Zarel Emails/22

Zarel E-Mail #22

It's been two years since Zarel's last email, but he's back in action.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Zarel, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Pom Pom, Marzipan, Homestar Runner (PBTC), Homeschool Winner

Places: Strong Bad's Basement, The Cheat's Room, Strong Sad's Room, The Gazebo, The Field (PBTC)

Transcript

{Cut to a shot of what looks like a plane landing at an airport.}

STRONG BAD: Wow, Zarel!

{Zoom out to see that it was Zarel and Strong Bad playing a video game}

STRONG BAD: I could never land that plane in Plane Lander V: The Redemption!

ZAREL: It's not that hard once you get the hang of it.

STRONG BAD: Woah, what happened to your voice? You sound a lot more...Greg Ellis-y.

ZAREL: I guess it's one of the side effects from not having updated your email show in a while.

STRONG BAD: I wonder if it'll happen to me, too. A voice like that is an irregular chick magnet!

ZAREL: Speaking of...mind if I dabble in a little Compé action?

STRONG BAD: I'm sorry, man, but we're unsure if the Compé still works after almost three years of not checking emails. That Twitter feed didn't reveal anything on its working status!

ZAREL: ...There is just no fourth wall for you, is there?

{Cut to The Cheat's room}

ZAREL: Hey there, furball, I'mma need to use your computer. It's been two years and I need to get back on this gravy boat.

THE CHEAT: {Annoyed Cheat noises}

{The Cheat lets Zarel on the Monosodium Dreams}

ZAREL: Alright! Time to hit the Intesive Email Unit!

subj: Movies

Mr. Lewis,
Lets say a movie were to be made, with you in the leading role. What kind of movie would it be?
Curious,

Marissa

{Zarel extends the "iss" in "Marissa"}

ZAREL: {typing} Don't you remember my star role in Head Chopper II: The Movie? That movie was the cat's knees and the bee's pajama tops! Okay, that didn't really exist. But what does exist is this independent crossover film coming soon that I am so totally going to apply for! I just don't know what it is yet, but I'm doing it anyway!

{Cut to Strong Sad's room, Zarel is sitting in a chair}

ZAREL: Oh, come on! "city (comma) state 3: a slight nausea and a desire to vomit?" I'll tell you that I'm really feeling the subtitle here!

STRONG SAD: But this is a film of feeling! It invokes and provokes the deep caverns of emotional turmoil inside the hearts of its viewers!

ZAREL: I'm about to invoke and provoke my hand upside the deep caverns of dump in your face!

{Video pause}

ZAREL: So with that, I was banned from any films by Pom Sad Film Corporation, so I decided to go to the next big thing, musicals!

MARZIPAN: {singing while playing Carol} Meat is murder...

{Zarel is banging his head against a post on the Gazebo}

{cut back to the Monosodium Dreams}

ZAREL: {typing} And with that, my musical career was over. That's when I decided to take up my career as a voice actor for Japanese-style animations! Hah, I wish, I got stuck doing voices for that Cheat-brand mish-mash.

{Cut to a Powered By The Cheat rendition of the Field}

PBTC HOMESTAR: {kicks a can which flies everywhere} Oh man, I am so terribly bored.

{Powered By The Cheat versions of The Cheat and Zarel motion tween in}

PBTC HOMESTAR: Oh hello, Mello Yellos.

PBTC ZAREL: There he is. Let's sprinkle these bugs on his face.

{Zarel dumps a bucket of spiders on Homestar's face}

PBTC HOMESTAR: Oh no, there are spiders on my face.

PBTC ZAREL: High five, The Cheat.

{cut back to the Monosodium Dreams}

ZAREL: {typing} So that's my film career, Marissa. Now keep stealing that precious thing!

{The Paper comes down}

{zoom out to see Homeschool holding the wall fragment with the paper taped to it}

HOMESCHOOL WINNER: How long do I have to keep this up?

ZAREL: Until the viewer hits the back button...or some other link.

HOMESCHOOL WINNER: "There is just no fourth wall for you, is there," he says. "Hold that printer up," he says.

Fun Facts

• Zarel refers back to jorbs when he mentions "Head Chopper II: The Movie."
• The Marzipan scene is taken directly from music.
• "city (comma) state" refers back to the sbemail: independent, and its subtitle: "a slight nausea and a desire to vomit" is taken from Lamb To The Slaughter by Roald Dahl.
• "Keep stealing that precious thing" being said to Marissa is a reference to Touhou Project.