RiffText/RTOD/Wiki User Email Im a bell/Jorbs

Im a bell goes to work.

Summary

Cast (in order of their appearance): belstrnnmmvnmn, Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Bad, The Master of Time and Space, 大棒さっさと棍子, Homestar dressed in a muffler costume, The Priesnouncer.

Places: Im a bell's Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, Center of the Universe, The HIA, SB's House, A Church.

Transcript

IM A BELL:{singing} I should have told you all I wanted was to check e-mai-il, but you wanted me to be the deletin' o-one!

LIGHTNING GUY: But you've never been suited for anything e-e-ver.

NOXIGAR: I haven't been suited for anything ever, but I know Keith has a talent for writing.

{high voice} yes you di-id!

Jorbs

Dare Bellstrom,
wart kindar jorbs yous grot?
Rappa Zay

IM A BELL: Uh oh. A Coach Z e-mail.

{types in "translataz.exe"}

Jobs

Dear Im a bell,
What kind of jobs do you have?
Coach Z

IM A BELL:{typing}I got tons of jobs. One for each day of the week. Except for Monday. That's when I check e-Mail

LIGHTNING GUY: And it somehow takes up the entire day.

NOXIGAR: Imagine, for a minute, if someone made an email show of their own. Imagine if it was like a YouTube vlog. Imagine having to do edits to not mess up reading the email. Imagine having to do outtakes to ensure quality control. Imagine having to come up with a script post-email to ensure you can remain entertaining. Imagine having to compete with other YouTube vlogs, especially 'round 2010 or so. It can take up the entire day if one wanted to put effort into it, as one puts effort into 2014-era gaming videos on Hearthstone, or whatever. Nothing "somehow" takes up an entire day, otherwise the gist of Strong Bad doing it would sound laughably unrealistic.

(there's a time warp thingy involved). And except Saturday, that's when Bo-bobo's on!

LIGHTNING GUY: And ot somehow takes up the entire day.

On Tuesday, I go over to work at Bubs's with Strong Bad. Although, usually he makes me eat old, sweaty, food-shaped costumes.

{cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Im a bell is eating the Sad Clowndog costume}

LIGHTNING GUY: That's why the clowndog is sad.

NOXIGAR: Maybe the Sad Clowndog was just always depressed and never got proper treatment.

That's why...

BUBS: Just keep eating that Sad Clowndog! Hey, where's Strong Bad?

STRONG BAD:{from inside Im a bell's stomach} HELP ME!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Im a bell thought Strong Bad was just the dog meat.

{cut back to the computer}

IM A BELL:{typing} On Wednesday, I go make supernovas and wormholes in the center of the Universe

LIGHTNING GUY: Which is actually pretty easy to do.

with Strong Sad-I mean, "The Master of Time and Space".

{cut to the Middle of the Universe}

IM A BELL: Time/Space Master, do we really have to destroy Alpha Centauri?

THE MASTER OF TIME AND SPACE: YES WE DO!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: WE JUST DO

NOXIGAR: Didn't he do this joke already? Or...?

NAMINE: You're reading the e-mail riffs backwards.
NOXIGAR: Oh. So, theoretically, this is his first time doing the joke.
NAMINE: Yep.
NOXIGAR: I'm still not thinking this was amusing.

NAMINE: I'm still thinking you should probably consult a therapist.

Now, hand me Halley's Comet.

{cut back to the computer}

IM A BELL:{typing} On Thursday, I go run the HIA.

LIGHTNING GUY: What the crap is the HI freaking A?

{cut to the HIA}

IM A BELL: Yo twiggy! What's our, uh, ya know, gig fo' today?

LIGHTNING GUY: You must have spent hour coming up with that charade.

THESTICK: Don't call me twiggy, Im a bell! And this is your week off, remember?

{Im a bell pulls out a Tommy gun}

LIGHTNING GUY: He ran out of Jimmy guns, I see.

IM A BELL: Now look twiggy! You are to call me Don Belletto! And you tell me today's plan or you ain't gettin' no piece of the action, but your gettin' a piece of the lead from this heater, capiche?

THE STICK: Why do you always act like a mafia boss when you come here?

LIGHTNING GUY: Because secret agents are exactly the same as the mob.

{cut back to the computer}

IM A BELL:{typing} On Friday, I go to Strong Bad's house to beat a muffler with a lead pipe. Or something like that.

LIGHTNING GUY: Or he beats a muffler with a lead pipe like he said.

{cut to SB's house. homestar is dressed in what appears to be a muffler costume}

HOMESTAR: Just keep on hitting me! Hit me! Hit me down!

LIGHTNING GUY: That boy sure loves to get spanked.

IM A BELL: Are you sure that's a muffler?

STRONG BAD: Uhh... Yeah, why not?

IM A BELL: Okay!

{Im a bell hits homestar multiple times. cut back to the computer}

IM A BELL:{typing} On Sunday, I go to church.

LIGHTNING GUY: How ironic.

{cut to a church. Im a bell can be seen hanging from the church's belfry. The Announcer is a priest conducting a wedding}

THE PRIESNOUNCER: And do you, Bubs, take Coack Z to be your lawfully wedded freak?

LIGHTNING GUY: This happens every Sunday.

NOXIGAR: Before or after Coach Z and Bubs divorce? I don't think this happens every Sunday, unless money in this universe comes out of a vacuum of space.

BUBS: How did you talk me into this again?

{cut back to the computer}

IM A BELL:{typing} The weird thing is, Coach Z marries Bubs EVERY Sunday!

LIGHTNING GUY: I give up.

NOXIGAR: Bubs and Coach Z being in a homosexual relationship is quite honestly an easy headcanon to form. Whether it's used as a joke or not is largely dependent on the writer, but I don't see how them being married every Sunday is anything short of "weird" or "an odd joke to make."

{stops typing} Well, I gotta go make black hole cake for Strong Sad. Say, You know what would go great with that? Fried Sad Clowndog Costume!

{Im a bell leaves. The Paper comes down}

Real-World References

• The Email Intro Im a bell sings is a reference to a Godley & Creme song, "Wedding Bells".