RiffText/User:Chaosvii7/Battels/Im A Bell

ANNOUUNCER: Here today is the next best thing. Day 2 of the Battel circuit! In the right corner, we have the foreign man from foriegn

LIGHTNING GUY: But you had it spelled correctly three words ago. Three freaking words ago. How do you

lands... Im A Bell! And in the left, Chaos, recovered from yesterdays nights

LIGHTNING GUY: Yesterday nights can be rough on a man.

great Battel against Kanjiro! Who will win the second round? Tune in to find out!

CHAOS: Let me start. {Chaos summons the Devil's Throne and charges red electricity along the palm, then flings him into the air

LIGHTNING GUY: What did the announcer ever do to you?

while the energies of the electrocution still hurt him, then he teleports in back of him and drives him into the ground.}

IM A BELL: Thank you for killing me.

LIGHTNING GUY: This is coming from all of humanity.

NOW MY REAL POWER WILL BE UNLEASHED! Oh, and, Bling, Plan PP!

BEAVIS: Hurr hurr hurr hurr
BUTT-HEAD: He said pee-pee hurr hurr hurr

{Bling appears. He transforms into Professional Patch. Im a bell inverts}

PROFESSIONAL PATCH: SERIOUSNESS!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Quite.

LL E BAMI: Mwa-ha-ha-haaaa!!! You can NEVER defeat the anti-bell duo! Negative Churchbell DEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: I haven't seen that big a deuce since the last time I ate at McDonald's.

{Ll e bami deuces Chaos. A backward chime is heard}

CHAOS: Courtesy of

LIGHTNING GUY: Stolen from

Kanjiro! {Chaos turns into black ash, which wraps around Bami, strangling and chocking him}

LL E BAMI: I am anti!

LIGHTNING GUY: Antisocial!

So, like {yakov smirnoff voice} Soviet Russia,

LIGHTNING GUY: I give up trying to decipher the crap this guy says. You're all on your own.

{normal} I strangle you! Oh, and, Patch, do something... serious... to him.

P. PATCH: FACE MY SERIOUSNESS!!!!!! I'm angry!!!!!!!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: File:ANGERY:PNG

Kopatch fusion!

{P. Patch grows wings and his hair lengthens. Then, thousands of Kopatches attach to him and forms a giant Don Patch Robot}

LIGHTNING GUY: {synthesized} Get your hard drives ready 'cause we're about to do the hobot.

PATCH ROBOT: Sugoi Patchi Mode! Sugoi Patchi Thunder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Remember, these moves only work when you scream their names as loudly as possible.

{Sugoi Patchi summons red button lightning

LIGHTNING GUY: I wonder where that's from.

which electrocutes Ash-Chaos}

CHAOS: {sarcastically} Ouch. That hurt A LOT. {Chaos reforms} you don't wanna get me angry! {Chaos chrages his fist}

LIGHTNING GUY: That sounds painful.

NOVA!!! {Chaos hits LL E BAMI and he is shot back and forth inside a small field and is damaged with each strike}

{Chaos charges his fist with more energy than before}

LL E BAMI & SUGOI PATCHI: Supra Jibney Fusion!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: This is probably going to suck.

{ll and Sugoi Patch fuse into a gigantic optimus prime that has Sugoi Patch's head}

LIGHTNING GUY: This is definitely going to suck.

LL & SP FUSION: WATASHI WA PATCHI MODE!!!!!! DRAGON FIST!!!!!!!!

{Watashi Wa Patchi preforms SS3 Goku's Dragon Fist on Chaos}

LIGHTNING GUY: SS3 Goku's Dragon Fist is a euphemism for oral sex, by the way.

CHAOS: {teleports} you have nothing against me! SUPERNOVA!!! {Chaos preforms an attack like the first nova, except the dome is bigger and LLSP take more damage at a faster rate.} You can't stop my assault. I always hit, and well, I always can find the way around things.

{Chaos constantly teleports too fast for LLSP's swift eyes}

WATASHI WA PATCHI: Semi-Pure form!

LIGHTNING GUY: True, it doesn't totally count as sex.

Components, INVERT!

{Watashi Wa Patchi becomes an all gold optimus prime}

LIGHTNING GUY: That must have been expensive to design.

GOLD OPTIMUS: Semi-Pure Watashi Mode!!!!!! NEAR PERFECT SERIOUS CHURCHBELL DEEEEEUUUUCCCEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

{Semi-pure Watashi deuces Chaos into the sun, casing it to explode and destroy the earth}

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh well. Nobody was using it, anyway.

SEMI-PURE WATASHI: Hello? Look, I'm gonna transform into my final form. COMPONENTS! PURIFY!

LIGHTNING GUY: Sorry, once you pop your cherry, you can never replace it.

{Semi-Pure Watashi transforms into a Golden SS Goku}

GOLDEN GOKU: Now I am Pure Watashi!

LIGHTNING GUY: But I thought he was Goku.

{Chaos snaps his fingers, and the red mist clears,

LIGHTNING GUY: Chaos is so awesome, he can clear red mist without it even forming.

showing a near-dead Gold Goku, kneeling in the center of the stage}

CHAOS: I love that power. Now, then. {Chaos teleports, and uses his third, biggest charge to make the biggest attack by far} AFRONOVA!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Everything's badder with an afro.
LIGHTNING GUY: Appreciate, nigras.

{Gold Goku is shot in every direction, and is damaged more than 100 times the amount of both novas, leaving nothing but the normal Bell.}

IM A BELL: Cough! {sarcastically} Ow, that hurt!

LIGHTNING GUY: I wonder how much this battle actually consists of sincere dialogue.

{normal} You don't get it do you? No matter what you do I only get stronger. The form you see me in now is not Im a bell. In fact...

{Im a bell's head shrinks, his arms, legs, and torso are replaced by the Golden Goku body}

LIGHTNING GUY: Here we go's again.

IM A BELL/GOKU HYBRID: I lied! that form was actually Almost-Pure Watashi! Now, I am Pure Watashi! Purity Destruction.

{Pure Watashi self-destructs. the entire universe is destroyed. leaving behind a white void, Pure Watashi, and Chaos's dead body}

LIGHTNING GUY: You know, when people self-destruct, their selves tend to, well, destruct.

PURE WATASHI: If you would have stopped my self-destruction, the battel would still be on. But, now I must revert to my normal form.

LIGHTNING GUY: Then do it already.

If I don't soon,

LIGHTNING GUY: Then do it already.

my entire being will be

LIGHTNING GUY: Then do it already.

replaced by-

{Pure Watashi implodes and is replaced by a red verion of himself with horns}

LIGHTNING GUY: Hey, it's Bell's regular form.

RED PURE WATASHI: -DEMON BELL!!!!!!! Get up, Chaos, this battel is still on!

LIGHTNING GUY: Please don't.

{Demon Bell brings Chaos back to life}

LIGHTNING GUY: {choking up} This is the first time I ever cried during a movie.

CHAOS: Hold it. Time for a lesson. I NEVER DIE!!!!Never can, never will.

LIGHTNING GUY: Except, you know, that time 5 seconds ago when you were dead.

Now, it's time to show what I can do. {Chaos splits into 5. All perform the zanmato sequence, except all 5 swords transform into a lagrger, black one.} BLACK ZANMATO!!! {The black Zanmato instantly kills demon bell permenantly. He's dead forever. Irrevirsible. End of subject.

LIGHTNING GUY: And two minutes later Bell brings him back through some confusing magical loophole.

Pure Watashi appears from the smoke}

PURE WATASHI: Thank you. I will no longer live in fear of transforming into Demon Bell. This battel is won by you if you wish it. I am going to walk this void for the rest of eternity.

LIGHTNING GUY: Don't worry. He'll keep himself entertained with Pokemon reruns.

Goodbye, kind sir. Oh, and, the next time we meet, I may be ten times as strong as I ever was before.

LIGHTNING GUY: Walking through eternal vacuums really exercises those calf muscles.

{Pure Watashi walks away. 1 million years later, he returns}

LIGHTNING GUY: Man, those years have been awful on his skin.

PURE WATASHI: Look, Chaos, counting this one, we got 6 more lines, and, Cow Puncher, DON'T YOU DARE BUTT INTO THE MIDDLE OF A BATTEL EVER AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?????!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: {rubs his ears} He'd have to be deaf not to heat you.

CHAOS: Let's finish this battel. Just you and me, Bell. I'll even let you give the first hit.

PURE WATASHI: Sure. Final Purity Destruction.

'{Uhh... I dunno, you try to explain it. Long story short, A lot of things are purified}

LIGHTNING GUY: So, it's basically all of your other purity attacks, only with a different name. Creative.

CHAOS: SOUL BANISHER TRANSFORMATION!!! {Chaos transforms into a tall, foggy, scythe-wielding shadow warrior clad in armor}

{Chaos swings his scythe at the pure Watashi. He's shot straight out of the ring, and Chaos returns to normal}

LIGHTNING GUY: They somehow managed to put a ring in an empty void.

CHAOS: Now it's over.

ANNOUNCER: I do not believe it! Chaos just finished off Watashi in one swipe!!! And the winner is CHAOS!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: They somehow managed to put an announcer in an empty void.

CHAOS: At least my win/loss is evened out.

LIGHTNING GUY: At least nobody still cares.

Aftermath

CHAOS: I'm sorry you lost, Bell, or Watashi. Which ever I beat. I want you to have this special pendant, which controls Watashi's Demon bell transformation. I'll give it to you in a userbox ASAP.

LIGHTNING GUY: If I had a choice between a userbox and a cup...

You also get 600 ShadowPoints instead of 300. That was a climactic battel,

LIGHTNING GUY: what

I liked it. Now, I can ready the field for CP's battel soon. Play again and remember, you can compete against Kanjiro in a cup battel! Just let me know that before you do, if so.

IM A BELL: Thank you. Oh, and, I think I lost all of my power on that last attack. Oh wel.

LIGHTNING GUY: It was probably just a typo. Nothing to get worked up about.

AT LEAST I GET TO STOP BEING IN THIS FRICKIN' CALM VOICE! YEEEEHAAW!!!!! I GONNA GO KILL SOME... Not... pigeons...

LIGHTNING GUY: How subtle.

COW: Parsley fruit! I didn't stop you from breaking the Laws Of Physics!

IM A BELL: That is the power of Pure Watashi. I hope X66x66 wil

LIGHTNING GUY: It's alright, it's alright. We all make mistakes.

hurry up and give me a base pic for it. (golden SS goku). Ah well,

LIGHTNING GUY: You know what? Screw it! I tried to be reasonable, but I can't take it anymore! There are two "l"s! Two! Not one! Two! While you're dicking around in summer school, I'm going to be out doing something worthwhile! Peace!

at least I got you to put Parsley Fruit somewhere.

IM A BELL: Grass what? I got images for Almost Pure, Pure, and Demon!!!

CHAOS: I noticed about an hour and a half ago.