RiffText/RTOD/Bling Emails/Playtime

Summary

T3h Blu-hinger

LIGHTNING GUY: T3h shut the crap up.

NAMINE: Remember when you used to like John?

NOXIGAR: I remember occasionally liking Jason, which was a fictitious persona used to essentially have pisstakes at everyone else's expense.
NAMINE: I presume you'd have understood Jason as who I meant.
NOXIGAR: I remember a little bit. I additionally recollect that my fondness for Jason died when I reluctantly gave my Skype out to others.
NAMINE: Wait, reluctantly?
NOXIGAR: I didn't want to join the Skype group even during its conception. I kept getting pestered to join, and wanted that annoyance to stop.
NAMINE: That isn't boding well.
NOXIGAR: Essentially, all I did was get annoyed to the point of doing something to stop being annoyed. It's the same gimmick others have pulled on me in high school.

NAMINE: Yeezus.

plays with a godly wolf.

Cast (in order of their appearance): Bling, 1-up, Grundy, New Bell, Amaterasu no Okami, Im a bell

Places: Bling's computer room, the field/outside the house, Amaterasu no Okami's house

Transcript

BLING: E-mail, Eeeeeeeee-mail!

BLING, GRUNDY & 1-UP: Email come and me wan' go check!

1-UP: Type all night on a pudding cup!

ALL: Email come and me wan' go check!

GRUNDY: Check email till de mornin' come!

ALL: Email come and me wan' go check!

BLING: Come, Mister email man, email me computah!

ALL: Email come and me wan' go check!

BLING: Come, Mister email man, email me computah!

ALL: Email come and me wan' go check!

BLING: E, me say e, me say e, me say e, me say e, me say eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-mail!

ALL: Email come and me wan' go check!

LIGHTNING GUY: All of Africa is now cringing in pain.

No subject

Dear Bluhinger

HI
Fr0m

t3h virus lololololoololololrofl!!!!!111111111111
1111111111

GRUNDY: ...No. Just no.

{Bling types "fwd:[email protected], [email protected]" and hits enter}

LIGHTNING GUY: Political jokes. You win the sophistication medal.

BLING: Hehehe.

Wolf's Play!

Dear Bling,

I was wondering if you would like to come and play.
I swear not to use my godly powers!

LIGHTNING GUY: That means nothing coming from a god.

From Amaterasu no Okami

GRUNDY: Who is Amaterasu no Okami? {pronounces this as "Amateur a Sue. No. Okay me."}

BLING: Amaterasu no Okami is a wolf-like god who is a friend of Chaos.

1-UP: And WHO is Cocoas?

LIGHTNING GUY: Obvious lack of common sense. I'll take that medal back, now.

NOXIGAR: The "sophistication" medal isn't yours to have, either.

GRUNDY: I think he said "Cacaos"

1-UP: A cacodemon?

GRUNDY: That's just stupid. WHY would a god be friends with a Daemon?

LIGHTNING GUY: For the same reasons he'd be friends with you.

BLING: Um, it's Chaos. ...You guys don't get out much, do you?

LIGHTNING GUY: And you're such a cosmopolitan.

GRUNDY: {completely ignoring Bling} A dimmer?

1-UP: Lightswitch?

GRUNDY: That's likely. {to Bling} Bling, why is a wolf god friends with a lightswith?

LIGHTNING GUY: I can't believe it. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for Bling.

BLING: His name's CHAOS!

1-UP: A lightbulb?

BLING: {gets out his shotgun} Start running.

GRUNDY & 1-UP: AAAAAAHHHH!!!!! {run away}

LIGHTNING GUY: They're running away from a 4-year-old that probably can't even reach the trigger.

BLING:{typing} Anyways, Amaterasu, I'd LOVE to play with you! {gets up and walks off}

{cut to outside the house. Bling is getting in a car}

BLING: I better do this... {morphs into New Bell} There. Now I can drive over to Okami's place. {starts car}

LIGHTNING GUY: He can power a shotgun and drive. What a prodigy.

{cut to Amaterasu no Okami's house. New Bell drives up. He gets out of the car and walks up to the door. New Bell rings the doorbell and transforms back into Bling. Okami opens the door}

BLING: Yo, Okami!

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm your brother, and I'm fly! You down with that, Snoopy? That's dope, innit?

{Noxigar retches after reading that statement aloud}

OKAMI: Hey, Bling! Come inside!

{Bling walks inside}

BLING: Nice place you got he-{notices something on fire in the corner} DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT?!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Don't talk about his cooking that way.

OKAMI: Oh yeah. Some bell guy was creeping around my house the other day, so I caught and burned him.

BLING: OH MY GOD, THAT'S IM A BELL!

{Im a bell falls from the ceiling}

IM A BELL: You called? {walks over to flaming Bell corpse, takes a bite of it} Mmm... Nothin' better than roasted yourself.

LIGHTNING GUY: Only Bell could validate this level of cannibalism.

BLING: ...You know, this actually seems possible and normal since it's you.

IM A BELL: Yeah. {eats more of his burning corpse} You should try yourself!

BLING: Okay... {throws clone of self into fire, waits 5 minutes, eats} Mmm... It IS good!

LIGHTNING GUY: Welcome to Cooking With Mary Sues!

NOXIGAR: I thought it would've been "Cooking With Clones."

OKAMI: {deeply disturbed by both of them} Um... I don't really want to play with you anymore.

{cut back to the computer room}

BLING: Well, that was weir-

YOU HAS 2 NEU MESSAGES.

LIGHTNING GUY: Those NEU guys just won't leave us alone.

BLING: Open them please.

Play?

Okay, I want to play with you againymore.

-Okami

LIGHTNING GUY: He sounds so much like a god, it's uncanny.

BLING:{typing} I'll play with you tomorrow.

Back?

Can we come back now?
Please?
-Grundy & 1-up

BLING:{typing} Sure.

LIGHTNING GUY: They're as hard to get rid of as herpes,

NOXIGAR: This implies you have any idea what herpes is, let alone being afflicted with the virus.

anyway.

{the paper comes down}