Zarel's Room}
ZAREL: WARNING: Using Zarel Emails as a respirator may cause side effects such as inability to breathe and wrecking balls to the torso. Ask your doctor or pharmacist.
</blockquote>
subj: what's a robuttHERES HOPING YOU DONT
-Your own worst enemy
BECOME A ROBOT
CLING CLANG
WHOOPS TOO LATE
{Zarel screams the email with the exception of the sender's name.}
STRONG SAD: {offscreen and faint} Keep it down!
ZAREL: {typing} Too late? Too late for what? You mean that I'm turning into a robot or something? What are you supposed to mean? Wait, I know how to answer this. {clears screen, typing} Would I want to become a robot...no. But I would have a robot made of me! But...I think that I've been beat to the punch. I mean, Strong Bad has that Grape-Nuts Robot-
{Cut to The Stick, Strong Bad and the Grape Nuts Robot stand there. Homestar walks by}
ZAREL: {voiceover} -and nothing beats that!
GRAPE-NUTS ROBOT: Now spell, "carp for brains."
STRONG BAD: You hear that, Homestar? You're a carp...er...crap for brains!
HOMESTAR: What ever.
STRONG BAD: Hey, man, don't be dissin' the Grape-Nuts, The Grape-Nuts is cool. So much cooler than that old, washed-up The Cheatbot I had.
{As Strong Bad is saying this, The Cheatbot walks in}
THE CHEATBOT: Meeeehhh... {walks away}
{Cut back to the Cappy}
ZAREL: {Typing} Wait, I've got it! I need to BEST Strong Bad and get a robot that works much better than that stupid Grape-Nuts bot and hang out with it much more than Strong Bad does with his Grape-ity Nut Nut.
{Cut to the King of Town's Castle}
ZAREL: Alright, so how much are we dealing this?
KING OF TOWN: You provide me with the best cook around and I will get my homies to make you a mechanoid!
ZAREL: Sounds goo...King, did you just try to be gangster?
KING OF TOWN: Word! Blacksmith, rassle up this man a robot in the hizzy!
{The Blacksmith salutes and runs off}
ZAREL: Ooookay. I'll be back.
{Cut to the Whatsit Pile, Zarel bounds and gags the Poopsmith and stuffs him in a baseball bag.}
{Cut back to the Cappy}
ZAREL: {typing} I hope the King is true to his word. It took me several awkward mall shopping and hours of learning hypnotism to get him a quote-on-quote "good cook." If this robot of mine isn't awesome as awesome, I-
{Zarel is tapped on the shoulder}
ZAREL: For the love of Pete Sampras I need to lock my-
{Zoom out to see a rather cartoony-looking robot sporting clothing similar to Zarel's and a wind-up crank. Zarel turns to see it standing there, his jaw drops}
ZAREL: Holy crap! That looks amazing! I-I'm speechless! I...I need to show you to Strong Bad.
{Cut to the Stick, Strong Bad and the Grape-Nuts Robot are there, Zarel and Wind-Up Zarel walk in}
ZAREL: Impressed?
STRONG BAD: Hm. Somewhat. But can it talk?
ZAREL: I dunno, he ain't talking much. Well, give him some time and he'll speak up.
GRAPE-NUTS ROBOT: Kiss the butt.
STRONG BAD: You tell him!
WIND-UP ZAREL: {in a southeastern accent} You are...an Englishman...with a dress!
GRAPE-NUTS ROBOT: {5 second pause} Gah.
{The Paper}
Easter Eggs
- Click on Strong Bad to see what happened to The Poopsmith.
Easter Egg Transcript
{Cut to the King's Castle. The Poopsmith is wearing an apron that says "Auntie Betty" and washing dishes, after 5 seconds, it cut backs to the previous scene.}
Fun Facts
- The intro is a take on a scene from Arfenhouse Teh Movie 6. WARNING: NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG AUDIENCES.
- The Cheatbot is from SBEmail: technology.
- Wind-Up Zarel is a complete take, voice and appearance-wise, on an old What A Cartoon! character, Wind-Up Wolf. You can watch the cartoon here.
- Wind-Up Zarel's line is part of a domination line said by The Soldier from Team Fortress 2. The full line is "Scotland is not a real country! You are an Englishman with a dress!" This is said when a Soldier dominates an enemy Demoman, who is part Scottish.