RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/14

Summary

Bell meets up with an old rival of his.

Cast: Im a bell, Sarah, Mature Bling, Tracy, Don Skull, Doctor Octopus, Haiachi-Sensei, Aichen

SKULLB: "I expect you to know who all of these people are >:("

Places: Bling's House, Dojo

Episode Information: 302-Always Check And Make Sure You Have No Rivals Living There Before You Move

Insult: poorly edited George Bush images

Credit Joke: Um... Nobody

SKULLB: Reads This

Transcript

{open to Bling's house. Everyone is there}

BLUEBRY: Everyone.
CHWOKA: {singing} Everyone will leave/ at exACtly/ the same time.

IM A BELL: ... So, um...

<@Chwoka>Bluebry: so um
<@Bluebry>Chwoka: so um

SARAH: Yeah...

MATURE BLING: Hmm...

TRACY: Heh.

DON SKULL: Yep.

BLUEBRY: Riveting dialog.
SKULLB: I'm on the edge of my sea-

{pause 5 seconds. Doctor Octopus flies in}

DOC OCK: DOCTOR OCTOGONAPUS BLAAAAH! {fires his lazer}

BLUEBRY: laser
SKULLB:

NOXIGAR: That meme I don't like either, for it ruined one of my favorite comic book antagonists.

{cue theme song. cut back to Bling's house}

TRACY: So, what should we do?

BLUEBRY: shopiiiiiiiiiiing

NOXIGAR: shopping

MATURE BLING: Explore Tokyo?

SKULLB: pffft what ancient culture and history ANIMES ARE ABOUT

SARAH: But where?

IM A BELL: I suggest we first visit the dojo I used to go to.

DON SKULL: Where?

IM A BELL: You know when I left for Japan and let Bling run my email show for a while?

DON SKULL: No.

SARAH: No.

TRACY: No.

SKULLB: No.

MATURE BLING: Yeah.

IM A BELL: Er, oh yeah. This was before any of you, except Bling of course, were born.

BLUEBRY: No, it's more that nobody watched your email show.
SKULLB: It's m- dammit, Blue. You beat me to the punch.
CHWOKA: Oh, that reminds me!
{Chwoka punches SkullB in the shoulder}
CHWOKA: Punchbuggy.

NOXIGAR: You hurt Skullbuggy, my favorite of the riffers.
WHAT IS THIS STUPID PUNCH JOKE, THERE ISN'T EVEN A PUNCHLINE

TRACY: Huh.

CHWOKA: SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MATURE BLING: Well, I say we should go. I'd like to see them all again.

{OOC: A few years after Bell returns, he and Bling go back to Japan}

{OOC: I DON'T FRIGGIN' CARE - SkullB}

SARAH: Same here!

IM A BELL: Then it's settled! We're going!

{cut to a dojo. Bell and co walk onscreen. A purple-skinned man with sunglasses, brown hair, grey pants, black spiked shoes, and white chest hair is fighting a bald old man with a red sleeveless shirt, tattered blue jeans, a black belt, a black headband, and a large white beard}

SKULLB: This is the worst character design

IM A BELL:{to the purple-skinned man} Aichen!

BLUEBRY: Bless you.

AICHEN:

CHWOKA: How am I doing? I'm ACHIN'! Eh? Eh?

Eh? Bell! Bling! How ya doin'? How's Keiko?

CHWOKA: You could save money by switching to Keiko.

{Bell breaks into tears}

AICHEN: What? was it something I said?

SKULLB: "Your accent is so... terrible!"

MATURE BLING: Keiko is dead.

CHWOKA: Reality-flippin'-bending POWERS.

AICHEN: What? How?

MATURE BLING: Childbirth.

CHWOKA: That is to say, the child was born so ridiculously overpowered it killed its mother with its thoughts.

AICHEN: Oy.

SKULLB: Is he a Jewish guy living in Japan? Really?

NOXIGAR: I wonder what other trick Bell has up his sleeve.

{to Tracy} By the look of you, I'd think it's YOUR childbirth that killed her?

TRACY: Oh, thanks! Now you've just reminded him!

{Im a bell punches Tracy in the face}

SKULLB: safsdqw
CHWOKA: Violence solves everything!

AICHEN: ...I'm not going to say anything about her anymore. Anyways, who are these... Things?

BLUEBRY: That is the BEST term ANYONE has ever used.

{OOC: You may recall Bell had said in episode 103 that he and his wife met while destroying a city. This is somewhat true. Bell and Keiko met, and then she advised him to go to the dojo she was training at}

{OOC: I still don't care at all - SkullB}

MATURE BLING: Get ahold of yourself, dammit. {smacks Bell} Anyways, The car is Don Skull, The fourth Skullbuggy.

AICHEN: Fourth?

MATURE BLING: Yes. There are five. SkullB, Number Two, Edward Skullington III, Don Skull, and Number Five.

SKULLB: WHAT THE F***ING SH**

NOXIGAR: You don't remember Henry Ford's assembly line?

AICHEN: Huh.

MATURE BLING: Anyways, the brit

BLUEBRY: Brit, however that is a slang term, it should be Briton

is Tracy,

SKULLB: Yeah well any dickhead can put on a British accent so :T

and the woman is Bell's new wife, Sarah. They just got married yesterday.

AICHEN: Ah. Nice to meet you.

SARAH: Nice to meet you. Say, who's the lecherous old pedophile?

OLD MAN: For your information, I'm not a pedophile. But I AM lecherous. VERY lecherous.

CHWOKA: He uses that as a pick-up line.

And my name is Haiachi.

SKULLB: "And I'm a registered sex offender."

IM A BELL: Say, Haiachi-sensei?

CHWOKA: JAPAN

HAIACHI: Yes, Bell?

IM A BELL: Ever since we've met, you seemed to act like you already had known me. Why?

HAIACHI: Bell, I AM you. Well, a future you.

BLUEBRY: shock and suspense, another plot device
SKULLB: Oh boy I can't wait. Oh wait yes I can >:(

IM A BELL: What are you talking about? I've SEEN my future, right up until a day before I die. It's impossible for you to be me.

HAIACHI: I'm you from an alternate universe. A universe where you never met Keiko.

IM A BELL: Huh. Is this the same universe where I become Scythedon,

CHWOKA: oh god no are yo trying to tell me im a bell is shadow scythe

and my little brother is Dave Anez?

SKULLB: Oh shut up already NOBODY KNOWS WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE

HAIACHI: No. Definitely not. Do I LOOK sane to you?

IM A BELL: No, no you don't. So, um... Yeah. Aichen, you wanna fight?

SKULLB: SON OF A BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

{Noxigar finds a broken record and shuts it off}

AICHEN: Sure, why not?

BLUEBRY: i heard it hurts :(:(:(

IM A BELL: I must warn you. I did not show my full power when we first met.

SKULLB: Oh cool this is gonna be like DBZ but PAINFUL

NOXIGAR: DBZ was never good. Now, for a real Son Goku there is a Journey to the West one might read from China. But since Bell is using Japan I take it this would not be observed.

AICHEN: Neither did I.

CHWOKA: And I'm not left-handed.

IM A BELL: HAAAA!!!! {transforms into Pure Watashi}

BLUEBRY: robots in disguise

AICHEN: Bringing out Pure Watashi already? So predictable.

SKULLB: DBZ-ometer: 15%

NOXIGAR: And the remaining 85% is?

PURE WATASHI: Yes... HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! {transforms into Subspace Bell}

AICHEN: Is-is that Demon Bell?

CHWOKA: He said, flapping his gums.

SUBSPACE BELL: Not exactly. He's really Subspace Bell, a being mixed between 9 and Demon Bell. He's my second destined form.

SKULLB: DBZ-ometer: 46%

NOXIGAR: And the remaining 54% is?

AICHEN: How many are there?

SUBSPACE BELL: Three. The first is Pure Watashi.

AICHEN: And the third?

SUBSPACE BELL: THIS! HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHWOKA: {poot}

{transforms into Perfect Bell} PERFECT BELL!

SKULLB: DBZ-ometer: 62%

NOXIGAR: The remaining 38%?

AICHEN: Ooh. Impressive. Now, WITNESS MY TRUE FORM! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! {hair spikes up and turns blonde. long, brown hair grows in the back. a skull tattoo forms on his forehead. his eyes turn red. his pants turn black. his shoes become turquoise with back stripes. dark red gloves form on his hands. his sunglasses turn orange. black wings grow on his back} HYPER AICHEN!

SKULLB: DBZ-ometer: GODDAMMIT%

NOXIGAR: ...that isn't a number...

PERFECT BELL: That's... Unimpressive.

AICHEN: What? What do you mean?

PERFECT BELL: You appear to not have increased your power that well. It seems to me that you designed this expecting those you face to run away when they see this form, not wanting to know how powerful you've become.

SKULLB: OH STOP IT

NOXIGAR: {singing} Shout, shout

LET IT ALL OUT
These are the things I can do without
COME ON
I'm talking to you
COME ON

AICHEN: Well, um, you're absolutely right.

PERFECT BELL: Tell ya what. I'll transform into Soul Reaper Bell for ya.

BLUEBRY: DON'T FEAR THE REAPER
SKULLB: No, it's okay, you don't have to

That's about the same strength you have now.

AICHEN: Hmm... Okay. That sounds fair.

SKULLB:

PERFECT BELL:{transforms into Soul Reaper Bell} There. Now then. {jumps up, pulls out a wooden katana,

BLUEBRY: what is that
CHWOKA: it's a dowel.

NOXIGAR: Dowel isn't a word. "Towel" is, though.

lights it on fire.

CHWOKA: CONJUNCTION JUNCTION, WHAT'S YOUR FUNCTION

NOXIGAR: {singing} Workin' on words, and phrases, and clauses-
NOXIGAR: {imitating Conjunction Junction, but not singing} Bah, that's just some hobo who I kicked out of the conjunction.

it transforms into something similar to a flaming Zangetsu

BLUEBRY: no, seriously, what is all this

, swings it at Aichen}

AICHEN:{dodges it} Aah! Hrm... {pulls out a shuriken

BLUEBRY: please explain all these obviously japanese terms

and snaps it in half. the shuriken pieces enlarge and attach to Aichen's foreams. they then turn into blades. Aichen starts swinging his arms at Bell}

SKULLB: All I can imagine is Andy Kaufman doing that windmilling punch thing and I cannot stop laughing

NOXIGAR: Cool, except I don't know who Andy Kaufman is

SOUL REAPER BELL: Aah! {dodges, flings flaming sword at Aichen, stabbing him}

AICHEN: AACK. {pulls sword out, snaps it in half. Aichen absorbs the sword halves, and his right forearm becomes a rapier. The other arm becomes a Trigger Gauge}

SKULLB: We don't care what these things are why are you constantly talking about them

SOUL REAPER BELL: Well, there's plenty more where that came from! {pulls out a golden zanpakuto}

BLUEBRY: There's this place by my house that makes AMAZING zanpakuto

Freeze... Zurui Kin! {the zanpakuto splits into five swords. they all fly at Aichen, stabbing him in the heart. he turns into A golden statue. they then slice the statue in half, revealing a severely hurt Aichen(original form)}

SKULLB: Oh of course that doesn't kill him

AICHEN: Urgh. Bell, you've won today. But this won't be the last time we meet. I will train for many days, and I will return in an even more powerful form! I SWEAR IT!

BLUEBRY: my parents told me not to swear :S

NOXIGAR: It explains your censorship, then.

SOUL REAPER BELL: Oh sure you will. Oh, by the way, you should get that checked.

CHWOKA: Well, as long as nothing of consequence is happening...
{Chwoka falls asleep}

AICHEN: Huh? {notices a hole rapidly growing on his chest} DAMMIT, BELL! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED YOU IN SOUL REAPER FORM! But trust me. I will take control of my hollow form, and KILL YOU! {fades away}

SKULLB: There is no sad enough

SOUL REAPER BELL: ...Ah, well.

{cue credits}

SKULLB: This was painful to read, I'm gonna be honest.

NOXIGAR: Which part?