RiffText/RTOD/Wiki User Email Im a bell/Visiting

Im a bell's cousin visits.

LIGHTNING GUY: I expect him to be just as fine a young man as Bell himself.

Summary

Cast (in order of their appearance): Im a bell, strong Bad, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Bellson, 9 (actually Im a bell), Vegerot, Bling

Places: Im a bell's computer room

Transcript

IM A BELL: It's my tenthannual emailiganza!

LIGHTNING GUY: More like emailigayza.

NOXIGAR: I'd probably make a complaint about gay jokes, but it'd fall as flat as the abysmal pun over here.

So, listen to this awexome rock intro!! Ready?

STRONG BAD, STRONG SAD, & HOMESTAR: Ready!

THE CHEAT:{simultaneously} Mehreh!

{the cheat starts playing drums. Strong Bad starts playing keyswordtar. Strong Sad starts playing bass}

LIGHTNING GUY: But I thought his bass was his stomach.

HOMESTAR: Since when?

STRONG SAD: Since never.
NOXIGAR: I can't really keep track of all these guests, guys.
HOMESTAR: You won't have to!
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}
HOMSAR: Flooooaaaating around at the speed of sound.
NAMINE: You only have Homestar Runner characters as guests, due to a lot of the riffs being orientated from Homestar Runner-based fanfiction and concepts. We won't have an infinite number of guests.

{Noxigar shrugs.}

IM A BELL & HOMESTAR:{singing, to the toon

LIGHTNING GUY: You really need to leave your computer more.

of "Iron Man"} Eeeemail! E-email! Typin' Typin' Typin' Typin' Random Things! Eeee-mail! E-email! Gonna turn your lights out with a Discount Brick!

{everyone stops playing}

HOMESTAR: That was

LIGHTNING GUY: Terrible.

awesome!!!

THE CHEAT: Meh!

LIGHTNING GUY: Translated: I've heard road kill with better rhythm!

STRONG BAD: So... When do we get our money?

LIGHTNING GUY: When he gives it to you.

IM A BELL: Soon.

Visiting

Dear cousin,
Guess what?
I'm coming to visit for a few months!
Sincereley,
Cousin Bellson.

IM A BELL:{typing} Bellson?!!! Oh god. Please don't come here!

{A Bell with arms, legs, a face, and a Coach Z hat (Bellson)

LIGHTNING GUY: Why would he have Coach Z's hat?

HOMESTAR: Because it actually looks cool?
STRONG SAD: Homestar, it's quite telling when you say absurdly stupid things like that.

Is this Bellson guy a criminal

HOMESTAR: Should I bweak Lightning Guy's kneecaps fow wacial pwofiling?

STRONG SAD: How does a hat have to do with race?
HOMESTAR: What if Coach Z has a hewitage?

NAMINE: I really don't see the point, Homestar...

or something?

breaks through Im a bell's head}

BELLSON: Hellooooooooo,

LIGHTNING GUY: Jerry.

cousin!

IM A BELL: God no. {annoyed/tired} Hello,

LIGHTNING GUY: Newman.

Bellson. Alright, let's get this over with.

BELLSON: Yatta!!! So... Um... Whatdoyouwannado? Whatdoyouwannado? Whatdoyouwannado?

IM A BELL: I want to kill myself.

LIGHTNING GUY: We're finally on the same page.

{Namine sedates Noxigar}

STRONG SAD: If you're sedating him over suicidal messages, do you mind sedating me also?
NAMINE: Nox actually tried to kill himself once.
{Strong Sad's head looks down}

STRONG SAD: Ohhhh...

BELLSON: Okay... I'LL DO IT FOR YA!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Me next! Me next!

IM A BELL: No! NO! Wait! WAIT!!!

{Bellson pulls out a shotgun}

BELLSON: Say hello to my little friend!

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh. Screw that, then.

{Bellson fires the shotgun}

IM A BELL: Grrr...

{Im a bell becomes a Soul Reaper}

LIGHTNING GUY: A what?

STRONG SAD: Soul Reaper. It's in plain English.

BELLSON: AWESOME!!!!!

IM A BELL: ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION JIBNEY

LIGHTNING GUY: UNORIGINAL

DEATH! HOLLOW DISINTEGRATION!!!!!!

{Im a bell slices Bellson into pieces, reforms him as a hollow, and then proceeds to destroy him. Bellson regenerates}

LIGHTNING GUY: {sighs} They always do.

BELLSON: Nice move, cuz! Now it's my turn! SELF-DESTRUCTION DEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{Bellson explodes, taking Im a bell, and the house along with it. When the smoke clears, Bellson is still in one piece}

LIGHTNING GUY: This is just freaking messed up.

BELLSON: So cuz, what do you think of THAT?

{an Im a bell (Soul Reaper) shaped shadow (9) appears}

9: You wanna know what I think? I think you're about to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ano Yo Kyoki! Bankai x1000000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: :I

STRONG SAD: :I

{9's sword dissapears.

LIGHTNING GUY: Diss is weird.

Bellson disintegrates}

9: That's it! I'm taking a vacation! Vegerot!

LIGHTNING GUY: What does the scouter say about the {stops himself, twitching}

HOMESTAR: Saw the Kajetokun video which echoed that saying, too?

Oh...god...

HOMESTAR: Quick, Stwong Sad! You ow Mawzipan needs to dwess up as a hipstew and be the Humouw Police!

NAMINE: I can't tell if-

HOMESTAR: Thewe's mowe layews of iwony-flavouwed Lay's Chips!

it's getting to me.

VEGEROT: Yeah?

9: Give me ten trillion yen,

LIGHTNING GUY: The only currency we accept.

and rebuild the house!

VEGEROT: Fine. {gets out wallet} Why yen?

9: I'm gonna go live in Japan for a while. Bling!

BLING: Yeah? What?

LIGHTNING GUY: Where are these people coming from?

9: You can take over Bellmail while I'm away.

BLING: Hooway!!!!

{9 transforms back into Im a bell}

IM A BELL: Sayonara. {dissapears}

LIGHTNING GUY: Diss is still weird.

VEGEROT: ...Wow.

BLING: Yays! I get to take ovew Bewwmaiw!

LIGHTNING GUY: Congratulations, kid. Now get my smokes.

VEGEROT: Just one thing...

BLING: Huh? What?

VEGEROT: Don't use the lisp in the email show, okay?

LIGHTNING GUY: Why would he want to use the lisp ever?

HOMESTAR: What if he needed to impewsonate me and be in-chawactew?

BLING: Fine.

{the paper comes down. 15 seconds later, Strong Bad walks in}

STRONG BAD: Does this mean he's not gonna pay us?

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, now I remember! This was on the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki!

NAMINE: I believe that's been established already.