RiffText/Wikihood1/Ep 6

Transcript

{ooc: Please do not alter the plot, or spoil it. You can, post dialogue that won't do anything to ruin the plot, spoil the plot, or show the new characters. To the people at home, it includes Star Wars Characters. Erm…}

NOXIGAR: All the ham-fisted Star Wars references do is remind me why I don't like Star Wars all that much.

{Cut to black.}

COUNT X: {narrating} Life, Death. It all means nothing to me.

NOXIGAR: <insert generic nihilism quote here>

I'm a cyborg. But it does to a couple hundred wiki users.

{Count X slinks from the darkness.}

COUNT X: The wiki fights, so we all fight... And... he returns.

{A split-second shot of this gigantic cyborg with an alien head appears (NOT Grievous), then cut back to Count X.}

COUNT X: Expect guest stars.

{A split-second shot of Phil, then General Grievous, then Palpatine/Sidious, then Wat Tambor, then some users, then Yoda.}

COUNT X: And Techno and The 386 haven't agreed on it. {laughs}

NOXIGAR: Good to see Count X is totally not abusing his authority by not creatively consulting other people when making the references he makes.

{A blast of energy zaps Count X reducing him to dust. Techno walks onscreen.}

TECHNO: {ooc: Only for purpouse of preview.(PoP)} Sorry Count X, you'll have to wait.

{Cut to the Field.}

COUNT X: Now to the show! I hope I fight a fellow user of Wikihood.

NOXIGAR: This sudden bloodlust doesn't have an explanation to it, so pardon me if I'm confused by it.

STRONG SADER: {An angel} Hey guys.

THE 386: Alright you, give it back. Now.

STRONG SADER: I forgive you for killing me 386.

NOXIGAR: Arr, me 386 was replaceable at Best Buy!

THE 386: What? I didn't kill you!

???: Rehh!

STRONG SADER: Well... I guess I forgive you for chasing me and then strangling me.

THE 386: Aw, crap. Why did I do that?

STRONG SADER: Do you think I should find a way to come back to life, or stay like this?

THE 386: The first one. I'm going for it.

{Aussie walks in, holding a phaser pistol.}

NOXIGAR: "You have abused my goodwill for the last time, Count X!"
{Noxigar pretends he's Aussie Evil and blocking Count X indefinitely}

STRONG SADER: OK. Seeing as how I can't pick up anything, you'll have to build a machine to bring me back to life. (In my timezone it's 10 PM so I have to go now.)

NOXIGAR: I keep forgetting most people who would wrote this crap, whenever they wrote it, had strict bedtimes.

ERIC: So what about we build- {Shuts down}

ERIC: {His head pops from screen top} Oh great. Another robot of mine.

THE 386: Hey, man. Have you seen The Code? I can't find him anywhere. You?

{The code pops from Eric's ear}

ERIC: {Bonus stage-ish} Yay! I found you!

THE CODE: Meh.

COUNT X: TECHNO!!!!

{Aussie phasers Eric}

AUSSIE: Bonus Stage Is dead!

NOXIGAR: As much as reinforcing this lovely little fact would be fun, I do think Aussie Evil's taking this a little too far.

COUNT X: Die, fools.

{Count X starts to beat everyone with ease. Before The 386 can wield his energy blade?, Count X punches him. As for The Code and Eric, Count X slices him. For Strong Sader, he blasts him with dark energy, "temporarily" making him evil. For AE, Count X knocks the phaser of AE, and cuts off one of his arm.. After the smoke clears, Count X is standing.}

COUNT X: WHERE'S TECHNO?

NOXIGAR: Asked Count X, the only person who actually cared about Technochocolate in Wikihood.

STRONG SADER: {Demon} My soul is filled with evil crap!

{Strong Sader possesses Count X, and makes him chop himself in half}

STRONG SADER: {Manical laughter}

{Evil wears off}

STRONG SADER: Huh?

{Looks on to see everyone dead.}

STRONG SADER: Oh... my... GOD!

NOXIGAR: So, is he in Angel forme or is he just back to normal?

ERIC: {Offscreen} Crap! Stop making robots that look-a-like me!

THE CODE: Ditto.

STRONG SADER: Hello? Everyone's dead! What do we do!?!

ERIC: {Enters onscreen} I dunno. I could just reboot the virtual reality terminal but it is completly destroyed since episode 3!!!

NOXIGAR: When something's completely destroyed, and when Aussie Evil's taken matters into his own hands as far as trying to cut down the Bonus Stage referencces is concerned...

STRONG SADER: I might be able to fix all of this, but you'll have to build that machine to bring me back to life.

ERIC: Yeah, like I can make a 486 virtual reality machine terminal from nowhere. But wait. The Code, did you bring your laptop?

THE CODE: Yes.

ERIC: Cool.

THE CODE: But I lost it on episode 2.

NOXIGAR: "Let's awkwardly shoehorn as much continuity as we can, even though we plainly disregarded it for several episodes in a row!"

ERIC: Uncool.

STRONG SADER: This is stupid. Why don't we just die? Well I am already.

ERIC: I can't. I'm the only alive here, if I die, there will be no more Wikihood.

NOXIGAR: That's horribly egotistical of you to say.

Crap, I'm going to starve here! {Kicks darkness wall}

{Wall breaks showing the Binary Universe. Eric falls but is holding at the floor}

ERIC: AAAAHH!!! HELP ME!!!

NOXIGAR: "AAAAHH! I'M THE ONLY PERSON ALIVE! HELP ME!!!"

{Strong Sader flies down to catch him. He gets in front of him and holds out his hands to catch him, but he he falls through them.}

STRONG SADER: Crap. I forgot I don't have physical presence.

ERIC: The Code! You're my only hope!

NOXIGAR: "Awkwardly shoehorned Star Wars references! You're my only hope!"

THE CODE: {Offscreen} Not anymore.

{Pan down to see The Code hanging on Eric's foot}

{The Code is using his feet to hold on to the ledge, just then a ninja comes and slices off the Code's legs. They both fall.}

ERIC: Wait, how can The Code have feet if he's a The CheaaaaAAAAHHH!!!

{Eric hits a one on the Binary Universe and faints}

NOXIGAR: Well there goes a reference over my head, without any explanation to it whatsoever.

{Strong Sader Possesses Eric.}

STRONG SADER: Don't worry, I'll get you out of here.

ERIC: What are you doing in my head? {OOC: I'm not your character, please don't talk as me next time.}

{The floor where they were disappears}

ERIC: Yayness. This universe will soon explode itself. {Strong Sader flies off as Eric} We need to revertaAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

{Eric and Strong Sader fuse completely (Not permanently though.) to form Strong Eric. Though Strong Sader and Eric's minds are still separate.}

ERIC: As I was saying, we need to revert this or we can just die with the explosion. But first, how did we get on this universe? Why can't we leave? And why the virtual reality didn't shut down if the terminal is destroyed?

STRONG SADER: The terminals computer matrix is seeping into the univerce and creating a binary world. If the core program has leaked out we may be able to hack into it, and shut down the terminal.

ERIC: How? We don't have a terminal, not even a computer.

STRONG SADER: That's not strictly true. You see when I moved in I found it and fixed it, then I noticed the binary leaking out so I covered it up unsuccessfully. Now it's infected everything.

ERIC: The Binary Universe is not exactly an infectionious thing.

NOXIGAR: No, an infectionious thing would be something like your grammar.

But show me where is the terminal and I might can shut down the server.

STRONG SADER: It's in my garage, I'll get Gilbert to keep watch on it in the mean time.

{Gets out a small walkie talkie and phones an orange the Cheat.}

STRONG SADER: {Over Walkie Talkie} Gilbert. Keep watch over the computer thing I found.

NOXIGAR: Hmph. I can't seriously believe that all these people want to do is find the computer room.

GILBERT: Right!

ERIC: How can it be in your garage if we're trapped on a semi-shutted down virtual reality that doesn't works?

STRONG SADER: It fell through a time warp thingy.

NOXIGAR: Time warp thingies sure suck, don't they?

ERIC: Okay... And why we aren't there yet?

{Pan left to see another Eric on the background}

ANOTHER ERIC: {Another The Code pops from his ear} Yay! I found you!

{Pan back}

ERIC: I hate glitches. Glitches. Glitches. Glit-Bzzzt. {His hair becomes orange} I'm a squeaky guy!

STRONG SADER: There's my house! {Camera pans to reveal a house.}

ERIC: {His image is completly messed up} Applauses for DJ Eric! {Beatboxes}

{Ariving at the house.}

{Strong Sader seperates from Eric. As a side-effect, he is alive again.}

ERIC: {Still beatboxing,but his mouth doesn't moves anymore. His arms moves as on Dancin' Bubs}

STRONG SADER: I must save Eric!

{Picks up wrench.}

STRONG SADER: Die evil computer!

NOXIGAR: Wait they're actually at the computer room that fast? That buildup must've flown over my head.

{Stabs the computer. He is electrocuted and then explodes, dying, but also destroys the terminal in the process.}

ERIC: {Becomes normal} Look at what you did! You destroyed our last chance to escape! {Glitched again} BECAUSE IT'S MIDNITE!

STRONG SADER: {An angel again} On the contrary! The terminal has turned into a warp hole! {Steps into the warp and returns home.}

NOXIGAR: It's like all of these problems have immediate solutions, which are just shoved in without any explanation as to what's going on at all.

ERIC: {Stops beatboxing, his mouth still doesnt move} Looks like I'm gonna hafta jump! {Flies into the warp hole}

{They fall through a swirling vortex.}

STRONG SADER: {Screams}

{Pan to see 1,000,000 Eric's}

1,000,000 ERIC'S: {The Code pops from each Eric's ear} {Echoed} Yay, I found you!

NOXIGAR: This wouldn't be the first thing to try and force a running joke. Nope.

{Cut to Strong Sader in bed.}

STRONG SADER: {Screams} What a horrible dr-dr-dr {Film snaps.}

{White screen. Strong Sader is standing in the middle.}

STRONG SADER: I think you'll find that reality is on the blink again.

NOXIGAR: When is reality not on the blink?

ERIC: {Pops from screen top, then does a short beatboxing}

TECHNO: I'll be back!

{Credits start to play, but a record scratches and etheral music plays while Count X is speaking.}

COUNT X: This series is confused and insane. And that is why I hate people that try to kill me... in the ff... not for real. The admins that didn't shut us down are stupid. {OOC: NOT TRUE!}

NOXIGAR: This must be when Super Sam did the universe a favour and moved this from the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki to the Wiki User Wiki that first time they mentioned. Everything is starting to make a small inkling of sense for once, and it's entirely because I had to put two-and-two together.

HOMESTAR: {scared} Don't bad-mouth the network, X-y boy.

COUNT X: Or what? They'll ban me?

{A red stamp covers the screen reading: "Due to Count X bad-mouthing the network (admins/sysops), Count X is on a temporary ban. In spite of this, Count X will not appear in some of Season 2. But the episode names are up to him, Techno and The 386. Also, "tempor" admins will be availible. The newest "t" admin is SS-er. (for now) Have a great 2nd season!" The Paper comes down.}

NOXIGAR: I kind of wish Techno and The 386 exhibited more authority, so every little problem within Season 1's inability to have a solid plot doesn't seem like it's entirely Count X's fault.

Talk

{Noxigar sighs.}
NOXIGAR: 16 more to go, I think?