RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/2

Summary

Ooh. Fancy new killbots.

CHWOKA: Is Bell gonna die finally?

NOXIGAR: I highly doubt that. BUT, the killbots prove that Bell isn't self-important enough to not admit that people dislike him.

Cast: Skullbuggy, Im a bell, Trashed Skullbuggy,

SKULLB: WAIT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

NOXIGAR: In the butt.

Don Skull, Bling, Tracy, Kuro,

Places: Bell's House, Junkyard, Bell's Basement, Tracy's room

Episode Information: 102-When Trashing A Robot, Remember To Destroy It Completely

Insult: comedically

BLUEBRY: comically

incompetent lemmings

Credit Joke: My Fans (If Any)

SKULLB: My Fans (None)

NOXIGAR: I prefer (If Any) over (None). Much more context-sensitive.

Transcript

{fade from black to Skullbuggy on television}

CHWOKA: Wh-but... {looks back and forth between SkullB and the other SkullB,}
SKULLB: This is worse on me than it is on you.

NOXIGAR: DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY!

SKULLBUGGY: Three others were created, but they were junked as well, under law.

IM A BELL: Ooh. I should find one and fix it up. ...After the show's over.

SKULLB: HE WANTS TO USE ME AS A CHARACTER
{SkullB throws up all over his lap.}

{cue theme song. Cut to a junkyard. Bell finds a dented up and rusty Skullbuggy}

SKULLB: oh god

IM A BELL: Hmm. I'm surprised Skull Enterprises didn't destroy the Skullbuggies completely.

CHWOKA: I'm not. It's pretty convenient for you.
SKULLB: d-d-d-d-destroy

{cut to Bell's basement. It is covered in metal. The Skullbuggy is lying on a table. Bell is washing it. He then takes the chassis off and gets all of the dents out of it. He reaches into the mass of wires behind the skull. Bell pulls out a personality chip. He cleans it, fixes it, and places the chip back into the Skullbuggy. Bell then replaces the tires with new, red ones, and spraypaints the chassis black and the skull purple. Next, he finds a wire connected to a button on the skullbuggy's dashboard and traces it to another chip. Bell then removes that chip and replaces it with a new one. He then places the chassis back onto the Skullbuggy and welds it on tight. Bell flips a switch on the dashboard and the Skullbuggy awakens}

CHWOKA:
SKULLB: THE ACTION NEVER STOPS

IM A BELL: IT'S ALIVE! ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!

SKULLBUGGY: Wha-Where am I? Who are you?

SKULLB: I should ask you the same thing... me?

IM A BELL: Hello. I am Im

CHWOKA: I'm I'm?

a bell,

CHWOKA: He doesn't think he's important enough to justify capitalizing his own name.
SKULLB: It's probably some Japanese thing. God if I know.

NOXIGAR: It isn't.

your owner. I rescued you from a junkyard after Skull Enterprises trashed you because of a law about no killbots or some crap.

BLUEBRY: How dare they.

I now christen you Don Skull.

SKULLB: "You come to me on the day of my robot's birthday, and you expect a favor?"

DON SKULL: Ah. I see. Thank you, Bell. May I call you Bell?

SKULLB: YOU MAY CALL ME BELL-SEMPAI

IM A BELL: Sure. Go ahead.

CHWOKA: He's a chronic doormat.

DON SKULL: Good, good. Say,

CHWOKA: I SAY GOOD SIR,

you didn't remove my transforming mechanism, did you?

BLUEBRY: I still have arms, right?

IM A BELL: No, not at all. In fact, I fixed it up. Watch. {presses the button on Don Skull's dashboard}

BLUEBRY: THERE IS ONLY ONE BUTTON
CHWOKA: IT IS THE "HATING IM A BELL" BUTTON. SEE WATCH
{Chwoka presses the button on SkullB's dashboard.}
SKULLB: IT IS NO USE I ALREADY HATE BELL TO MAXIMUM CAPACITY

NOXIGAR: Congratulations! The "HATING IM A BELL" button is obsolete! Now go to SPOOK CLIFF and get the newest model.

DON SKULL:{transforms into a Red, black, and purple Proto Man with a dark blue goatee and Bass' legs and hips} Ooh. Nice.

SKULLB: AUUUUGH THAT IS NOT HOW THE BODY SHOULD WORK
{SkullB starts to retch again.}

IM A BELL: Yes. Yes it is. Say, would you like to meet my close friends and family?

CHWOKA: That's how people talk?

DON SKULL:{transforms back into Skullbuggy mode} Ehh, sure. Why not?

SKULLB: because they are completely retarded

{cut to Tracy's room. Bling, Tracy, and Kuro are in there smoking.

BLUEBRY: *tsk tsk*

Bell and Don Skull walk in}

IM A BELL: Hey, guys? This is Don-Er-What is that?

CHWOKA: Funny name.

KURO: Pot. Why?

BLUEBRY: you are SO badass

IM A BELL: Wh-where'd you get it?

CHWOKA: Their dealer. DUH.

TRACY: I have a garden out back, dumbass.

SKULLB: "It's really parsley, but I want to be cool. ;_;"

NOXIGAR: "Oh man, I got a luchador muthafucka to give me this pot, and I did it through use of a parcel."

IM A BELL: Oh yeah. Anyways, guys, this is Don Skull. He's a skullbuggy I found in a junkyard.

BLING: Nice to meet you.

DON SKULL: Aren't you a little young to be smoking that?

BLUEBRY: weed is a need
CHWOKA: Who is he talking to?

NOXIGAR: Why the hell is Ron Paul not president yet?

BLING: Screw you. I'm eighteen.

BLUEBRY: take THAT authority !!!!!!!

DON SKULL: But you look two.

CHWOKA: Oh, I see. Well, he never said he was in his child form in the description and besides, having different "forms" for your characters is stupid and dumb and dumb and stupid.

NOXIGAR: Then Darlon and Vanhock were immediately disregarded so the word would be kept on his part.

BLING: Huh? Oh. {transforms into adult bling} There.

IM A BELL: Aaaanyways, Don, this is Tracy-

CHWOKA: I'll trace you!
BLUEBRY: That doesn't even make sense.
CHWOKA: I'M TOO ANGRY TO MAKE SENSE

TRACY: Hi.

IM A BELL: -Kuro-

KURO:{nods}

IM A BELL: -and Bling.

BLING: Yo.

DON SKULL: 'Tis nice to meet you all.

{cut to a few hours later. Everyone is stoned except Bell}

DON SKULL: D-did you ever notice all the violence in the world?

CHWOKA: ...mostly perpetuated by BELL!

NOXIGAR: {singing} In violent times,
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SELL YOUR SOOOOUUUULLLL

BLING: Y-Yeah. Like, we need to do something about it, man.

TRACY: Yeah, man.

SKULLB: All people talk like this when they're high, man. I know this because I, like, watched Cheech and Chong, maaaaaaan.

NOXIGAR: Another example would be The Big Lebowski, but that involves an explicitly specific scene and- Wait, no, there seems to be an issue with commas here, too.

IM A BELL:{smoking ten joints at once} ...Why isn't this working?

KURO: Like, you're to uptight, man. Ya just need to relax, ya dig?

IM A BELL: ...Nah, I just need more pot. {lights three more joints, smokes them with the other ten} Crap. Maybe I have to be drunk. {opens a bottle of vodka}

SKULLB: SAGSDFHDHDHGFHGFD

NOXIGAR: At least it's not sake. Ya know, from Japan?

DON SKULL: NO, YOU IDIO-

{cue explosion similar to the ending of the Futurama episode "War Is The H-Word".

BLUEBRY: Oh okay, because I know that EXACTLY

cue credits}

NOXIGAR: WAR IS HELL OH HA HA HA I HAD GOTTEN IT THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED RECORDS OF BELL.