Zarel Emails/14

Zarel E-Mail #14

Zarel reminisces on old jobs he's had.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Lady, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, A. Chimendez (voice only, Easter Egg), Strong Mad (Easter Egg), The Cheat (Easter Egg)

Places: Zarel's House, The Great Mound, The Office, Bubs' Concession Stand, Strong Badia (Easter Egg), The Field (Easter Egg)

Transcript

{Cut to Zarel's Room}

ZAREL: {singing} But I'm always true to you, email, in my fashion, and I'm always true to you, girl, in my way!

subj: Jorbs

Dear Zarel, Do you have a job? Where would you want to work? My friend Al works with Bubs apparantly. Maybe you could check that out or something? Sincerely,

Ert +

ZAREL: {typing} Ert plus? Ert plus what? Ert plus two, which would equal two plus Ert? What does that stand for...like, "evolution rate of turnips?" Being emailed by a math equation...weird. {clears screen, resumes} Well, Turnip Man, being only 17 and a half years old I haven't done much. Most young whippersnappers my age get jobs as like...fast food clerks...ice cream parlor clerks...waiters...clerks? But yeah, not the big stuff just yet. But me, oh, me. I was one of the lucky ones to get lots of jobs and get fired from mostly all of them! There was this one time, where I was-

{Cut to the Great Mound, Zarel is wearing a Russian police uniform}

ZAREL: {voiceover} -a security guard at the Great Mound...

ZAREL: {monotone} Welcome to the Great Mound, quite possibly bigger than that one in Ohio.

LADY: {offscreen} Oh, I think the Serpent Mound is bigg-

ZAREL: {monotone} Shut up, lady.

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: {typing} Yeah, I got fired when Strong Bad tried to bury Strong Sad on top of it in hopes of sacrificing him to Greek goddesses so that they may take Strong Bad up on their...thunder chariot or whatever for his sacrifice. Turns out the hole that was left unfilled made the mound one millimeter shorter than that darn mound in Ohio. Boss was all over me on that one. Oh, wait! I used to work in The Office once!

{Cut to the Office, Zarel is typing on a computer, wearing the same style of clothing Strong Bad's office outfit}

STRONG BAD: Hey! You know biting styles is against several of the Big Cheese's policies!

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: {typing} Well, excuuuuuse me, luchadorè! I didn't know it wasn't Wear the Same Clothing as Another Employee Day, or WSCAED {pronounced Wis-cade} for short! Besides it was the only shirt I have that's work-appropriate! Anything not polo or not with a floppy disk on it is strictly forbidden at that place! Makes me wonder...why come Pom Pom's not fired yet?! He doesn't wear anything!

{Zoom out to show Homestar standing next to Zarel}

HOMESTAR: Actually, Pom Pom wears an orange polo stripe over his normal orange one. I must say it suits him well.

ZAREL: You. Out. Now.

{Homestar leaves. Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: {typing} So let's see here...fired at the Mound, fired at the Office, OOH! Fired out of a cannon! That's another job I was fired from! Okay, so maybe that's not a job...Oh, there was that one time I worked as one of the Rotating Guest Bubs roles when Original Bubs was gone!

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, Zarel is donning an orange shirt with a jagged green stripe}

ZAREL: Hey, Homestar! I can see you from here!

HOMESTAR: That's some good eye there, Dragon Bubs!

ZAREL: Y'know...makes me wonder, was there ever an original Homestar?

HOMESTAR: I gotta tell you, Trogdor Bubs. I'm the original!

ZAREL: True...true...

{Another Homestar pops up from behind the stand}

2ND HOMESTAR: You've got it wrong! I'm the original Homestar!

ZAREL: Uh oh.

HOMESTAR: Get back to the 23rd Main Page, whitey! Spyro Bubs tells me I'm the original!

{The two Homestars start fighting and a cartoony fight-cloud appears}

ZAREL: Um...

{Cut back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: {typing} Actually...I didn't get fired from that one. I quit that one because I personally couldn't stomach seeing double. So anyways, Pus-tooth Paul, those are all the jobs I got fired from! Speaking of jobs, I just recently got an offer to play an extra in Head Chopper 2: The MOVIE! But why such a stud like myself? It's because my decapitation is the only one that doesn't have to be staged! And speaking of fired...I'mma see if Strong Mad's ready with my ride to Hollywood yet. See ya next time!

{Zarel leaves, The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on "double" for a scene. (Easter Egg 1)
• At the end, click on "Head Chopper 2: The MOVIE" for another scene. (Easter Egg 2)
• At the end, click on "fired" for a third scene. (Easter Egg 3)

Easter Egg 1 Transcript

{Cut back to the Great Mound, Zarel is in the same uniform. Pan to see Homestar in the same uniform standing next to him.}

HOMESTAR: Well, Original Bubs, who is totally behind that large mound...

Easter Egg 2 Transcript

{Cut to Strong Badia, Zarel is standing there with his hand over his heart}

ZAREL: {singing} Population...tiiiiiiiiiiiire-

{Zarel is hit with a brick, knocking his head off.}

A. CHIMENDEZ: Cut!

Easter Egg 3 Transcript

{Cut to the Field, Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing next to a cannon, with Zarel in it}

ZAREL: You sure this is safe?

THE CHEAT: Meh. {holds up a lit match}

Fun Facts

• The email opener is a play on "Always True To You, Darling, In My Fashion" from the Broadway Musical, Kiss Me, Kate.
• This is another instance of the Lady.
• This is also another instance of Zarel's house being broken into.
• Rotating Guest Bubs refers to sbemail: original.
• Zarel's line after the Biz Caz Fri scene refers to the animated Legend Of Zelda cartoon, where Link was most famous for saying "Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess!"
• Head Chopper 2 is one of the banned video games Strong Bad found in sbemail: slumber party.
• Homestar tells the other Homestar to go back to Main Page 23, where there were 2 Homestars in it at the same time.
• "Spyro Bubs" refers to Spyro the Dragon, a video game character.