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RiffText/RTOD/Wiki User Email Im a bell/Intercept

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Summary

AFTER IS FINISHED I WILL WRITE!!

LIGHTNING GUY: I hope he never finishes.

Transcript

Part 1: The Return

BLING:{to the tune of Katamari Damacy} EEEEEE~ MA-AA-a-a-AAAIL!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, put a sock in it. Actually, put all my socks in it. I'm out of clean ones.
No subject
Dear Shnozzface

Has Crapface every creeped you out
with the way he licks peanut butter off his politics?
And the way he neonazis the infomercial and the turnips?
What about the way he wallows in the Jedi Council?
And when he vikings his argyle watercress salad?
THAT DRIVES ME INSANE!
What about you, Shnozzface?

-Homfrogface

BLING: Er, why'd I get this email?

LIGHTNING GUY: Maybe because you linked to your inbox
NAMINE: Some people still like to have a Fourth Wall.
asking people to send you emails.

GRUNDY: Dunno.

1-UP: Hmm. It's from Lord Homfrog... Why would HE send an email to US? All three of us are only Class 4 FroggerMembers...

BLING: SHH! I feel a disturbance in the force...

LIGHTNING GUY: Maybe you should stop wallowing in the Jedi Council.
HOMESTAR: Only the Sith deal in absolutes. So, why should he be wallowing?

{the Gongy 42 falls off the desk. The Chimer appears}

BLING: Chimer? You know what that means! BELL'S BACK!!!

{Bell voips in (still long haired SonicBell.

LIGHTNING GUY: Sonic Drive-In and Taco Bell have finally merged?
NAMINE: Y'know, I always get sick from Sonic-burger.

HOMESTAR: Why do you have it?
NAMINE: Hanging out with the lads means I have to pick my battles. I prefer me some bomb-ass Panera any day.
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}
HOMESTAR: I don't think any of us have been to "Cheeky Nando's," The Cheat.

HOMSAR: Can you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men in Portugal?

I've got to check this out! {runs out}</blockquote> Bling hugs him}

LIGHTNING GUY: {walks back in an hour later}
NAMINE: So an hour for him is a few seconds in-fiction.

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}
HOMSAR: He made his bed, and now he'll lie in it.

NAMINE: Wait, what?

My life is now complete.

NOXIGAR: He says, as he invents more excuses to tarnish the creativity of Bellstrom.

Man, those lovebirds

NAMINE: I'm pretty sure they're related.

{Noxigar vomits}
HOMESTAR: Oh, cwap. You okay?

{Noxigar lifts his head back up, and weakly nods.}
are still hugging?

IM A BELL: Hey, Bling! How'ya doin'?

BLING: Fine!

IM A BELL: Good. Now, you and your friends go play in you room.

LIGHTNING GUY: And don't catch any STDs!

I'm taking my show back!

{Bling, 1-up, and Grundy run off}

Part 2: The Email

No subject
Dear Shnozzface

Has Crapface every creeped you out
with the way he licks peanut butter off his politics?
And the way he neonazis the infomercial and the turnips?
What about the way he wallows in the Jedi Council?
And when he vikings his argyle watercress salad?
THAT DRIVES ME INSANE!
What about you, Shnozzface?

-Homfrogface

IM A BELL: Strange... Why would Lord Homfrog send an email to ME?

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm pretty sure I already went over this.
NAMINE: You didn't.

I better translate it... {types in "translatehomfrog.exe"}

FroggerMemo:Important Mission
Dear FroggerMember 1337:

The Frogstar Scouts Classes B and D have turned on us
and have captured the President.

LIGHTNING GUY: There's both a "Lord" and a president here.

They have taken control of the Neonazis,

LIGHTNING GUY: Please. You just need to say an entire sentence in German and they'll fall to you like shooting victims.

The Living Infomercials, and The TurnipMasters.
You must report this to the Jedi Council immediately.
The SaladVikings are currently searching for the rouge Frogstar Scouts' base.
Be warned. The Frogstar Scouts are very insane.
Make sure you complete this mission before 1700 hours, or you will be fired. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.

LIGHTNING GUY: Throughout the masses. <insert clever pun>
NAMINE: Wow, criticize people for creativity but balls up when your own creativity's put into question. Classic.
-Lord Homfrog

IM A BELL: FroggerMember 1337? I'm FroggerMember 31337! Wait, FM1337 will be murdered if this isn't completed?!!

LIGHTNING GUY: And that automatically makes it your concern.

What time is it? {looks at clock. it reads "4:00 PM"} OH CRAP!!!! Now, let's see if I can remember who's FM1337...

{a thought bubble appears. a picture of Homsar appears, then changes to Lucas Aura, then to Bubs, then to Kirbychu HR'D, then the pictures go by to fast to be visible, then it stops at Homeschool}

IM A BELL: HOMESCHOOL WINNER!

LIGHTNING GUY: But I thought he didn't exist. You said

Now, let's see if I can find his address... {types in "froggermail.exe"}

{the chimer's screen turns Tandy-like}

IM A BELL: {sighs} Good. I completed it.

LIGHTNING GUY: There. Conscience cleared. Is it over now?

Hm? Another email?

FroggerMemo:Accompaniment
Dear FroggerMember 31337:

You are to find FM1337 and accompany him on his way to the Jedi Council.
I choose you because you were the only one who intercepted 1337's mission and sent it to him.

LIGHTNING GUY: This is your punishment for giving a crap.

You also are the most powerful.

LIGHTNING GUY: Sucking up to your inferior,
NAMINE: "What's the difference between "sucking up," and using flattery to get a henchman to do whatever you want?"
I see.
Complete this mission and you will be promoted to FroggerMember 12007.
Fail, and you will suffer the same fate as FM1337.
-Lord Homfrog

IM A BELL: Whoa. I was actually emailed by Lord Homfrog!

{Bling, Grundy, and 1-up run back in}

LIGHTNING GUY: "Remember that thing you said about STDs?"

BLING: What's up?

GRUNDY: We heard you yelling about Lord Homfrog!

1-UP: Has something happened?

IM A BELL: Yes. Something good,

LIGHTNING GUY: Im a bell's about to be shot out of a cannon.

and something bad.

LIGHTNING GUY: This isn't freaking over yet.

Part 3: Race Against Time

IM A BELL: The bad news, the Frogstar Scouts classes B and D have turned evil, and have taken control of the Neonazis, The Living Infomercials, and The TurnipMasters.

1-UP: ...Wow.

LIGHTNING GUY: Yes. Wow.

GRUNDY: And the good news?

IM A BELL: I have been sent on a mission with a Class 1 FroggerMember.

BLING: Wow.

LIGHTNING GUY: Yes. Wow.

Class 1.

IM A BELL: Yes. If I am successful, I will also be promoted to Class 1.

BLING: MAJIDE?!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Dang it, Bell! Not all of us are Japanese experts!
NAMINE: Majide, this Lightning Gaijin is unsure of Watashi's ability to look up Gugaru Hon'yaku to solve my Mondais.
NOXIGAR: I hate Mondais.

IM A BELL: Yes. I am serious. Unfortunately, if I fail this mission, me and the other FM will be fired. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.

LIGHTNING GUY: Throughout the masses. <repetitive pun>

GRUNDY: Ouch.

IM A BELL: Yes. Anyways, it's currently... 4:15 PM. I have 45 minutes to get to the Class 1 FroggerMember and help him with his mission. Bye. {warps away}

{cut to Homeschool's computer room}

HOMESCHOOL:{singing} How am I not still shot in Flakey's Pizza?

LIGHTNING GUY: Nerds can never die.
NOXIGAR: That explains why my year-old Wonka nerds never mutated into anything tasty.
Ever.
LIGHTNING GUY: A blockquote, on the other hand...

HOMESCHOOL!
This is important! You have to complete this mission before 5:00! Details inside attachment.
-Im a bell

ATTACHMENT:urgentmissionfor1337.txt

HOMESCHOOL: Huh?

FroggerMemo:Important Mission
Dear FroggerMember 1337:

The Frogstar Scouts Classes B and D have turned on us
and have captured the President.
They have taken control of the Neonazis, The Living Infomercials, and The TurnipMasters.
You must report this to the Jedi Council immediately.
The SaladVikings are currently searching for the rouge Frogstar Scouts' base.
Be warned. The Frogstar Scouts are very insane.
Make sure you complete this mission before 1700 hours, or you will be fired. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.

LIGHTNING GUY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Lord Homfrog

HOMESCHOOL: Um, whoa. That's... strange.

{Bell warps in}

IM A BELL: HOMESCHOOL!

LIGHTNING GUY: You just warp into a dude's home whenever you want.
NAMINE: Is being strapped for time not appropriate context?
No front doors. Nothing.

HOMESCHOOL: WAAH!! O-Oh. It's you, Bell. So, we have 40 minutes to get to the Jedi Council?

IM A BELL: Yes. Now, quickly! Hurry!

{cut to outside Homeschool's house. Bell and Homeschool run out the door}

IM A BELL: Now, we travel.

HOMESCHOOL: Bell, can't you just teleport us there?

IM A BELL: It wouldn't be an epic if I did that, would it?

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm going to enjoy watching you burn
NAMINE: He's using "epic" in a non-shitty context. Cut him some bloody slack.
to dust.

HOMESCHOOL: Right... So, which way are we going?

IM A BELL: Hold on, lemme check... {gets out map to Jedi Council} Um... North... Dennis. We go North-Dennis.

HOMESCHOOL: And Dennis is...?

LIGHTNING GUY: A lame joke.

IM A BELL: Apparently, - {points upward} -up.

LIGHTNING GUY: What kind of a map is that?

So, North-Dennis should be a slope of... 1/2.

HOMESCHOOL: Okay then. {jumps upward}

LIGHTNING GUY: Screw physics, we have a story to tell!

IM A BELL: Right. {does same}

Part 4: Journey to the Council

{a screen appears reading the following;}

{the screen disappears}

HOMESCHOOL: So, how far is the Council from here?

IM A BELL: Exactly... {looks at map} 1,103,300 metres.

HOMESCHOOL: In not metric?

LIGHTNING GUY: Americans.
NAMINE: Fun fact. There are two Asian countries which also use Imperial.
Always so lazy.

IM A BELL: Approximately 627 miles.

HOMESCHOOL: Um, is that bad?

IM A BELL: How far can you jump in a minute?

LIGHTNING GUY: Why would you ask someone that?

HOMESCHOOL: About a mile.

LIGHTNING GUY: Of course he knows.

IM A BELL: It'll take you about 10 hours and 45 minutes to get there. We only have 35 minutes.

LIGHTNING GUY: 10 hours and 45 minutes is clearly a longer time span than 35 minutes.

HOMESCHOOL: ...Crap.

LIGHTNING GUY: He gets it now.

IM A BELL: Yes. Hopefully, something stupid and obscure will slow, or completely stop time.

HOMESCHOOL: True. Well, let's get going.

IM A BELL: Yes. {starts jumping rapidly forward}

HOMESCHOOL: Right. {does same}

{cut to a montage of Im a bell and Homeschool jumping through a forest.

LIGHTNING GUY: We're jumping through a forest.

The song "Trashed" by Black Sabbath is playing in the background.

LIGHTNING GUY: We're jumping through a forest.

A clock in the corner of the screen appears, and over the 4 minures, 15 seconds the song is playing, it quickly counts to 5:00.

LIGHTNING GUY: We're jumping through a forest.

when the song is over, the clock stops at 4:59.

LIGHTNING GUY: We're jumping through a forest.

Klaxons sound.

LIGHTNING GUY: We're jumping through a forest.

Cut to Im a bell and Homeschool. Bell's watch is flashing red}

IM A BELL: OH CRAP!!!!! WE'RE OUT OF TIME!

LIGHTNING GUY: YES!

HOMESCHOOL: AHH! H-HOW FAR ARE WE FROM THE COUNCIL?

IM A BELL: 200 MILES!!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: BRING IT ON!
NAMINE: We're jumping through a forest.

HOMESCHOOL: AHH!!! WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT THERE!!!!

DISEMBODIED VOICE:{voice sounds like somewhat-legible static} Never say never!

HOMESCHOOL: "Ever and ever?"

IM A BELL: I think "Never say never"

{a Smash Ball appears}

LIGHTNING GUY: Of course it does.

IM A BELL: Huh? {lunges at Smash Ball}

HOMESCHOOL: WAHH! {does same}

{both crush the Smash Ball, and they do their Final Smashes. A giant Error message reading "Error: Attack: Multiple Final Smash not found."}

LIGHTNING GUY: Great, can we get on with the cannon firing crap now?
NAMINE: We're jumping through a forest.

IM A BELL: Huh? {clicks OK}

{time slows down, then stops completely}

HOMESCHOOL: ...Wow. We broke time.

LIGHTNING GUY: GOT DANG
{Namine takes out a bottle of vodka and begins drinking.}
NAMINE: We're jumping through a forest.

IT

NAMINE: We're jumping through-

BELL

NAMINE: -a forest.

IM A BELL: ...Yay?

HOMESCHOOL: Yes yay.

LIGHTNING GUY: Yesteryay.

Now we have as much time as we need to get to the Council.

IM A BELL: Oh. Good. {jumps off}

HOMESCHOOL: True. {does same}

LIGHTNING GUY: {cries bitterly}
NAMINE: Guess what we're jumping through.
Freaking convenient video game items!

CONTINUED SOON!!!!!

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