RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/21

Bell and Tracy race

CHWOKA: Hey, at least it's not a fight!

NOXIGAR: Ersatz substitution? Ever heard of that?

eachother.

CHWOKA: each other

Cast: Bell, Tracy, Sarah, Don Skull, Mature Bling, Doc Ock, Salesman, Chaos, A Cop, Malleo, Weegee, Walleo, Warweegee, Luigi, Mario, Waluigi, Wario, Princess Pitch, King Kyoupah, Bowser, Princess Peach

Places: Bling's Living Room, Racetrack, Cliff

CHWOKA: Gee, I do wonder what obstacles they are going to drive into!

Episode Information: 403-Don't Make Obvious "Fast and Furious" Parodies Lest They End In Shame

Insult: forced meme

Credit Joke: Seth McFarlane

BLUEBRY: {sigh}

NOXIGAR: No, you see, it's a joke because- okay no one cares.

Transcript

{open to Bell and the gang watching TV. Unca Joe walks in. Everyone looks at him, surprised}

UNCA JOE: Hey! I'm a new char-

{Doctor Octopus flies in}

DOC OCK: DOCTOR OCTOGONAPUS BLAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! {fires his lazer, destroying Unca Joe}

BLUEBRY: now do more

IM A BELL: THANK YOU!

{doorbell rings}

IM A BELL: Hey, could you get that?

DOC OCK: Sure. {flies off}

{cut to outside Bling's house. A salesman holding a Chaos doll is standing there. Doc Ock opens the door}

SALESMAN: Hi, would you like to buy a-Awww, what the f-

DOC OCK: BLAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! {fires his lazer into the salesman, closes the door}

BLUEBRY: nono, do the OTHER ones

{cut back to Bell and co. Doc Ock flies back in}

DOC OCK: Taken care of.

IM A BELL: Excellent.

{Doc Ock starts to leave}

IM A BELL: There's an extra room in this house. You can stay here if you want.

DOC OCK: ...No. I must leave.

BLUEBRY: "I've got dinner at home and I just rented the second season of LOST"

IM A BELL: What? Why? Is it because of how I treated you all those times you messed up this house, even though it is your job to break awkward silences?

DOC OCK: No, no. I forgive you for that. There is another reason. You will see me again when the time comes. But for now I must exit this universe and move on to the next.

BLUEBRY: TAKE ME WITH YOU

NOXIGAR: Forever alone much? Oh wait no that's me.

IM A BELL: But... How will you get out?

DOC OCK: Well, this will be the last time in a cold open I will appear and do my silence-breaking thing.

BLUEBRY: just, get rid of them super quickly, please

Essentially, it's the end of a Lazer Collection. And what always happens at the end of a Lazer Collection?

{a pillar of static appears and forms a giant Imperfect Cell shoop}

IMPERFECT CELL: IMMA FIRIN MAH-

{Doc Ock pulls out a giant taco and shoves it into Cell's mouth}

IMPERFECT CELL: AACK. {puffs up, explodes, implodes in a circular motion, and becomes a portal}

DOC OCK: See ya. {enters the portal}

CHWOKA: They turned a gag character into this.

TRACY: ...Well, that was stupid.

BLUEBRY: everything on this "show" is

IM A BELL: Quiet, you.

{cue opening theme. Cut to a racetrack. Bell and co walk in}

TRACY: Bell... I challenge you... TO A DUEL!

CHWOKA: A gentleman's duel?

NOXIGAR: No, a gentleman's D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-damn this is hurting my diaphragm.

IM A BELL: ...Sure, why not.

SARAH: This is really stupid.

BLUEBRY: yep

DON SKULL: How much do you wanna bet this plot will end in a minute or two?

SARAH: Hell, it shouldn't even be starting.

BLUEBRY: I agree so much

MATURE BLING: What a horrible episode...

BLUEBRY: I know, right?
CHWOKA: Heck, if it's such a bad episode that even the characters think so, why don't I just go ahead and leave?
{Chwoka leaves the theater}
SKULLB: You can leave?

NOXIGAR: It's a theatre. All theatres have an exit.

SARAH: You know, you shouldn't be saying that...

MATURE BLING: Why?

{pan over to show an angry Chaos standing there}

MATURE BLING: Oh. {realization} OH SH-

{Chaos punches MB in the mouth}

MATURE BLING: AAGH!

{cut to the actual track. Bell and Tracy are in racecars. Bell is in a purple one with black windows and red tires, Tracy is in a completely golden one}

IM A BELL: Ready when you are.

TRACY: Well, I'm ready.

{Bell and Tracy start driving. Bell has the lead. Tracy speeds ahead of him. Bell starts smashing Tracy's car. Tracy slows down and gets behind Bell and starts smashing his car. Bell speeds up, and so does Tracy. Bell slows down, and Tracy smashes into the back of Bell's car, destroying his car. Tracy flies into Bell's car. Bell drives into a wall. He and Tracy jump out right bfore the car collides with the wall. Bell and Tracy fly up and into Don Skull, and drive off}

BLUEBRY: I just skipped over that.

SARAH: ... Umm...

{cut to a cliff. Bell and Tracy drive in}

IM A BELL: Wait a minute. {swerves around}

{cut to a few yards away. There is a fat cop holding a box of donuts.

BLUEBRY: cops in my town just hold radar guns

Bell drives in and grabs them}

COP: Wh-HEY!!!

{cut back to the cliff. Bell and Tracy drive in and off the cliff. Camera pans over to Sarah and MB watching them}

SARAH: ...GOD I hope this episode ends soon.

BLUEBRY: we all share your pain

MATURE BLING: I know.

{two cars speed by}

SARAH: What.

{Chwoka makes his way back in}
CHWOKA: Hey guys, what's going on here?

{cut to the first car. Malleo is driving it. Weegee is in the passenger's seat and a badly drawn Wario and Waluigi(Walleo and Warweegee) are in the back}

CHWOKA: I pity you people.
SKULLB: How do you leave?
CHWOKA: I... didn't, actually. Just went into the hallway.

NOXIGAR: Sure explains a lot, doesn't it?

WEEGEE: Ooh! Brother! They're gaining on us!

MALLEO: I know you flaming son of a Birdo. And speaking of flaming... Fire flower. {becomes Fire Malleo, starts shooting fireballs at the second car}

{cut to the second car. Mario is driving, Luigi is in the passenger's seat, Wario and Waluigi are in the back}

MARIO: My brother! Use-a this! {throws a fire flower to Luigi}

LUIGI: Thanks. {grabs the fire flower, becomes Fire Luigi, jumps out of his seat, double jumps to Malleo's car, starts shooting fireballs at Weegee}

BLUEBRY: {yawns}

NOXIGAR: And my shrugging and groaning was annoying to you. Really?

WEEGEE: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE WEEGEE? {explodes into a pile of flaming(no pun intended) pixels}

NOXIGAR: The insult is "forced memes". Get the memo, Weegee.

MALLEO: HOLY CRAP!

WALLEO: Hey, if Malleo is shooting fireballs, who is driving?

MALLEO: Plot holes.

WALLEO: Ah. Walleo sees. {pulls out a moped, starts driving towards Mario's car}

{cut back to Mario's car}

WARIO: I got this! {pulls out his bike, drives towards Walleo}

WALLEO: A game of chicken? WALLEO ACCEPTS WARIO'S CHALLENGE.

WARIO: DIE, YOU FREAK!!!!!

WALLEO: WARIO UNDERESTIMATES WALLEO! WARIO WILL BE THE ONE TO DIE!!!!

WARIO: SHUT UP YOU MUTANT! {jumps up, turns around, lands back on his bike, fires a large fart at Walleo, jumps up, turns body back to the normal position for driving a motorcycle}

WALLEO: NOOOOO-{boom}

WARIO: HAHA! WARIO'S ZE WEENER! {turns around, drives back to Mario's car}

WALUIGI:{snickers}

WARIO: Winner. I said winner. NOT WEINER.

{cut back to Malleo's car}

MALLEO: ...Whoa. Hmph. {fires another fireball at Mario's car}

WALUIGI:{hits the fireball back at Malleo with his tennis racket}

WARWEEGEE: Why you... {jumps up, holding a badminton racket, runs to Waluigi}

WALUIGI: I'll handle him! {jumps out, starts swordfighting Warweegee with his racket, bashes Warweegee in the head with it}

WARWEEGEE: AARGH. {falls to the ground}

WALUIGI: Yeah! {runs back to Mario's car} Mario, give me the wheel.

MARIO: Okay... {jumps into the back}

WALUIGI:{gets into the driver's seat, speeds up}

MARIO: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'LL GET US ALL KILLED!

WALUIGI: You're wrong. This car is much more sturdy than theirs. {smashes into Malleo's car car, destroying it and Weegee} Hehehe! Now, Mario, use a ground pound on Malleo!

MARIO: Oookay... {jumps up, ground pounds Malleo}

MALLEO: AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-{explodes}

WALUIGI: There. We've destroyed them.

MARIO: Excellent!

LUIGI: Hmm... If there's Walleo and Warweegee, then is there-

{an orange dragon(King Kyoupah) and a badly drawn Peach(Princess Pitch) appear}

LUIGI: ...I'll take that as a yes.

{King Kyoupah is about to attack Mario when suddenly Bowser and Princess Peach appear}

PEACH: Stop. {grabs Pitch, throws her off the cliff}

PITCH: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

KING KYOUPAH: RRRRR... {grows large and more badly drawn} MEGA KYOUPAH!

BOWSER: ...Is that all? {becomes Giga Bowser, who is bigger than Mega Kyoupah}

MEGA KYOUPAH: WHAT.

GIGA BOWSER: DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS? A GIGA IS BIGGER THAN A MEGA! {grabs Mega Kyoupah, swallows him whole, transforms back to Bowser}

{pan over to MB and Sarah}

SARAH: ...This. Is the STUPIDEST. Episode. Of Records of Bell. EVER.

MATURE BLING: Agreed. Let's end this mess.

{cue credits}

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NOXIGAR: {groans} Damn it, Skullbuggy. Are you vomiting or groaning or what?