RiffText/User:Chaosvii7/Battels/Darkangel2

ANNOUNCER:Today we have the next line of Battel in this neveredning

LIGHTNING GUY: Hey, I have a friend named Neve Red Ning!

GUFFAW: That is a queer name for a friend.

LIGHTNING GUY: Look who's talking.

saga! We have Darkangel, a reality-banding master against all the current members here!That's 4,5,6, and the new 9,or Bell. Who had turned traitor at the last possible minute!

LIGHTNING GUY: Who had turned traitor at the last possible minute?

9: Shut it, you.

4: Don't worry.

GUFFAW: Be happy. Copyright Bobby McFerrin 1988.

5: He's no more a pawn than all of these pathetic humans.

9: Right. {blasts Announcer}

LIGHTNING GUY: FINALLY

4: I ish

LIGHTNING GUY: You very ish.

that stupid reality bending fool were here alrady!

6: Me...too... {Pulls out sword}

GUFFAW: I assume that 6 will off himself in an impatient fit of rage now.

{4 & 5 pull out their weapons as well}

GUFFAW: Oh my. This is quite the suicide pact.

9: Yeah. {transforms into Soul Reaper Mode} Crap, that announcer's still alive. Random-Jibney-Death. Go Away.

{the announcer is pulled to the underworld}

LIGHTNING GUY: Good riddance, you overenthusiastic...over...enthusiast.

4: I'm pretty sure he can't die. Therefore, you're wasting all of your might to prevent the inevitable.

9: I'm not wasting my power! I'm just wastin' my time! {burns announcer} Announcer Burgers, anyone?

GUFFAW: That is not creepy at all.

5: Gonna have to delete this when the battel begins.

LIGHTNING GUY: Tell me when that happens.

{Darkangel walks into the arena, then halts when he looks at Bell}

DARKANGEL: {Looking surprised} BELL?! What the pfargtl are you doing with these crap for brains..ses..? BTW, thanks for saving my life back then. Even though I wasn't really dead. That was a shadow clone.

GUFFAW: Dopple-banger.
LIGHTNING GUY: Screw you.

It was about to dissappear and turn into wood, until YOU showed up! Anyways, back to Bell. Why did you did this?

LIGHTNING GUY: Because he wanted to did this.

I mean, what about the Onion Points? I can make you an instant Onion,

GUFFAW: The best thing about being an onion is that when a dude cuts you, he is the one who ends up crying. See what I did there.

ONLY if you leave these bozos. If not, then prepare for doom. So, what will you choose? OP's and stuff, or the Shadow Boy Scouts?

9: Uhh... {blasts Darkangel} Nah! I'm staying as a ShadowMark with CP.

{Darkangel dissapears in a puff of smoke an a wooden doll resembling a cactus appears there, Darkangel then suddenly appears behind Bell and Darkangel has both of his hands on top of Bell}

LIGHTNING GUY: It's been a while since I made a rape joke. What a shame.

DARKANGEL: Chaos BLAST!

{Suddenly, a huge explosion engulfs the arena. The explosion then is cleared and it reveals a near dieing Im a Bell

GUFFAW: He is apparently impressing, shaping, or cutting with one of various devices for cutting or forming material in a press or a stamping or forging machine.
LIGHTNING GUY: Yeah, or he's just a sucky speller.

and Darkangel is nowhere to be seen. After 3 seconds, Darkangel appears about 6 inches away from Bell and Darkangel moves his hand to where Bell is.}

DARKANGEL: I'll spare your life, Bell. Just so you can still be part of the Onion Points

LIGHTNING GUY: He's gotta pay his bills somehow.

if you regret hanging out with these fools later. GIGA-VOIP!

{Im a Bell suddenly dissapears}

DARKANGEL: {To the rest of the ShadowMarks} Now you're one head short. How's this, you guys give me Chaos, and I'll give you Bell. While you think of it, I'll heal my little-to-none wounds. HEAL! {Darkangel is fully healed} So think about it, Bell's life and you give me Chaos, or death to all of you?

4, 5, and 6: Demonic Crucification!

GUFFAW: I am a computer, therefore I cannot feel, and I am still offended.

{Darkangel is strapped to a crucifix, where all 3 turn into their demon forms.}

BLADE DEMON: Ultimate Zanmato! {preforms Ultimate Zanmato on Darkangel}

LIGHTNING GUY: Good. Original.

ICE DEMON: Superb Ice Death! {Preforms superb Ice Death on Darkangel}

LIGHTNING GUY: Superb!

UNDEAD GOLEM: Dark Ultimate Nova! {Creates purple Supernova and drives it into the heart of Darkangel}

LIGHTNING GUY: A bit graphic, but okay.

ALL DEMONS: FINAL TECHNIQUE! KAISER DRAGON DEATH! {Big, four-armed, grey dragon appears, and ahoots

GUFFAW: That was a hoots.

1000 golden supernovas at Darkangel, and finishing by turning his hands into katanas and sending them into Darkangel's chest}

{Field returns to normal, with nothing but a pile of blood where Darkangel was at}

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, he had his period.

4: Nice try, but we really need Chaos. He's important to ruling the world once and for all! And as for Bell, well, he never really left. {snaps fingers and skeletons open the ground and pull out Bell}

LIGHTNING GUY: I see where Bell came from but what about the skeletons????!!!!!????

6 could've told you that.

9: Hehe... Thanks. I'll remember to reappear next time...

DARKANGEL: {Voiceover} Oh, will you EVER shut up?!

GUFFAW: Now you know how we feel every f{bzzt}ing second.

{Darkangel suddenly appears from a dar corner in the arena, the pile of blood then turns yellow}

LIGHTNING GUY: Alright, then.

And besides, that's not Bell, that's just Bling.

BLING: Hiya guyws!! ^_^

LIGHTNING GUY: Hey Bling, how's it {vomits blood}

DARKANGEL: Bell is secretly well hidden somwhere in time, space, subspace and the subconcience. You'll never get there. As for the "Killed Darkangel", it was just a fighting sack of lemonade. Now it's my turn.

GUFFAW: They should be lawyers, how good they are at making up technicalities.

{Darkangel shoots 2 bullets to every member (including Bling) and they dissapear. After a few seconds, all the members except Bell reapear and are heavily wounded, paralyzed and bleeding.}

DARKANGEL: How's that for an attack, and besides, you can't move anymore. I'll just heal and just, have some circus peanuts while I laugh at your pitiful tries to stay alive. HEAL! {Darkangel is fully healed} CHAOS SPEAR! (A chaos spear attack is sent to each one of the ShadowMarks, Bling suddenly dissapears) About Bling, he's now in the hospital, being put in the emergency room. Hope he stays alive. Poor guy, so cute.

LIGHTNING GUY: I agree, it's {vomits blood}

{9 appears behind Darkangel}

9: HOW DARE YOU HURT BLING! YOU'LL PAY!!!!! {slices Darkangel's limbs off, then his head}

5: That was pointless. Darkangel has been killed for good, and Bling never got hurt.

LIGHTNING GUY: There. It's settled. No question. I'm the decider. {George Bushy laugh}

9: What do you mean he was never hurt?

4: Bling being hurt was just an illusion. That's a downer to Darkangel's powers.

LIGHTNING GUY: That none of them work. A bit of a stretch, but what isn't?

After all ,we know them all too well.

GUFFAW: All I heard was stalker.

5: Now then, Darkangel. You can try to take back Bell, but he's made up his mind. If he wishes to be with us, then so be it. As for you, you must die or surrender and Join us!

9: Yes. And I'll slowly kill you piece-by-piece. {rips Darkangel's hair off}

LIGHTNING GUY: You always start with the hair. Always.

6: Let...me...help. {slices off Darkangel's foot}

9: Okay. {eats Darkangel's arm.

GUFFAW: Hey.

it grows out of a rock}

GUFFAW: Wait a minute.

That... wasn't supposed to happen...

{Darkangel reforms back himself. He looks back to Bell, Darkangel snaps his fingers and Bell is as wounded and paralyzed as his "friends" were earlier. He then does the same to the rest.}

DARKANGEL: Now onto finishing this, for that I must charge up. I'll use my inpenetrable shield that NOTHING can destroy it. Not even the holy powers of heaven or the evil powers of th underworld.

{Lightning Guy looks at the shield the wrong way and it explodes.}
LIGHTNING GUY: Nice inpenetrable shield you had there.

{A trasluscent, rouns, swirling shield appears around Darkangel. Darkangel sits on de floor

GUFFAW: {in Jamaican mode} Sittin' on de flo, dok angel.

of the arena and the shield is getting more opaque as time passes}

DARKANGEL: If you wanna get entretained, then here's some elemental clones!

LIGHTNING GUY: How about you just entertain me instead? Just kidding, that's too much work for you.

{4 figures resembling Darkangel emerge from the shield. One is engulfed in fire, another one is made out of water, another one is made out of rocks and the last one is made of electricity.}

LIGHTNING GUY: {raises fist} WATT POWER!

ELEMENTAL DARKANGELS: While Darkangel is charging up, we'll kick your butts really hard! And we never miss ANY shots!

GUFFAW: That is exactly what we said to your mom last night.
LIGHTNING GUY: Wait, we?

{All 4 Elemental Darkangels attack everyone with explosions, body slams, whirpools, shocks and such. The Fire Element Darkangel clears the mist and reveals that all of the ShadowMarks are heavily wounded and heavily bleeding}

WATER ELEMENT DARKANGEL: Hey, guess what?

LIGHTNING GUY: Water is a boring element!

Darkangel's fully charged! Let's go back to the shield.

{All elemental Darkangels return ro the shield. The shield starts shining very bright. The shield suddenly explodes and it reveals a fully chraged,

GUFFAW: Beware the Ch-Rage.

glowing, floating Darkangel}

DARKANGEL: I'm not done yet! Chaos Emeralds! Come to me!

LIGHTNING GUY: But we don't feeel like it.

{The seven Chaos Emeralds appear and start swirling around Darkangel. Darkangel starts shining white and the emeralds too.

LIGHTNING GUY: White and the emeralds needed a good shining.

Suddenly, the Chaos Emeralds transform into Super Emeralds. Darkangel is swirling with power and then explodes.

GUFFAW: I love happy endings.

After exploding, the mist is cleared and it reveals a supercharged Hyper Darkangel}

HYPER DARKANGEL: Now it's time to DIE!

GUFFAW: But you died five seconds ago. You exploded. I saw it with my own arc-shaped eyes. Why am I being ignored.

{Energy starts swirling around Darkangel} Chaos.... {Screaming really loud} ULTIMA!!!!!

{Darkangel emits a humongous beam from his hands and it explodes on contact with the ShadowMarks. The explosion engulfs the whole territory. Cut to a view from space. An enourmous glowing, dome-like explosion is clearly visible. Cut back to the arena, which is completley damaged. An enourmous crater is in place where all the ShadowMarks used to be. Inside the crater, there are various small puddles of blood.

LIGHTNING GUY: It happens to everyone.

Darkangel turns back to normal}

DARKANGEL: Guess what? I WON!

{The croud starts cheering}

GUFFAW: When was there a crowd or croud or whatever.

DARKANGEL: And the classical "The crowd goes wild" thing. (Snicker)

LIGHTNING GUY: (Hungry? Why wait?)

9: {heals} What part of "Immortal" don't you understand? Random Jibney Death! n00b Punishment!!!

GUFFAW: Only n00bs say n00b. Them and Vietnam veterans. The point still stands.

{Darkangel is locked in a room, forced to watch every single n00bish thing on HRFWiki}

LIGHTNING GUY: a.k.a. every single thing on the HRFWiki.

{The room suddenly dissapears and Darkangel appears out of nowhere}

DARKANGEL: The "Inmortal" part is the one I don't understand. Why being inmortal when you can be mortal just like you friends?

GUFFAW: I have been in mortal. I have been in many mortal.
LIGHTNING GUY: Thanks for the night terrors, Guffaw.

MORTALITUS! {Bell suddenly gets stunned for a bit, but recovers inmediatly} Good thing you got stunned, that means you're mortal now. And good thing I recorded the attack I dealt to all of you as Hyper Darkangel with the Record Ball {Darkangel grabs a small, crysaline ball from his pocket} I just throw it to tour face and you'll suffer twice the damage I just dealt! And since you're mortal now...

{Darkangel throws the Record Ball to Bell and it lands straight in his face, releasing a cloud of blue fog. After a few seconds, the fog clears and it reveals a really small puddle of blood}

LIGHTNING GUY: Crap, I've run out of period jokes, too!

DARKANGEL:...You're obiously gonna die! Now that Bell's dead and no ShadowMark is alive to heal him, I won! HUDDAMANNOW, Huh? ME!

9: {reforms} Still immortal. Random Jibney Death! Banhammer! {Bans Darkangel}

GUFFAW: What a useful power.

Hahaha!!!

DARKANGEL: INVERTIUS! {Bell is inmediatly banned and Darkangel is back} HAHAHA! I like inverting the status aliments that I don't like!

LIGHTNING GUY: Remember when this battle was going somewhere? Yeah, me neither.

9: {reappears} Look, that was just a soul I stole that you banned!

LIGHTNING GUY: Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to steal people's souls?

It was a major vandal's.

SECOND GENS: OOOOB

You helped get rid of a vandal! Grood for you! Have a cookie! {forces a poisonous cookie down Darkangel's throat}

GUFFAW: Zero. Underscore. Zero.

And as for my teammates... {gives pools of blood pure souls. 4, 5, and 6 reform}

{The 3 other members turn into their demon forms}

ALL: TIME TO DIE!

LIGHTNING GUY: Finally.

DARKANGEL: I don't think so!

LIGHTNING GUY: Of course.

Remember I can bend reality, fool!

GUFFAW: Thank you for reminding us, Mister T.

Now every attack thath I made to all of you is recorded in this SUPER Record ball!

LIGHTNING GUY: It's just as useful as the regular record ball, as in not at all.

And just throwing it on the floor will destroy you with all of my attacks! And it'll be quadruple powerd! MUHUHHAHAHAHA!

{Darkangel throws the SUPER Record Ball to the ShadowMark's feet and it explodes in a cloud of red fog. Voices of Darkangel can be heard from the fog}

FOG'S MEMORIES: {Echoing} Chaos--INVERTI--MORTAL--I WON!--Chaos Emeralds, come t--Record Ba--BLAST!--TALITUS!--ULTIMA!!!

GUFFAW: The memories. They burn.

{The fog is cleared revealing half a limb from each ShadowMark and a large sea of blood}

DARKANGEL: How many lines does this goes?

LIGHTNING GUY: Start throwing numbers at me and I swear...

Because I have already won noe, baby! And since you're mortal and such, you're all dead! HAHAHAHAHA!

9: {reforms. reforms 4,5,6, still demons} HA! That time, those were Your, and three of your closest friends' souls!!!! {Darkangel evaporates}

ICE DEMON: Oh, no. We're immortal. Human or Demon. How? Well ,notice that we're either demons or undead. 2 Beings thta escape the mortality rule. Even Bell, in his Demon form, is now immortal.

BLADE DEMON: Which means that we'll live forever, and with our infinite lives? We'll rule the world of course!

LIGHTNING GUY: Making this entire battle a complete waste of time. Great job, guys.

UNDEAD GOLEM: So don't ever think we'll die, 'cuz then you'd be lying to yourself.

9: Look, I'm always immortal. You see, the two sides of my body, Im a bell and Ll e bami, only appear if the other dies. Therefore, I cannot cease to exist on the entire basis of me dying!

GUFFAW: The {pause} action {pause} never

9: And now, for my favorite trick--{Bell puffs in a cloud of smoke, after the smoke is cleared, Darkangel is instead of Bell, bell is nowhere to be seen}

GUFFAW: Stops.

DARKANGEL:--I shall appear from Bell's body! Oh wait, I just did that.

{Darkangel snaps his fingers and every ShadowMark dissapear in puffs of smoke. The smoke is cleared and it reveals Sephiroth (From Final Fantasy), Gannondorf (From the legend of Zelda) and Nemesis (from Resident Evil). All of the ShadowMarks suddenly appear, almost dieing, heavily wounded and near death, even though they're "inmortal".}

LIGHTNING GUY: Instead of stealing their fight moves this time, let's just steal their characters! Also, stay out of mortal, please.

ALL: TIME TO DIE! {Everyone charges up for an attack}

9: {comes out from behind Darkangel} Hello, stupid! Why don't you freakin' remember what the Tandy told you? I'm frickin' immortal-

GUFFAW: He is not immortal. He just refuses to freaking die.

VEGEROT: And immoral!

9: Grrr... AND YOU CAN'T KILL US!

GUFFAW: That is kind of what immortal means.

{4, 5, 6 arise still demons} Now! Random Jibney Death! Mutiny!

{Seph, Gannondorf, and Nemesis kill Darkangel}

9: Now get out of our face...es!

LIGHTNING GUY: Ellipses for effect.

GANNONDORF: Wait, what the @$#* are we doing?!

LIGHTNING GUY: What the series of four unrelated symbols are you doing? I'm not quite sure.

{All stop, they move out to reveal a punching bag}

SEPHIROTH: It's just a punching bag?! {To ShadowMarks} YOU TRAITORS! Prepare to die!

DARKANGEL: {Nowhere to be seen, voiceover} That's right! And guess what?

GUFFAW: I do not feel like guessing. The what is always anticlimactic.

INMORTILUS!

GUFFAW: What did I say.

{A light brielfy shines over Sephh's, Gannon's and Nemesis' heads} The're now inmortal too!

LIGHTNING GUY: The are now in Mortal Too? About time!

Like all of us! KILL THE SHADOWMARKS! NOW!

ALL OF DARKANGEL'S SIDE: As you order us, master.

{Everyone heavily wound all of the ShadowMarks

GUFFAW: No thank you.

and Sephiroth pierces to all of the SM's chests, destroying their demon forms and turning them back to normal}

DARKANGEL: {Still absent, voiceover} FINISH EM!

EMILY: But what did I {gets shot}

{All members of ShadowMarks pull out Demon Bell from inside Bell, and use him in the crucifix}

ALL DEMONS: DEMONIC CRUCIFIX!!!! {Darkangel us

LIGHTNING GUY: Darkangel people! Darkangel people!

put onto a crucifix, and the first 3 demons preform their normal attacks, excluding Kaiser Dragon}

BLADE DEMON: Now, Demon Bell!

DEMON BELL: Random Jibney Death! Fireball!!! {Transforms into giant ball of energy, blasts into Darkangel}

GUFFAW: Can you not just say Fireball.

ALL DEMONS: Gold Kaiser Dragon! {Golden Kaiser Dragon rises from black ashes and preforms a move similar to the normal one, except instead of supernovas, it launches Afronovas}

DEMON BELL: Now, for the ultimate Random Jibney Death attack! Ultimate Destruction Jibney Death! CHIME AFRONOVA!!!!!! {transforms into a Gigantic Fireball, fuses with a giant Afronova, blasts into Darkangel and destroys him}

ANNOUNCER: Of all my years of spectating battels, I have NEVER seen such an exciting one!

LIGHTNING GUY: Can someone please ground him into beef again?

And the winner is ShadowMarks!

{all members walk away from the field}

LIGHTNING GUY: Fine! Ignore me! I don't care! I don't

ANNOUNCER: Goodnight, everybody!

LIGHTNING GUY: SHUT UP CREEPER