RiffText/Wikihood1/Ep 2

Synopsis

Bla, bla.

Transcript

{Cut to the Field. Count X is insane and is ripping apart the screen. Pan out to see that everyone is watching.}

THE 386: Please stop! You've no idea what you're doing!

NOXIGAR: You don't have the slightest idea either. Speak for yourself!

HOMESTAR: Man, you are nuts.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, sure are. I'ma hit you too!

{Strong Bad hits Homestar.}

THE VOICE: {from TV} Greeting's one and all! After the success of messing with those other cretins, I have incorporated a new plan. To take over wiki users.

COUNT X: I-

STRONG MAD: HEY TREVOR!

COUNT X: He's on the Field.

{Cut to the Field, Trevor is standing there, and a lady is staring at him lovingly. Cut back to the screen. OOC: Who is the lady? The Voice is an NPC.}

NOXIGAR: I like how it just casually details something irrelevant and then an OOC question pops up.

COUNT X: You're an admin... of this show, 386.

THE 386: You forgot The 386. Pieinbubsface, we need to find a way through here.

ERIC: Whatever. I know what to do while we're stuck here. {Points to RuleBreaker}

RuleBreaker: I'm not breaking any HRFWiki rules! I AM NOT!!'

NOXIGAR: Wait. Why is RuleBreaker's name not bolded?

ERIC: Yeah, shut up. {Pummels RuleBreaker very hard}

BUBS: {Holding up sign that says: "Several Pummelings $5"} That'll be 5 dollars.

{The 386's cellphone rings}

THE 386: Yes?

{Pan over to see Count X talking on his cellphone.}

COUNT X: Yeah... pepperoni... 4... hold the mayo.

NOXIGAR: By the time you've spent casually ordering pizza, the plot could've actually moved along.

THE 386: Kay, Bubs, make this quick! We've got pepperoni pizza being ordered, four slices, no mayo! Make it quick or you're fired!

{he hangs up}

BUBS: Coming right up!

{10 minutes later...}

BUBS: Heres the pizza! {Hands pizza to The 386}

THE CODE: {Falls on pizza from a very high height} Aw, nuts. I better get... going... place... PEOOOW!! {Runs away very quick}

THE 386: More like, prreeow! {OOC: this line was taken from one of the sbemails}

NOXIGAR: Why can't lines not be taken wholesale from Strong Bad Emails? I'm glad Wikihood Redux didn't have this problem.

Is the pizza intact?

BUBS: Yes, it is!

{all of a sudden, the lady metioned before walks up to Trevor}

{almost now, it cuts back to The 386, NachoMan and Count X, just standing there}

NACHOMAN: What's so great about Trevor? He's a floating brain in the future. He's ugly. Why aren't the ladies flocking to me?

NOXIGAR: You're a sociopath

{The 386's phone rings}

THE 386: Hello?

{Pieinbubsface jumps in with a sword and cape and is about to gut Bubs when he decides it is inappropiat}

PIEINBUBSFACE: {Quoteing Stux} Wazzup?

{Simaltainiously hits Eric with sword.}

{Noxigar sighs}
NOXIGAR: The episode quality is only marginally better compared to the previous episode. That said, it's still rife with grammar errors galore, such that I really don't want to have to correct them all because I know they're going to get repeated over and over.

{instantly The 386 hangs up and brandishes his energy sword}

THE 386: You can't kill Eric, nor can you cheat death!

ERIC: {Unfreezes} Hey, I'm back. {Pause} OW! {Falls on the floor, bleeding}

PIEINBUBSFACE: Wait, how did I hurt Erik? I onlt hit him.

ERIC: {Enters onscreen, dead body still on the floor, like in some Bonus Stage episodes} MY NAME IS ERIC! NOT ERIK! D1333!!!! {Cut so a super action-ish scene where Eric throws a paper at Pieinbubsface's neck. His neck eventually bleeds.}

PIEINBUBSFACE: {cut back to normal} sorry, a unamed user on fanstuff has a name spelled Erik so I know that guy better and how can you even tell how stuff is spelled? (I mean you can't spellcheck spoken words.)

ERIC: Yeah but yous neck still bledding.

{Ghostbusters theme song starts to play}

ERIC: {Answering to phone} Hullo?

BUBSTY: {On phone} 'Sup I'm back! And in other news, I'm the "unamed user on fanstuff". I think. I mean, my name is Erik.

{Suddenly gets a heart attack}

BUBSTY: D'oh!

{Dies and hangs up}

HOMESTAR: I wike marshmellows!

NOXIGAR: Somehow I get the feeling that Homestar's lines are the best Wikihood 1 can do.

{Bubsty comes in from the left of the screen, with a giant hole in his chest and blood pouring out}

BUBSTY: Look man, if you don't have anything original to say, don't say anything at all. Also I'm the real Joel. I mean, I didn't die.

{Strong Sad enters from the left}

STRONG SAD: You're the coolest guy ever Bubsty!

NOXIGAR: Said Strong Sad, possessed by someone who didn't know how to write Strong Sad properly.

BUBSTY: You know I hate you right?

{Aussie Evil rezzes in}

AUSSIE: Well, it seems that this world has boundaries. {the screen pans over to reveal Techno.} Oh, Techno how long have you been standing there?

TECHNO: I don't know, about the whole time.

{Aussie's Cellphone plays "Oh Yeah" by Yello}

NOXIGAR: At least there's context for the hamfisted references this time around, so that I don't have to play guessing games with the song titles.

AUSSIE: Hang on.

THE 386: Can't you explain this?

BUBSTY: Yes. Long story: Chapter 1. Scene 1. Cut to a big house. Lightning crackles. A man with a black cloak walks in.

STRONG SAD: Shut up!

BUBSTY: Ok. Short story: Your mom.

{The 386 suddenly punches Strong Sad in his stomach}

THE 386: More like, you shut up!

COUNT X: CYOBRG! CYBORG! NOT MAN! OR ROBOT! CYBORG/SKELETON!

THE 386: He's actually real, for the last freakin' time!

NOXIGAR: This all should've been OOC, but it wasn't. And now I have difficulty comprehending what's going on outside of everyone bickering around like idiots.

ERIC: We better get going in my car.

DAVE DUDE: You don't have a car.

ERIC: Yes I do! I bought it. And you can drive it. It's very expensive.

{Cut to somewhere else with a box}

DAVE DUDE: It's a cardboard box.

ERIC: Duuh! It's a transformer!

DAVE DUDE: CRAP! STOP BONUS STAGE REFERENCES!

NOXIGAR: Dave Dude has the right idea. Unfortunately, said idea will be disregarded not long after.

THE 386: AAUGH! STOP ALL OF THAT! PLEASE! {chokes} Okay, I'll stop yelling!

{Aussie rises out of the ground}

AUSSIE: They cancelled my magazine subscriptions.

THE 386: They have no idea what they are doing! That is crappy.

FUTURE DAVE DUDE: AAAAH!! STOP MAKING THIS... Thing? Whatever. {Kills present day Dave Dude and disappears}

ERIC: Ooooookaaayy.... So?

{cut to The 386 in a new room, with one of the Yoshis in there. he's reasoning with the Yoshi}

NOXIGAR: {And the Yoshis grew happier.}

THE 386: You swindler! I demand that you give him a new car, not all this low-tech! That's not improved! That's... err... de-proved. {OOC: Yoshi is an NPC}

{Cut to other room, Eric is standing on a chair with a rope around his neck}

{old Bonus Stage intro cues, with the main characters replacing the Bonus Stage ones}

TECHNO: {jumps up and kicks the Yoshi} Ahhh! That's me! Die Compy-man! Wait, what am I talking about? {pan out to see the rest of his room, empty}

ERIC: {Enters onscreen, has a helmet} I'm Keen, Eyebrow Raiser.

THE 386: Oh, no, he's gonna cry!

{the Yoshi does start crying}

ERIC/KEEN: You owe me 2 bucks.

THE 386: Aww, crap!

ERIC: So, are we really destinated to die in episode 87? Why not 88? It sound more... like.. 88. {OOC: I heard that some rich fan guy is going to pay matt to continue making BS, at least until episode 100.}

NOXIGAR: No amount of money in the world would help Bonus Stage survive. Matt Wilson hated his own fanbase, and with good reason.

THE 386: So, we're parodying Bonus Stage? It isn't a good idea.

NOXIGAR: Referencing does not equal parodying. Parodying Bonus Stage would be akin to taking the bad idea that its premise was, changing a lot of the characterizations around for the purposes of some semblance of originality, and then proceeding to subvert whatever common literary techniques are used in Bonus Stage. Wikihood 1's Bonus Stage shenanigans don't do any of the aforementioned.

ERIC: {Joel flashes for a second replacing Eric} Oh, sorry.

THE 386: GET OVER HERE! {he sends his grabbo arm off screen. OOC: the "get over here" is from "Mortal Kombat".}

NOXIGAR: A "Fun Facts" page might have been helpful with every painfully-obvious reference you guys made.

ERIC: {Very bored voice tone} The pipes are broken. {Throws a dime on a zombie that falls on the floor}

ZOMBIE: Uhnhghh... Dead.

THE VOICE: The 386 {mortal kombat voice} wins... fatality.

PIEINBUBSFACE: {Mixes some chemicals, there is a boom.} Aa ha ha ha, now all bouns stage references will randomly be replaced by 20X6 guys.

THE 386: {offscreen} GET OVER HERE!

20X6 JOEL: {Stinkoman's voice} I bought a car!

THE 386: That's a box!

{a fight of mortal kombat starts}

MORTAL KOMBAT: Round 1... FIGHT!

{The 386 brandishes his energy sword, and makes the first move, dealing a ton of damage}

MORTAL KOMBAT: Finish him!

{dramatic music}

THE 386: YEEEAAAHH!

{he hits Joel}

MORTAL KOMBAT: The 386 wins... fatality. Again?

ERIC: Whatever. {Throws a coin at nowhere} Aw, nuts. I'm out of coins.

THE 386: Now to find Pieinbubsface.

ERIC: I want to do something more... Unboreable-ish. Like prank calls. Or being on TV.

NOXIGAR: I wish Bell Quest was still on the Wiki User Wiki, so I could read it instead of this garbage.

{Pan to the left to show Joel And Phil}

JOEL/PHIL: {Simultaneously} We're going be on TV! We're going be on TV! {OOC: Watch episode 77}

NOXIGAR: I also wish Green Grass and High Tides Forever was remastered, so I could watch that over Wikihood 1 anyday.

THE 386: {interrupting} COME HERE!

{he pulls Phil toward him}

JOEL: It's now time for... {Gets pixelated} JOEL'S ADVENTURE 2!

PHIL: {Offscreen} Shut up! I already said that your game is total crap!

JOEL: {Still pixelated} Not as crap as Phil's Journey.

NOXIGAR: They were both shitty games that played terribly. I don't see the point in arguing which one was worse.

THE 386: COME HERE! {he pulls Joel offscreen}

{Aussie puts on a Starfleet combadge and beams away}

COUNT X: {notices someone with gun} That is... MY BOOMSTICK!!!

{The screen rips in two. All dialogue is heard.}

THE VOICE: Brilliant. You wreaked the screen. Then you have ruined the series.

COUNT X: More like... your m- dad.

THE VOICE: My father, has nothing to do with anything.

{A zapping noise is heard and the screen.}

COUNT X: Man, you really do need special plugging-in... erm, ness.

{Creepy etheral music plays as a large shadow creeps across what's left of the screen}'

EVIL: {in 1-Up's voice} Yes it is I, Ev… Oh, crap I hate the {starts going back to Evil's voice} no Bonus Stage, oh wait, that's better. Now, yes, it is I Evil coming to devour you soul and take over the plot!

NOXIGAR: Why would anyone want this plot in the first place?!

{Suddenly Evil turns into Stinkoman}

EVIL: {in Stinkomans voice} Pu puttp Are you asking for a challange?

{END.}

NOXIGAR: I wish I had a riffing companion in order to make sense of this horrid filth.