RiffText/RTOD/Wiki User Email Im a bell/blingorigin

Summary

Bling's true origins are revealed.

Transcript

Part 1: Spring Cleaning

BLING: Hey, Vegerot!

VEGEROT: What?

BLING: Since Im a bell isn't here, why don't we

LIGHTNING GUY: Have a stereotypical college party?

clean up the house?

LIGHTNING GUY: You're a freaking killjoy.

{Short pause.}
NOXIGAR: That makes him a hypocrite, right?

VEGEROT: Fine. But we have to invite 1-Up and Grundy.

BLING: Huh? Oh right. 1.6. {notices H44WP is staring through the window}

LIGHTNING GUY: There is nothing H44WP cannot infect.

NOXIGAR: He can't infect friendship circles where he doesn't wish to partake in or otherwise claim said circle were "acquaintances-at-best."

Get the gun.

{H44WP runs off. Cut to the attic. Bling, Vegerot, Grundy, and 1-Up are there}

GRUNDY: MY GOD! This is horrid!

BLING: It's Bell's room.

LIGHTNING GUY: He lives in his own attic because he rented all his rooms out to anime characters.

What do you expect?

GRUNDY: Oh yeah.

BLING: Anyways, 1-Up, you clean here. Grundy, you take the 2nd level attic.

GRUNDY: 2nd level attic?

BLING: After Bell made the attic his room, we had to create a second attic above this to house everything that WAS here.

LIGHTNING GUY: Then they had to create a third attic

NOXIGAR: Keith's joke about attics was funny on its own.

above that to house everything that was in the attics of the anime characters.

GRUNDY: Oh. Got it. {opens a door labeled "2nd level attic", walks up staircase behind it}

BLING: I'll take the basement and sub-basement. Veg, you get everything else. {walks downstairs}

VEGEROT: Got it. {walks downstairs also}

1-UP: This place is gross. ARE THOSE POP-TARTS? Ew.

LIGHTNING GUY: Pretty vague product placement.

At least it can't get any grosse-{notices a pile of bodies} What the {bleep}?!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Well, he's got to put them somewhere.

{walks over to the pile of bodies. Above the pile, there is a sign written in blood reading "Im a bell's Room. Stay Out OR ELSE!"}

1-UP: This is the most disturbing thing I've eve seen.

LIGHTNING GUY: This is the most disturbing writing I've eve read.

{picks up a body} This guy seems familiar... OH MY GOD, IT'S AIRSTAR FLYER!!!!!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: WHO!!!!!!!!!

Man. I knew Bell was insane, but THIS! THIS IS PSYCHOPATH LEVEL!

LIGHTNING GUY: Remember to wash your hands after picking up dead bodies.

GRUNDY:{from 2nd level attic} SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO CLEAN UP HERE!!!!

1-UP: S-Sorry. {walks over to a bedside table, opens a drawer, pulls out two picture frames} Huh? {looks at the pictures, eyes widen} HEY GRUNDY! COME LOOK AT THIS!!

{Grundy walks down}

GRUNDY: Huh? {walks over to 1-Up} Pictures? What so odd about these? {quickly glances at them} Hmm... they're both of Bell crying beside a hospital bed.

LIGHTNING GUY: Either someone died, or he had a miscarriage.

NOXIGAR: There are times where I lament that "Loss" was never funny to begin with, else I'd just respond with that image .jpeg.

1-UP: Aaand?

GRUNDY: And... they both have what seems to be an odd animal in the bed. The first one looks like so me sort of Cat-eared Sterrence, and the other- {eyes widens, gasps}

LIGHTNING GUY: My God! It's worse than both!

NOXIGAR: If this were 1st Edition Werewolf: the Forsaken where apocalypse babies were actually a thing, then... that'd be slightly enjoyable for the fact that it would establish that Bellverse is "cursed" on its own merit.
NAMINE: I'm pretty sure that went over my head as well as what Lightning Guy was saying.

He had a deformed child!

{camera spins around to reveal the second picture has Bling in the hospital bed}

GRUNDY: Whoa. We HAVE to show Bling this.

1-UP: Right.

{Grundy & 1-Up

LIGHTNING GUY: How hard is it to write out a three-letter word?

NOXIGAR: That's exactly how "1-Up" is spelt and written in Homestar Runner.

walk downstairs. Vegerot walks toward them}

VEGEROT: What is it?

1-UP: We're gonna show Bling this picture I found in Bell's room.

LIGHTNING GUY: Showing him that would be a really obnoxious thing to do.

VEGEROT: Picture? I-It isn't the one of Bling in a hospital bed, is it?

GRUNDY: Yeah. it's that one. Why do you ask?

VEGEROT: You can't show Bling that picture.

1-UP: WHAT? WHY NOT?

LIGHTNING GUY: BECAUSE YOU'D BE AN ASS

NOXIGAR: John cursing? That's genuinely surprising to see before 2014.

IF YOU DID

VEGEROT: I found that picture also. When Bell saw me, he told me not to show Bling that. I asked why, and he told me it explained Bling's origins which should not be told to him.

GRUNDY: Well, what are his origins?

VEGEROT: I'll tell you...

Part 2: The Story

VEGEROT: You see, There was a wolf goddess and a Cheat.

LIGHTNING GUY: One thing led to another and

They had a son named-

GRUNDY: What does this have to do with Bling?

VEGEROT: ...Be patient. ...a son named Dobie.

1-UP: You mean Lucas Aura's cheat?

VEGEROT: Yes. Anyways, when Dobie was about... 30 years old, he married a female Trivia Time. They had a son named Dobito, which literally translates from Ancient Trivia Time Language to "Son of Dobie".

LIGHTNING GUY: The critically panned sequel to "Dobie".

GRUNDY: I don't see where this is headed.

VEGEROT: I'm getting to Bling. Anyways, when Dobito was about 4, he traveled with his parents to America, where they were accidentally separated. Bell found Dobito very injured and captured by Unguraits.

GRUNDY: You are making ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE AT ALL.

LIGHTNING GUY: Nothing here ever does.

1-UP: Wait, what did Dobito look like?

VEGEROT: A golden Trivia Time with cat ears. Why?

1-UP: Is this Dobito in the picture?

VEGEROT: Yes. Yes it is. Anyways, Bell brought Dobito to the hospital. There was a 2% chance he was going to survive.

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm pretty sure that would be multiplied by like 50% with a Mary Sue

NOXIGAR: One of my friends elsewhere mentioned that there was apparently a Mary Sue "witch hunt" in 2010 on DeviantArt, or something akin to it. I always thought Mary Sue's etymology was just plain butchered so people would always crap on female writers, for no one gave male writers any flak for writing self-insert self-indulgent power trip characters. When I learned of this fact off-handedly some few years back, I stopped using the term "Mary Sue" even ironically, for I couldn't tolerate it anymore.

NAMINE: And the point of your tiny lecture was...?

NOXIGAR: I thought about making a jape about how John's shown signs of being a Tea Party Republican at-best before his persona reveal, but I think I lost track of what was going to make that funny. Wait, no, the joke wouldn't have been seen as funny by anyone on here regardless.

next to you.

GRUNDY: My God...

VEGEROT: Yes. Anyways, the doctor said that Dobito lost so much blood, the only way he was even possibly going to survive is if someone would give him some of their own DNA and/or blood.

1-UP: I'm starting to understand...

LIGHTNING GUY: Good for you.

VEGEROT: Bell agreed to this. He gave up half of his entire body to heal Dobito. But, Dobito didn't stay normal. He became a kitten-like Bell, who apparently seemed to not be even 1 year old.

LIGHTNING GUY: I doubt he's much more.

GRUNDY: Wait, so Bell gave Dobito some of his DNA, creating Bling?

VEGEROT: Yes.

1-UP: I knew it...

LIGHTNING GUY: You knew nothing.

GRUNDY: So, what is Bling's full name?

VEGEROT: Bling Dobito Bellstrom.

1-UP: He's still named Dobito?

LIGHTNING GUY: It's his middle name.

VEGEROT: Yes. But, don't call him that. He'll get annoyed.

GRUNDY: Why?

LIGHTNING GUY: BECAUSE IT'S HIS MIDDLE NAME

VEGEROT: He doesn't prefer that name.

END OF STORY!!!!!

Part 3: Family Tree (for those who need it)

A Cheat
+
Wolf Goddess
|
Dobie
+
Female Trivia Time
|
Dobito
|
Bling