RiffText/Wikihood1/Ep 7

{Cut to Count X's house. Count X, The 386 and Strong Sader are there.}

COUNT X: See ya. I'll be back at "Execute Order X6".

NOXIGAR: Okay, I know which episode to expect Count X. It was decent of him to inform his cowriters of when he'd be back to write for Wikihood, at least.

{Count X disappears. Many pop-ups opens, each one has Eric beatboxing}

THE CODE: {His mouth is offset} Crap. Now the system really is screwed up good.

THE 386: WHO CARES?! I'm just a crazy old man!

ERIC: Oh, man! It's teh

{Noxigar flinches at the wanton use of "teh"}

Sweet Cupin'

NOXIGAR: It's "Cuppin'" Cakes to you

Cakes!!!!!!!!111111oneoneone

NOXIGAR: Changing exclamation points to 1's and ones has never been, nor will it ever be, funny.

{The 386 smacks Eric, who regains his memory}

THE 386: Pull yourself together, man.

ERIC: {Monotone} Ow. {Falls on the floor unconscious}

THE CODE: {His color changes every half-second. His mouth is on the floor, but it still moves} I'm a squeaky guy!

NOXIGAR: Already, we can keenly observe that some of the lines are padding.

{Suddenly everything and everyone becomes glitched}

THE 386: Aw, crap! Everything's screwed up again! Someone return us to normal!

{Your favorite magic circle appers and Pieinbubsface steps out}

PIEINBUBSFACE: Glich be gone. {Nothing happens} Awww crap.

{The 386 punches Pieinbubsface offscreen}

THE 386: Forget you.

{Another Eric comes down slowly being hovered by a jetpack}

NOXIGAR: Ugh, no. One Eric was enough. Please, don't actually clone multiple Erics.

OTHER ERIC: {Has a british accent} Haldo, minor characters. I come from the future, where my great great great grandfather Eric exited from this horrible universe.

NOXIGAR: Good god, I can smell the Dragonball Z reference already. And it's a foul stench if ever there was one.

BASSIUM!: {The fart sound happens and he magically appears.} Oh what? Where am I... I knew I shouldn't of

NOXIGAR: shouldn't have

pushed the red button! Gah! {He begins to punch his face} stupid stupid stupid!

OTHER ERIC: Wait, are you Bassuim! ? My great great great grandfather talked to me about you. Anyways, my name is Derek, I came from the future to save you guys and my... {Looks at Eric lying on the floor} ...Great great great grandfather.

{The King Of All Cosmos appears}

NOXIGAR: OH GOD NO WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DRAG KATAMARI DAMACY INTO THIS?! I MEAN IT WASN'T EVEN A GOOD GAME, IT JUST HAD A BUNCH OF LOLRANDOM SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BASSIUM!: Wahg?! I've nevor been to the future, {In english accent}

NOXIGAR: Apparently proper English isn't in the curriculum of schools in the future.

but I heard it's a marvelous place, yes indeed it should be. {In pirate voice} Argh my maties where be some chocolate milk {Back in english voice} Where I may take pleasure in drinking?

NOXIGAR: Was that a Majora's Mask reference? I'd probably have spotted it in less than 10 seconds if not for the fact I don't play Legend of Zelda games and don't actually ever plan to play them.

{Conchris comes on screen}

CONCHRIS: Hi everyone. {looks around} What the crap is happening here?

DEREK: Stuff.

CONCHRIS: What kind of stuff?

DEREK: Crazy stuffy stuff.

NOXIGAR: Ah, so the most predictable of all stuff.

Now lets just get outta here.

STRONG SADER: Is anyone even remotely suspicious of this evil lair that appeared over night?

{Camera pans to show a generic evil lair. Lightening strikes, it happens to be the plaet

NOXIGAR: There is honestly no excuse for them to misspell planet of all things, especially since they can get legitimately complex words down pat without a thought.

of Hypori and General Grevious has Techno strapped to a rock.}

TECHNO: You'll never take me alive! {struggles, Grevious takes out three lightsabers.} But, you will dead!

NOXIGAR: Why doesn't General Grievous get any lines?

STRONG SADER: If only I had a physical presence, I could do something.

TECHNO: {Grevious pull an arm slowly back}

NOXIGAR: I didn't know random action within the script could be badly articulated as dialogue.

The 386, branish your energy sword, Count X, use you scythe, Eric, beatbox {rimshot}, anybody?

COUNT X: {offscreen} I'M BANNED!

NOXIGAR: It is known, Khaleesi.

BASSIUM!: {In english voice} Now you listen here Grevious I have the right mind to slap you you.

NOXIGAR: And I have the right mind to make fun of you you.

{He takes off one of his gloves stick a brick in it and smacks grevious.} Now for chocolate milk!

GENERAL GREVIOUS: Umm… Ouch?

STRONG SADER: {Eating a bag of paranormal popcorn.} Now this is entertainment!

{Bassium! unties Techno and Techno pulls out his lightsaber, Bass shoots lasers at Grevious and he pulls out several lightsabers It turns into The Battle of Hypori replaced with Techno, Bass, Strong Sader and Eric.}

STRONG SADER: W00T!!!1 {Turns into a ASCII art rendering.} {Weird garbled noise.}

ERIC: {Beatboxes}

THE CODE: {Break-dances}

DEREK: {Confused}

{Darrek runs toward Grievous and he gets stomped on, Eric runs toward Grievous and Grievous stomps him, you run toward him and he grabs you and does a backflip, letting you two go, Bass and Eric are left, Grievous kicks Bass to the wall, Bass gets up, Techno is just barely holding on, he tells Bass to get out, He gets cut and thrown to the wall, Bass charges toward Grievous in rage to avenge, and Eric clones come up, Grievous cuts them and backup comes, they stare at each other for a few seconds and the backup shoots, Grievous runs up the wall and Bass goes onto the ship (The backup), He says they must pursue, but the Eric commander says that if they do the survivors will die. There are wounded Strong Sader and Techno. The commander explains that the rest are dead, Grievous takes a weapon and he is watching the ship flying away. Cut back to the ship.}

NOXIGAR: While the action continues to never stop, I shall proceed to name a Wikihood character "Darrek" if only because that grammar mistake is funny enough to warrant a name for a minor character.

STRONG SADER: {Still an ASCII, but with a Greggo for an arm.} {Eric's voice} I found you!

BASSIUM!: {He begins to charge while talking.} Man freakin' bad guys gotta make an RPG out of everything!

CONCHRIS: {fires a freeze ray into the air for no reason} I'll just stand here, and wait, until I'm needed.

BASSIUM!: {Suddenly a frozen cloud lands on Bassium!} Ow...

STRONG SADER: JIB! JIB! JIB! JIB! JIB! JIB! {Conchris turns into a stack of VHS tapes.}

NOXIGAR: And the Chooms thought Green Grass and High Tides Forever was bad...

CONCHRIS: {topples over and mysteriously returns to normal} That was weird. Wait... {fires a freeze ray and a frozen bird lands on top of him} Ow. At least I'm injured enough to not move.

{Conchris' arm turns to whatsit, and melts off. Strong Sader flys around, leaving a ghost trail behind him.}

CONCHRIS: Mumble Grumble. {gets up, using his only arm} Sheesh, why does random things keep happ-

{Conchris' head explodes, he comes back on-screen}

CONCHRIS: Oh sure, make my head explode why don't you, you transcripting guy!?

ERIC CLONE: {Spinning so fast hat you almost can't view him. His voice echoes due to the velocity} I don't feel good...

STRONG SADER: {Floats past} {Coach Z's voice} With Conchris' belly button we can win the moo!

ERIC CLONE: {His body is made out of random sprites, but his head still the same} I'm the -0 guy!

CONCHRIS: {arms explode} Great! Just great... Well, at least it wasn't my head, again. What am I doing here anyway?

STRONG SADER: {Singing to the cheat's beats from Pop-up.} I had a dream that my friend had a Marzipan crap-up Ekul! It was the Stotheb of my Ericvieb!

CONCHRIS: {arms regenerate} Where are we going? Pinkland? Greyland? WhyamIusingcolorsformadeupplacesland?

NOXIGAR: THE ACTION NEVER STOPS

BATMAN STYLE NARRATOR: Will everyone stop doing random crap? Will Strong Sader stop remaking old SBemail quotes? Will Conchris' body parts stop exploding? Find out next time in the next crap-citing episode of... Wikihood! Same Wiki time! Same Wiki channel!

COUNT X: WHAT CHANNEL?

{Credits}

NOXIGAR: The channel that doesn't exist. I honestly wish my childhood had a stock market channel for which I could be loaded from stock brokering.