RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/5

Summary

Bell is temporarily possessed.

Cast: Tracy, Kinzoku "Kinzo" Muchitsujo, Sarah McAllister, Im a bell

Places: Bell's House

Episode Information: 105-It's Best to Get Demon Possessions Checked Out Ahead of Time

Insult: semi-evolved simians

Credit Joke: NOBODY. NOBODY AT ALL

Transcript

{fade from black to Bell's living room. Pause for five seconds}

TRACY:{runs onscreen on fire} AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI'MONFIREAAAAAAAAAA... {runs offscreen}

BLUEBRY: Just a normal day...

NOXIGAR: Implying there is a solid, concrete "normal day" anywhere at all.

{cue theme song. cut to the outside of Bell's house. A red-skinned man with horns, black hair, and a tuxedo walks up to the door. Zoom in on him}

PERSON:{knocks on door, sounds like Eric Idle}

BLUEBRY: who
CHWOKA: Eric Idle, of Monty Python fame, who went past his prime 30 YEARS AGO.

Demon! {knocks on door again} DEMON!

CHWOKA: This is probably the best realized scene in the entire chronicle.

SARAH:{answers door} Yes? Who're you?

DEMON: I'm a demon, madam.

SKULLB: "Perfectly normal, nothin' wrong 'ere, ma'am!"

Can I come in and possess a few things?

SKULLB: Well, he's certainly polite about it.
CHWOKA: HE'S A REPO MAN

SARAH: ...Are you an encyclopedia salesman?

DEMON: I'm a DEMON, madam.

SARAH: ...Is that a yes?

SKULLB: Further proof that Sarah is completely braindead.

DEMON: No, no, no. I'm an average demon.

BLUEBRY: He got Cs in school.
CHWOKA: His horn is 6 1/2 inches long.

NOXIGAR: Lesee... 6.5 inches multiplied by 2.54 is... 16.51, no wait there only needs to be two significant figures, so approximately 17. centimetres is... fairly average if 12 inches is around 30.5--->31. 17 divided by 31 is, hamina-hoo, around .55 if we hold up the sig fig rule, which multiplied by 100 is 55%, which is an F. No, a 6 1/2 inch horn is actually-

BELOW
average.

SARAH: Er... Good enough for me. {moves out of he demon's way}

DEMON:{steps in} Thaaank you.

CHWOKA: From Eric Idle to Snidely Whiplash!

{cut to inside the house}

IM A BELL: Sarah, who is it?

SARAH: It's a demon. He's here to possess things.

IM A BELL: He isn't an encyclopedia salesman, is he?

BLUEBRY: Do you all have like, an intense thirst for knowledge?
SKULLB: Looks like the apple don't fall far from the stupid tree, do it?

NOXIGAR: An apple hit Newton in the head. It made him discover the entirety of gravity. Apples do a lot of crazy shit.

DEMON: NO I'M NOT. {possesses Bell}

CHWOKA: "HO-" oh sorry guys i mean SPOOK CLI i mean THE ACTION NEVER STOPS i mean oh forget it

{bell's eyes glow red}

SKULLB: yeah okay yeah okay

DEMON:{sounds like Eric Idle

BLUEBRY: who

overlapping Bob(of Bob and George)

BLUEBRY: who

(Bell sounds like Bob)}

CHWOKA: Action brackets are where you put most of your explanations.

Ah, that's better.

SKULLB: we all know who these are

TRACY:{walks onscreen} Hey-What's with my dad?

SARAH: Possessed.

TRACY: Ah.

DEMON: Anyways, hello. My name is Kinzoku Muchitsujo.

CHWOKA: Why does every new character's name start with K?
BLUEBRY: This is the Linux of fanfictions

You can call me Kinzo if you like.

SKULLB: AGAIN

TRACY: Nice to meet you, Kinzo.

BLUEBRY: It's always nice to meet a hellbeast.

KINZO: The same to you, Tracy.

TRACY: How-how do you know my name?

CHWOKA: Nonplussed by his father losing his entire personality and consciousness all at once, Tracy goes on do win the gold!

NOXIGAR: To win the gold.

KINZO: I know everything Bell knows, and he knows everything I know, including what every person I've possessed knows.

CHWOKA: symbiosis is the word you're looking for i think you will see

I possessed George Lucas, you know.

TRACY: You didn't cause Jar-Jar Binks, did you?

CHWOKA: I don't even think Bell has a genuine dislike of Jar-Jar. He's just absorbed hate from everyone else.

KINZO: No. That was before I possessed him.

BLUEBRY: So you COULD be responsible for Attack of the Clones.

He was hit in the head by a golf ball, and temporarily could only think of anthropomorphic hairless rabbits with speech impediments.

SKULLB: Is this funny? I'm feeling more pain than anything.

TRACY: I see.

CHWOKA: therefore I am!

KINZO: Yes... Anyways, I should go ahead and try out some of his alternate forms. Let me just quickly go over all of the data in his memory banks. Every terabyte of memory takes one second.

BLUEBRY: So if it's a machine... then is the demon a virus?

{one hour later}

KINZO: I've gone through half... Eh, that's probably enough. {becomes 9}

BLUEBRY: Watch out, you might get eaten by 7.

This-this is nice.

CHWOKA: It turns out the demon was female, and possessing a male gives it an orgasm.

Hmmhmmhmm. {fires a dark ball of energy at Tracy, who eats it} Eh... {becomes Pure Watashi, prefoms

BLUEBRY: performs

a Pure Zanmato, harming himself} AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!! {separates from Bell} Owowowowowow...

CHWOKA: {imitating curly} Wowowowowowowowowowow!

IM A BELL:{revers back to normal} Probably shoulda read ALL of my memory, eh?

SKULLB: I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T
{SkullB throws up.}
SKULLB: AUUUUGH

KINZO: Help me...

IM A BELL:{sighs} FINE.

{cut to Bell's basement. It looks the same as it did in episode 2, except now Kinzo, badly maimed, is laying on the table. Bell is placing metal around his body, and soldering them together. cut to bell's living room a few minutes later, where Tracy and Sarah are sitting on the couch}

SKULLB: what

SARAH: I hope he's alright...

TRACY: Eh, I'm sure he's fine.

IM A BELL:{walks onscreen} He is done! Presenting... The NEW Kinzo!

KINZO:{walks onscreen. his chest, stomach, and arms are modeled

BLUEBRY: modelled

NOXIGAR: Actually both spellings are okay, but yeah, I prefer "modelled" thank you.

after the TF G1 Startscream,

CHWOKA: what

and his hips and legs are modeled

BLUEBRY: modelled

after the TF Energon Galvatron} Hello, everybody. What d'you think?

CHWOKA: He's looking quite dapper, he's got a date tonight!

TRACY: Ehh, kinda fanboyish.

SKULLB: And what isn't?

NOXIGAR: You, apparently.

IM A BELL: ... {chases Tracy offscreen}

{cue credits}